Last week I watched a little of the television show, "Jon & Kate plus 8." They're all over the tabloids right now so there's no need to rehash in detail what's going on, but if you've never seen the show, here's a summary:
A few years ago, a young Christian couple with two kids had sextuplets. They invited TLC to tape their lives as they raised 8 kids, renewed their vows in a marriage special in Hawaii last season and last week addressed some painful marital issues that have become paparazzi fodder.
I wasn't going to write about the whole situation. A million people already have and reality TV tends to be a great hiding place to avoid dealing with our own lives. But in watching the swirl of conversation online about Jon and Kate I realized two things I think are true regardless of if you've ever seen the show.
1. When we say, "They got what they deserved" we forget that we didn't.
Did Jon and Kate introduce new risks and rewards into the structure of their family when they invited television cameras and millions of viewers into their home? Without a doubt. Does fame and celebrity come with consequences that are often toxic? Without a doubt. Did Jon and Kate get what they deserve? I don't know. I've seen other Christians express this opinion but I don't know Jon and Kate. I know me. And I didn't get what I deserved. I got grace. I got forgiveness. I got Christ. I got rescued from the ruins of a life that seemed beyond redemption. I got a second chance and a 10th chance and a 300th chance. I didn't get what I deserved. And when we say that someone, "Got what they deserved," whether we're talking about a reality TV couple, our relatives or our neighbors, we lose sight of grace, which is the undercurrent of our entire faith and a gift we do not deserve.
2. "That could never happen to me" is a dangerous sentence.
I don't know the devil, but I have to assume that when he hears a Christian judgmentally proclaim, "That could never happen to me," he does what I do when I hear the Black Eyed Peas song, "Boom, Boom, Pow," and that is the robot. He absolutely loves when we say that. It's not inherently a bad thought, it's just that often when we say "That could never happen to me" we don't take the time to answer the question, "Why?" Why wouldn't that emotional affair you're writing off as just "your flirtatious personality" multiply what's already poisonous and turn into a physical affair? Why wouldn't a week of late nights at the office turn into a month of late nights at the office turn into a year of late nights at the office turn into you knowing your kids as little as your dad knew you? Why wouldn't a small compromise on your dream turn into a bigger compromise on your dream turn into you being an accountant when you've always felt called to paint? Life is littered with moms and dads, pastors and CEOs that believed in the fake comfort of "that could never happen to me" and woke up one day to find a surprisingly broken life on their doorsteps.
I don't really want to analyze Jon and Kate today or discuss where things went wrong or pick apart things they said on the show. I don't really even have a good wrap up that kind of ties things together. All I can really say is that we are not immune to the woes we see in pop culture.
You don't need a million dollar house or flock of paparazzi to hurt yourself and your marriage. I didn't anyway. At times, my marriage has been able to be wounded without the aid of a reality show. But whether you're name is Jon and Kate Gosselin or Jon and Jenny Acuff, God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it.
Good point. I am so quick to forget so so often and it is easy to judge others. Sometimes though I think when we judge others its because we haven't got certian things in our own lives fixed so by judging others it either makes us feel better about ourself or deflects the attention away from our ow shortcomings. But yeah, Jesus died exactly so we won't get what we deserve and get to live a full life
ReplyDeleteThis is spot-on, Jon. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDelete"God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it."
ReplyDeleteI love this closing sentence! It's so true.
nesso: The Italian form of the name Nessie. (Sorry, that's all I can come up with this morning.)
I hadn't really thought of these types of news stories in that way before. It seems like we do just that, though ("That would never happen to me..."), with so many things we see and here. And you're totally right, it's a weird way of comforting ourselves. Good warning today.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing wrong with that post is my envy of your writing skills. Very well said.
ReplyDeleteThere's a young boy in our congregation who, during the time when we share our prayer requests, often mentions troubled celebrities (usually sports figures.) Everyone else titters at this, but that's cuz we forget they are also human beings, beloved by God.
