Anger is a sin right? It’s one of those “instant-sins” where you go right to confession, do not pass go, no gray zone, we’re talking S to the I to the N.
We can agree on that right? That’s what I thought, which is why I feel so bad right now because I got really angry at a friend.
I wish anger wasn't such an instant sin. I know as a Christian it's an immediate failure and that if you feel angry you should confess it pronto and turn that frown upside and sing the song "Good Morning, Good Morning," from the movie Singin' in the Rain and maybe swing around a streetlight but sometimes I don't want to.
I know Jesus cleared the temple with the whip, and that if I had a group of money lenders to clear right now I would be justified in my anger. I could just go on a rampage of tables and whips and coins flying and probably yell “It’s Jesus time, and I brought the Sons of Thunder with me,” but that’s not exactly what happened to me. A friend was just a jerk and since I felt angry I’m bumming God out big time right now. Smile, Jon, smile. Be cool, be cool.
Too late, now I feel guilty for being anger.
Now what was just a grumpy feeling is now growing and spiraling out of control akin to Bruce Banner in the Incredible Hulk. Why didn't he wear those colorful weight lifting pants all the time? It seems like he created an unnecessary amount of cut off jean shorts and he could have avoided the whole thing by wearing pants with a flexible waistband. (And the "necessary amount" of cut off jean shorts for men is zero by the way. Great, you’re reading this and you’re wearing cut off jean shorts right this second and now you’re angry at me and you’re feeling guilty too.) Don't get distracted Jon, stay focused.
Oh but I can't because I started to feel angry, which made me feel like I had failed as a Christian. My counselor said that we all have feelings about feelings. And my feeling about anger is guilt. So when I get angry I feel guilty. I feel like a sub-par Christian which makes me feel angrier because I hate to fail and that increased anger just adds more guilt. And now I’m stuck in a moment and now I can’t get out of it. Stay out of this Bono, even your lyrical Irishness is not going to remedy this situation like Jason Mraz. Ohh I'm so angry my pop culture references are bumping into each other like celebrities that are confused by the tango on the show Dancing with the Stars.
It’s just like Ephesians 4:26 says, "Your anger is a sin." It says it right there, clear as day. What's that? I've misinterpreted that verse? The verse actually says "In your anger do not sin?" It actually separates anger from sin and anger might even be a healthy, normal emotion to feel and deal with instead of stuffing down? Are you challenging my Bible knowledge? Is that what this is? Ugh, I am so angry at you right now.
You should be glad the waistband of these pants is elastic because it's about to get ugly in here.
I've had days like that.
ReplyDeleteIt can be so hard to not feel the guilt...about anything (like the 'gluten intolerance' my son has had for the last 6 months was actually low-grade appendicitis and he has now had his appendix not quite in an emergency, but close, and is now so much better. Yeah, no guilt there! >:-)
A psychology major friend of mine once said, "Anger is a masking emotion." That's always stuck with me, because it resonated a lot. What's underneath the anger is important. For me, I realized it was so much easier in a "friend being a jerk" situation to feel angry than to feel hurt. Anger means I'm in control, right? But then eventually I came to the point where I'd rather feel hurt than feel angry, let that guide what I say to my friend, and need to apologize.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I don't feel guilty about anger so much as I am often guilty of rushing in to protect myself and forgetting that God is already on that.
I've struggled with anger because I always felt like I had no right to be angry and that anger separated me from God. Then I realized that anger depends on the source of my emotion and how I express my emotion.
ReplyDeleteIf I am angry because someone cheats or steals or lies and that is wrong, I am experiencing a righteous anger, much like that which Jesus experienced. If I am angry because someone inconvenienced me by cheating or stealing or lying, I am selfish, and my anger is selfish anger, and that is sin. If I react to that anger with sinful behavior--to gossip, to retaliate, to seek vengeance--I also sin.
I related with your post and appreciate your transparency in addressing anger and guilt. And thanks for sharing the scripture--that explained a lot to me but wasn't a scripture I'd seen before.
And the "necessary amount" of cut off jean shorts for men is zero by the way...
ReplyDeleteToo right. And it could be edited to delete the words "cut off jean" and still be right.
I've often wondered the same thing about David Banner. No doubt he should have been sporting some Sean John sweatpants and an Ed Hardy T at all times.
ReplyDeleteI think I've gotten past the whole feeling guilty about feeling angry thing, but now I go around with clenched teeth hissing, "beangrybutsinnot, beangrybutsinnot, BEANGRYBUTSINNOT." Clearly, there is still some work left to do.
