A few weeks ago I lied to a guy at church. I didn't mean to, I wasn't planning on playing him like that, it just happened.
I was in the hall getting my daughter L.E. out of Sunday School. He and I have talked before about the private Christian school his kids go to. So while we waited in line, he made small talk and asked, "Have you guys decided on a school yet?"
The truth is, we have. We're sending our daughter to Kindergarten at the public school down the street. But what came out of my mouth when he asked that question was, "No, we haven't made a decision yet."
Wow, Jon Acuff = liar. And when I talked later with my wife about why I lied to my friend, I realized, "I feel guilty for not homeschooling or sending my kids to a private Christian school."
Where did that come from? My friend certainly never said or did anything to make me feel that way. He's one of the kindest, nicest people on the planet. I don't think I've read anything in the Bible that says, "If you want to be a real Christian you have to homeschool your kids or send them to private school," so how did I end up with this belief?
I'm not sure, but I think it might be because I tend to buy into stereotypes. When my neighbor said to me, "The public schools are great here except for the middle school when you have to start worrying about the street gangs" I started to believe in my head, "Great, every public school on the planet is riddled with gangs. It's not hard enough to be a teenage girl, why don't I send my daughter to a school where in addition to puberty, she will one day have to wrestle with gang affiliation in the eighth grade." And then when I meet a teenager that is homeschooled and polite I think, "If I want to have polite, God-loving, awesome kids I have to homeschool them."
I tend to accept the extremes as the rule, but I'm finding that the more I can put my stereotypes on the table, the easier it is for me to laugh at them and then move on to the truth. So today, I thought I'd throw out my favorite stereotypes for public schools, homeschooling and private Christian schools, giggle at them and then move on. Here goes:
Public School Stereotypes
1. If you send your kid to public school they're going to be constantly learning about evolution. Even gym class will have some sort of Darwinian dodgeball kind of game they play. Every class they take will be evolution focused and eventually they will hate the Bible and creation.
2. When they’re not learning about evolution, your kids will be taking sex ed classes that Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner and the satan himself funded.
3. If you send your kid to public school, they will "grow up fast" and walk away from the church.
4. If you send your kid to public school, you can look at it like a mission field because they'll have a chance to witness to so many people.
5. If you send your kid to public school, you’ll have to supplement the Bible they’re not getting during the day with round the clock Bible study at home from the moment school gets out until the second your kids go to sleep at night.
Private Christian School Stereotypes
1. If you send your kid to Private Christian school, they'll study the Bible all day and form a lifelong relationship with Christ that no man can tear asunder.
2. If you send your kid to Private Christian school, they'll eventually go wild if they go to a non Christian college because suddenly they won’t have all the same restrictions they are used to.
3. If you think public school kids are fast, send your kids to a private school where the kids actually have money for the big, serious drugs and have the time and financial freedom to really get crazy.
4. If you send your kids to a private Christian school, you can worry less about family Bible time because that’s the school’s job, not yours.
5. If you send your kid to private Christian school you'll never have to worry about mean kids, or your kids having enough friends or any of the other challenging things that come with being a teenager because everyone at a private Christian school is a Christian and loves one another.
Homeschool Stereotypes
1. If you homeschool your kids, you have to become "pseudo Amish" and your wife has to grow her hair down to her waist, learn how to make her own clothes, grow your own food and churn your own butter.
2. If you homeschool your kids, they'll be so socially stunted that they won't know how to handle any social interaction outside of your own family.
3. If you homeschool your kids, you can take family vacations whenever you want because you're no longer a slave to the school system’s calendar.
4. If you homeschool your kids, they can't go to the prom, play sports, and have friends with last names different than your own.
5. If you homeschool your kids, they’ll have to go to a small Bible college somewhere in the woods because "homeschool valedictorian" doesn't hold a lot of clout on a college application.
Those are the stereotypes bouncing around my head right now.
How about you? Have you ever felt guilty for not sending your kids to private Christian school or homeschooling them?
Where you homeschooled?
Did you go to a private Christian school?
What's your take on the whole school thing?
Did I miss any stereotypes?
I had a lot of fun reading those.
ReplyDeleteI recently left the state school system in the UK to go to university. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be a Christian if I hadn't gone to that school, because some very faithful and hard working youth workers came to share Jesus in my school every week, for years and years.
But I think most of the stereotypes were mostly true, in my experience. You missed the one about teachers sleeping with each other and promoting immorality though.
I went to public school. I was smart enough to skate through with no real effort, no real conflict.
ReplyDeleteMy son is attending a Christian school. Why? Because when I went there to check it out, one of the kids fell on the playground, and the teacher immediately went over and comforted and hugged the wee little one. Can't do that in a public school, and it got me to thinking.
I went to a public state school for primary and a private Christan school for secondary. Boarding school in fact. I got a lot out of both experiences.
ReplyDeleteI think you got all the stereotypes bang on. Hilariously accurate as always.
The drugs/money/cars/sex thing was a real eye opener (and no, that's not the bit I got a lot out of personally, just vicariously...)
There's no right or wrong answer...knowing your child and their needs is more important than who imparts the knowledge. Just make sure the knowledge is good quality, so that it becomes wisdom when brought back into your home.
The evolution thing in public schools is overrated. I went through the public system for my entire schooling and remember maybe 2 sessions of material on evolution. Although, then again i didn't pay heaps of attention in science class.
ReplyDelete2. If you send your kid to Private Christian school, they'll eventually go wild if they go to a non Christian college because suddenly they won’t have all the same restrictions they are used to
ReplyDeleteThat one is actually correct. I went to a Christian school and most of the kids who finished school there ended up with peircings and dyed hair and smoke and drink etc.
I found it ridiculous how much innuendo, profanity and such I came into contact with each day at that school. So much for private schoolkids being goody goodies. (This doesn't apply to yours truly of course)
Those are pretty accurate stereotypes, except #3 on the public schools is actually pretty accurate...research shows 80 to 90% of children will walk away from church. Of those, 80% over 80% are from public schools. So, I wouldn't classify that as a stereotype.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, we homeschool...although my husband and I were both public school graduates.
I remember in junior high, asking my mom to homeschool me, because I felt like I didn't fit in at public school...and I saw no hope of that ever changing. She did not grant my request, and now I'm really glad she didn't. My public high school wasn't "bad" - but my class in particular had a high rate of teen pregancy and alcohol/drug use. Anyway, looking back, I'm really glad my parents chose to leave me in that environment, because it taught me to deal with unfair people, those with values different from my own, and many other things that I now deal with on a daily basis. It was much better boot camp for me than homeschool would have been. And if I ever have kids, I do plan to send them to public school.