What a great post! So many times we forget that celebrities are people too and we are so quick to judge other people and not look at our own faults. Thanks for this post. I'll be passing this on to others.
ReplyDeleteWell done, John.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jon. Good mirror check. I'm always forgetting what I look like. We are not immune.
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that. Well said.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you.
ReplyDeleteIt's been so interesting to watch the headlines and everything. I know I try to remain objective and remember grace, but it's hard.
ReplyDeleteMe and my wife have been studying a Couple's Devotional by Pat Morley, and it's been interesting to see Jon and Kate's fall into the fall that he said would come when all of these factors that are in his book happen.
I hope they remember grace. I hope they remember the love they had for each other. I never really pictured them as a picture-perfect Christian family, but maybe that's what they need. We should really be praying for them.
Amen, thank you for speaking out and pointing this out!!
ReplyDelete"--grace the undercurrent of our entire faith and a gift we do not deserve--"
ReplyDeleteOnce again you've succinctly wrapped up both the problem and the solution.
(Who-- or what-- is Jon and Kate plus Eight?)
While it isn't our place to judge, I do think we can discuss and learn from the experiences of others. There's a fine line between discussion and gossip, and I think it needs to be tread carefully, but we can still learn from the mistakes of others.
ReplyDeleteIn the case of John and Kate, what I've learned is how quickly things can get out of control. Being gone a few nights a year can become weekly travel in a very short span. Lack of privacy can foster resentment very, very quickly. And while it's foolish to say, "That could never happen to me," there can still be lessons learned. Maybe a stay-at-home mom who blogs every detail of her family's life will see that show and say, "Hey, maybe a little more privacy is in order because my family deserves it." Maybe a husband who often speaks harshly to his wife will observe the progression of the show and realize how quickly unkind and careless words build resentment and drive a wedge between people.
We shouldn't judge. But we should learn.
Very true, and well put!
ReplyDeleteBut I think part of the blame does lie at our feet, to some extent.
In the "Christian" pop culture we have a tendency to make idols of anyone who's a celebrity that also claims Christ, whether or not that faith is very deep (and I have absolutely no idea how deep Jon and Kate's is, and I don't really want to go into that).
But for instance, Zondervan, a Christian publisher, published a book that focused on their faith. I know tons of parents that have an incredible faith and are trying to do things God's way with enormous sacrifice, and yet they don't have book contracts because no one knows who they are.
But we lift up Jon and Kate, or Miley Cyrus, or even the President, because they claim Christ, and we're so excited to have someone "famous" on our side!
Maybe we should just let people be people. Maybe if we didn't lift them up so much--not just as celebrities, but as "Christian" celebrities--they wouldn't be put under the intense pressure they are. Maybe if we celebrated people simply because of the depth of their faith, and not because of their names or their fame, we'd be better off.
Again, I don't know Jon and Kate. They're probably wonderful people who just got themselves into a mess. But maybe if we stopped idolizing such people, they'd be less likely to feel such intense pressure.
Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!
I live in a bubble, so I don't know who you mean by Jon and Kate plus 8, or their struggles.
ReplyDeleteI do know what you mean about not saying "That could never happen to us." I've seen friends get divorced. While trying to be appreciative to one's spouse so it doesn't happen is a good thing, convincing ourselves it can't happen so we can just continue on AND sleep at night is not.
I also hate "They got what they deserved." That's cold. If I got wacked every time I deserved it, I'd be too bruised to move.
I used to be one of those judgmental people that would do both of those things. Then God allowed me to swim through the murky sewer of sin. It was terrible, but I learned compassion and to never say never. Once I saw myself as the wretched sinner that I am, grace was all the more sweeter.
