A few weeks ago my five year old was given a loud New Year's Eve party type plastic horn during Sunday School. I think the horn had something to do with the celebration the prodigal son was thrown when he returned home but I'm not 100% positive because it was hard to hear her explanation over the loud horn blowing she was doing in the church hallway. And then in the parking lot. And then in the car. And then in our kitchen. Needless to say, when she took a nap, I Houdini’d that horn out of our house never to be seen again.
But it got me thinking, what other Sunday School items send instant dread into me? The horn is a starter, but what other things should never, ever be given to kids in Sunday School? If only there was a comprehensive, yet short, list, perhaps called:
Things we should never give kids in Sunday School:
1. Marshmallows
I feel like we already voted on this, goldfish crackers are the official snack of Sunday School, but occasionally my five year old will emerge from class with a Dixie cup full of marshmallows. She tends to pack for the road, and never eats the snack in the class but instead enjoys eating it in the car while sitting next to her three year old sister who happens to not have a lap full of delightful marshmallows. This is torture. This needs to stop. I can only negotiate so many more marshmallow exchange programs in the backseat. Let's stick with goldfish please, the marshmallow is too delicious and volatile of a snack for a Sunday morning.
2. Wet paint
I don't know that a Sunday School project is ever really dry. You could probably leave it in the desert, under the relentless glare of the yellow sun for a year and when you returned and picked up the Noah's Ark painting, some paint would get on your hands. And your shirt and your back seat and your couch at home and eventually your fridge. Granted, most kids are surrealists when it comes to painting and act like they're making topographical maps they layer on the paint so thick, but let's lean into crayons hard instead of globs of paint. And not Prang, those things are horrible. Real, honest to goodness crayons. Death to paint. Long live Crayola, even though that "sharpener" thing on the back of the box is useless.
3. Cool things that only one class gets
If the five year old class gets a lamb puppet with a horn nose and the three year old class gets a piece of paper that says, "Jesus Loves You" you might as well send them home with a UFC fighting octagon as well because it’s “go time” at the Acuff house. I don't want to say that we're raising little communists, but equality makes the world go round when it comes to kids. Please don't do some amazing handout or toy or gift for one class and then just give the other kids hugs as the take home.
4. Glitter of any sort
I will write about the horrors of glitter until the die I day, which is also how long the glitter from a Sunday School or Vacation Bible School project will remain in your home. You can't clean up glitter. It laughs at vacuums, giggles at wet paper towels and somehow multiples like a craft bunny. "Oh, cute, they used blue and pink glitter to design this fish during a story about God creating the world" you'll think the first time your kid comes home glittered. Think again, because years later when you grab your keys to take your now college aged kid to Freshman orientation your hand will emerge with glitter on it from the junk draw where you keep the keys. Glitter never dies. You're only hope is to never bring it home, but do you really want to be that guy who throws his kid's Sunday School project away in a trash can in the hall at church? No you don't.
That's my list of things we shouldn't send home. But what do we want kids to get in Sunday School? Well, I've only volunteered twice in our church's Sunday School classes but do you know what I sent those kids home with? Exhaustion.
I ran them like they were on some sort of toddler P90X program. We played chase and tag and cars and princesses until they could barely move. That's what we should give kids in Sunday School, reasons to have long Sunday afternoon naps. Until the rest of the world subscribes to that theory though, please just promise me no more marshmallows.
Sharkbait does not support the eating of marshmellow fish at church. That's just sick.
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My husbnd at one point worked with the 2 year olds in Sunday School and would give me the list of reasons that we should not ask small children to glue peices of cereal onto paper. This included the amount of cereal with glue on it that the kids would consume and it doesn't stick any way.
ReplyDeleteAh, I still have a glitter ornament that I still hang on my Christmas tree every year, made in good old Sunday School class.
ReplyDeleteLong live glitter!
