He's not physically scary. I mean he's kind of a brawny, weight lifting type of guy, much like myself if you've seen the video from Cross Point. And he has a breakdancing ministry in inner city Atlanta so clearly it's not a pop n' lock issue. It's just that he tends to ask tough questions. He tends to say things that make me uncomfortable. And that's exactly what he did at Willy's a few weeks ago.
We went there for a burrito because unlike Chipotle they don't charge you for chips. (At this point in the history of burrito consumption, I feel like charging extra money for chips is like a restaurant asking you to pay for the use of a fork. Boggles the mind really.) During lunch I was telling him that I felt like I had hit a spiritual wall. I was stuck. There wasn't any one thing I could point my finger at, some neon issue I had jumped back into with both feet, but for some reason I just seemed off kilter.
After hearing me ramble for what probably felt like 19 years, Nathan asked me simply,
"Where is all this stuff going? Your quiet time, your study, your reading, your Bible work? Where is the outward expression of your faith? Who are you serving right now?"
Ahh come on. I don't want tough questions. I want easy friendships where I show up and you show up and we tell each other how awesome we are. "You're a fantastic Christian!" "No, you're a fantastic Christian!" I don't like questions like that.
But as I thought about what he asked, I was confronted with the reality that I really only want to follow the first and greatest commandment. Are you familiar with that one? In Matthew 22:37-38 a guy named Jesus says, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment."
I am down with that verse. When I read it, I think to myself, "Yes, that is what I am talking about! I will focus inward and learn to love the Lord with all my heart and my soul and my mind. This is fantastic. I can twist this into some sort of God-flavored self improvement course. This will be like a Biblically based version of that productivity book I'm reading right now, 'Getting Things Done.' I'll find a quiet spot, cocoon myself in self effort and just go to town growing my faith in a little greenhouse of me."
That's what I want to do. But Jesus doesn't stop thought there. I want him to. I want him to drop a hard period at the end of that sentence and move on to walking on water or multiplying fish with his bare hands. "End scene Jesus, end scene!" I want to shout. But He doesn't get down that way. He follows verse 38 with this gem about the second commandment:
“And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Nards! Really? There's a neighbor involved? Can't I just go on a deep spiritual retreat to a cave in the desert where I grow a beard, and live alone as I work on my faith, perhaps keeping a wolf as my only companion? I’ll name him "Timber" after the one Snake Eyes had in GI Joe. Can't I turn the Bible into a self help book and God into a self empowerment guru? Can't this faith thing just be about me?
But it's not. There's a second half to that thought. There's a neighbor and a call to love and an outward expression of faith and Nathan challenged me on it.
The truth is, I sometimes want my faith to be like a bonsai tree, the miniaturized versions of trees made famous in the Karate Kid movie. I want to manicure it and study it and prune it and move piece by piece around with tweezers, never once taking my eyes off the small little tree and refusing to admit there is a forest outside my window. Never once admitting that there are deep woods all around me. Never once realizing that I walk through groves of trees every day that need to be loved and served.
Is there an inward direction to faith? Is there a place for being deliberate about your heart and your mind and your soul? Without a doubt. I don't think Jesus made a mistake when He called loving the Lord the most important commandment. I think the internal life is a critical part of our faith experience. But Jesus didn't stop there. He didn't end the thought with that foundation. He didn’t end the thought with a single tree. He jumped into the forest. He finished by calling us toward our neighbor. He ended by calling us toward outward love.
And whether I'm afraid or lazy or selfish or a million other things, I can't escape from the fact that He wants me to have more than bonsai faith.
Have you ever felt like you have bonsai faith?
It can be very difficult to balance love for God and love for others, I think it is because both take so much of our time.
ReplyDeleteI find myself spending so much time with God that I neglect others then resolve to spend more time with others which I do to the point of neglecting God. For about 2.5 seconds I achieve balance in my life during the crossover.
I feel like I either miss the forest for the tree or the tree for the forest.
ALL the time. So many times I have turned it into the "self-help gospel". What's in it for me? I fail to see that the real purpose is to know Christ better, it's not a psychology that will help you discover who you are and how to change all of your bad habits and thought patterns. Sure it's a consequence of spending time in the word and with the Lord but it should not be our main goal.