ReplyDeleteI never watched Jon & Kate (except for clips I caught on The Soup), but the backlash has been astonishing. I was on cnn.com this morning and saw a headline that read something like "octomom bashes kate." I think this new tabloid culture that has built up over the last few years says some really ugly stuff about humanity. Thank God for grace! We so desperately need it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post John.. so right on the money.. my only thing is I hope and pray for their church to really show some Christ like discipleship (assuming John&Kate still go.. not sure..) and be able to bring Glory upon God's name w/a redeeming of their marriage and family.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I've been frustrated with the backlash from Christians!
ReplyDeleteBRAVO! One of my biggest heartaches about the church is when Christians, and especially those in pastoral or teaching positions, use celebrities as punchlines or mock them from the pulpit/lectern. These people are people too, people that Christ died for, and we're all in the same sinking boat without the love and interception of Christ.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this thoughtful post, and for making me laugh so loud my co-workers thought I had lost it on the "robot" line. Classic.
good post--praying for their marriage and so many others
ReplyDeleteI don't think we get that TV show in Australia...
ReplyDeleteYour post kinda reminds me of a line from a song...
"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair" - Relient K
love serious Wednesdays!
I hope Jon and Kate somehow read this.
ReplyDeleteVery thoughtful post. Few of us could live under a microscope.
ReplyDeleteDead on.
ReplyDeleteEspecially like the way you worked in Boom Boom Pow and the robot. That is skill.
I like that boom boom pow,
them chickens jackin' my style...
I've adopted my life's motto as "There but for the Grace of God, go I". It means exactly that. If it were not for His Grace then I too would ________ (fill in the blanks). I don't know Jon and Kate either but if their foundation is built on the Lord and His Word, it is my hope their reconcile and be restored for His sake and for their children's sake too. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved your first point(not that I didn't enjoy your second, but I really liked the first). I have a hard time remembering that I didn't get what I deserved. That really just made me stop and think about the awesomeness that is our God. I am absolutely in awe.
ReplyDeleteHannah.
AMEN!!! You pretty much already said this, but no one wakes up one day and says, "I think I'll have an affair." GRADUAL is Satan's favorite game with Christians.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the scenarios you mentioned - flirting leading to affairs, a few late work nights leading to not knowing kids, etc. - I think we often minimize what anger, resentment and the refusal to forgive can do. We've recently had a couple of high-profile murders in our area, and the answer to the question, "How could anyone DO that???" is, "Very gradually."
In this case, anyway, the murderer here didn't just wake up one day and decide that killing would be fun...in this case, it was years of anger and unforgiveness building up until this guy had listened to Satan's lies long enough to believe the twisted truth that killing would be the RIGHT thing to do.
And we are kidding ourselves right into Satan's hands if we refuse to believe that any one of us could not find ourselves there if we leave our anger unchecked. I think Jesus knew what he was talking about in Matthew 5!
Jon,
ReplyDeleteThanks for this. It is just the slice of humility that I hate, love and need at the same time.
Didn't mean to sound (in my previous comment) like I'm telling everyone else what to do about THEIR anger. It was a wake-up call to me because I struggle every day with unforgiveness - just hoping I'm not alone! :)
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you for giving me the mental image of satan doing the robot. Do you think he'd be good at it? Like So You Think You Can Dance You're Goin to Vegas! good, or just Center of Attention at the Club good?
ReplyDeleteSecond, I love Sheila's comment. We put famous people on pedestals all the time. Then when they act like human beings, we either villify them or go into denial because we don't want to admit we were "wrong about them."
Jon,
ReplyDeleteThank you.
These were words of grace...I thank God for what He gave you this morning.
Living on endless '2nd chances'.
it saddens me that the church is a place that 'shoots their wounded'. we enjoy offering grace & mercy until someone's really hurting then we don't want to have anything to do with them. so very wrong.
ReplyDeletethanks for your words...
Jon, quit reading my mind.
ReplyDelete"Grace, Grace, God's Grace, Grace that is greater than ALL our sin...."
Amen! What else can I say that you haven't already said. Let's pray for this couple and their young children.
