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Friday, July 11, 2008

Part 2 - The Super Hero Guide to Famous Pastors

When I sat down to write the follow up to the first super hero post, I was surprised at how many pastors there are that deserve to be inducted into the Stuff Christians Like Famous Pastor Super Hero Hall of Fame, or SCLFPSHHOF.

And I don't want these entries to run on for miles and miles of text. So today, I thought it would be good to induct six more people.

(Please note: I never said these were comic book heroes. I said super heroes. And some are not technically pastors, but they are still famous Christians that deserve to be compared to Wonder Woman and what not.)

Erwin McManus = Wolverine
I don't know Erwin. I did write him a long, "I think you're amazing" email once, but his ninja like secretary was able to kung fu block it. Well played madam. Well played indeed. But despite no personal connection with McManus I feel pretty confident with comparing him to Wolverine. Just look at the cover of that book, "The Barbarian Way." Can't you see him whipping out some claws and cutting some fools up? And he's not afraid to jump into a battle. When a speaker before him at a conference said that we should be careful about innovation because the people that eat the mushrooms first often die, Erwin scrapped his entire planned script for his presentation and basically said, "Call me a mushroom eater." That is a bad man right there. That is Wolverine.

Joyce Meyer = Jean Gray of the X-Men
In the X-Men movies, Jean Gray eventually becomes her alter ego character, the Phoenix, a woman of immense power and fury. That was why I picked Joyce Meyer. On her book covers, she looks like a nice, smiling lady. Happy, peaceful, la la la. But when she gets on an issue, one that she is passionate about, she mutates into this powerful force with words that are capable of knocking down buildings and false belief systems. I realize the Phoenix tried to destroy the world and that I am aware of, Meyer has not attempted a similar move. But I think, despite her detractors, she does try to destroy old thought patterns and I really liked her forcefulness in the book "Approval Addiction." So for me, Meyer is Jean Gray.

John Piper = Daredevil
You will not be struck with fear when you see John Piper the first time. He's a mild mannered looking fellow that one could think is an accountant or project manager for a small software firm. The same goes with Daredevil. Despite that miserable movie, he's one of my favorite super heroes. I have about 250 of his comics in my garage. (Remember, I did not date in high school much.) And one thing they used to always do is have random street thugs try to attack Matthew Murdock when he was not dressed up like Daredevil. You see, he's blind and looks like an easy target. But beware, he will break you down. Same goes with Piper. The chokehold he puts on prosperity ministry was impressive. Check it out:



Tim Keller = Professor X
Professor X is the mastermind of the X-Men. He is the brain behind the whole outfit and his known for his intelligence. I look at Keller the same way. He loves an intellectual challenge. He's constantly wrestling tough issues and wasn't afraid to take on Manhattan. And the world is noticing. The New York Times said, "he hardly shrinks from difficult Christian truths, [but] he sounds different from many of the shrill evangelical voices in the public sphere." That is what I liked about Professor X. He never seemed to get that out of control excitement that heroes like the Thing struggle with or. He was calm, cool and ready to throw down if that's what it took. Same with Keller.

Bill Hybels = Hannibal from the A-Team
I know this might bend the rules of the post a little, but at the end of the day, it's a completely silly post that can't be held to rules. (Besides, shouldn't we be arguing about tattoos?) Hannibal is the cool headed, cigar smoking, always in charge leader of the A-Team. He was the man in control. He made the plans, changed the game and was not afraid to blow everything up if that's what the mission took. I think Hybels is similar. Can't you see him doing that Bono interview, with a cigar in hand, and all the sudden saying: "Oh yeah, I hear ya Bono. One time me, Ortberg and Piper, or the 'P-Dog' if you will, were locked into a warehouse at a book signing event. I built a bomb out of a toothpick and a piece of gum. Good times." Plus, Hybels is willing to blow everything up if it's not working. Here's what he said about Willow Creek, "Some of the stuff that we have put millions of dollars into thinking it would really help our people grow and develop spiritually, when the data actually came back, it wasn’t helping people that much." Wow, that is some A-Team action right there.

Louie Giglio = the Green Lantern
You wanted me to call Louie Robin, because he came up in the game with Andy Stanley. But Robin is a sidekick and Louie is a lot more than that. The impact of his Passion Conferences is immeasurable and he's touched a lot of lives in his own unique way. That's why, to me, Louie is the Green Lantern. According to Wikipedia, the Green Lantern possesses a ring that gives him control of the entire physical world, depending on the strength of his will. The stronger his drive, the stronger his powers. Louie is like that too. His desire to rock our misconceptions about God is amazing. If you see him speak you can't deny the burning desire and passion that overflows in his messages. And I could see him saying the Green Lantern's catch phrase, For the dark things cannot stand the light, The light of the Green Lantern!" Plus, the Green Lantern was all about some outer space action and Louie did a whole series on space called "Indescribable." And the Green Lantern had a hip outfit and Louie is a hip dresser. And the Green Lantern has dolphin mind control, which Louie also has, so there's that. On top of it all, Louie is starting his own church in Atlanta. There are roughly 99 million churches in Atlanta and to start one now shows Louie's Green Lantern like will to do God's work. (Louie, if you're reading this I live five minute from your office. If you haven't staffed the "Director of Sarcasm" at your new church, please let me know.)

I promise, I will eventually stop writing about super hero pastors. But I have to cover Francis Chan, James Dobson, Bryan McLaren and a few others before I retire.

30 comments:

  1. So great!

    But I think we need one of the talented bulletin bored winners to sketch mock-ups of these people in their 'super suits'.

    Sometimes I just need a visual.

