Two weeks ago when my wife and I were walking out of the sanctuary at church, I found myself behind a guy from my old men's group. Although I knew him from the larger portion of the group, 100+ guys, and not the smaller portion (the 6 guys I met with regularly) we used to chat in the halls when I use to attend. But in the last year since I quit, we haven't really talked.
I didn't quit out of anger or any sort of problem. I loved that small group. It was just a long way from my house and I wanted to invest in some relationships with guys in my own community. But he didn't know that. It's hard to read someone's thoughts from the back of his head, especially if they have a tapered haircut, "tapered" being one of those words that has a very elusive definition according to the ladies at the Sports Clips barber shop I go to, but here was what I was thinking when I saw him.
"Oh snap. It's Josh. Hey, why am I saying 'oh snap' all the time these days? That's becoming a problem. That phrase is like some sort of verbal eczema spreading through my internal conversations. I need to keep an eye on that one. But oh snap, there's Josh. I wonder if he thinks I quit small group because I'm backsliding? I bet he thinks that all of the sudden I just stopped doing my quiet time, starting sinning like it was my J.O.B. and dropped out. I guarantee that if he turns his shoulder at a 15 degree angle and sees me, he's going to look and me and think, 'Didn't that guy used to go to my small group and love Jesus? I bet both of those things aren't true anymore.'
Is there a good way out of this? Should I just tap him on the shoulder and find a way to work in a quick story about the new men's group I'm part of right now? Do I have to essentially read him my spiritual resume to let him know I'm still down with the King? What's the most succinct way to establish that I'm still in love with the Lord and walking with Him on a daily basis and not living in the pig pen of life like the Prodigal Son?
Is there a way to quickly say that in a passing conversation in the hall? Maybe I should just yell, "Jesus!" like one of those guys at concerts? Or I could talk about my men's group really loudly to my wife like people at coffee shops talk loudly about all the cool things they're doing because they want you to know how cool they are. Should I do that or just slow my gait down just enough to walk behind him, essentially dragging behind him like a race car who allows someone else to break all the wind resistance?"
Thoughts like that went through my head for 2 seconds and then I made my move. I started walking really slowly, (it was slower than my normal walk but faster than how I do the worm when like Nelly Furtado I get my freak on if that helps you picture the pace I was traveling.) My wife noticed too, and teased me about it later when I revealed the reason for my pitiful pedestrian progress. (Alliteration!)
I didn't want to catch up to him and have to justify the entire last 12 months of my spiritual journey in a single sentence or be forced to scream "Jesus!" in the middle of the toddlers Sunday School area.
Seems pretty reasonable to me.
Am I the only one that feels this way?
You're definitely not the only one who does this. Since I stopped singing in the worship team I have been avoiding the other members like the plague. It's not going well - you can only hide in the washroom so many times before people start suspecting you don't love Jesus and have a bladder problem. I should probably just yell "JESUS!" and be done with it (though yelling "Jesus!" from the restroom may not be a good idea...)
ReplyDeleteI know this vibe. Christians seem to all have this voice in their head that says if this person isnt going to my (whatever type of church group you can name) they've obviously become a filthy heathen sinner. Ignoring the third possibility that they simply decided to go to another group for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteYea I've felt like that before. I'll continue what happens when you meet up with the other person.
ReplyDeleteThe other guy who was a leader in the bible study was very pointed in his questions to me.
"Where you been?"
"Want to come this monday night?"
"Want to teach next month?"
"How's the other bible study going?"
These are the worst questions because they never end without trailing off of some sort.
Jon.....don't worry.....even us old folks want to avoid potential uncomfortableness........
ReplyDeleteand guess what? he was probably speeding up so he wouldn't have to make small talk ....
just wait 'til your book comes out...
I left a church three or four years ago, kind of abruptly. When I moved last summer, it put me within a mile of the place. The thought of seeing a member of the congregation in the grocery store still makes me shudder.
ReplyDeleteI have an "oh, snap" problem as well. I get teased relentlessly, but can't make it stop. Sigh.
Funny post, but also a pet peeve of mine. If you meet with a group semi-regularly, wouldn't it makes sense to tell them you are leaving before you leave? That seems like a relationship-honoring thing to do. It gives you an opportunity to tell them why. It doesn't mean you have to divulge every reason. Once you've done that you can assume they understand when you see them again and can hold your head up high.