ReplyDeleteWell I have a curveball. Attend a large evanglical church with a healthy mix of home, public, and christian schooling, but we send our kids to the Catholic K-8 school. First question I got was, "Your husband isn't a Christian?"
ReplyDeleteI'm the product of public elementary school, Catholic junior high, public HS and college. We have decided that we are homeschooling our kids. Why? Public schools in Kenya just aren't that great...
ReplyDeleteI am the product of a public and private school education...mostly public, though. We're homeschooling our kids because we know that's the right decision for our family...I whole-heartedly agree with David, there is no right or wrong answer. Each family has to look at their own kids and decide what is best for the family. :) Your stereotypes are HILARIOUS!!!
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled all the way up to my freshman year of college... and my university has 32,000 students! Sadly some of the homeschool stereotypes are true in the more 'wacko' families... I for my part had no problem with having a social life. My church has something like 2,000 families and a HUGE homeschool group, which was where I connected with my best friends back in my homeschooled days.
ReplyDeleteDavid hit the nail on the head by the way... there really isn't a right answer for all this. Homeschooling worked better for me because I could zip through the subjects I was better at (Math, Physics, etc.) and take the extra time needed for other things that I'm not so good at (writing... :shudder:). I personally think my parents made the right choice to homeschool me.
"2. If you send your kid to Private Christian school, they'll eventually go wild if they go to a non Christian college because suddenly they won’t have all the same restrictions they are used to
ReplyDeleteThat one is actually correct. I went to a Christian school and most of the kids who finished school there ended up with peircings and dyed hair and smoke and drink etc."
Peircings and dyed hair?!?!?! GASP!
Every kid will have their rebellion. For some kids, it will be in high school and for some, it will be in college. It will happen if you go to public school or private. It may not be huge, but it will happen. It's part of the growing up process.
However, I went to a private Christian school and have social issues. They aren't giant and God and I are working through them. But, when you go to a small private school or are homeschooled, there are definitely some trade-offs.
Thanks, this was pretty funny... Don't be afraid to send your child to public school and don't feel guilty. The biggest difference that I see is that there is the potential for your child to become exposed to more faster, and it could leave them feeling numb to certain things, such as homosexuality. But what happens at home is most important. As long as you and your wife are both trying to be the best examples you can and making sure the your child has Godly principles instilled at home, the Lord will take care of the rest.
ReplyDeleteYou missed one set of stereotypes -- for evangelical Christian parents who send their children to Catholic schools -- admittedly, a small minority.
ReplyDeleteAsked where our children went to school, we eventually became proficient as explaining why they were in Catholic schools. Initially, though, our answers were defensive, especially when we'd see the raised eyebrow or the surprised look.
It was much easier for the homeschool and even public school crowd.
Oh the great school debate...
ReplyDeleteI am a product of public school. I never knew anyone who did drugs. I never knew anyone who got pregnant. I never even knew anyone who had sex. Everyone I knew took a full load of AP classes and was in the Math Club. I hung out with my friends: an agnostic, a Hindu, and a Jewish Catholic (dad Jew + mom Catholic + neither parent really caring about religion = confused daughter). All in all I lived a pretty sheltered life when it came to the "big sins".
Church Sunday School was a practice in the "great divide" of schooling. I went to a large church with two Sunday school hours, one corresponding to the contemporary service and one the traditional. All of the private school kids went to the contemporary service and all the public school kids went to the traditional service. Considering contemporary services were made to reach heathen children like us public schoolers, we all thought it was hilarious. However, we also thought the private school kids were mean and holier-than-thou, so we took our hymns with a smile and a happy heart.
By the way number 3 on the homeschool chart is true. All of my homeschool friends (all = three different sets of homeschool familes) would go on these great awesome vacations in February or October so they would not have to deal with normal vacation crowds.
Homeschooled in high school. Went to a small Bible college in the woods. Ha! But seriously, a whole lot depends on what part of the country you're in.
ReplyDeleteI worked in a public school this last year as a sports coordinator; blue-collar town, nothing really outrageous. I could easily send my kids to the school... probably quicker than the average Christian school, which just seems to be a hot bed for hypocrisy (which, frankly, is a strong possibility in America no matter what you do).
Depends on who and where you are...
I went to Christian school for 12 years, and there's some truth to some of the stereotypes. In my experience, at least, there's two types of students (in general) at Christian school: the "lifers" who attend for 12 years, often because their parents insist on it/work at the school, and the kids who've got kicked out of public school, and are at Christian school so the teachers can reform them (so their parents hope), before juvenile hall has to. Also, teachers' kids tend to be awful.
ReplyDelete(my mother is the only staff member at my school who, when I graduated, had been there before I was)
My older kids go to public school and I homeschool my younger two. Actually my third son is returning back to homeschooling this fall.
ReplyDeleteEvery child is different and they all have individual needs. I didn't consider homeschooling with my older two. I was in a different mindset, different life situation with working, etc. They turned out pretty darn good....they are on fire for God and get this....they have piercings and tattoos too! GASP! My oldest has PHILIPPIANS 4:13 stamped down his forearm and other references to how much he loves God on his wrists....The two of them are 16 and almost 18 and you can find them every two to three times a week at church with youth groups, helping out, etc. Are they goody goody perfect, heck no. Will they/have they possibly experiment in not so Christian things....I hope not, but I have confidence (in God) that they have been given the tools in life to make their own decisions and know that they will be held accountable for them. They are both very popular in the public high school and yes, there are gangs and violence. But I know that God has a plan for them to be the light in a dark place too. They are strong enough in their beliefs to witness to others and not cower to peer pressure.
As far as my younger two....we are enjoying homeschooling and will continue to do so until we see the need to change. If you talk to homeschoolers, you will see that with all the activities/groups....it is really hard to just stay "home". I have a bumper sticker that says "warning: unsocialized homeschoolers on board" Gets a few laughs.
Our church has a high school that we might consider....the public school has an agricultural program that my middle son might want to attend when he is entering ninth grade. With this economy, who knows....I might have to return to work.
So for now, we are taking it year by year.
Jon,
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
Jon, that's really unfair to ask a question like that. You know that no one who's homeschooled can get to your blog on account of having the word "stuff" in the title.
ReplyDeleteMay God guide and bless you and your wife as you raise and educate your precious children.
