#621. The Popcorn Collision

(Although I personally might hold the East Coast record for popcorn collisions, I've never been able to accurately describe what happens when two people have a prayer pile up. So when Lisa Colon DeLay, a very talented writer, agreed to guest post on that very topic I did cartwheels. I’m a big fan of her writing and I think you will be too. Here is her first and hopefully not last guest post on Stuff Christians Like. Enjoy.)

The Popcorn Collision
In true SCL style, I’ll mention an awkward event I’ve witnessed just too many times to go unsaid. Perhaps suggestions from this readership would be helpful to un-riddle this conundrum. I’ll refer to it as “The Popcorn Collision.”

The Popcorn Collision phenomenon happens within prayer circles, and can make folks pretty stinking nervous. Eyes will pop wide open and dart around the room, mid-prayer time–which most Christians realize is sinful. Prayer circle participants start wondering why the Holy Spirit has left the building, or why someone has not yielded properly to God. Something has gone quite wrong, and how it will end completely depends on what prayers decide to do next. The situation itself occurs when a gathered group is engaged in “Popcorn Prayer.” That is, short sentence prayers offered up in no particular order. The situation is obviously risky in itself, but in efforts to be Spirit-led, some Christians enjoy this spontaneous participation with God and each other, despite the dangers.

Suddenly, as if God is not a God of order, two people begin to talk to God at the same time. It’s as if chaos has entered through a window, and pounced. Shocked, both communicators stop simultaneously–more awkward still! They look at each other nervously. Someone has to be in the wrong, and everyone knows it. Perhaps one of them is not following the Holy Spirit’s leading. Now, which one is too eager, or jumping the gun, maybe trying to cover the dead air of prayer time up a bit? Maybe one, or–God forbid–even both of them are just trying to move prayer time along, without being prayerful. Suddenly, people sense the awkwardness in an acute fashion. A giggle or two erupts. Smirks crop up around the once virtuous circle. Maybe some shake their heads in disapproval.

Whatever happens, it becomes painfully obvious, in seconds that may feel like hours, that a Popcorn Collision has happened, and there is no taking it back. But now, what is to be done? Will prayer time be a flop? Is recovery possible? Sometimes, overcompensating creates the most horrible and ungodly of circumstances. It’s the thing the prayers may be dreading in the back of their spiritual minds. Yes, a second Popcorn Collision. It is the prayer equivalent to cornered bumper cars. Both prayers keep speaking at the same time, all the while convincing everyone in the room they aren’t listening to God’s still small voice at all! Some giggle, but some realize it’s all a cover up job.

The Aftermath
Sometimes, there is what I call a quick-thinking, wise Deferring Popper. He or she may realize it’s better to yield, and in some way say, “You go ahead, buddy,” and let the other person re-pop. Other times, a person I call a Super Kernel figures boldness will advance his or her pop-ability. He or she stops during the collision, but only at first. Then, they push forward to pop a prayer in a raised tone of voice, even confidence, which helps to assert kernel popping viability. The other person backs down, de-pops. Some realize this isn’t a movement of God, but only an extrovert running amuck. Others feel relieved that some order has been restored, no matter how it happened.

Woe to the groups who must witness the Double Super Kernel Showdown. I won’t discuss it here, but perhaps you can imagine the Prayer Popout Battle that could be in this case. The converse is, of course, Double Defer, and it is an extra awkward situation. It occurs far more frequently, probably because this action may be thought to contain more fruit of the Spirit. In Double Defer case, both prayers de-pop at the same time, and then re-pop again together. This may happen several times. Blushing ensues, and nervous laughter.

Failure to pop seems imminent, which puts out an air of unease, or even dread in the room, especially if a collision happens more than twice. Usually, almost by default, someone half-pops out a choppy prayer of some kind to avert having a dud incident. No one, I repeat, no one, wants a full out prayer dud in a prayer circle. It’s like a negating un-prayer, even an “anti-prayer,” for the group, and on some level everyone knows it. People would just an soon sneeze into their Bible, then want to live with a full out prayer dud imploding in their midst, without first trying to make a save.

Remedies for Popcorn Collisions
There are several schools of thought on the best way to avoid this kind of prayer mishap. Some say, establish ground rules, such as five to twenty seconds between prayers, plus a prayer opener and a prayer closer. Some say, some type of signal before prayers should be done. A deep breath before offering a prayer will curb interlopers and collisions, at the onset, but God help your group if you have asthmatics! Legend has it that one boy with bronchitis caused four Popcorn Collisions in just fifteen minutes, the poor lad. They called him “The Breather” for over eight months.

Others think that God can use us, even in our flawed humanness, and that these collisions aren’t really mistakes at all. We aren’t supposed to be perfect, just faithful. These people could be seen as indolent and unspiritual, and most end up listening to and enjoying secular music. But that’s not all that’s wrong with me. Have you witnessed Popcorn Collisions? Did I leave something out? What are your solution suggestions, or prayer ideas? Weigh in. Thanks, Jon! God Bless.

For more great stuff from Lisa Colón DeLay, check out her blog lifeasprayer.wordpress.com