You'll be more than pleased to hear that FRUIT and CRAYONS (and not glitter) are order of the day in our church. Not none of this Marshmellows and Paint business.
ReplyDeleteThose bird feeders that are made out of pine cones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed should be outlawed. They don't even have anything to do with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAs a Bible School teacher, I vote for the glitter, the paint plus all the messy things that kids love. Who cares what the parents think, it's all about the kids! The more messes they make, the cooler they think class is and I know that the integration of the Bible Story into their long term memory is directly related to the amount of glitter and paint used.
ReplyDeleteI recently saw Facebook flair that says "GLITTER IS THE HERPES OF CRAFT SUPPLIES."
ReplyDeleteMy 21-year-old daughter got married this summer and my almost-19-year-old son is about to head back to college for sophomore year, but every year at Christmas I still drag out their Sunday School ornaments - the angel made out of coffee filters (glitter-enhanced) and the one made out of their traced hands (also glittered) along with a variety of other painted popsicle stick ornaments. I hang them proudly on my very random, anti-decorator-showroom tree. Treasures!
ReplyDeleteMarshmellow negotiations in the back seat...oh, I almost died. Imagine having SEVEN kids (like my parents) and having to run negotiations. We'd have to have an emergency stash in the car for events like this.
ReplyDeleteAnd glitter? Yes, our 12 passenger van still sparkles, and I think there is paint fading away.
Re: glitter-- I completely agree. Although I didn't realize Sunday school was such a glitter pusher.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the marshmallows and cool-take-home. And I hate glitter (don't even like buying greeting cards with glitter) but I agree with the Anon comment above too--let the kids have some fun. 5 year olds will never think crayons are as cool as paint and glitter.
ReplyDeleteIsn't there something more to be said about artsy craftsy projects that the kids don't even know the connection to the story for the day? My nephew came home with a painted picture that was actually kind of pretty but when asked what it was about he said, "I don't know, maybe heaven???"
ReplyDeleteDemetri Martin once said that glitter is the herpes of craft supplies ("Step out into the sun ... flare up!"). But I see Deana already beat me to pointing this out :)
ReplyDeleteI can feel the glitter battle brewing. I, personally, am conflicted on the issue. On one hand it does add a certain 'jazz' to the Sunday School craft and it definitely gets kids excited about their sparkly craft (What? 'Sparkly' isn't a word? Since when?) On the other hand, I think glue and sparkles just don't mix well. It's a tricky combination really, because at first they appear to work well-- The sparkles stick and everybody is happy. But after time, the glue and sparkles must have disagreements and fights as they slowly turn against each other.
ReplyDeleteJon, I challenge you to make anything "razzle dazzle" without using glitter. Looks like you just got leg-dropped!
ReplyDeletegreen paper airplanes
ReplyDeletefunny you wrote about this. I wrote about how God used the green paper airplanes to teach me something just yesterday afternoon.
I'm with you on the glitter thing, and I think this statement I once heard sums it up quite nicely:
ReplyDeleteGlitter is the herpes of the craft world, once you get it you can never get rid of it.
Anything made with food. Can you serious keep that in a memory box. Please don't glue cereal, candy or other foodstuffs on a piece of paper. That art is going straight to the trash come nap time.
ReplyDeleteA few weeks ago the kids made "Lydia's Cloth" but from what I could tell it was a row of wet paper towels with no names anywhere. I'm guessing they put marker on it too and it was supposed to run, but it was just a wet paper towel when I got there. Yeah, I left it. I am not ashamed.
ReplyDeleteAs a second grade teacher, former sunday school teacher, and a mom I have to say I really dislike glitter, but I do use it on occassion. Why because it is sparlkly and the kids love it and it no longer comes into my home ;) Glitter glue is the answer to some of this.......but then you have the "this stuff never dries issue"
ReplyDeleteI should also mention a must have craft supply. GLITTER GLUE PENS. The glitter goes directly where you want it as a garnish, and there is no mess. You may have to ask parents to up their tithe, but it is totally worth it!