ReplyDeleteFun post. Clearly you have given a lot of thought to the alternatives.
Funny stuff Jon.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school my whole life, besides being home-schooled for a year and a couple months because of short term mission trips my family went on. I thought that the public school forced you to choose your faith and stand up for it or slide away. My siblings kind of went both ways, but are now all back in church and faithful. I think it depends on the personality of the child actually as to which would be best for them.
Hilarious post! This is really a big deal, Jon. Decisions for your kids are so gut-wrenching! I totally respect each parent's right to make the best choice possible for their child's education. Both of ours went K-12 in public school and are now attending public universities and thriving. Both are also involved in ministry and show no signs of walking away from their faith. God bless, Jon.
ReplyDeleteI've managed to get myself into a rather annoying variation on this theme.
ReplyDeleteI'm a public school teacher. And a Christian. We've made the decision to home school our eldest.
I can't decide which is more fun: being Satan incarnate to my brothers and sisters in Christ for being a public school teacher, or being Satan incarnate to my colleauges for homeschooling.
I went to public school up until I was a sophomore in high school then i went to a christian school (on my own request) I stayed there for my sophomore and junior year. My closest friends at the christian school were older so when they graduated my junior year, I decided to go back to public school for my senior year. (I regret that decision). I was raised very strong in church but my parents had a lot of focus on my brother during my teenage years due to a lot of stuff he was dealing with and I apparently needed more structure. I wasn't a wild one but my friends started partying so i ended up being designated driver and guys were pressuring me all the time. My years at the christian school was exactly what I needed. I personally needed the chapel time and to be in a christian enviroment. I, for some reason was very naive and not as strong willed as I needed to be. I doubt your children will have that problem but i must say for myself that at this paticular christian school I went to, it was by far, exactly where I needed to be and wish I had graduated from there. The school was small as far as maybe 50 people in my class and you are just about guaranteed one if not 2 scholarships upon graduating. I would have had more opportunities staying put in the christian school.
ReplyDeleteI was in school 10 years ago though. I'm stuck on what I'll do with our son. I'm leaning toward christian school but we are still praying for guidance on that one.
I went to public school from kindergarten all the way through twelth grade. There were some areas were I could have gotten a better education but overall it was a good experience. I taught at a small Christian School last year and the kids that I worked with at lots of issues. One problem was that some of the kids were very prejudice against other races, religions, and other things. I know that this is not true of every private school but I felt like these kids needed a reality check. The main thing though is to choose what is right for you some areas have good public schools and some don't. Some private schools are good and others aren't. Homeschool and be done well or it can be terrible. You have to find what works for you.
ReplyDeleteMy city was an interesting one when it came to schooling situations. Unlike most cities, the high schools ran from grades 7-10 with a massive public school and a very expensive private school covering grades 11-12. This meant that most of the kids who had been in Christian schools for all their schooling tended to be forced into the big public school. It seems it was a culture shock to many. Many kids from Christian school they weren't in a hurry for the segregation to stop. They would sit at the same benches every lunch time with a group of former christian-school kids. As long as anyone could remember those had been the Christian kids benches. We couldn't drag them away from there, even for the prayer meetings (organized by people who went to public junior highschools)
ReplyDeleteI don't feel guilty at all for having the plan to send our daughter to public school. We came to that conclusion because of our strong belief in Homeschooling Stereotype #2.
ReplyDeleteAll my friends from youth group went to public school and we turned out fine. Now, let me finish this comment so I can quickly return to my crack and whore house I've been running.
I went to public school all of my life and now teach at a Private Christian school. My wife went to private Christian school and then taught in a public high school. One of the interesting things that we noticed having had opposite experiences is that, in many ways it is easier to be a solid Christian in public school.
ReplyDeleteIf you are in a public school, diversity of cultures and ideas is encouraged, as is faith. It's certainly not faith in Christ and the Christian God that's encouraged specifically, but all students are encouraged to hold to some values. So long as you are not offensive with your views, you are encouraged to share and express them.
In many Christian schools, however, being a strong Christian is looked down upon. The general view is that, if you are acting like a strong Christian, other students will tend to view you as "towing the party line," or "a kiss-up." I am not saying that this is true for all Christian schools, but it is certainly a danger worth considering.
One other thing that I'd like to say about Christian school verses public school: if I send my child to public school, I know that they are going to receive teaching that is contradictory to what I believe and what the Bible teaches. I can therefore show the child in scripture why we believe what we believe. If they attend a Christian school, there is still a good chance that they will be taught concepts contradictory to scripture. Unfortunately, they will be taught those concepts through the use of scripture (taken out of context and misused), making it that much more difficult to "unteach" what's been taught.
That's why you should all move to York, PA and send your children to my school, where only correct doctrines are taught and it's cool to be a Christian.
My husband and I are products of the public school and we came out ok. Even from the highschool that was labeled the "Heroin Capital of PA." Although, I spent most of my elementary years with severe school anxiety...throwing up every morning before school.
ReplyDeleteHowever, we do homeschool our kids. Actually, technically not "homeschool" as we use the state funded virtual schools (which is a whole other debate that diehard homeschoolers get REALLY fired up about). But our kids are schooled at home. I hate how Christians automatically assume that we must be uber-spiritual because we homeschool. The "fundamental" homeschooler is all people can imagine. We cut our hair, wear pants and gasp...even have a drink or two every now and then (hubby and I, not the kids ;-)
We live in an excellent school district...one of the top in the state. Many people don't understand our decision to keep them out. But we also live in an area where the median income is $140,000/year (and we are WAAAAAY below that...lol). The competition is insane! Our oldest attended K in the public school and was criticized for not wearing the right clothes...in Kindergarten. That's when we decided it just wasn't worth it.
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ReplyDeleteHah, those were hilarious! I am a public school grad & proud of it.
ReplyDeleteI learned about evolution and did not have an abstinence-only sex ed. Over half of my friends were non-Christian. I feel like all of this gave me the ability to interact in the real world, to be friends with students of all economic situations, backgrounds, and religions. I think it only made me stronger in my faith. In private schooled and especially home schooled students (not all, but MANY that I know), I have seen ignorance of the real world (and the moon landing!), extreme disrespect toward any opinions about anything EVER that disagrees with what they have learned at home, and often prejudice toward students of other religions, political beliefs, and backgrounds.
That isn't true of all homeschooled and private schooled students, but I have seen it enough that it has scared me into never putting my child in either one of those situations, at least in my home town!