ReplyDeleteI do focus a lot on me and forget about all the others. Sure, I like to serve at my church, I share my testimony, update my status on FB to mention something about my walk with Christ but it is diluted Christianity because I have forgotten the greatest commandment about loving God will all my heart and my neighbor as myself. That second part is really tough sometimes.
Thank you for the reminder.
So, the question that pops into my mind as I read that is, What does that mean, to "love my neighbor as myself"? What does that look like in my life, the way I walk through my day?
ReplyDeleteOh, sorry, I meant to say, "Wow! You're an awesome Christian!" ;-)
Doesn't it seem to you that the first commandment is easy, though? All you have to do is obey the second, and the first one's covered.
I'm all about the "loving your neighbor as yourself" thing, so long as it's everyone else loving on ME. Me, Me, MEEEEEEEEEE. Or I have a martyr turn and spurn all affection while obsessing about doing things for others.
ReplyDeleteNeither situation tends to end well.
I have heard the phrase 'spiritually fat' used and that annoys me. As a Christian you should not seek God's love just to keep it for yourself. It creates unhealthy churches and unhealthy Christians. If there a Christians that are doing all the serving and those that are doing all the taking neither set benefits.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, thanks for hitting where it hurts today! Seriously, thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely I've experienced the bonsai faith. Like every day. And worse, it goes from attention to God and morphs into attention on myself. Before I even realize it, not only am I not thinking about my neighbors, I'm not thinking about God either.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding that writing about faith everyday sometimes ironically brings out the worst in my self-absorbtion tendencies. This Sunday in church I found myself thinking, more than once, Ooooh, I can use that in the blog! Or, Oh yeah, I've got to remember that line! I was thinking about how I could best use the word of God to suit me. Yikes. It was a major reality check.
I wrote about it yesterday, but I still don't quite know how to prevent it from happening again and again. How do you write about God and faith every day, yet prevent the process from diminishing your actual worship of God? That's my quandary.
I'm usually the opposite, externally I'm generous and helpful etc. but inside I'm a wreck
ReplyDeleteMy pastor touched on this this past Sunday when we talked about John 7: 37-39. Verses 37-38 says, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." We talked about how that stream of life flows from Christ's heart to ours to others. There's no place for a lake of life water. It's a river, and it just keeps rollin' along.
ReplyDeleteAs Seda [3:51 am] says, obey the second and the first is covered. But, oh, man, that is asking so much of one who would be content to be a monk in a cell with his Bible, his commentaries and pen and paper.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with Nick the Geek as far as the balance issue. My life seems to be spent leaping from one extreme to another, like a giant pendulum. I've had moments of what I perceive as maybe having been bonsai faith, but then again, I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm very wrong in thinking this, but time and experience does help: you fall flat on your face enough times, you start to realize that it's not what you want to be doing; not what you are finding that deep abiding contentment in God for. I can tell when I am doing that what I shouldn't, or I'm not doing enough. Something's just not right.
Some friends just do call us out where it hurts, don't they?
I needed to hear that today.
ReplyDeleteThe two commandments are really one, and cannot be separated from each other--that's why Jesus linked them together. There ultimately can be no distinction between love for God, love for neighbor, and love for oneself--there is only love, without any kind of prioritization (e.g., God first, others second, self third). The three are inextricably bound together.
ReplyDeleteI find we often do love others as we love ourselves. The level of love we give is usually equal to the level of love we have for ourselves and for Jesus. When one ignores others or is self-centered, it isn't because they overly love themselves, but rather because they feel they are terribly lacking.
ReplyDeleteWow, very thoughtful comments on this post! I agree with Nick the Geek, among others - that balance is insanely hard.
ReplyDeleteUnlike the bonsai master, I struggle with the opposite end of the spectrum more regularly. In response to Seda, I don't think if you do the second part, you automatically do teh first. I am awesome at keeping a mindset to serve others - I go out of my way to help out above and beyond at work, I am always willing to pitch in, I am purpesful about the ministries I am committed to within and without the church, and so on and so on. But I need to catch myself, because if I'm spending all of my time making food and hanging with youth and setting up and taking on extra projects, I so often forget about to tend to my own soul. I need to take time purposefully for devotions, quiet times, talking with God other than snatches when I'm paying attention as I drive or in the shower. Steve is right - the three are inextricably linked, and we become gangly and unbalanced so easily.
wv: calersi - a group of midget cats.