ReplyDeleteour lead pastor has enforced a "no-glitter" policy in our buildings. Seriously!
ReplyDeleteGoldfish and fruit are key. Who is the crazy person who gave them extra sugar!?!
As a children's pastor, I'm with you on the glitter, but there must be paint. Kids love paint. I'll toss in some Floam, though, as that stuff is just nasty.
ReplyDeleteWe do take a somewhat should-be-repented-of pleasure in seeing the kiddies smacking a piece of damp-with-thick paint construction paper onto their parents. Look - Noah's Ark on your new suit!
We don't do marshmallow for snacks, but we do do popcorn sometimes. That stuff is as hard to get off carpeting as glitter and Floam.
My best revenge as a daycare provider was crystal gardens, made with charcoal briquettes soaked in bluing...they do tend to fall apart in the back seat resulting in many tears and a horrible mess. The parents politely but firmly asked me to never do that project again. I responded with spray painted and glittered pretzel wreaths at Christmas....heh heh heh
ReplyDeleteLoved this. As a Sunday School teacher (especially as one whose own kids are grown now!), I had to giggle as I read. Since I teach 1-yr. olds, I keep things pretty simple (mainly for my sake -- things can get crazy with 1-yr. olds pretty fast!), but if I had the older ones, not sure I could exercise as much self control :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you -- not sure S.S. teachers will reform any time soon :)
Glitter is evil because I am much to easily distracted. I have learned I cannot have a conversation outside at night during the summer. Right in the middle of a sentence a lightening bug will flash and I'm gone.
ReplyDeleteGlitter has the same effect on me. I"m talking to one of the girls in youth and she'll blink and I suddenly forget what I'm talking about. "So God really wants you to ... hey look you have shiny on your eyelids. Blink again."
That's my real problem with sparkly vampires. I could take on hordes of zombies, werewolves, and real vampires but the sparkly ones would just have to walk into the sun and I would be too distracted to kill them off. Next thing you know I'm a sparkly vampire that sits on the mountain top looking at my glittery skin. Not cool
In short, glitter is of the devil.
I used to help out with kids church..
ReplyDeletewe used to get donuts donated to us to give to the kids.. the first week we made a huge mistake and gave them the donuts @ the beginning of class... we had 45 kids jumping off the walls (im not kidding)... it was crazy!!!
the next week, we gave them as a take home gift :)
ps. the class was at night church :P
Great post, Jon. You've earned your Dad creds for sure with this one.
ReplyDeleteSome you missed:
Globby wet glue. There's something about Sunday School teachers — or maybe just the chaos of their environment — that produces an inability to come anywhere close to determining the answer to that perplexing question, "How much glue is required to bind X to Y?" In the excessive case, your kids greet you at the door having had their middle names changed to Elmer, and every surface between there and the trash can at home (because, let's face it, that's the destination for this stuff) gets a nice smear of adhesive love on it.
Glue deficiency. The opposite of "globby wet glue" is almost as bad, and is an accomplice in most crimes of glitter. You know this type of project. The one that has such a unique dynamicism that it looks different every time you see it. Is it some new morphing paper? Some shape-shifting craft foam you've not seen before? No. It's the fact that 5% of the craft's content is falling away each minute due to insufficient gluing. By the time this sucker hits the refrigerator, it's a mostly blank piece of construction paper, with glassy dried glue smears, and most of your kid's name written in marker (because some of the letters found themselves on pieces now missing from the artwork).
Everyone's comments seem to be focused on John's vendetta against glitter, and its equal yet opposite counterpart named "glue". Having tried to clean up after both of these charming yet deadly means of artistic expression, let me say that I am with you all the way! At least a marshmellow can be picked up and placed in the trash and then forgotten about!