The clincher was when a concerned parent was talking to me about my public school experience, and when I said, "Well, it's not like kids are popping out of every corner and pressuring others to use drugs. No one has even asked me if I wanted so much as a cigarette, and I can't imagine that they would have minded if I said no." Her eyes widened in disbelief: "Really?!"
Small town public school was a great experience for me. Having grown up in the town, classmates knew my faith and it wasn't an issue. I think I even managed to skate through without actually being taught evolution. There was the typical teen pregnancy, drinking and pot smoking, but it wasn't like anyone was gonna hold you down in the classroom and pour beer down your throat. I think parents have to remember that ultimately how their kids turn out is a much bigger reflection on their family life and expectations at home than where they attended school.
ReplyDeleteI will say the local Christian schools where were all the kids who got kicked out of public school went! So was definitely interesting to talk to friends who were in Christian school.
This is hilarious! Where I work almost everyone home schools or sends their kids to Christian schools, so yep, sometimes I've felt guilty for sending the kids to public school. Oh, and there is also that little suggestion from people that if you were really diligent and really cared enough to make sacrifices, you would somehow overcome your financial obstacles to homeschooling.
ReplyDeleteI would love to homeschool because I think public schools focus far too much on tests and can be really boring. But, the way evangelical Christians dominate all the homeschool groups around here also turns me off.
We're choosing public school for our kids (when a growing number of our friends are choosing private or homeschool). I was a room mom last year for our son's class and so many of the kids I talked to came from broken homes. My husband and I talked about this and realized that our family can possibly be a light for Jesus in this little school district. Academically, the schools are rated excellent and we're confident we can give our kids a good Christian foundation outside of school. So right now, they're in public school and we're praying they're touching the lives of their classmates. This could all change, obviously. :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome post. Again. Thought-provoking. Again! I've been all over the place in agreeing with almost all those stereotypes you've listed. I'm a public school librarian in a mid-sized town. We didn't want to spend money on the Christian School. We didn't want to give up my salary so we could homeschool--along with the car and house and microwave and food and stuff.(sounds like we're shallow, I know!) Our two very best, awesome science teachers are pro-evolution and intellectualism. Our children have had terrible teachers who are very nice Christians. We've made a huge effort to teach our kids to be a light in a dark world, be polite and respectful when taught something contrary to our beliefs (i. e. evolution) and just learn it and pass the test with an A please! We've dealt the the issues of too much knowledge about moral issues at too young of an age. But both of our daughters are spiritual leader in their schools--Our oldest at a liberal (extremely!) arts college and our youngest at our public High School.
ReplyDeleteMake the best decision for you and your family and your are your child's best teacher for 'all that stuff' people worry about from the public schools!
@Kristy K I love that you see your kids as being able to make an impact on the world around them through public school :) What a great way to view the experience.
ReplyDeletehere in Lynchburgm the rave is Christian school...LCA (@Thomas Road) or several of the christian academies in the area. we public school. i haven't felt guilty as much as i have stereotyped the others at times. reading your list brought some of those to light. i think they all have their merits and you have to use your wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for a short while and I really enjoy it. These stereotypes are right on and funny.
ReplyDeleteI went to private school until the middle of 8th grade, then switched to public. I cried every day the first week of public. Soon, however, I had found lifelong Christian friends in the public school who helped me grow in my faith. It seems the Christians in the public school were more excited about living for Jesus than the Christians in my private school.
My husband and I attend a church where somewhere between 70 and 90 percent of the families home school. We do not homeschool our kids. Most the families are nice about it (and would probably laugh at your post the way I did), but there are a few who say (and I fear even more who think but don't say) things like "if you love your kids you will homeschool them." Ouch. That one always hurts.
Growing up I attended various Catholic and public schools. Many of my friends attended private Christian schools. We sent one of our children to a private, non Christian school and the other to a public school. Most of their friends attended private non Christian schools. I taught in a public school. In my experience any school where parents are involved is a good school. Period. Public, private, Christian or not. Any school where the parents are not involved is not a good school. Period. Public, private, Christian or not. It really is that simple.
ReplyDeleteMan, oh MAN, do I know what you're talking about! I had guilt for years that I didn't want to homeschool. Christian school was not an option--we couldn't afford it.
ReplyDeleteOne wise, homeschooling friend said to me, "You do what you feel God calls you to do. Why would He have everyone do the same thing?"
We did end up doing some part-time homeschooling, but our kids have attended public school the majority of the time. Our oldest graduated last year and his faith is stronger than I imagined it could be at 19.
We found public school to be helpful in teaching our kids how to deal with differing ideas while they were still under our roof. Their struggles in school opened up all kinds of good dialogue about swearing and sexuality and respect and bad choices--not only evolution.
We feel public school has made our kids stronger because they have wrestled with the differences in their faith and the world their whole lives. They know how to do it. They have slowly learned how to stand up for their faith.
You do what you feel God has called you to do, Jon, ashamedly and assuredly.
I went to Catholic private schools up through high school. The high school was the "hotbed of hypocrisy" that a previous poster mentioned - some teachers and clergy included. That's where I became an atheist, and was one for 16 years. ( I am now a Christian, thanks to a coworker's love and patience.) I think it's important to tell your kids that not everyone who professes to be a Christian really is one - no matter what school ( or church activities) you send them to.
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled all the way through, and your list of stereotypes had me laughing! # 2 is especially funny to me, because when I was a young girl, I was the bravest out of all my friends (most of them were public schooled) when it came to things like public speaking, or talking to a stranger, asking for directions, whatever. I had more contact with people outside my age group because I was homeschooled, not despite it.
ReplyDeleteI plan on homeschooling my children, but in no way do I look down on parents who choose otherwise. All kids and all situations are different, no person is called to do the same things as someone else. Otherwise, we'd all be preachers and missionaries.
I went to public school. It was hell. I never want to send my children to one. Of course, people meet me and think, "He went to public school and turned out okay." Um, no, I didn't. You just don't know me well enough to know how going there screwed me up.
ReplyDeleteHuge hot button among myself and many I know right now. I am a public school teacher and my kids go to public schools. I basically agree with the idea of do what is best for your child and your family but.......stop making it a "spritual issue". Homeschooling and private school does not equal wonderful Godly chilrden and public schooling does not equal "spawns of satan". Seriously, think through your decisions carefully and wisely, make sure you are doing what is right and good for your kids and not what someone else has pressured you into. By the way the stereotypes are too fuuny, and some of them too true!