ReplyDeletebeyond excellent!
ReplyDeletePS - great use of the middle finger of grammar...devil, lowercase "d."
Very, very good. I don't think anyone in their right mind could have predicted the paparzzi/tabloid storm surrounding a couple with a bunch of kids from Pennsylvania who have a basic cable t.v. show. Really (and sadly) the results defy logic.
ReplyDeleteI live about 30 minutes from the Roloffs of "Little People Big World" fame. It's laughable to me that paparazzi would follow them all the way out here. And they don't. But give 'em one good scandal and who knows???
It's a sad result of our media driven society.
Well written. And very needed.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit it's so much easier to judge people in the media, because they don't seem quite real.
I'm so glad you wrote this... I definitely needed to read it and reread it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this Jon. I respect you all the more for it.
ReplyDeleteSin is sin is sin. We all do it. We're all at risk of falling and scraping our knees, breaking an arm, or sometimes busting our faces wide open...ouch. And grace picks us up again. And the more we love Jesus and see His grace for US...the more we want to help pick up others from their falls, too.
Pride and Judgement...man, those sins are like the potholes you just don't see until you've flipped your bike and landed on your back. Only then do they become obvious...
P.S. Steph, that cracked me up!
I agree with Sheila about rooting for "Christians" we see in the media. Fact of the matter is, a lot of people use that excuse to follow TV shows that have little artistic merit. I feel bad for them, because marriage is tough enough with no kids much less 8. And the whole "TV crew in my house watching everything I do" thing too. They need some "them" time with no cameras or kids. Why don't they just stop the show and work on their marriage? Oh yeah, $50,000 per episode...
ReplyDeleteJon, your comments on grace are so -- well, grace-filled. And I completely agree. I haven't gotten what I deserved either.
ReplyDeleteYour second point is also spot-on. Reminded me of the verse "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" (1 Cor. 10:12)
Great post!
So good! The divorce rate among parents of higher-order multiples (triplets or more) is 80% without the complications of a reality show. But I wonder how many of the "oh-so-quick-to-judge" gang would have turned down the offer if it were them? So easy to Monday morning quarterback -- much harder to remember how human WE are, and how many mistakes we've made. Why do we always think sin is so far from our own door?
ReplyDeletegreat post.
ReplyDeleteDamn dude. Stop beating me up, you know I bruise easy.
ReplyDeleteSheesh.
peace|dewde
Right on.
ReplyDeleteThe statement, "They got what they deserved." is usually motivated by jealousy.
ReplyDeleteI've been ashamed of the way folks have piled on them. Shouldn't we instead be interceding for them?
Jon = I stop by most days. Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your works, and GOD you're prolific. Keep it up, friend (I'm an Episcopal priest), and I'm all about grace, too...
ReplyDeleteThat's really the only way that us saved by grace should view anyone, whatever the sin or hardship. Thanks for the good word!
ReplyDelete(sulsad - short for the Sultan of Sad, the lesser known cousin of the Sultan of Swing.)
Maybe this will be a confirmation of your writing this blog or maybe you already have that a thousand times over but either way, thank you! This is exactly (well, without the Jon and Kate part) what God was helping me understand in the story of Job this morning, and the perfect (culturally relevant) example of it!
ReplyDeleteI started a study I've been wanting to do on Job and the verse that interested me the most was in chapter 1. The last words say that basically Job did not blame God for it. That changes a little later in the book which is what I love about Job and strongly dislike about everyone who says Job never once doubted or complained...I think they must have read the first 2 chapters and either got discouraged or self-righteous...but keep going and he, with the encouragement of his super awesome friends (or "pitiless friends" as one header in my BIble says) who told him it's what he must have "deserved", begins to loath and pity himself. Which I think is a huge punch in God's face.
Long story...well, long...I don't think we are given the authority to go around telling people what they do and don't deserve. Job was blameless, and only after he lost, completely, his family and everything he owned, and was covered in boils in which he sat around and scratched himself with a piece of clay all day; did he begin to doubt (I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself before that so props to Job!).