ReplyDeleteI've struggled with anger with a (former) friend for months now and felt guilty about it. Long story short, after a six year close friendship, she abruptly ceased all communication with me - except for small talk at church. At first, I was incredibly hurt and tried to ask what I had done. When the answer was "nothing - my other friends just understand me better." I got angry. And then I felt guilty. Which made me angry. Get the picture? Still trying to feel better about it. Praying lots.
ReplyDeleteohhhh noo! lol ok, so i havent finished the blog yet, but i just got to the part about why hulk didnt wear sweatpants?
ReplyDeletei LOVVVVED hulk when i was a lil girl, like prolly one of his biggest girl fans, and that ALWAYS made me so irked.
thanks for this blog. i have a suspicion its going to be helpful bc im dealing with heavy stuff & am battling the anger. did u get this idea after seeing the statuses on my facebook page? lol!
Thursday @ 3:40 is right about anger being a masking emotion. My spiritual teacher, Laurence Freeman, once said that "wherever there is anger, there is fear." Assuming that's true, go deeper and look for the fear that inspires the anger.
ReplyDeleteOTOH, I don't feel much guilt about being angry, especially regarding the things I get angry about--injustices, both large-scale and small; stupidity; greed; violence; cowardice; the list goes on. Nope, no guilt about that kind of anger.
I know what you mean. Then especially for me, feeling guilty for being angry with a family member messes up those healthy boundaries we sometimes need to set. They play the card of, "If you don't give me what I want and you get angry at me, then you don't really care about me." Which isn't true.
ReplyDeleteBruce Banner - not David
ReplyDeleteGreat post - what made me stop and think is the line that we all have feelings about our feelings. I tend to ramp up any regular feeling with a torrent of emotional reactions to that feeling - I just never thought about it that way before.
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me angry. I forgive you for making me angry. I forgive myself for being angry. Let's hug it out.
ReplyDeleteIf I read the Old Testament correctly, God considers it a sin, when injustice doesn't bother us - perhaps even get angry about it. And since the Bible also speaks of God's wrath, anger can be a holy thing. Like anything else, when anger is due to self-centeredness, it is sin. And when we sin, let us never forget that Jesus is the Faithful Forgiver (1John 1:9) who does not condemn us. (Romans 8:1)
ReplyDeleteI'm more likely to feel stupid than guilty after being angry. The other day, the "digital coaxial audio input" of my DVD player was refusing to work. After trying a few things, I threw the remote against my easy chair, which immediately disassembled it (yay, plastic!). So then I just had to reassemble the remote, in addition to thinking of a way to convince the audio input to work. Stupid.
ReplyDeleteI need to get out more.
You're hilarious even when you're angry :) Loved the part about turning the frown upside down, singing, and dancing around a light pole :)
ReplyDeleteDon't make Jon Acuff angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
ReplyDeleteYou know, just once I would have liked to hear Bruce Banner say, "Don't make me angry...seriously, don't make me angry, this is my favorite pair of jeans, I don't want to ruin them."
I have the reverse problem with anger: when I get angry, I cry. This is not an intimidating or helpful strategy. I recently missed a flight due to an error at the airport. When I wanted to stand my ground and assert my rights to be able to board, all I could do was tear up. It was humiliating. Bah.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was Bruce too, but wasn't sure so I didn’t say anything. I'm more of a Batman kind of guy.
ReplyDeleteFor my two cents on anger, I agree anger is a feeling that wells up inside of us when we perceive some sort of injustice being done. That is part of the Imago Dei, the image of God inside of us. God gets angry with injustice too. However, as a being created in God's image, we don't have any rights. We have no pride. We have no nothing, apart from what God has entrusted us with.
So let's say somebody wrongs me, and anger wells up inside of me. I have to ask myself why I'm getting angry, and what do I do with it. Am I getting angry because I feel like I have some sort of rights, some sort of entitlement? If so, that's pride, because we don't really have any rights. We don't have any value inherent in ourselves, we only have value that God has given us. So if I'm angry at me being offended, I'm putting myself in the place of God. I need to realize that that is not a good reason to be angry, and repent.
I do think there are good reasons to be angry, but I think we all agree on those. Anger is not sin when it is righteous anger, when it is something that would make God angry.