Great post ~ thanks.
ReplyDeleteAnd I had never thought about Chipotle charging for chips before.... but now I have an issue! (Sure this is what you wanted readers to come away with!)
Lately, I've been giving so much and helping others, inside I'm a mess. Like I'm so discouraged I'm about to lose my mind mess. I've had to really get back to putting God first this week. And it's been awesome watching God slowly pick up the pieces of my heart. I'm learning that the more I seek God and know Him, His love with naturally flow out of me to others.
ReplyDeleteI believe it was the great Tate, Mac, and Max trio from my 1990's christian-music upbringing that said, "I don't care what say, I don't care what you've heard. The word love, love, Love is a verb."
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, just last night I was having a talk with my daughters about that very part of scripture. They were mad at each other and one of their friends and had launched on a downward spiral of condemnation at each other and the friend. As I talked to them about what Jesus said concerning our neighbors, it occurred to me that it doesn't mean that Jesus gives us everything we want or that Jesus never says "No", which seem to be the two ways I always feel I should show my love for my neighbors, which can be exhausting and ultimately make me dislike them more. It DOES mean that Jesus loves me unconditionally and probably wouldn't sit around brooding about how rude or insensitive I am getting more and more angry, but my rudeness probably causes him to be sad in some ways and to talk that over with His Father as well as continue to work on my heart and love me in spite of my failings. This makes Jesus my only hope because only He sees me for who I really am and should become through Him, this places a very empowering role onto the shoulders of the Christian neighbor. A much better model than the one I come up with. I just finished "Searching for God Knows What" which is all about this, really changed the way I read God's Word and view my relationship with him FWIW.
ReplyDeleteJon, don't you know you're serving others every day with your humor and encouragement? You've blessed me (and countless others, no doubt) to tears many, many times, especially on Serious Wednesdays. You couldn't do that without your study and quiet time. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI love serious Wednesdays.
ReplyDeleteAt my church, we challenge every single member to be serving...even the children. We have different community outreach projects to allow entire families to serve together. We encourage every teenager & adult to be serving either during the week at the church or the weekend. It's amazing how much of our church is volunteer run--we don't have people who volunteer once a quarter, we ask for at least an every other week commitment.
When I first came on staff here & learned that we asked our members to do that, I couldn't believe that they actually would, but they did! They served graciously.
My boss is so good about helping us see that we need to be administers of the Gospel, equip our members to go out and minister. By us asking them to serve, we're actually ministering to them. Honestly we as a staff are ministered by the volunteers. I am continually challenged and amazed by our volunteers.
I run the discipleship program for elementary students. I get to teach the children of staff & volunteers. What's really incredible to see is when my students reach fifth grade, they start asking me where they can volunteer on the weekends at church in sixth grade. It's so fantastic to see the children realize serving God & serving others is a way of life.
ReplyDeleteAnd I promise this is my last comment on this post. Sorry for doing two. I just wanted to note the benefits of volunteering.
You blog is werw good.
ReplyDeletewww.vivendoteologia.blogspot.com
Regarding serving, keep in mind that many of us serve every day in normal ways. I serve my family by making dinner, doing laundry, and shoveling the snow. I serve my daughter by walking her to school and helping as necessary with her homework. I serve the forty-plus college students I teach in more ways than I can count. All that is part of "loving my neighbor."
ReplyDeleteI feel like it's pretty typical among Christians to pretend to have bonsai faith when they don't even really have that. There is, undoubtedly, a possibility of spending too much time attending to our inner lives and thus neglecting the active aspect of our faith, but many people try to deal with their inner life but don't actually do anything with it. They like the idea of a bonsai tree, but they never actually go out and get one. Their inner life is just as nonexistent as their outer.
ReplyDeleteBut even more common is the attempt to live a bonsai faith but not really care for the soul that much. Or try the same one tool repeatedly. "I know I have to water my tree (study my Bible or go to church or whatnot), but my tree isn't doing very well." There's a reluctance to do other things for various reasons - lack of knowledge, suspicion of those other tools, a fear that looking too close at the tree would show you just how bad it really is, etc.
I don't have a problem with bonsai faith as you put it. But a real, flourishing passive life will lead, as many monastic orders, particularly mendicant and preaching orders, have found will naturally flow into an active faith.