ReplyDeleteDude. I talk about SCL all the time and I think my friends are doing the Cuck-koo sign behind my back when I walk away sometimes...but this may be the first post that I am tacking on the wall at church. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteBeing a children's minister, I am very proud to say my room has been glitter free for fourteen months now. I believe glitter is part of an evil plot to cause strife within ministries as well as homes. We don't use glitter because we love the family. Oooh...that sounds like a campaign waiting to happen! I smell a fall event.
ReplyDeleteI have a confession: when I taught 4th grade Sunday School, I brought in ketchup and mustard. Not to eat. As part of a hands-on craft project. So as a part of your list:
ReplyDeleteCondiments as craft supplies: these should be used to decorate burgers and hot dogs only, not to draw hearts and stars on the floor, soaking through the newspaper print drop-cloths. Moreover, it should not be conducted on a day where 90 percent of the classroom is female and wearing skirts, spending the majority of the class on their hands and knees and permanently staining their sunday best with French's best.
I agree that too much/ too little glue is a frequent tool - usually accompanied by tons of hard macaroni noodles which the kids proceed to peel of their projects & get all over the car. Or eat...
ReplyDeleteSo I am that parent who disceetly throws away the artwork before I reach our already overloaded Suburban. And if a clever child somehow has the skills to get the contraband into the vehicle, you can guarantee it will be stealthily pushed under the carseat until I reach the gas station, at which point it will become fodder for the overstuffed trash can by the pump.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's right. I am that parent. But who needs a print out of Moses or Noah with two green streaks of crayon across their faces?
Two things I thought of as I read this post: First, my husband (a pastor) is deathly afraid of glitter. He refuses to touch cards that have glitter on them, even if they are addressed to him. Something about an incident where a kid blew a bunch of glitter in his face during kindergarten class. But regardless, if he could make church a no-glitter zone, he would. Second, I saw some posts about glue. Folks, there are these glue-dot thingys that are basically like the rubbery adhesive that sticks phone cards to the cardboard backing when you buy them. Sticky but removeable and so NOT messy. I'm tempted to buy a crate of them for our church just to keep the glue from spreading.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could paint and glue in my Sunday school class. We're going through Song of Solomon now. Give me a Christianity Today and and and OK Magazine and I could do a decopague that's the jam.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing more fun than filling kids up with sugar, watching them run around for about an hour and then send them home nicely sedated. Of course the parents have to put up with an afternoon of ratty kids on a sugar come-down, but the quiet journey home is worth it? right?
ReplyDeleteAmen for equality!
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of sounding ungrateful for the fact that 6yo's class has inspired an amazing and continuing interest in reading the word...
I have a tiny bit of a hard time with the fact that 6yo gets Points! for reading Verses! and gets to Trade Points! at a flashy Show Window! for Candy! and Toys!... not that there's anything wrong with that, except that...
4yo comes out with the print of Moses or Noah smeared with glue and tissue paper, and the memory verse stickered onto the chest - no Points! no Candy! or Toys! to Trade For! at the Show Window!
4yo just gets to watch, and then ride home in the same minivan... you get the picture.
Love the program for the fascination with the Bible that it has inspired, but seriously? They don't see the inevitable fallout? I feel guilty for complaining about a program that has had such great results, so have only questioned it in my head - but you gave voice to it and for that I thank you.
I teach Sunday School (kindergartners) and we paint almost every week. We also send home any paintings inside newspaper to keep wet paint off of clothing, car interiors, etc. And, if parents want to toss it, then they can just drop it all in the trash. (Besides, in my experience, the children enjoy making the painting more than keeping the painting.)
ReplyDeleteAs for glitter - no. I won't use it. Too much mess and too much baggage. If I want "sparkly" I'll use glitter crayons or glitter paint. The glitter is already in the product and rarely, if ever, flecks off. But I even use these products sparingly.
Our motto: Be creative, and messy in the classroom; be wise and kind to parents outside the classroom.