ReplyDeleteAnon@ 4:26
ReplyDeleteI think that's a great point. I should have been clearer about the group. This was a men's group with 100-150 people in it. I certainly told the guys in my small group portion (the 7 guys I met with) but the guy I ran into was someone from the large group (150 people) that I knew. So we were friends, but I didn't tell the 150 people about my absence or quitting because despite my belief that I'm pretty fantasically awesome important, there wasn't a chance to announce to the 150 folks that I was leaving.
Thanks for the comment
Jon
Well, if you haven't gone in a while how do you know if the guy in front of you didn't stop going either? What if he did stop and see you? He may have known you were behind him and didn't want to turn around and look into the eyes of someone who might think he was backsliding too. :) LOL!
ReplyDeleteI actually had to have a conversation with some church members letting them know that I do still love Jesus- Very much so (without the yelling.
ReplyDeleteAfter my husband and I got married, we decided to take a few Sundays and visit the church he grew up going to. We went 3 Sundays in a row and on the 4th Sunday I was sick so we stayed home. I received 2 cards in the mail. One from my preacher telling me that we need to stay strong in our church especially in the beginning of our marriage (which I agree with, in fact I believe we should stay strong in church and in Christ everyday), the next card was from another family in the church stating that they were extremely concerned about us backsliding away from our Lord and Saviour and that we owe it to ourselves to get back where we needed to be. I never even thought about needing to tell the church the upcoming reason as to why we wouldn't be there for the next few Sundays. I thought my parents, who also go there, had mentioned we were visiting my husband's church. It's wonderful to have people of the church care so much but to actually take it upon themselves to decide we were backsliding was a bit much. If I had been backsliding, I would have appreciated the motivation to get back where I needed to be but thankfully that wasn't the case.
Hey, it's been a while since I've been here. I joined the TRUE church and left all this worldly dreck behind!! I still love Jesus...but dare I say I'm better at it now than all you lot????
ReplyDeleteOr, I could simply tell the truth...my dropdowm menu got deleted and I just stopped coming here. And I must say, no one called! No one even from the prayer chain/gossip-a-thon called to see how I was doing?? No knock on the door from Pastor Ihatedoingthis to see if I was on my death bed or just catching up on my sports highlights instead of coming to the 9am, 10 am, or 11 am services?? (overflow in the gym).
But then again....I read you everyday on Facebook.
Just the title of this one got me laughing. We left a a church we pretty much loved to plant a church, which was supported by the original church....but still when I run into members of that church I feel this sudden urge to explain everything that's happened in the last 3 years...just in case they missed that WE PLANTED A CHURCH and DIDN'T JUST DECIDE TO BE HEATHENS and by the way it MEETS ON SATURDAY so if you see me mowing my lawn on a Sunday morning I STILL LOVE JESUS!! REALLY! EVEN MORE THAN I USED TO! JESUUUUUUSSSSS!!!
ReplyDeleteI get this kind of angst sometimes. A big help is to remember what an interim pastor said to me once, "You would worry less about what people think of you, if you knew how infrequently they did it."
ReplyDeleteInteresting to read this, because just yesterday my group went over to help paint the new house of a member who formerly attended regularly but hasn't come for months. I really wanted to bust out a mention like "Hey, you are alive! Great!", but I kept a lid on it. Didn't want to go all Confesserati on his tuchis.
ReplyDeletethose conversations have been the bane of my existence the last couple of years ... i left the church my family has attended for 12 years about 3 years ago (the fam still attends there) and have been actively serving in another one ever since. its hilarious to run into people who knew me, but didn't know me very well- they ask me if i'm still in church and what i'm up to. "yeah, i've been at brentwood church for the last three years, yes, i decided to go to grad school (oh, what degree are you getting? 'i'm working on my m.div.' what's that? ' a seminary degree.' oh, so now i want to be a woman pastor?) and yes i still love jesus. i had one person tell me that she prayed for my parents, b/c they must be so hurt that i was so wayward.
ReplyDeletei mean, i left a baptist church for a wesleyan one, i go to seminary so i must be some kind of feminist, and horror of horrors ... i got a tattoo. i must be going to hell.
it cracks me up. and yes, i do want them to know that i am still a growing believer, but i've had to come to realize that at the end of the day, what they think has no bearing on the relationship between me and jesus. its good to know that i'm not the only one who has had this thought!
and i really enjoy reading this every day ... sometimes its just funny, and sometimes it can take me days to process something- but its always a smile. so thanks.