ReplyDeletewow, hot topic.
ReplyDeleteI went to 2 year of private school when my parents were station in Guam. This was preferable to the DoD school, but the rest of my life I attended public schools. My sister, on the other hand, has never attended public school. I don't know why my parents handled us differently, but they did.
Right now my kids are in private school. The church I pastor at has a school and my kids get free tuition as part of my salary package. My wife and I are actually trying to decide when to pull them from the private school and put them in public school. I feel like they need to be in public school at some point to be a light on a hill top.
I know there are kids in private school that need the light, but honestly they are exposed to it via the school system. I believe the public schools around here need more strong Christians.
I believe that a parent that invests in their child will see the child prosper equally well in any school system.
We constantly are made to feel guilty because we are homeschooling. We have lots of reasons for homeschooling, none of which are in the stereotype list!
ReplyDeleteBut i loved the list!!!
I actually know home-schooled kids who are 10 times more open and social than I ever will be.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately all the kids I knew who went to Christian schools came out atheist. Go figure.
I'm a product of public and private education. Both were fine and both had their own set of issues. If parents think they protecting their kids from "the world" by sending them to a private Christian school they have another thing coming. My private highschool and university had drugs, sex, drinking, etc. However, I did get a much better education at the private schools. Just sayin'. I'm not a parent but I would encourage parents to take an active role in their child's spiritual development. If you model Christ to them, and seek every opportunity to raise them right, they'll thrive in any environment. Don't depend on the schools to raise your child :)
ReplyDeletethis may be my favorite post ever! we are sending our boys to public school, and i'm really fine with our decision - it's what is best for us - but i definitely know where you're coming from!
ReplyDeletei have a neighbor who has made some ridiculous comments regarding public school kids knowing that mine will be attending (her little angels go to lutheran school). very christian of her, don't you think?
homeschool #2-- being socially stunted, it's possible- I've seen it with my own two eyes. I knew two families that went to the same mega-church who homeschooled their children. The mega-church provided a parent's network and "classes" and sports for all the little homeschoolers. Each family had a son that was the same age. Once they grew up and were college aged was when I met them. I had no idea that they had similar upbringings. One was cool and hip and "with it" while the other was that guy who just made you cringe b/c of his lack of social skills. And they were both homeschooled, the entire way, during the same period of time, with similar programs and opportunities.
ReplyDeleteAs for me. I was sent to private school. Not a Christian one, however. Just private. But that's because the school system where I grew up was atrocious!! I went to my school from 2nd grade until graduation. It was neat because we didn't have the restrictions that a public school would have, so in biology class, when we studied evolution, we didn't exactly study creation at the same time, but my biology teacher put it into perspective really well. She said, "Ok, this is what the book says about evolution, but I'll tell you from my personal experience, it's much easier to believe that there's something bigger out there responsible for creating all of this than to believe it all just randomly and haphazardly happened." She wouldn't have been able to say that in a public school.
My brother, on the other hand... because the public schools sucked, he got bounced around to several different schools because he couldn't get into the school I went to. He went to a Lutheran elementary school... then a baptist affiliated middle school that my parents eventually took him out of because their ideas of "punishment" were warped, he went to a teeny tiny private school that only went up to 8th grade and finished out high school at a Catholic school. The Catholic school was everything the stereotype might want it to be. Rich kids, druggies, messed up in public school, etc.
Looking at us now, in our late 20's and early 30's... who turned out better? It's hard to say, but while my faith is a struggle for me daily, I'm not sure my brother is concerned with his at all. :-( But I don't think our choice of schools had much to do with that.
great topic today!
I actually homeschool my kids and probably the only stereotype that was correct was vacationing whenever we want. We totally do that, unfortunately, I always seem to make it a field trip. You just can't seem to get away from it. Although I do make sure each child gets to do something fun and non educational of their choice. LOL My oldest is now in college and working in computers, although I have to say there is one drawback. They tend to hit the rebellious stage a little later than most, mine hit when he turned 18. Not sure why that is, but that's how it happened with us. We do have several friends whose kids go to public school and are so strongly rooted in their faith and values they do just fine and even one of them is going to Bible college this fall. Although we homeschool, it's not the best choice for everyone. I homeschool the children because they asked for it. we did have the kids in public for a time but they weren't good schools and did have gangs. It was the final straw when a teacher threw a desk across the room. But that was one teacher and one school. I think for the most part, the teachers care about children and try their best to educate them.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school and my husband was home schooled and I always give him a hard time! My pastor dad didn't have nearly enough money to send his 6 kids to private schools and mom mother worked so she couldn't home school, and they really did get a lot of "you must be horrible parents letting your children go off into the evil world like that."
ReplyDeleteBut of the 6 of us, only 1 of us did the whole "falling away" thing... yours truly. So you can go to public school, still fit in, and not be completely tainted by the world. great post!
Indoctrination occurs regardless of where the schooling takes place.
ReplyDeleteI feel it is the parents' responsibility to know what their children are learning at school (be it public, private, or in co-op classes), and actively discuss it at home.
This then provides a well-rounded education that promotes critical thinking in areas where what is taught may not agree with a person's belief system.
i fit all of these! i was homeschooled for kindergarted & 8th grade, private christian school for 1-7th, and public school for high school.
ReplyDeletethe christian school i went to was really fundamentalist and extreme--no pants for girls, any secular music was from the devil, if you were a cheerleader you had to sign and contract saying that you would not wear pants in public or go to movies...crazy. it was good for early elementary, but by the time i got older all the kids were rebelling and got really mean. the majority of my friends who stayed there ended up on drugs, in homosexual relationships, or pregnant out of wedlock. i got a good base of memorizing scripture and books of the bible, though.
my 8th grade year of homeschool we had a group of other homeschooled teens and would get together for drama class, go do things in the community, etc...it was fun and socially rewarding.
high school at a public school was great! my school was actually very conservative and teachers taught creation along w/evolution. my physics prof did a demonstration to prove the existance of God. we had small-ish classes, i made good friends, and led fca. i had friends who partied and did drugs in high school, but i think so much of it just depends on how you are raised at home. while at our super-strict christian school my parents were careful to remind us not to be legalistic and to explain that we didn't believe all those things. in high school i was level-headed enough to make good choices and surround myself with people with similar values. throughout my adolescence, church was my primary social outlet.
I can't think of a brilliant comment to add, but as a fellow soon-to-be-sending-our-child-to-public-school Christian parent, I can only add a hearty "Amen."