NO glitter?!! I cannot fathom not absolutely LOVING glitter. I loved it as a kid and I love it now. I love seeing anything thing that sparkles! Greeting cards with glitter are saved much longer than the others (unless they ahppen to have a cute kitten picutre, of course). Glitter that escapes the vaccuum after Christmas is just a happy joyful surprise to find even if I have to sweep again. I stand in defence of all things GLITTER! :D
ReplyDelete"A little glitter can turn your whole day around."
ReplyDelete-Junie B. Jones
As a wise children's ministry mentor told me, "If kids learn nothing in their early childhood classes other than church is a place that they want to be each week, then you have done your job."
ReplyDeleteI say BRING ON THE GLITTER!!! The more, the better!!! No, it never goes away, but I doubt people who visit a church and see some glitter in a dark corner somewhere are thinking, "Yuck - glitter!" Guaranteed, they're thinking, "This church cares about their kids." This is a good thing.
I'm with you on the snacks, though - if I give out candy or whatever in kids' church and a parent asks if I can spare a piece for a younger sibling, I always comply. No need for me to be the cause of family drama...
When we first moved into our new house, my sister got the bright Idea to glitter up her barbies....and then take them with her to the bath tub, and Six years later? there is STILL glitter stuck to that tub, and not just a little bit.
ReplyDeleteGlitter never dies.
One Sunday morning, my 2 and 4 year old both made Jesus stick puppets in SS. As was the usual custom, I was carrying all the various snacks/papers/crafts out to the car after church. I dropped one of the Jesus puppets. Both kids dived after it and a smackdown ensued in the church parking lot. They were both screaming things like, "That's MY Jesus!" "Give me back MY Jesus!" and variations on that theme. Not sure what the day's lesson was (cause I'm one of those bad parents who never reads the parent lesson summary that is sent home every week) but, if the lesson was about "sharing Jesus with others" it was lost on my two,
ReplyDeleteoh heavens but the paint seriously never dries. so true.
ReplyDeleteAs a children's pastor and surfer I vote for "Sand Art"! You can vacuum that stuff up after each week, or it can be like a vacation in the Bahamas right there in your car. I agree that Glitter is the Herpes of the craft world.
ReplyDeleteI am all for my kids playing with paint, glue, glitter, sand, shaving cream, or what have you in Sunday school. Why? because it all happens in a magical place I call Not My House.
ReplyDelete"Mommy, can I paint today?"
"No sweetie, maybe at church on Sunday."
As long as they get wiped down before they're sent out the door and no sharpies or permanent tattoos are involved, it's all good by me.
I do have a bit of a gripe with all the choking hazard toys that everyone seems to love to give 3-year-olds, however. It was all OK until her younger brother became mobile and fascinated with putting his sister's treasures in his mouth. Glad to hear I'm not the only one that does the "dash-for-the-trash" routine at naptime.
Anon @ 9:25, love the Jesus puppet smackdown story!
as a children's pastor and vbs director i must say, i LOVE glitter and my SS teachers use it all the time. I could take a stock in glitter companys... Now I also have concrete floors with no rugs where they do the crafts, and I have no kids of my own in my dept yet. My husband and I have talked about how we may change the crafts in 3 years when our 2 y/o starts to reach the glitter age. HA HA
ReplyDeleteSo about a month ago my son made a banana boat in Sunday school... It was a banana chopped up with whip cream and pretzels - at 9 in the morning.
ReplyDeleteSomehow this related to Paul's travels :o/
My time favorite was the week I went to pick my kids up from children's church and there in front of the building where that event was held each week stood about 80 young kids with candy cigarettes in their mouths pretending to smoke! Now the lesson had something to do with not smoking (not sure what Bible story they used with that one) but then they gave them the candy ones and well it just all went down hill from there! Very funny post
ReplyDeleteNana2four, I may have just peed my pants a little.