It takes far less for most of us to go one step further than Job and curse the heavens and become self-righteous like wondering what we did to deserve old and out-of-town drivers when we face the trials and tribulations of traffic. I'm sure every two seconds God looks down and thinks, "Seriously?? I can show you some real trials and tribulations if you'd like?"
So thank you Jon and agreed...let's not be like Job's pretentious (I just learned this word today so I feel compelled to be "pretentious" and sound smarter than what I really am...but it means to act as though you are something/someone you really are not) friends.
Thanks again! this was a serious blessing!
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteyes, yes, yes!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
"I know me. And I didn't get what I deserved. I got grace." Preach it!
And wow. That says everything that's been swirling around in my head about the whole issue, and something that we can lose sight of. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
ReplyDeleteWatching the show has honestly made me feel so sad. When other high-profile breakups have occurred, I'm amazed at how quick I was to just say, "Well, so goes the way of the world..." With these two, God has honestly broken my heart for the marriages that are on the verge of collapse, I can pray though.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm hopeful other Christians are doing the same for Jon and Kate. They are part of the body of Christ, and we ought to stand in the gap for them and rise to the occasion. What a testimony to God it would be if they made it through this season!
I'm praying for a turn-around in their marriage, for break through in their relationship with each other, and for God to draw both of them closer to Him through this. I'm praying for veils to be lifted from eyes, and for truth to triumph the lies of the world.
Just like I'm praying for marriages of friends around me. And it's been a good reminder that even the very best marriages still require effort and attention to remain that way.
Thank you so much for this post! I am so sick to death of all the chatter about what is or isn't happening in the Gosslein household. I think what people tend to forget is that although this is a "reality TV show" we are only allowed to see what the editors want us to see. More often than not, it's far from actual reality and twisted to be purely entertaining. TLC has done a fantastic job in editing to suck in the warped media who has in turned zeroed in on the very worst possible scenario. As Christian brothers & sisters we should be praying for Jon & Kate and their eight that they will remember God's grace and the committment they made long before TLC came knocking.
ReplyDeleteI admit I nearly rolled my eyes at the words "Jon & Kate plus 8" - I am pretty tired of hearing about it all; however, this was a great post and I appreciate the helpful reminder to keep my thoughts in check. :)
ReplyDeleteGood.
ReplyDeleteI would think that most people that judge J&K + 8 would be mortified if their lives were plastered on television.
I've made mistakes that I don't want anyone to ever know. I can't imagine being in their shoes right now.
They need love and support.
I haven't been a SCL reader for long, but I can say, this post is one of my favorites. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteSandra
Kelly -- Thanks for the reminder to us all that we only see what the producers of "J&K+8" want us to see. And naturally they'll pump up the conflict, because that's better TV.
ReplyDeleteBut of course, for the most part, everyone else only sees what *I* want them to see. God is the only one who can judge me -- and thank Him for grace in that judgment!... And God is the only one who can judge Jon and Kate, or any of us... Something to remember in our own attitudes toward others, including "celebrities."
Loved your point #1 esp., Jon. A good reminder. I always tell my kids, when they complain that something isn't fair, "It's not fair that you have a nice home and two parents who love you and go to good schools and have nice clothes and more than one pair of shoes, or really any shoes at all... do you really want life to be fair?"
Shuts up the complaining every time. As you have done for me today. Tx.
Always awesome. Best thing I have read about Jon and Kate so far. Keep up the awesomeness!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I've been learning a lot about my critical spirit, and trying to remember that love and grace trump everything. I am grateful that my friends via facebook all voiced that they were praying for Jon and Kate after their show aired. I hope they're feeling the prayers!
ReplyDeleteawesome!
ReplyDeleteI had a college prog who once said no one deserves what they get!
ReplyDeleteAnd my mother always said "never say never"
I guess they apply here.