ReplyDeleteI had the unique experience of having a smattering of all three styles. I attended public school through elementary school; then I was homeschooled for 6th and 7th grade; finished out 8th through 12th at a small classical Christian school (I graduated with just 6 others!) and attended William & Mary for college.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite thankful for the education path upon which my parents set me in my grade school days. They knew me well enough to know what I needed at different times in my life. Upon entering college, I was ready to encounter all the different situations that I did over four years. If I had to pick a favorite experience of the three, I'd pick small private school. If it's done right, it can be an awesome experience.
I didn't read all the comments, but laughed over the first 20 or so.
ReplyDeleteStereotypes do arise for a reason, but there's always an alternative. We're not a slave to that.
I was homeschooled, first grade through high school graduation, and then went to Pensacola Christian College.
All of the above are not everyone's cup of tea for certain, but I can look back and see specifically how each of those shaped me to be the adult that I am today; they prepared me for experiences and decisions that I'm making.
I was public schooled K-my bachelor's degree. I am now in a graduate program at a Christian school and feel stifled. Faith seems taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteMe? Public grade school, Catholic High School.
ReplyDeleteKids can be mean anywhere.
I just like that you said, "the satan". Hahaha... it isn't really funny, but it made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I both went to public school and we are both public school teachers, so our kids go to public school. When I was growing up, all the kids who went to private school were the ones who had trouble in public school and we didn't know anyone who was home schooled. I think what goes on in the home is far more important than the school. We were very involved in our church. I never got involved in anything in my public high school and hung around my christian friends, when I went off to my small christian college, I was shocked at what went on there at first and then kind of put my faith on the backburner for a while to join in. I was also about 7 hours away from my friends and family so I feel like that made a difference.
ReplyDeleteWe homeschool. One of our top ten reasons is #3 on the hs list. We go on vacations in the spring and fall when everyone else is back in school, we don't sweat buckets if we ever have to wait in a line, and we get great discounts because businesses are working hard to bring in the same amount of cash they got in the summer.
ReplyDeleteOtoh, we don't public school because that is what I used to do for a living. I saw the products of public school and wasn't willing to chance that with my kids. I don't just mean the "hot" topics. I mean the general below-average products of public school educationally. The AP students I had were like the "college prep" kids when I was a public school student. In order to satisfy parents that America is doing a good job educationally, we dropped so much course content that the kids don't stand a fighting chance of getting a solid education. Since the last was so oxymoronic, I'll explain-they dropped course content in order to do more standardized testing (which only proves how well kids can take a test, not what they've learned or know). Sorry, bit of a rant there.
Re the socialization stereotype, I want to point out that many homeschooled kids are very awkward socially. But then so are many public and private school kids. Teen awkwardness has nothing to do with schooling. Funny, but my kids are and aren't socially awkward. Put these two boys in a room full of girls and they become bumbling idiots. Put them in a room full of anyone else in any age group and they glide right in, make new acquaintances and start talking to folks. No problems.
I will admit that we are not current with pop culture. My kids have no idea who, well, really, any media favorite would do, they just don't know and I have a difficult time feeling guilty about that. Who truly gives a rip about what the entertainment says is important?
But I do know plenty of moms who homeschool (and a few who don't) who grind their own grain to make bread, make their own laundry soap, make their own diapers and feminine care products, plus their own clothes. They garden, have chickens, milk the goat, blah blah blah. Some of them only wear dresses, others have really long hair and cover it, still others think those last few are silly. And some of the same send kids out to govt school. :o)
One you missed re private school is that yes, it's a Christian education, but none of the other kids are from Christian families-they are all the kids who were expelled from the local public school. All the good kids are homeschooled.
I'm pretty good at getting myself worked up over the fact that if I make the WRONG DECISION about my kids' school, they'll suffer forever! No pressure, Mom!
ReplyDeleteBut the fact that the tuition at my fantasy Christian private school (whose academic and spiritual prowess my friends rave about) would basically equal a second mortgage payment each month pretty much guarantees that my kids will attend the perfectly acceptable public elementary down the street.
Oh and homeschooling is out for me ... I'm a working mom (GASP!). My husband is the stay-at-home parent (DOUBLE GASP!) and I don't think he's into it.
I was homeschooled K-11, then I started college at a local community college at 16.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't fit any of the homeschooling stereotypes, and neither do the majority of my homeschooling friends. (Except maybe any stereotypes involving having a large family.)
I had plenty of opportunities to participate in outside social activities. I did gymnastics, swim team, ballet, horseback riding, guitar, choir.
Many of my friends growing up were neighborhood public/private schoolers.
I never wore a denim jumper.
I don't even know how to sew.
However...there is a reason that those stereotypes are in place. The "extreme homeschoolers" do exist. However, I know public and private schooling families that fit more of those stereotypes than I do...
I think there is good in every kind of schooling, it just depends on your family's needs.
Personally, it is my hope to homeschool my children in the future. Not because I think anything else is inherently bad, but because I value the benefits of homeschooling more than the benefits of public schooling. (A homeschooler just said there are benefits to public school! Sound the alarms!)
I wish more people could reach the point of understanding that this isn't a right for everyone vs. wrong for everyone debate, simply a right for me vs. wrong for me debate.
i went to private christian schools up to 10th grade.
ReplyDeleteI was kicked out of the christian school because I was not getting straight A's like the girls in my class. I went to a school where I was the only boy in a class of 8, 7 girls and me. NO the odds were NOT in my favor as I was a latino kid amidst upper class girls.
Long story how i got there.
I went to public school and then to art school for college.
I will take my kids to public school and hope they get into sports. So that they can get to go to college free. If not, at least I'll let them work the system like I did.
I was a christian in public school more so than when I was surrounded by christianity all the time.
I got to experience all 3 types of schooling. Sterotypes are funny because there's always some truth in them. But I knew plenty of very socially adjusted homeschoolers, drug using private schoolers who knew all the right Bible answers, and public schooled kids who's relationship with Christ was more developed by high school due to the constant battering of it. I've got 3 going on 4 kids and we debated theoretically what to do with them before we had them. It always sounded responsible to send them to a Christian school, homeschooling wasn't going to work for us. But, we live in a city that has a tremendous public school system with a great reputation for academics, athletics and community involvement and has a very diverse racial makeup, something this pasty WASP was never exposed to even at public school. We prayed about it and decided to send them to public schools. So far, we haven't felt conviction to do otherwise. The word stewardship comes to mind: how do I best steward the kids God's blessed me with and how do I steward the $$ God's blessed me with?