ReplyDeleteChildren's and Youth Ministry... the glitter... the sand art, including foot sandcastings... the pipe-cleaner sculptures...the gallons and gallons of tempera paint... the water balloon fights (one of which coincided with the Mothers In Israel High Tea, and ended badly)...the make-your-own tie-dye shirts...the six-foot-tall papier-mache VBS volcano...the custodian taking Many Names In Vain...
ReplyDeleteLOVE the memories. Highly DOUBT I'd do it again. But I find, as my kids get older, I don't mind the undying glitter quite so much. It's a childhood artifact, and those artifacts get more valuable with time.
wv: nosicroc: a 'gator who can't mind his own business.
when i was a small child in the mid-1980s, i remember making homemade playdough in sunday school. can't remember what the lesson was.
ReplyDeleteunless, of course, it was "don't eat playdough"
but it was made with koolaid and smelled fantastic, of course i would put it in my mouth.
Sweet Fancy Crocodile Dundee! The kids just got out their stuff from VBS last night and they made BOOMERANGS. Send help.
ReplyDeleteAt my previous church the nursery worker insisted on giving the kids in the nursery (yes, I said nursery) doughnut holes. And when parents told him not to, he said he couldn't resist and was going to anyway.
ReplyDeleteNow we are part of a house church (not in any way related to the doughnuts, I promise!), and the biggest problem is the kiddos eating too much bread from the Lord's Supper before we have lunch.
This list is awesome!
ReplyDeleteNow I have special craft ideas for my 1st and 2nd graders whose parents constantly forget to pick them up from Sunday school.
A replica of the Tower of Babel made entirely of marshmallows, a glitterful map of the stars to illustrate Abraham's descendants, or maybe a mural of the nativity scene...finger painted.
Thanks!
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ReplyDelete^Response to 2nd comment above/SCL Suggestion^
ReplyDeleteNow THERE'S an idea for another SCL post: "Being tempted to pillage communion foodstuffs." Because seriously, nearly every Sunday, by the time I get out of the building my parents and I are starving. The real oddity of it is that sunday lunchtime doesnt mess with the normal eating schedule, yet we still end up this way.
Perhaps communion should still be a FULL MEAL (church members, be ready to up your tithe to cover this) so that everyone doesn't go home hungry (and irritated).
I spend a lot of time, energy and sometimes money planning lessons, crafts, and snacks that teach kids like yours biblical lessons in a safe, fun environment.
ReplyDeleteI usually avoid glitter but sometimes the right craft is a little messy. If you think it's annoying to scrub glue and glitter off of your kids, think about the mess left in the classroom that they teacher cleans up.
It's often a thankless job and it doesn't help when a parent shows up to pick up their child complaining about the messy craft I spent a ridiculous amount of time planning or the cupcakes you baked because it's another child's birthday.
Sometimes people treat Sunday School as if it's a childcare center. But I still remember my preschool Sunday School teacher. And all of the ones after her. They invested a lot of time and energy in me and I grew up knowing that when I went to church, I was not only going to learn a Bible story, I was going to a place where I felt safe and loved. I knew that my teachers cared about me. They lived out their faith by investing in me, and their influence continues in my life.
So when I am faced with the choice between fun and parent-pleasing/mess-free crafts, I choose the fun ones because my teachers did. And I still remember them.
Hahahahahaha......I teach the high schoolers and they still love goldfish. As a matter of fact, when stressed I enjoy a handful of goldfish. Why? Because its the end all of childhood snacks!! When the world around us crumble and everything changes, all we have is Jesus and goldfish. Why mess with this age old security blanket?
ReplyDeleteWait--Song of Solomon in Sunday school class, Stacy?
ReplyDeleteHeheheh. Good one!
I like glitter. However, since our "Sunday school" classes are in the school building, yep, kids taught there during the week, I am responsible for leaving the floor, desks, tables, etc in the pristine condition I wish they were in when I arrived. That said, no glitter...