I don't know Jon. Three posts this week about judgmentalism. Tuesday we explored our judgment of others. Wednesday we looked at why that’s not a good idea. Today the topic is our fear of being judged by others. I sense a theme. Judgment week. Perhaps you could have a new theme each week. That way, your next book practically writes itself. Each new theme becomes a new chapter.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I have soooo done that...and, in retrospect, with embarrassing frequency. It's so sad how easily we are ruled by shame and fear of man.
ReplyDeleteJust having moved to a new town, my wife and I are experiencing similar situations. When we visit a new church and make friends/acquaintances, it can be pretty awkward to run in to those same folks a few weeks later---when its obvious that we haven't returned to their church.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. It reminds me of those times I get cornered after church by someone with a twinkle in his eye telling me about his new study/small group/retreat/ encounter group/ holy basket weaving/ spiritual hunting course and asking me to attend.
ReplyDeleteAny version of 'No' is met with a 'You really don't love Jesus any more, did I see you sacrificing a goat last night' expression!
Yes, but if he were to be concerned about your eternal soul, shouldn't he have followed up on you when you went missing?
ReplyDeleteThis was great for me to read. I find myself on the other side of this situation a lot. We attend a fairly large church and a pretty good sized "small" group within the church. So, people come and go from our group regularly as they find the best place to plug in.
ReplyDeleteSo, when I run into people I haven't seen in class for a while, I'm excited and usually make a beeline to them to see how they're doing and catch up.
Most of the time, they get that panicked look as I approach. Now, I know that they're feeling like they'll have to explain where they've been. Or they're trying to judge how loud they should shout, "Jesus!"
in order to avoid any questions!
this is the story of my life...
ReplyDeleteAfter having to leave my last church on not so good terms... now when faced with ppl from that church i feel that they are judging me...
i dunno if they are or if it's just my paranoia...
either way i just feel the need to work into an awkward convo :i am a young adults leader at my new church and I am studying theology ... that's the study of god ya know"
Sorry, I think you could have said hello, smiled, and if he asked why you aren't coming, tell him the truth. He may have been encouraged. He also may have said "Why don't you love Jesus anymore?", but you don't know that. He may have been happy to hear how you are.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I left the church we used to attend for another one and have had this issue, not only with all of the church members we run into - but with my own family, who attend the church - with my OWN PARENTS! I feel like I need to emphasize how good my relationship with God is or how I've been teaching my son different Bible stories and songs, in order for her not to think we're all going to hell and dragging our children there along with us.
ReplyDeleteUGH.
Glad to hear I'm not alone (and to get a few suggestions for how to handle these situations!)
Not really on topic (or is it?), but if I was a new reader catching up with the archives, I would have the distict impression that whenever Jon's not typing blog posts, he's constantly breakdancing. No sleep, no eat, just blog and pop-and-lock all day and all night.
ReplyDeleteThose of us who are introverts (or FIVEs if you're an Enneagrammer) actually do this slow-walking technique all the time, and I mean all the time. Even with people we like. Or are best friends with. Or love. All because we're not in a talking mood. So for me, it's wanting to yell "Hey, let's still be acquaintances/friends/related/married but not actually talk right now."
ReplyDeleteWV: swedge--when a large group of incredibly sweaty people press in so tightly that one cannot move. "I was really enjoying the concert until I found myself swedged by the crowd."
I've had a similar experience as "Deek Dubberly"( see above post) had. We're new to the area, and still looking for a church. We were roped into going to a small group in one church, and we went to the group for a few months while attending that church. We decided their church wasn't a good fit for us, and have started going to another church. Even though we told the small group leader that we weren't sure if we'd be staying at their church, we still felt that awkwardness you describe when we spotted a couple from the group when we were at a restaurant.
ReplyDeleteOn one of the old Third Day CD's, if you happen to have one laying around, there is a part when the "vacuum" starts and someone yells out, "Consuming Fire". It's awesome!
ReplyDeleteTimely... just this past Sunday we "cheated" on our Sunday School class by attending a different class taught by the leader of the small group we joined a few months ago. Sure enough, in the church service afterward, someone from our "real" class made sure to point out what a great class we had missed. I totally felt the need to explain, to prove that we weren't ditching Jesus.
ReplyDeleteIn a cool SCL twist, because we attended this other class, I found the secret bathroom! I seriously didn't think our church had one and I was so wrong. I had a nice chuckle to myself about it.
Love your blog, by the way. I think this is only the second time I've commented here, but I've been reading regularly since I discovered you and have shared your site with others, too.