ReplyDeleteMy only concern is that my kids get the best education possible. I went to a great public school for K-12 - lots of AP classes, fine arts, sports, etc. and I want my kids to have the same quality of education. If that ends up being private school, fine by me. I sincerely doubt I'll be doing home school, because I have absolutely zero intention of spending my kids' entire childhood as a SAHM.
ReplyDeleteAnother home school stereotype: People who home school their daughters are people who believe that a woman should always be in the home. I'm sure that most of the time this isn't true, but sometimes it is.
You forgot one:
ReplyDeleteIf your kid is getting into all sorts of trouble in public school, you should put them into a Christian school for the last 2-3 years of high school so that they'll "straighten up" before you send them off to college. Or - just send them to a Christian college after they graduate from public high school and they'll suddenly mature.
Having gone to Christian schools for my entire life (including college), I've seen both scenarios from above, and none of them ended well. I'm just sayin'.....
Incredible applicable book: Going Public by David and Kelly Prichard.
ReplyDeleteIt's an incredible encouragement to parents who will be sending kids to public schools and having the best influence on your kids and school as christians.
I went to a private school for the first few years of elementary school, but then because of certain issues, I was homeschooled for the rest of my school experience (except college, of course).
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how often my siblings and I get asked if we have an extracarricular activities or friends - by friends we met through extracarricular activities. Yay stereotypes.
And my family does go on vacation at random times during the year.
Oh boy, do I have a lot to say on this topic! And I'm so glad you brought it up.
ReplyDeleteHow did we make our decision? We prayed . . . a lot. And we felt like God was telling us to put our kids in public school not so much that THEY could be lights, but because WE could. We have met non-Christian parents who have become very good friends. We know our neighbors (!). We even had a Bible study with one couple who was struggling. All people we met through public school. As our kids have gotten older (high school now), they are learning how to shine in a dark world even more. I'm so proud of them.
Our feeling, before making the "public school decision" was that most parents make their decision based on fear. And God is not a God of fear. He's big enough to protect my children in a godless environment (think of Daniel!). I just didn't want to make a decision based on fear.
Finally, I am an adjunct professor at a Christian college. Over the years, I've noticed that my students who came out of our local Christian high school were not as academically prepared for the rigors of college work as the students who came from the public high school. After a while I asked a colleague of mine if she had noticed the same thing, and she very quietly whispered to me that, yes, she had. In my opinion, school is for learning, so if my kids are going to get a sub-par education at a private school, I'm sure as heck going to put them in the public school. I can handle the spiritual part of my kids' education.
I went to public school, took far too many music classes (which could be another entire debate for you) and was in church every spare minute (which could also be a great post). I attended a private Christian college.
ReplyDeleteSent our son to public school, I was PTA president and greatly affected policy on Halloween, getting-in-touch-with-your-feelings time in the counselor's office (the whole class), etc. Son also attended private Christian college.
Summary of thoughts: there are loons everywhere, do your best, stay involved with your kid's life and help him to refrain from carrying around a doll's head with real hair until he moves out. :)
I went through public school, as did my wife. Our daughter is in public school. No guilt whatsoever on anyone's part. And when it comes to college, I'll encourage her to go to a state school, based on my experiences interviewing for teaching positions at "Christian" colleges. Plus, we're part of the Kalamazoo Promise, so public universities in Michigan will be free to us.
ReplyDeleteMy church also has several public school teachers--no guilt on their part, obviously. The high school kids mostly go to public schools, though some go to the Christian High School next door.
I was home-schooled from preschool to 7th grade: I had a "normal" social life and was taught a lot of Biblical principles.
ReplyDeleteI went to a rural public jr/sr highschool from 7th to 12th grade: Didn't get into anything crazy, just the occasional attitude problems that adolescents have. Was a great experience overall. Graduated top of the class, thanks home-school! ;)
I'm now in my last year at a state university: Came here a bit "judgmental"....got over that one quick! We're not here to run other's lives; we ARE here to love them. I made the right decision being in the "real world" learning, working, living like anyone else....but I just happen to love Jesus. Still not living a rowdy life (even after a decade of public education!!) and still being responsible and accountable with my decisions in life.
...I think the right education choice depends on how the parents have raised their child. If the child has been under the microscope all their life, living "perfectly", of course they're going to rebel when they're in the real world (if that ever happens).
Regarding the socialization part of homeschooling, there is a great article analyzing socialization from a teen who was in both public and homeschool.
ReplyDeleteI usually don't post links, but thought this was worth sharing.
http://www.homeschooljungle.com/2009/06/unsocialized-homeschooler/
That was so refreshing to read! I have been homeschooling for the past 9 years but this year, I am going back to work. So we are putting our kids in public school. I am not feeling guilty really but sometimes it does seem like there are Christians who think that they have to homeschool or put their kids in private school because the Bible says so. Where is that in the Scriptures? No where.Unfortunately, that doesn't guarantee that a child will always walk with the Lord if they do. And that all kids who go to ps are going to go down the wrong path. Thank you for your lighthearted stand on the issue.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is close to home. I feel like I'm surrounded by homeschooling families. I do impose all kinds of guilt on my self that has nothing to do with those families. Honestly, I would love to send my kids to the local Catholic school, but there is no way we can afford it. So my kids go to public school. And they are thriving. My husband and I went to public school and came out just fine.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, as usual.
Comparing "public, private, and home" school is a little like comparing "white, black, and yellow" people. Saying "black people are lazy" is obviously racist, so most of don't do that, but most of us say things like "public schools are godless" or "homeschoolers are self-righteous."
ReplyDeleteStereotyping educational models is unlikely to help YOU do a better job of educating YOUR kids. It really doesn't matter whether EVERY OTHER PARENT is a child abusing monster that uses homeschooling to feed their inner lust for psychic dominance. The question is, "Would YOU homeschool your children in a way that pleases God and serves them?"
The ultimate question I ask is this: what will I say to Jesus on the last day? Parenting is the most terrifyingly risky business I know. If all my hopes for my children are shattered and my very worst nightmares come true, I need to be able to face Jesus and say, without undue regret, "Lord, You give and You take away. Blessed be Your name."
Ha ha ha! Glad you hit the stereotypes of all three.
ReplyDeleteAs a homeschooling family, we get all kinds of pressure from other Christian families to send my kids to public school. They work under the assumption that my kids need to be missionaries, and that there is no possible way for us to be involved in the community unless the kids are in public school.