ReplyDeleteOne week at our church the kids came out of their classes with long, pointy objects. I can't remember if they were swords or fishing rods. But ohmygoodness! What are they going to teach the next week....how Jesus cured all the blind children.
ReplyDeleteI teach kids church every three months and this past week I gave them bubbles.
ReplyDeleteThank you Michaels arts and crafts for your dollar days.
for a while our youth rooms were giving the kids huge pixie sticks (pure sugar)...not the small ones but the huge ones 18'' long ones! I saw some not too pleased parents. why not just line them up, play drinking games and have them do shots of expresso before they go home?!! that ended pretty quick...
ReplyDeleteOh, glitter. The meanest practical joke I ever heard of was a friend of mine that dumped glitter in a guy's underwear and sock drawer. Seriously, don't get on her bad side. She has no mercy!
ReplyDeleteMade my husband read this as I was reading it whilst we were watching something and well, could NOT suppress my laughter!
ReplyDeleteha ha ha
I think the worst thing we ever got sent home with us is plants. You know, the little seed that you sprouted in a styrofoam cup to learn about growing in God's word or something equally applicable. Plants however are problems. Either you take them home, they die, and crying, name calling and finger pointing ensue. OR (and this is really the worse option) it's such a hearty and robust plant (read 'weed') that it lives and you HAVE to plant it outside and the Morning Glory (the only thing that grows fast enough won't die) grows all over the place taking over your entire yard and costing you hours and hours of time and effort to erradicate.
ReplyDeletePlease, no plants... or animals (yes, baby chicks, but that's another story)
FROGS. This wasn't technically a Sunday School take-home, it was VBS... and it wasn't really a take-home, we had to go buy two frogs and keep them for the last day of VBS, when they were entered into a frog race of some sort. I'm not sure what the biblical angle was, but there were plenty of churchy jokes about the plague of frogs. And then when it was all over, we had two frogs. To keep.
ReplyDeleteI also share the aversion to glitter. Between my 2 girls, I've had glitter on my face for about 10 years now. People must think I'm some kind of club kid.
Wonder if your church does the same SS curriculum as mine b/c my child brought home the same type of annoying party noisemaker a few weeks back. I didn't cry when her baby sister broke it later that day....
ReplyDeleteAs a former toddler SS teacher, let me just tell you that I hear you and feel your pain. I banned all sticky snacks and projects requiring paint and/or white liquid glue (which also never dries. Ever.)And my kids still loved and adored me.
ReplyDeleteAt least that's what their parents told me...
So this wasn't really a "stuff we like" post, but a "stuff we like to hate" post, right?
ReplyDeleteWV: pingesse- the sound of macaroni against the car windows as your dear child flicks them off withhis fingernail
I vote for the worldwide end of glitter. May it be banned from hallways, church classrooms, drawers, and small hands for all eternity.
ReplyDeleteWhen we picked up our 8 year old from church last month he presented us with a baggie filled with water. And a goldfish. Which we had to take with us on our errands and to dinner before we got home.
ReplyDeleteThen, instead of my Nazarene nap, I went to Target to spend $20 on a tank and filter and bubbler and food.
"Bubbles" is now housed in a place of honor in our living room and the 8 year old wants to take him on vacation with us.
I never did find out what the lesson was that week...
I have my own stash of glitter in various grade of corseness and twenty eight different colors. My kids aren't allowed to touch it, because I want to play with it, I buy them their own. Maybe I never grew up, Oh look shiny.......
ReplyDeleteGood laugh for us as veteran (25 year plus) Sunday school teachers. The thing that needs to be on your list (sorry, I didn't read all 75 comments, maybe it is there)is a styrofoam cup with dirt and bean seeds with 1" of growth, so the child will NOT want to let it be thrown away. It MUST sit on your windowsill and be watered for the next month.
ReplyDeleteOh, and don't forget, it must be watered just before it goes into your car so you will get a nice little mudstain on the carpet of the minivan. (Styrofoam cups need to have drainage holes for optimal growth.)