But the bottom line is that any attitude that has us at the center is sinful, no matter how we try to paint it. We shouldn't get angry when someone wrongs us. That's what whole turn the other cheek thing is about. Someone wrongs you, you respond with love rather than anger. I don't do this, because I'm sinful. But that's how Jesus operated. He got angry when God was profaned, or perhaps when others were wronged, but he didn't respond with anger when he was mistreated.
Huh? What version are you reading for Ephesians 4:26? Mine says "In your anger do not sin" (NIV). KGV is similar.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, read Mark 3 - another great instance of Jesus' anger.
I think (here we go) that anger is not a sin in itself, but what we do with it that may be.
Kinda like temptation is not a sin.
You do know that all of your friends are now re-evaluating all of their interactions with you over the past few days to figure out if it's indeed THEM that ticked you off! LOL!
ReplyDeleteDon't be surprised if you get tons of emails and phone calls expressing random and sponataneous apologies!
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ReplyDeletewow, rebeccamh-that totally sounds like me.
ReplyDeletei was always made to feel like "how dare i get angry-i, as a child could have no legitimate excuse to be angry about something."
still learning how to deal, without repressing it. *sigh*
Anger was never an acceptable emotion for me to have when I was young, not in my household. I was the fixer, and it was an abomination if I got angry. So...I never knew how to deal with it. Mostly I just cried, which is acceptable as a 6 year old. Maybe even 10. But 12 is pushing it. And 24? Totally unacceptable. So, now I struggle with how to deal with the anger I feel. And I too, feel guilty for being upset. Must be resonating from my childhood, I still fall back to thinking I'm not allowed to be angry. It takes hours, sometimes days for me to realize that if I just let it go, give it up to God, I'll be able to deal. Thanks for this post. And the timeless cut-off shorts reference. That will always garner a laugh. =)
ReplyDeleteHave you seen that episode of the Simpsons where Homer is trying to control his anger and Bart takes advantage of it but Homer starts getting these growths on his neck? I wonder if that is why I had a giant growth on my neck? I need to let it out from time to time.
ReplyDeleteSaturday I took one of the older youth down that has been needing it for some time. He knocks around some of the other guys and even the girls. Not mean just playful because he is about as mature as my 5 year old boy. I saw him playfully slap my wife's hand so I playfully put him in a head lock and dropped him on his stomach with my weight on his back. All I had to do was roll to the right for a few seconds and he would be taking a nap. Instead I let him tap out with his one free hand.
I watch way too much UFC.
Oh, Jon, my day would have been incomplete without the U2 reference and your long overdue stand against cutoff shorts.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great take on how anger. I know when I get angry, it starts so simply and before long I'm having big huge confrontations in my mind with "that dirtbag" that "clearly didn't know who she was messing with". Then it's a short trip to DoubleMegaGuiltville for getting angry, rehearsing the anger and how I'm going to let someone have it. And then I usually get angry at myself and more angry at them for making me so angry. I wonder if I'll ever figure this one out... Oh, great, there's another pair of pants I'm going to have to replace.
when i'm angry I just meditate on my favorite verse from the Bible: Deut. 23:12, 13.
ReplyDeleteafter some deep thought on these verse, i giggle a little and i'm not angry anymore...
and yes...i'm a middlle school youth pastor so i still laugh at fart jokes.
When I look at it, anger is rarely anger for me. It's a reaction to having my feelings hurt. But I react as if I'm mad. Not good. I'm working on that.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff. Can't wait to read more comments on this one...
@Jeff 6:51am
ReplyDeleteYou might want to re-read the next to last paragraph again.
"God is angry with the wicked every day" (Psalm 7:11).
ReplyDeleteWhy do Christians so often assume that anger is a sin? If it is, then we serve a sinful God.
Get mad! Kick the moneychangers out of the temple! Use some of that God-given emotion to right some wrongs!
Am I wrong?
i'm sorry but if you are wearing cut off jean shorts, you should feel angry AND guilty. very very guilty.
ReplyDeleteWhat's so troubling about this post is that it's too true. The other part that's troubling is what to do with it from there. People (read: me) can be terrified of their anger, likely because they've been taught, intentionally or not, that anger is bad or dangerous. It's not just Christians, though the typical Christian mentality certainly opens wide that door. Coming to a place where we realize that anger is not, in of itself, a sin is a good step, but there's a whole heap of more work that God has to do in the heart. Even if we know consciously, the heart may still believe in the guilt or the danger, and beliefs don't quickly change. More things to bring to the Spirit for healing. No wonder we need a savior...