WV quiti--some reality stars would like to quiti sooner than they do.
I guess you all know that should be college prof!!
ReplyDeleteWV nouta--you can tell I nouta proof read
"God loves love." Beautiful. My second favorite sentence, next to "God is love". Thanks, Jon.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I say, "That will never happen to me," I think Old Scratch takes that on as a personal challenge. And does the robot.
ReplyDeleteI thought an affair could never happen to my marriage. I read "how to divorce proof your marriage." My husband was a pastor and I was a nice, loving pastor's wife. Here I am a year since my divorce because my nice pastor husband left me for another woman. It can and does happen to good Christians. I pray for Jon and Kate (even though I am not really with it and everything going on) that they aren't forced down the road I was forced down.
ReplyDeleteooo..thanks for that post. i'm totally guilty of the 'they deserved it' AND 'that would never happen to me.' double whammy. thanks for the reminder :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for not being judgmental. I read another Christian blog that was extremely so and it made me cringe. I liked this blog post so much that I posted it on twitter. twitter.com/dschram
ReplyDeleteAm I gonna be the lone voice that doesn't praise this post to the sky? I know, I know "If you can't say anything good..." But I figure that you want to hear what people think so you can make SCL better.
ReplyDeleteFirst, in today's church culture, with all its family and marriage classes/books/seminars/feature films, I don't know anyone who's saying "That could never happen to me." Partly because half of us (that is, guys) HATE the words always and never (learned that in marriage class). Another reason being that it's usually lesson number 1 at every couples coffee hour. (OK, that's an exxageration, but work with me.)
Along with that I don't think anyone in modern Christianity thinks they're IMMUNE (i.e., never subject to) pop culture's woes. And if you change the statement to "...a lot less likely to experience pop culture's woes.", it becomes TRUE. It's no secret that people who are famous are a much more likely to have family problems.
Not that it's a BAD post. Very well written and I agree that we need to back off J&K.
ooh, I hate being the lone contrarian.
Good good good! Well said and I totally agree. Thanks so much for the reminder- very refreshing post.
ReplyDeleteWhat's so refreshing about this post is its kindness. So much that is said and written about the Gosselins is unkind.
ReplyDeleteAmen and thank you Jon. The venom that has been spewed at Jon & Kate -- especially from "Christians" has made me physically nauseous and extremely sad.
ReplyDeleteI even posted a link to your blog on the Jon & Kate FB site...hoping that some people will stop judging and start praying for people!
SO well said. And I must say, that as I watched J&K+8 last week, your post about "being surprised by divorce" (way back when) kept coming into my head. It really COULD happen to anyone, and we have to take measures to make sure it doesn't. Thanks for writing so well!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, ragged but real.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Jon. You are SO right! Except for God's grace withholding us, we would ALL fall and our marriages would be in shambles! My husband and I will celebrate our 26th anniversary tomorrow, and I'm so grateful for God's working in our marriage. I know that otherwise we would each fall. And we have a good marriage!
ReplyDeleteI am a huge fan of the show and also pray that Jon and Kate make it. It always breaks my heart to see people get divorced. I believe that today’s marriages are being destroyed because husbands and wives just do not understand one another— they grow apart. When my husband and I went through a rocky time, we sought out a good counselor and I began reading books on how to mend relationships like crazy! I still continue to read them to keep things going. My favorite to date is "The Missing Link" by Drs. Richard & Phyllis Arno. It really helped me to understand my husband a lot better. I am always less quick to judge him for things that used to drive me nuts. I only hope that Jon and Kate can do the same.
ReplyDeleteJon, I've read your second point multiple times already...and
ReplyDeleteI've been having the practical planning for the future / how will you fund your endeavors? / you're in la-la land, alexis / what's your fall-back plan...freaking awesome talks with my parents lately...