A bonsai faith that doesn't gradually flow into a bonzai faith (ouch! I actually went there) isn't caring for the tree very well...
Faith in the Christian perspective deals with God in the 2nd person, the (I-Thou), personal relationship Christians have with Jesus. It's ALL bonsai faith in that it's shaped in as many different ways as there are followers. The only person who didn't have this methodology was Jesus himself. Jesus was not a Christian as the concept didn't exist until after he died. Bonsai faith is a given when ignoring the 1st and 3rd person perspectives of God.
ReplyDeleteBurrito theory, greenhouse of me, and nards. I loved this post. A gut check wrapped in razzle dazzle.
ReplyDeletewv: daysoff = how I too often treat the second commandment.
Can't wait for the Karate kid remake with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith.
ReplyDeleteGood point. We know how to twist everything and make it appear we're serving God and other but it's all about ME!
Are we living in parallel universes? I JUST had this conversation yesterday with a friend.
ReplyDeleteFrom one bonzai master to another, we need to let the tree grow wild.
You're a great Christian,
The Control Freak
Definitely have bonsai faith. Its difficult for me to imagine sharing my faith with others when I am so insecure with my own. It's easier to say, oh hey, I'll focus on me, because I'm not exactly secure in my faith, and that's enough of an excuse to stay focused on myself. In reality, it is not. I love Serious Wednesdays.
ReplyDeleteI love the posts that make me think - I agree w/several of the commentors, and this was definitely something I needed to read today. I find it hard to step outside of my comfort zone so much of the time - focusing on things that are really so trivial that they shouldn't even be an issue. Not focusing on what really matters. Lately, I also feel like I might be hitting a road block - or almost like that proverbial fork in the road,except each fork has ten tines on it and I'm lost with no direction. So, how do you find your path? How do you go the way God wants you to? Is it really as simple as listening to the little voice within you? And - how do I quiet the racket in my head to listen to the voice!? These are the questions running through my head!
ReplyDeleteAnd, Nick the Geek? I find balance impossible. Let me know if you ever find it lasting for more than 2.5 seconds!
You got a little blurb on Justin Taylor's website for your new book! Crazy!
ReplyDeleteThank you for tapping so well into something I've been grappling with lately but haven't been able to articulate. I followed a conversation on Facebook recently where I was shocked at the number of people who claimed that Christian faith and spiritual maturity lies entirely in loving God and developing our personal relationship with God. I didn't know why that rubbed me the wrong way since faith IS about love, but your post hits the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteAs a corollary, I'm challenged sometimes with the opposite problem -- loving others but then allowing myself to feel taken for granted or hurt when the people I extend love to don't make much effort to show love in return. Have you ever written a post about offering "selfless" love but subconsciously expecting something in return? That's one that would really convict me.
First of all, this blog rocks my face off.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with the whole "love your neighbor as yourself" thing is I don't know how to love myself. If I treated my friends the way I treated myself...I'd have no friends. So I treat my friends with the care, concern, and respect that I should also be giving to myself. When a friend is in trouble, I'm right there with hugs, words of comfort, a listening ear, whatever's necessary. Buy when it comes to my own pain and my own problems, I just sit alone in a corner and beat myself up for letting my life get so bad.
I wish I could love myself as I love my neighbor.
Some good verses: "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)
ReplyDeleteand 1st John 4:7-14.
To what extent did Jesus Christ (aka God the Son) love us and love the Father? He is God and God is love. He is love. So He fully loves the Father and fully loves us. Let us do likewise, fully loving God and fully loving (agape-ing, being devoted to) each other as members of the body of Christ Jesus our Lord.
I've never left a comment before (and didn't read all of these, so hopefully no one said this already), but here it goes: Jesus says the second commandment is "like" the first--in order to love God with your whole self, you must also love your neighbor. Loving God IS loving your neighbor, and loving your neighbor IS loving God. Or to phrase it differently, if you're NOT loving your neighbor, you cannot love God, and if you're not loving God, you cannot love your neighbor. To live into either of them properly, you have to live into both. Which is where I think your friend was going with his tough question--when you don't love your neighbor, you hit a spiritual "wall" with God (and vice-versa). Not that I do either of these well, but those are my thoughts. . .