I know exactly what you mean! I was our Youth Group's drama leader (as if they need someone to lead them in that, lol... but I digress) last year. I'm an accountant and with tax season and being pregnant with our first child, I wasn't really available to do much in the spring. So I thought I'd get back into it in the fall. And now it's been over a year (our son turns 1 in a couple of weeks!), there are t-shirts that I had ordered sitting in the youth minister's office, and I feel like a terrible person.
ReplyDeleteThe question about ones absence in a particular group is usually followed by what I call the Christian Sideways Nod. Let me explain...
ReplyDeleteMe: Hey, Sue! How's it going?
Sue: I'm blessed! (pause & deep breath) I haven't seen you at our group in awhile.
Me: Yea, I've been really busy with all of th...
Sue: (cocks head to one side, squints eyes and nods slowly) You doing OK? (translation: What sin have you done and gotten yourself into lately?)
Me: I'm doing great. Thanks!
Sue: Well, if you need me...(turns to greet another 'sister')
Me: Oh snap! I just got served sideways.
Good post.
ReplyDeleteThe race car thing is called "drafting," like Vietnam.
This happens all the time in the world of college ministry! You can go to a meeting a few times because you wanted to hang out with a friend in another ministry and then you are forever defending your faith is you go back a month later! Best is when I go to a different ministry for the first time (I have a church but I just like to visit others with friends) and I get targeted as the new person who must not know Jesus yet. Haha good times :)
ReplyDeleteNo, when I dropped out of Evangelism Explosion at a huge PCA church, I felt so judged for it. The shame was so silly. But no need to defend myself if Jesus knows the real me, right?
ReplyDeleteOh-em-Gee! That post just cracked me up! I could so picture you doing that. Good times.
ReplyDeleteAnd JennyM! I have missed you!
I don't even have to go to the group to get this feeling. I was recently hired as a Youth Pastor and as the new guy in town, I was invited to EVERY SINGLE SMALL GROUP MINISTRY our church has! I declined all of them on the basis that I am still settling in and don't know what my schedule's going to look like...but still, when I come across the leaders of the small groups...I still feel a little like, "I hope they think i'm still christians...i mean i AM employed by the church...couldn't that be sign number one? JESUS!!!!" but then i also end up slow-walking to avoid akwardness.
ReplyDeleteWV: Tesupwq - The name of a small rural town in Iowa that was originally going to be called Tessmenton named after the International Underwater Basket Weaving Champion, Ron "Wet Willy" Tessmenton. But when the new mayor was going to announce the town name...sneezed halfway through, "And the name of our beloved town is...Tes*UPWQ*!" and the town replied, "Bless You!"
No, you're not the only one who thinks like this. But the thing that drives me nuts is the performance based churches that seem to have become the norm in Christianity. That you have to "prove" you're doing something for Jesus. What if what I "do" for Jesus is completely anonymous, like giving very large amounts of money to people in need? Should I yell that out, too?
ReplyDeleteI'm not getting on you - lol. I grew up in a branch of Christianity that was all about the show of what you did. I'm obviously still dealing with some issues here.
"ferte" Almost good enough to be fertilizer.
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. When I get trapped talking to the leader of that meeting that I just haven't quite been able to make for the last 6 months (due to my sitting on the couch), I use the subtle approach. I usually mention how I've really been praying about something or that I just read a verse of Scripture that really inspired me. Kinda to let them know that I'm still in good with the Lord. Thanks for pointing this out so I can stop.
ReplyDelete1. Oh Snap.... = Christian Cussing
ReplyDelete2. I'm sure he reads this blog and realizes that you did not leave as much as you were outcast by your small group for the heresy of your ways...
3. We still love you, even though we don't read your blog every day as soon as it posts...
4. God probably still loves you, too & may have a wonderful plan for your life
WV: dipers - the stage of life we are in with a 21 month old
I used to play the keyboard for our church's praise band. I quit because I had to move and didn't have enough room for my piano so I couldn't practice. Plus, they practiced during Sunday School and I didn't want to miss that.
ReplyDeleteNow, anytime I come near this one elderly couple, they ask (well, the husband does) why I'm not playing the keyboard. Or they say, "We sure would like to see you up there." They just don't understand that the reason I quit was because I wanted to deepen my relationship with Christ...not b/e I'm a pitiful excuse for a Christian. I felt that doing the music wasn't necessarily my calling. AND, now I'm teaching Sunday School to high school girls. But, people just don't get that. So, now I'm afraid to even do special music for fear that everyone will start up again, hounding me to play.