If you wouldn't have shared that little tid-bit, I'd still be lying in bed, staring at ceiling and turning in my head how easy it would be to just be a nurse and completely ignore all of the crazy ideas God has painted on my heart.
And now I definitely don't want to cop-out.
Just thought you should know...your words contributed to my ability to close my eyes peacefully tonight. thanks brother.
Jon, I am absoLUTEly stealing point #2 for my sermon this weekend. With appropriate credit, of course. Doing a series on temptation. In fact, thru the last three sermons in the series, my folks are going to get to know you much better.
ReplyDeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteThe blog made it into ChristianityToday in a post about the Gosselins.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/juneweb-only/122-11.0.html
'The popular tongue-in-cheek blog Stuff Christians Like listed "Watching Jon and Kate Plus 8" on its list of favored Christian products or activities'
wv- Slitos.
definition: A stale off-brand version of Fritos.
"Did you see the sale that WalMart is having on Slitos? Let's buy 57 bags for $3 and donate them to the church for the orphanage in Mexico"
WOW! So I totally have done this... actually the night before you posted this I was telling a friend how I felt about the show and what is going with them. And I had no problem saying that they had gotten themselves into the mess they were in and then I woke up the next morning and saw your blog and got a good kick in the pants! I am not different than them and I shouldn't think that I am for one minute. We have each made our mistakes and we have been given the same grace... I think that this post no only applies to me personally and Jon and Kate and how we view them BUT it applies to those people that are difficult to love in our lives. God loves us all the same... Are we treating the same way that God treated us?
ReplyDeleteThank you Jon for this post!
As Jesus said in Matt 7:5 to take the plank out of our own eye before we remove the speck from our brother's. It is so easy to judge others when we, ourselves, are sinners. I suppose we try to rank our sins less than those we see around us.
ReplyDeleteGreat take here. I think all marriages contain sin of some kind. It could be selfishness, anger, addiction, an affair, etc. But, I also believe that love covers over a multitude of sins. My marriage is thankful.
ReplyDeleteVery well-written and thought out with a different perspective we haven't seen fleshed out much before.
ReplyDeleteI do have to disagree with the second assumption that we shouldn't say "this could not happen to me."
I have been in similar shoes and had the make the life-changing difficult decision to take the "easy money" way out or the "stand up for God" way.
I choose my faith and God.
We all come to crossroads in our live every day, some more life- altering than others.
But it is up to us to choose.
We look at those like Jon & Kate because the choose wrong (money and child exploitation over family and their children's well-being, health and welfare - I won't argue that point - I firmly believe that is beyond clear - they are being damaged).
However, we have no idea how many hundreds or thousands of others choose a different path - - God and family over fame and money - - for precisely that reason. They made the choice to be humble and trust God and therefore, may not be in the limelight.
So let's be careful about making assumptions about others and the choices they would or would not make.
I know factually and from experience, what I would choose.
And one more thing, to Sheila's post about Zondervan.
I agree wholeheartedly.
And what's more distressing, is that they have since recieved hundreds, if not thousands of emails, phone calls and letters exposing the fraud of what they were publishing and have been pleaded with to stop the exploitation of innocent children.
They have known this information for a very, very, very long time.
This is what the public isn't aware of.
They had the information, they had the resources to check their facts, they had the support of a community, they had the threats of boycotts, etc.
They have turned a blind eye and deaf ear.
One can only assume it is for money.
Again, thank you for yet another take on a very difficult situation.
Whatever our beliefs, the family does need prayer.
But we can't forget most of all about the children.
They do not have much time left for parents to figure things out or networks to come to their senses.
The exploitation needs to stop now, today.
I worry if the martial problems weren't planned. It seems to be perfectly timed to the release of the new series. Like a PR team thought up this idea. I know shows have in the past used these kinda tactics. It would be sad if this was a marketing ploy.
ReplyDeleteThis may be a little off topic...I am a freelance writer and I recently wrote an article about a new version of the Bible that was released. When doing my research it seemed that the only ones who were being judgmental were the Christians, Christians who supposedly believe that "he who is without sin may cast the first stone."