ReplyDeleteAnger is an emotion I struggle with every day. It is a mask, I agree with that. Because of my past, I carry around a lot of hurt and sometimes that translates in to anger. It's something I am in constant prayer about, asking for help with and forgiveness for.
ReplyDeleteI read a book once (don't remember which book or even what it was about, but it wasn't about anger) and in it there was a line about as Followers of Jesus, we should set our "emotional" standards to His. It specifically said how we should only be angered by those things which anger God. Huh. What a concept, right? I strive for that and sometimes it keeps my emotions in check when I start to feel the blood boil. If I can catch myself, I think, Now is this something I'm being offended by or is this a true injustice that God would want me to care about, to be angry FOR Him about. 9 times out of 10, it's my own selfish emotions being offended and then I feel like a jerk. And guilty that, once again, I've allowed my selfishness, my HUMANness, get the best of me.
@who are you: I also cry when I get angry, which makes me more angry because I feel like a big crybaby pushover emotional train wreck when I really want to come across as a person who won't take crap from anyone and can assert herself. In fact, I cry at almost every emotion. Happiness, nervousness, sadness, anger... It's frustrating, isn't it? I laughed when you said it's neither an intimidating or effective strategy. So, so true!! I liked that. Bah!is right! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I just try to remember that God gave me a tender heart, that's how He shaped me. Hard to embrace at times, but it's true.
ReplyDeleteGood post, I have battled that tension alot myself.
ReplyDeleteI have also used that last line alot, but only at Thanksgiving dinner.
I have always heard from counselors that anger is a secondary emotion. Something more painful lies beneath it, hurt, betrayl, fear, etc. Anger is easier and safer to express or live with. Admitting someone has taken a swing at our soul is much harder to deal with. I have always found this to be true in my life.
ReplyDeleteImagine, if only for a moment, that your nation's president is attempting to bring about health care reform, and legislators decide to hold a series of town hall meetings so that public discourse on the subject may occur. Would it be an appropriate Christian response to scream irrationally at figures of authority? I would nearly bet my life that the religion of every one of the protesters was some form of Christianity, perhaps they see this as clearing the temple, but it always seems that perspective is utilized by this demographic as to make themselves look introspective and holy while vilifying their opponents as unrighteous and deserving of anger in the name of God...
ReplyDeleteJust curious, Maybe a way to get through your anger is to go to your friend and talk about it calmly. Matthew 5:23 says basically that if you have something against your neighbor, drop what you are doing, go to your neighbor and work it out. If your friend and you are able to do that then you have kept your friend, cured your anger and gotten rid of a burden. Anger is a burden God doesn't want us to carry around.
ReplyDeleteI read once, can't remember where, that when you are angry, you should ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?" Because as mentioned anger is usually a reaction to something else...being hurt, etc.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with anger a lot (and I too cry when angry). I am trying harder to stop and think about it first more often.
Recently I received some news that immediately made my blood boil. BUT I stopped and immediately went to prayer. I asked the Lord to take care of this for me. That I was furious, and if I tried to address it, I would handle it badly and make the situation worse. The total peace that I was left with, knowing that I did not pick up the phone and tell the person, everything I thought of them, and that God too found this situation awful.
I believe that it angers God when we (his beloved children) are abused, hurt, taken advantage of, lied to etc. So from now on, I am taking it straight the the Ultimate Judge. Why not? He's my Dad right? Not only am I opening up dialouge with Him, and relying on Him (which of course he desires) but I am learning to NOT sin in my anger.
'Bono-reference' Tuesdays are in now!
ReplyDeletei'm sitting here at the airport - angry about how crappy i was treated the during the whole check-in and security screening process (i usually love it - seriously) and then i sit down and read this. by the time i got to the singing in the rain reference i was smiling again. thanks jon for being the answer to my prayer that God change my bad attitude.
ReplyDeleteIt's "be angry, but sin not" ...not "be angry-butt sin-knot". I have more trouble with that subtle-yet-critical distinction...
ReplyDeletewv: cattion (pron. "catty-on") - the way I get when talking about people who've ticked me off when I'm being an angry-butt sin-knot.
"And my feeling about anger is guilt. So when I get angry I feel guilty. I feel like a sub-par Christian which makes me feel angrier because I hate to fail and that increased anger just adds more guilt. And now I’m stuck in a moment and now I can’t get out of it."