    Ya know?

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  2. I was wondering when you'd get to Francis. He's my pastor, waiting on pins and needles to hear what you'll say about him. LOL

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  3. Jon Piper rocks because of that one video.

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  4. That John Piper video made my day. I used to pick on him for standing at the podium with one hand on each side while he teaches. That's probably just his way of restraining his super powers.

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  5. Ooooooooh, John Piper said "crap" on his video.

    Sorry, couldn't resist. I really loved what he had to say. Thanks for posting that.

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  6. Thanks for including Louie Giglio. That guy rocks my face off and deserves all the props he can get.

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  7. ya hit the proverbial nail on its proverbial head

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  8. I agree with juliemom! We need visuals!!! And the fact that you used Hannibal from A-Team really made my day. Now, who's Mr. T? Have you already done T.D. Jakes? I can't remember...haha.

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  9. I love that youtube video from John Piper. I completely agree with him, it is scary how enthusiastically American Christians have grabbed onto this prosperity gospel. I am happy to know that you don't agree with it.

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  10. i agree w/ needing visuals. i'm particularly inept @ visualizing all the famous/ influential super-christians out there. they tend to blur.
    and my new aside, to interject into any conversation getting too heated or too boring, will now and forever be " and besides, shouldn't we be arguing about tattoos?"
    perfect.

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  11. this is just awesome and surprisingly better than Part 1!
    and i totally agree with juliemom - visuals by the bulletin bored winners!

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  12. Hey! I just discovered your blog today and I find it to be absolutely hilarious. I've spent the past 3 hours reading your post. I just read the "Satan On Notice" one and I noticed the Harry Potter reference. I used to be a big fan of Harry Potter but I always hated how Christians were against it saying it was of the devil. Now I know the bible says that magic is wrong but if people are going to say Harry Potter is wrong then should'nt Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and pretty much every other Disney story be wrong? Those have fairy godmothers with wands who perform magic so that should be wrong if Harry Potter is. I was hoping maybe you could do a post and tell us your opinion on this topic. Thanx. Once again you are fantastic.

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  13. Erwin McManus as Wolverine! That's hilarious! Great image.

    Pax

    J

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  14. Dang. Professor X is taken.
    So what superhero is C.S.Lewis?

    I submit 'Master Po' from Kung-Fu.

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  15. Haha,

    Interesting that you placed Joyce Meyer and Piper's Prosperity Gospel video in the same post.

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  16. I thought that John Piper video was amazing. Prepare for the fall-out from the same pro-prosperity gosepelers that lashed out at post #302.

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  17. Very well done. Thanks for extending the original post!

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  18. I do know Erwin and you picked a perfect super hero for him. If fact I will get that post to him. well done.

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  19. Joyce Meyer = Jean Gray? Seriously?!

    She-Hulk, Surely?

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  20. Jon, if you do a remix on these, could you post the picture of person next to a picture of the super hero? Or maybe add this as a section to the SCL dictionary?

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  21. could Louie also be Nightwing, the former Robin that came up as a side kick, but is now doing quite well as a hero themself?

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  22. I absolutely LOVE that video from John Piper! I've been reading your stuff since February and I love it! thanks.

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  23. Awesome as usual. The SCLSHGtFP posts are my two favorite blogs on here.

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  24. You hit up wikipedia for the Green Lantern, but then you pick the Alan Scott oath? The other one is so much cooler.

    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might
    Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!

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  25. John Piper is bad ass. Sorry if that offends anyone, but I feel like that is the proper adjective to describe him.

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  26. That Piper video gets me every time. Have you ever seen www.1031sermonjams.com? That video may be a product of theirs. They take snippets of sermons from the likes of Piper, Driscoll, Harris, etc. and mix them with music. Sounds cheesy, but they are powerful.

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  27. As if I didn't already love you (in a side-hug sort of way, as you and I are both happily married. Uh, to other people.) for confessing in front of your readers that the Patriots are God's team, here you throw in a reference to the A-Team. Yep - time to bump you up another notch on the links section of my blog.

    Although, you did disappoint in that despite writing an entire paragraph about Hannibal (Bill Hybels who?), you did not once manage to work in his trademark line, "I love it when a plan comes together." Or any reference to Murdock. Which makes me sad.

    In fact, by not mentioning any of the other members of the A-Team, you could just replace everywhere that you said "Hannibal" with "MacGyver". Who I also tend to think of as a superhero.

    And finally, since I seem to have a strange desire to tell you useless little facts about my life in these comments despite there being no real reason to do so, I will tell you that my brothers and I used to play pretend that we were the A-Team. My older brother, Aaron, was Hannibal, because he is the bossiest person ever, and he wanted to be in charge. I was Face, because he was cute and I never went through the "boys have cooties" stage. My younger brother Nathan (who has been taller than me since I was 13) was Murdock, because he was nuts. Not really (well, maybe a little), but bossy Hannibal and I outvoted him. My youngest brother Seth was quite a bit younger than we were, but weirdly always had an obsession with Mr. T. I distinctly remember him naming a balloon (yeah, I don't know. We were weird kids.) "B.A.". So he was B.A., despite being the weakest and smallest of all of us.

    So yes, I had 3 brothers and no sisters. Hence the playing A-Team instead of, say, Rainbow Brite. Good times.

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  28. I'm a little late getting in on this, but I remember that one time Chuck Swindoll put out a humorous poster of himself in a leather jacket on a motorcycle and wearing sunglasses, dubbed the Sermonator. After the alter ego of his present governor.

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  29. Also a little late to this, but where does Green Lantern ever command sea life? Isn't that Aquaman?

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