ReplyDeleteAlso, the editor of this new style Bible was not preaching anything that would cause harm. Why is he being judged for attempting to bring more unity to the world?
I may be missing something major here. Please visit my article and inform me if I've been mislead.
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-12667-Milwaukee-Books-Examiner~y2009m6d6-Decide-for-yourself-on-this-magazinestyle-Bible
Awesome post dude. I've been chewing on it for a couple days now. Love that last line you wrote, "God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it." What a great post.
ReplyDeleteExcellent, excellent, excellent post... Here's my rule of thumb - always take the opposite point of view from the tabloids. If they are interested, I am not.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I saw the show a few times and always cringed at how the two treated each other, but remembered that we were there at one time. It's only by the grace of God that we are no longer there.
Excellent, excellent, excellent post... Here's my rule of thumb - always take the opposite point of view from the tabloids. If they are interested, I am not.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I saw the show a few times and always cringed at how the two treated each other, but remembered that we were there at one time. It's only by the grace of God that we are no longer there.
Wow. I stumbled upon your site through a link my youth pastor posted. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteFavorite quote from this, "When we say, "They got what they deserved" we forget that we didn't".
I met a girl who follows celebrities on twitter for the sole reason that when they come across her feed, she prays for them. How awesome is that?
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to point fingers, but when it comes to taking action, we're at a whole new level.
May be the perfect sentence: God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing it!
Who in the world sees a marriage break up and the first words out of their mouth is, "They got what they deserved?" I want to meet these people. I want to meet them and ask if all the terrible things that have happened to them in their lives were something they deserved. I want to meet them and ask if they believe in grace or if they think God only loves because we deserve. Then I want to wrestle them in a jello pit and really teach them a lesson!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!
ReplyDeleteExcellent point. Thank you for sharing.
Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12
I know I need lots of grace!
Rena Gunther
insertgracehere.com
Beautifully said. I hadn't really been able to put my finger on why the judgement folks are placing on them bothers me...it's not as if I am a fan of the show or what I know of them. I think you really hit the nail on the head for me in pointing out how did they get what they deserved when I didn't. Thanks.
ReplyDeletemy cousins and I were discussing sin last week. No sin is any greater than other sin.
ReplyDeleteI am still having problems with this.
I think Jon and Kates problem intensified when Kate became the bread winner two years ago. And Jon stayed home to nurture.
I believe in a wife being submissive to her husband as her husband is submissive to God.
I think there should be a pecking order in the family and when that gets disturbed we go through major struggles.
I think you wrapped it up and tied it together really well. Thanks for the perspective.
ReplyDeleteBooyah.
ReplyDeleteLove it.
Well said. Thanks for sharing that!
ReplyDeleteOne of the best posts I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteperfect- thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for these thoughts. I think we must appreciate the very real pain this family has and will continue to endure. None of us will ever be exempt from that possibility.
ReplyDeleteSo well put. I've thought for a while now that more than anything they need our prayers.
ReplyDeleteVery well put. We love throwing our stones, don't we? Celebrities make particularly easy targets. But if the passing of Farrah Faucet has taught us anything it's this: celebrities are people too. They don't escape the pains that we experience and the turmoil that comes with personal decisions.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note: I really wish they would have dumped the show and worked on their marriage. I would miss them, of course, but these past few episodes have been heartbreaking; watching Jon and Kate, their hurt and the fact that they don't appear on camera together and if they do, they don't usually make eye contact.
Wow. Really excellent post, and just what I've been thinking all along.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and yours.
You are a great writer. God is good.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!
ReplyDeleteMy heart has been breaking for Jon & Kate since I started hearing what was going on. We are so quick to judge -- but we forget that they are humans too and they make mistakes.
I loved your point: Did WE get what we deserved?
This is my first time visiting your site...you are a great writer!