ReplyDeleteAnother fabulous Wednesday post, John. I want to live in the forest too!! Thanks for that reminder. (and I agree with the chips sentiment!)
ReplyDeleteWhat is with you Christians? It's simple (though not easy): as Steve 6:01 a.m said, it's all one commandment; and the magic is that fulfilling the obligations of the second part automatically fills the first. And remember, Slydegirll, the second part includes YOU - loving others as yourself means you meet your own needs, as well as others.
ReplyDeleteDon't fall into the trap of focusing on the first part - that is the path of self-righteousness, the sin of the Pharisees. By it you become involuntary hypocrites. The real questions are: Who is my neighbor? What is love, and is the love I want to express unconditional? Was Jesus' love unconditional? What does it mean, to love others and yourself unconditionally? God is love, and you cannot go wrong loving
D@#%, I'm glad I'm not a Christian!
But I do appreciate the awareness that I see here of the limitations of a bonzai faith. It's a great analogy - and oh, so apt.
Seda- In my experience, I have to focus on loving God first and then loving others second. As someone said earlier, I cannot love others without loving God first (cause let's face it, some people can be hard to love sometimes). For me, love for others flows out of my love for God. Because if I love God then I'm moved to love what He created.
ReplyDeleteJon, Jon, Jon. There you go stepping on toes again. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIn the middle of a busy week, I've been scrambling for excuses to get out of two great opportunities to reach out to people in the margins - homeless teens and refugees. The toe stomping was needed and obviously done in love. I need to embrace these opportunities to love my neighbors as myself.
I'd better run. I've got a "call to love" coming in. Thanks, Jon!
ahhhhhhhhh. Stab to the soul. So good.
ReplyDeleteAll the time.
ReplyDeleteBoy, do I ever find myself a bonsai Christian. It's sooooo easy to get bogged down in learning about God, basking in his glory a bit, getting all excited about how awesome he is, and just stewing in it. And while I do that, I feel distant from God because it's all abstract, and there's nothing in my life that allows me to pour that back out to the people in my world who really need some love.
ReplyDeleteI've been meaning to call a good friend from college who I've been awful about keeping in contact with. I've been procrastinating for no good reason. I think I'll go give her a call right now, and spread the love.
Thanks, Jon.
Bonsai, as in the little tree...
ReplyDeleteI totally thought it would be about what ninja people would cry out before jumping into the fracas. You know, like "BONSAIIIIIIIIII".
I guess maybe that one is with a Z.
@ Charlotte
ReplyDeleteI understand. I come from a background that left me with a nasty image of myself. When I let Jesus define me instead of the abuse, this places me on the path towards healing. Regardless of how I feel (to borrow a line from a song), I am a treasure in the arms of Christ. (And now to quote a movie) you have to lead your heart & not follow it.
i want my faith to be like a '72 Chevelle Super Sport with 350 big block...everyone knows how I roll...
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Reminds me of the book, "O2, Breathing New Life into Faith" by Richard Dahlstrom. I think it'll be out shortly. You should def. read it. It talks about balancing both the inhaling(being fed, loving God, reading the bible) and the exhaling (serving others, and loving your neighbor as yourself).
ReplyDeleteYes, I have felt like I have Bonsai faith. I fight it a lot...it's that voice that tells me to step out of my comfort zone. "Now?!" "Yes, now"
ReplyDeleteThank you. Great post.
-M
But Jon! Focusing only inward is so much EASIER than loving my neighbor. And trust me, there is plenty to focus on in here...
ReplyDeleteBut when I focus only on myself, I forget that my own restoration depends a lot on others' restoration. When God created us, even then we were all interconnected, weren't we? Not that I should be motivated by selfish desires when I love other people (not at all), but I think Jesus was on to how contributing to the healing of others does so much for our own healing.
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ReplyDeleteWay too often I have bonsai faith! I'm a thinker and analyzer in nature (and I'll admit, a bit of a self-help junkie as well) so I love that first commandment...where I struggle is actually putting my love into action, like the second calls for. Sure, it's easy to think, "today I will love my co-workers and will be patient with all the kids at the daycare where I work," but then when kids don't listen and I have to repeat myself over and over and OVER and my co-worker takes an extra long break and asks me to clean up her mess for the 3rd time this week because she didn't make time to do it--and I have a hard time not falling into the trap of resentment and impatience.
ReplyDelete