ReplyDeleteStory of my life during these early years of parenting.
I've recently been convicted because I DON'T get angry at what angers God. If God gets angry at things - sin, injustice, the enemy - shouldn't I? Too often, I'm just real lax about everything. Not cool.
ReplyDeleteAnger may sometimes be a mask for hurt feelings....but sometimes among Christians I think it is the other way around, since, as today's post shows, we feel guilt about anger. So sometimes we say "Oh, I'm not so much angry as I am hurt." Which can be a way of feeling good about ourselves for not being angry, while at the same time trying to manipulate the person who was the occasion of our unacknowledged anger by making them feel sorry for our poor little hurt feelings....What we need to do is acknowledge anger when it is there, and then from there go on to figure out whether or not it is a justified or sinful anger...
ReplyDeletewow, this came at the perfect time.
ReplyDeletei've truly been struggling with this issue. thanks for the intelligence plus rad humor.
Both Bruce and David are correct. Bruce was the comic book version and David was the TV version.
ReplyDeleteDon't nit-picky people make you angry?!? Praise the Lord for elastic!
Anger IS a doozy.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's anger at God. It's full of all kinds of feelings about feelings about feelings, and guilt is right up there on the list.
When I learned that even THAT was okay, it just about blew my mind...and changed my life forever.
Anger is very justifiable. If you are angry at a person, then it's not good. But to get angry about things that people do or say, or to get angry at circumstances or events that cause frustration and don't benefit anyone. Well, there's no helping it really.
ReplyDeleteUnderstanding why we get angry and how it can be healthy to get through the feeling -- as with any negative feeling, which is a natural part of being human -- is an important factor in realising that anger itself is not wrong.
It is the actions that stem from anger that may be construed as sinful. Just as temptation is but a sinward condition on our part and the follow through is important in terms of our justification, so too is anger just a feeling, and its result can be one that we either justifiably regret or can, with the right understanding, be content with.
You should be glad the waistband of these pants is elastic because it's about to get ugly in here.
ReplyDeletetoo.much.room...must.not.comment...
On a more serious note.
fear leads to hatred
hatred leads to anger
anger leads to suffering
Yoda
minor league Star Wars fan ducking for cover in anticipation of quote correction from major league Star Wars afficionados - but it was something like that and it's always stayed with me, and supports the notion that anger is a secondary emotion, or symptom of something else which needs to be addressed.
Also recognising as many have that there is definitely a time and place for righteous anger, appropriately expressed.
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ReplyDeleteProud to be the first to correct/flesh-out the Yoda quote:
ReplyDeleteFear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate....leads to suffering.
Thanks for the rather challenging post, Jon.
preacher lady - i think we have a new phrase for our recently-neglected SCL dictionary.
ReplyDelete"angry butt - sin knot" definitely qualifies imho.
As a person who 'never gets mad' and suffered for that - here is what I have learned, having learned how to get angry:
ReplyDeleteLike pain, anger is information. Suppressing it without discovering the cause can lead to more damage than the anger itself. Handled wisely it can be a useful emotion.
wv: rodight
'You got that rodight!'
Let's just be careful in our embracing of Eph. 4:26 that we don't forget that Eph. 4:31 and Psalm 37:8 are also in the Bible. There is not a single place I have found in Scripture where God commands one of His followers to be angry, nor is there a single place in Scripture where He commends a human for being angry.
ReplyDeleteAnger as an emotion may not be entirely preventable, and feelings aren't entirely under our direct control - hence Ephesians 4:26, which basically says that if you are mad, don't let it govern your actions, and get over it as quickly as you can. This means it is possible to feel angry and not necessarily to sin.
But to willingly remain angry or act on anger... that looks like disobedience to me.
Just because God did it and Jesus does it does not automatically mean that we should do it - they both invite worship, and we certainly shouldn't do that. The anger God (and Jesus as God) expresses against wickedness is rooted in the fact that He is God (just as His receiving of worship is), and all sin is against Him.
Tom Inister
I use that verse to source empathy. When I see someone else sin and start to go to a "well, I'm superior because I would never do THAT" place, I remember this verse and it keeps me humble. If you have a lot of trouble with it, though, perhaps you should pray for patience. ;)
ReplyDeleteyo, we are all human. the redeemed of the Lord are "dark but lovely" (song of solomon). so get off the guilt trip people; the price has been paid on the Cross... the just shall love by faith in the finished work of christ jesus.
ReplyDelete