A little while ago, I started compiling the official Stuff Christians Like dictionary. I found that new readers needed to know that on SCL, giving someone a "Leg Drop for the Lord" was actually a sign of love and fellowship. So every Friday, I plan on adding a few. Here are this week's four new entries:
God Flavor
Origin:
Putting a God Spin on Popular Secular Ideas.
Definition:
God Flavor is what you sprinkle on popular secular songs or ideas when you want to make them feel Christian. Want to hear some U2 on Christian radio? Sprinkle a little God Flavor on the songs and have a Christian band cover it. Like the Got Milk campaign but wish it was about sweet baby Jesus? A dash of God Flavor and you'll be all set. Got Jesus, Got Destiny, Got God, Got Faith, here we come.
Example:
"With the right amount of God Flavor I think we could do a skit based on the television show, 'The Office. '"
Purple Rain
Origin:
Highly Specialized Bibles.
Definition:
This is the name of the Bible I will release if I publish a book and become a Christian Thousandaire. It will be wrapped in rich, purple velvet and feature an illustrated version of the Song of Solomon.
Example:
"I got a copy of the new Purple Rain bible from Stuff Christians Like. I heard that guy Jon has a Bentley. Just kidding, he has a moped."
Skittle Throw
Origin:
The "everyone is on vacation, anything goes," church service.
Definition:
A Skittle Throw is a subtle technique to keep an audience that is attending church the day before a holiday on point. You basically just hit members of the congregation in the side of the head with skittles. The specific flavor does matter although original is preferred. This is a classic move to pull on July 3 in the United States for instance.
Example
"A pastor named Chris did a Skittle Throw right before Memorial Day and became an SCL legend."
Verbal Canary
Origin:
Saying "I was just flipping channels" when you watch something you shouldn't.
Definition:
In olden days, miners would keep a canary in the mine shaft with them. If the bird died, they knew the air quality was not good. A verbal canary is where you casually throw out an idea to see if anyone else agrees with you. For instance, you say, "Have you seen that show 'Family Guy?'" If someone responds by saying, "Yeah, I love it," you say, "me too!" If they say, "I hate that show," you say, "I hate it too, it's so profane."
Example:
"I threw out a verbal canary and she killed it. I swear, she killed it instantly. So I guess we won't be going to the Lil' Wayne concert."
You know I'm going to use the "verbal canary". I may even pretend that I made it up myself... ;)
ReplyDeletecan't wait for the next edition!!
ReplyDeleteWow. An illustrated version of Song of Solomon? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... I think I'll just stick to the words.....and not own a very pornographic purple bible. I'm almost 100% positive that any Sunday school teacher who tries to use that version in their lesson will be excommunicated, even though we don't really do that anymore since Luther came around.
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact that someone pulled a verbal canary on me the other day and I was just about to call him out on it and i realized... oh wait he's Italian, how do you explain verbal canary in Italian?
ReplyDeleteSomeone please think of the canarys... :(
ReplyDeleteOf course, if you set out the verbal canary and it gets blocked with another canary "Yeah, I saw it, what did you think?"
Canary death-match
Great additional to SCL, can't wait to read the next one in line. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteyeah, i found myself in a verbal canary with a friend yesterday. it was more like a verbal cockatoo because cockatoos dance to music and we were definitely dancing around the issue in question.
ReplyDeletei was going to get my hair cut. my friend and i were talking about what i could do if my long curly hair turned into short curly hair. she mentioned sarah jessica parker . . . pause . . . 'not that i watch her show,' she said . . . continuing on.
then i threw down a verbal cockatoo breakdance maneuver. 'yeah, i was just looking at a picture of sarah jessica parker this morning, actually. it was about her movie sex and the city. it was a picture in a magazine, focused on her fashion style in that movie' . . . pause . . . acting like i only cared about the picture for the fashion depiction and cute hair, not because i secretly went and saw the movie on the day that it came out. :)
"Canary Death Match".
ReplyDeleteLOL - this site is awesome. Even the comments are funny!
Now canary-death match needs to be added, thanks to Eric. That was fantastic.
ReplyDeletedid you ever define Christian Thousandare?
ReplyDeleteGod flavor:
ReplyDeleteThe Embassy
Student Church in Waterloo, ON, Can already God-flavored the Office last summer.
My youth group did a spoof of the ofiice. 4 actually with more being planned. They're all on you tube. Search walnut hill office. You won't regret it.
ReplyDeleteCanary death-match: definitely a new addition to my vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I actually like the term "God Sauce" better than "God Flavor" so maybe those should be synonyms?
I totally just advised one of my friends to use a verbal canary in a difficult conversation she's going to have to have. This wasn't used in the strictest SCL sense of the term, but I still gave you credit.
ReplyDeleteThought you should know in case you get royalties or something.
Oh my gosh. My college fellowship did an end-of-the-year God flavor video...
ReplyDelete...of the Office.
Charllotte...I realize this is a year after the fact and you will probably never see this, but was your college fellowship at A&M in College Station? Because ours did that at the end of the '08 school year and I laughing so hard I went into silent-laugh-tears-streaming-down-face-can't-breathe mode. If so...whoop for it being a small world!
ReplyDelete