Thought someone would have mentioned Froot Loop necklaces, with a dangling pendant (not edible) of Jesus or the memory verse. These have been a favorite of our children's ministry. Keeps that sugar high going and going all the way home...
ReplyDeletea seed planted in a little pot covered with indistinguishable stamps (wet paint!). Half the soil will be spilled in the car on the way home. Next, the joy of trying to remember to water the seed, which I will do randomly. My young children will become distressed at the sight of the dying plant, and we will resuscitate the plant a number of times before a weekend away finally does the plant in and the children are heartbroken and I am wracked with guilt. I killed a CHURCH plant!
ReplyDeletethe environmental issues from kids bringing crap home from sunday school always gets me...
ReplyDeleteAs a Sunday school teacher, I have enjoyed reading everyone's comments, and I promise to avoid marshmallows and even goldfish crackers, due to having students with multiple food allergies. I vow never to send home a living thing, be it fish, frog, or plant, and so far I have never sent home anything wet, be it glue or paint (we even let the "air dry clay" oil lamps sit an extra week in the classroom to make sure they were cured). I'm not ordering the curriculum take-home papers this year because I believe neither the children nor their grown-ups read them, but I do have crafts and this year's bunch of kids LOVE to color. Even my soon-to-be kindergartner adored the picture he colored of the feeding of the 5000 and said, "I'm going to put this up in my room!" and by golly he did.
ReplyDeleteI agree we have a responsibility to make the lessons meaningful, economical, and environmentally sound. Like Jon, I agree that letting them just run till they drop can be a valuable learning tool, so they can see why the disciples needed a little rest after Jesus sent them out by twos, for instance, but letting them have *fun* is also an important matter.
Do we want people to think that Jesus was a killjoy? Does God never smile? Does the Spirit lurk around sullenly, keeping an eye out for a Christian who might be enjoying him or herself? Hinder them not!
There's room in children's ministry for everyone who thinks they could do a better job of it. That might be your calling. :-)
I agree 100% with Leanne's post above: Leanne said...
"As a wise children's ministry mentor told me, "If kids learn nothing in their early childhood classes other than church is a place that they want to be each week, then you have done your job."
I say BRING ON THE GLITTER!!! The more, the better!!! No, it never goes away, but I doubt people who visit a church and see some glitter in a dark corner somewhere are thinking, "Yuck - glitter!" Guaranteed, they're thinking, "This church cares about their kids." This is a good thing. "
(Besides, how can you do a picture depicting the Transfiguration and NOT use glitter?)
Hilarious! On Sunday, I am teaching a bunch of 5-year-olds about Gideon's battle with the Midianites... and I considered buying a bunch of party horns to help illustrate, all the while fighting a lurking doubt in the back of my mind. You have tipped the scales in favor of NOT committing such a foolish act(especially since one of those 5-year-olds-- my son-- will be coming home with me!). Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteLove glitter, wet paint, wet glue and trying to avoid getting it all over us and the car!
ReplyDeleteWe have a class that has an outer space theme to teach the book of Acts...the kids love it. But the other day I was singing in choir and saw some 3rd graders with antenae in the congregation...guess the aliens landed in that class!
Just over a year ago, I found myself asking the same question. Smoking was making me feel awful and draining quite a bit of money from my pockets.
ReplyDeleteI've been a Sunday School teacher for a very long time. I work hard to make it a happy place where children have opportunities to encounter God in a relevant way. Sometimes that means making a little mess. It often means hours of preparation and tidying up for a teacher before and after the event.
ReplyDeleteI hope that parents understand that it's not just about what your children bring home. It is about the attitude you bring with you, a thank you or a word of encouragement goes a long way. If you object to 'messy' crafts or sugary snacks - why not offer to organise snacks for the teacher or provide some suitable craft materials. Just don't complain - do something about it. Be a Timothy - encourage one another.