Just read all of the other comments....
ReplyDelete@ BETH - yeah...
Note to Nursery committee:
"sorry we haven't been pulling our weight in the nursery lately... It is just sooooo hard to get to church on a regular basis since we became church sponsored missionaries to Uganda.
We are so sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you in your finely tuned system of ministry management.
We will be visiting the church again in 16 months while we are home to support raise, perhaps you could coordinate the schedule so that instead of speaking to the congregation we could serve the toddlers."
I'm a firm believer in a good defense is a good offense or ..something like that..you know ask him how he and Jesus are BEFORE he can even had a good thot!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a big problem for me when I see people that go to the church that I used to go to. When people graduate high school, and "graduate" from the youth group (and mostly go off to college unless you're staying at home with your parents), most don't come back to church except for a few weekends out of the year. The problem is, how do you let the people in the church know that you haven't turned into a partying alcoholic since you've gone off to college, and that you still love Jesus? I'm still trying to figure it out, and I'll be a junior in college this fall.
ReplyDeleteTrue post! In our church, I've personally noticed that people are overworked or the expectations are to high.
ReplyDeleteI have had, in all seriousness, a pastor come up to me and say, "Holly, you're doing too much. I don't want you to burn out. Can you teach this Sunday School class too?"
WHAT????? Are you serious? I just LOOKED at him.
I've seen people make the choice to take some of their life back, that church was not the ultimate, and get judged/their state of Christianity for that.
That's not a bad thing ... there's a balance. There's a point where you do have to make a choice. If people work too much, they lose their family. The same thing can happen with the church, but people have an easier time justifying that, because they think that just because it's for God, everything's just fine and dandy.
News flash: NOT.
Yes. I know the feeling. I want to run through the church, with the Christian flag, yelling ILOVEJESUSILOVEJESUSILOVEJESUS.
You're not the only one.
Not alone on this one...Within the last year, our family stopped attending a Bible class that we had been part of for 2 years (tons of personal reasons...none of which pertain to our relationship with JC), we started going to a new Bible class and also a new small group. With in the last 6 months, we stopped going to this particular church, not church as a whole. It is obvious that many people have taken offense to our "change" because lots of people we once considered "friends" suddenly stopped talking to us. Interesting how people show their true colors when you aren't part of their click anymore.
ReplyDeleteI do indeed have that same thought. I won't slow my pace though. I'll stop walking entirely to "tie my shoe" or I'll all of sudden be interested in what is in the bulletin. I also get a very similiar response when I realize I left my tithe at home or it's on a week when I didn't get paid and have no money when the plate passes by. I try to pass it like hot potato, but I imagine the wiser elders around me saying, "That boy is greedy." I haven't determined if that's true, but I do want to yell "I still love Jesus!" Hopefully I didn't turn that into a get out of jail free card. Ummm I still love Him.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that left her church and joined a home group that met on Saturday nights instead of Sunday mornings. So she always made sure to wear a T-shirt with a Christian slogan on it whenever she was anywhere on a Sunday. Haha. =D
ReplyDeleteAs a small group leader, and therefore very spiritual person, I see this from the other side. I got a call from a young man informing me that he would not be attending our small group, then a text from another small group leader asking me why my guy was asking about joining his group.
ReplyDeleteAs I spoke to him again on the phone, each word he said made me want to punch him in the eye, and he is a stutterer, so some of those words might have gotten two or three punches. It's hard to keep count.
Jeffrey - I totally get that tithe issue.
ReplyDeleteI'll give in the morning, and then pass the bag on in the evening, utterly convinced that everyone around me is silently judging away. Clearly I just need to get over myself (or they need to start giving out 'I tithed this morning' stickers).
My two comments:
ReplyDeleteFirst My husband I recently stopped attending the church where we met to go to the church he grew up in. When we went back to visit and to say hi to the Pastor( who married us) he hugged us and asked how we're doing. No pressure, no stress nothing. Before we left he smiled and said if you ever need me I'm here for you.
To me that is more Christian then "where have you been?"
Second, I avoid all of that drama by not joining a small group/Sunday School class all together. The husband and I still get brownie points that because of the 4 kids who grew up with the church( my father in law works there) we're the only one' who attend Sunday services.
I'm the pastor's wife of our mall church in our small town and I find myself on the opposite side of the conversation. Whenever I run into someone who may have missed a recent service (or haven't been in ages)the conversation goes something like this:
ReplyDelete"Hi, how are you?"
"Well, things have been pretty busy lately. That's why I haven't been at church..."
"You're right, things do get busy. How are your kids?"
"They're doing fine now, but the other day I was planning to come to church, but one of them wasn't feeling too good."
"Well, I'm glad I ran into you today."
"Yes, we'll see you at church Sunday, we know we need to be in church."
I didn't ask, sometimes I didn't even know they missed...( =
Liz- 1st comment- I cried laughing-
ReplyDeleteThe Great Faith defense.
I hate it.
After being away a few years at university, I was visiting the church I had been in the last 18 years before that, but no one seemed to know me now. So when I got a prayer burden for the state of the church and was crying kinda hard towards the end of the service, people thought I was an unsaved friend my mom brought to visit and was under conviction of sin. I was approched and all these people were trying to get me to say a prayer of salvation. My mom was all, "It's oookaayyy....no really, she's good... she's already a worship leader!" and then they're all WOW, a WORship leader who realized she wasn't yet saved!!! WOW...
no.
And giving your Christian credentials?? How cheap and wrong does that feel??? *sigh*
and to counteract your laser attraction to negative comments, here's one to pile on the millions of good ones- THIS IS THE BEST SITE EVER! (I would jump up and down to show you my enthusiasm, but that wouldn't really help in this medium - just freak out my husband) I love it the best, I use it instead of prozac. And though laughter is reportedly the best medicine, challenging me to higher faith- which I feel this does, by helping me to face the fascade of Churchianity behind which I might hide, to cut off the hoopla and be an organic Christ-modelled believer, a true follower in the often painful and honest footsteps of The King-
THAT has real eternal value, my friend!!!
For this, I thank you!
(why did I imagine that last line being read with a Spanish accent???)
I could not stop laughing at this post. I love the ramblings. I personally think you should have just yelled "JESUS!" while you were walking down the hall - then the guy and every other person there would really know you are "down with the King."
ReplyDeleteAlso, I was literally just thinking this today because I switched community groups and had someone ask me where I was Monday night when my old one met. I didn't yell "JESUS!" at him though. If only I had read this post before I had that conversation...ah regret.
dude, definitely felt like that all this last year at college. i stopped going to a christian group on campus and started going to another church and not only did some of my friends from that group stop talking to me but a few of my closer friends took me aside and actually "talked" with me about how i was no longer following God. kinda frustrating especially when i had just gotten to the point that i felt like i was truly following God for once
ReplyDeleteOk I can relate to this from the past
ReplyDeleteI have to say though that I am a little different now ... I tend to make an effort to catch up with the lost contact and ask them how they are doing... this has not always been my style, but I am learning how to throw off guilt and walk in truth. The funny thing is that surprisingly few people actually have those accusing "backsliding thoughts"about you in the back of their mind ... remember their life is probably just as messed up as yours is!
Definitely made me grin!
Incidentally, is there a post on burnout in churches yet? I did a search over the site, but didn't find one (which doesn't mean there isn't one...my skills might be lacking).
ReplyDeleteIt's an issue at my church at the moment. We lost two paid staff members recently and I'm starting to see the big red "BURNOUT ALERT" sign over the heads of those people picking up the slack.
Why do we church-goers have to work outselves into the ground? I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be this hard...
I can also identify with this post. When I decided to go to a church plant instead of the original church, I find the urge to explain myself to people who go to the parent church, adding that there's nothing wrong with their church. And I don't really want to yell "Jesus" because that's not my style, but maybe start singing a worship song. "Savior, you can move the mountains..."
ReplyDeleteArg, and it's "He can move the mountains", not "you can move the mountains". That would be evidence that I am a heathen, huh?
ReplyDeleteSo I used to be super involved in my church and am not anymore for various reasons. I sometimes feared that those who didn't see me anymore thought I had run off and pulled a prodigal on them. But I now realize that if they really have come to that conclusion and chosen not to reach out to me to see if everything is okay, they have a much larger issue to deal with. I'm also learning that people don't think about me nearly as much as I think about myself.
ReplyDeleteDude... been there, done that...
ReplyDeleteI used to work (as in paid staff member) for a church that we had to leave.
A while later, we were invited by a family from that church to a special dinner at their grandparents' church.
It turned out that they had heard that we were on the brink of divorce and were reaching out to us to see if everything was ok.
Now, when I see folks from that church, it is *so* socially awkward...