Will have to read comments later. I have no doubt they are awe. some.
I went to a public school but a lot of my friends from church went to a Christian school or were homeschooled. My husband went to a Christian school also. Because of his experience and what my friends say they experienced we are sending our kids to public school. I think that homeschooling can probably work out fine in some cases but I have only seen a couple of what I would call good outcomes. The stereotypes about rebellion and/or social awkwardness seem to be true in my experience.
ReplyDeleteJen R (I cannot figure out how to post and get it to work w/o posting anon).
ReplyDeleteMy parents public schooled us for a few reasons. The main one (PrincipleWarren mentioned this) is that in PS, you assume that what is being taught is contrary to your personal beliefs, and this knowledge is power. You can then "unteach" at home and teach your kids how to defend their faith.
2. Our local CS was VERY affluent, and the money values espoused by the students were not values they wanted us to have.
3. Our local PS provided a much better education, with tons of AP classes, challenging homework, and activities like academic team and science olympiad.
4. There are a lot of very moral and decent non-Christian kids in the public schools.
5. The public schools need as much salt and light as they can get.
All that being said, I completely agree that you need to evaluate what is best for your family and decide, then make no apologies.
Wow. Apparently I'm behind on posting here. I actually have an interesting perspective as I've been on all sides.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school through 3rd grade.
I was homeschooled 4th and 5th grade years.
I went to public school again for middle school (6th-8th grade).
I went to a Christian school for High School years (9th-12th grade).
I went to a Christian university.
I then went back and TAUGHT at the same Christian High School I attended for one year.
I don't have kids, but I have had my share interacting with kids and parents.
In elementary school, there was a vibe in our area that parents should home school if at all possible. If not, then you have other things in life out of order and you should repent.
So, at some point, my parents repented and we tried the homeschool thing. I made it two years, my brother only one. For my 5th grade year, I kind of taught myself as my mom had to go back to work. I made it through 5th grade math, and then another pre-algebra book on my own. But, I wasn't being challenged enough, and I would simply finish my work by noon and play the rest of the day. I do remember that year going to a school for End of Grade testing. I decided to wear my X-men Wolverine shirt so as to blend comfortably with the other kids.
Middle school we learned about evolution. But our teacher was a Christian so she made a point to call it evolutionary "theory" and maintained it was only a theory and still lacked sufficient evidence to be deemed not a theory.
Sex ed came. My parents signed me out of that, and I sat in a library reading while my friends learned about social depravity and birth control. But later in Spanish class, they were all talking about it anyway, and I got the quickie version of it. But let's be honest. Nothing we didn't already know by that point...
My Christian high school was a breath of fresh air. The atmosphere was completely different but the attitudes weren't,nor were the conversations. It felt like relief even though I would still get cursed at, teased. One of my friends was "initiated" onto the football team by having excrement thrown in his face. You know, usual stuff.
What was good was that our class actually had a 180 our sophomore year. We had a spiritual awakening in a sense, and it really was true Christianity. Haven't seen anything like it sense, except in Las Vegas when I worked with some youth one week.
After High School, some of our classmates dropped God, Jesus, and church like last year's vocab book and headed for college life in full swing. A lot of us now though are involved in church ministries all over the place. One is a song writer.
Coming back to teach in the same halls where I was taught, with some of the same teachers that taught me was surreal. The mindset of teens had changed. Their level of spiritual focus had changed. It was at best minimal. Students were having sex, drinking, and voting democrat. You know, all the shock value stuff.
Teachers know this stuff goes on and try to address it in camouflaged ways. Unless a student is caught directly, punishments are divvied out. And students are sly about it.
What's different is that whereas stuff like that had always gone on, the students were now more open about it, and actually proud of their sin. They took pride in their depravity, and how they can get away with things, at their own cleverness.
It was a tough spot for me. I simply wanted to be authentic enough for them to know that I have my flaws to but I don't cling to them. Some got it. Some didn't.
I could go on for hours about it , but I won't. Another time.
"If you homeschool, all the girls have to wear matching long denim jumpers with sneakers".
ReplyDeleteThis, from a homeschooling mom who does NOT own (nor do my daughters) any denim jumpers.
Hmmm. Dodgeball = Natural Selection. Are you sure you can trust gym class? :)
ReplyDeleteI actually homeschool, but you'd be surprised how many people get defensive about their choice to send their child to public school as soon as that is mentioned. Throws me off guard, because I in no way intend to make it sound like any other choice is wrong in my "oh, we homeschool."
Haha!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this one. I went to public school for the first half of my school career and was home schooled for the last half, so this topic is very familiar. I particularly enjoy home school jokes. :-)
At least here in L.A. there's one more option which I've hardly seen mentioned here: Independent (i.e., non-religious) private schools.
ReplyDeleteWe looked at a Christian middle/high school for our son -- a great one that's a sports powerhouse. We loved the teachers, loved the facilities. But the academic admissions standards were shockingly low. (When I asked the admissions director what scores they were looking for on the Independent School Entrance Exam -- on a scale of 1 to 9 -- she said "5s or 6s." I was shocked, and I guess my face showed it. She leaned in and said, "But if we're looking at 3s and 4s, we can talk." Um, no. We were looking at 8s and 9s.)
So we asked our son, "How would you feel about going to a school where most everyone believes the same thing you do?" And, to our surprise, he said "I don't think I'd like it. Where's the debate in that? I like debate."
So we canceled our application there, and ended up sending him to middle school at a private school for highly gifted kids where he was the only Christian in his class (which was 75% Jewish). His Christianity was totally accepted and respected at the school, and for many of the kids there, he got to be the only Christian they'd ever met.
Now he's off to high school at another private independent school, one which some people consider the top non-boarding school in the country. Frankly, you get in by being either (a) rich, (b) famous/well-connected, (c) really smart, or (d) incredibly talented in a specialty field in sports or arts. There are some drugs (the kids have the money for them) and there's sex (the parents have money for abortions), but you know what? Welcome to the real world.
And the amazing thing is, God wants His people there at that uber-elite school just as much as He wants them anywhere else. We (the parents) don't really fit in there socially, but we'll work it out.
And we don't feel guilty at all for not homeschooling (I taught a summer writing program for Christians for several years, and my experience was that too many homeschoolers couldn't put together a well-written paragraph if their lives depended on it. Sorry, but that's what I saw). Nor do we feel guilty for not sending our kids to a Christian school.
To be honest, I don't really understand why anyone *would* feel guilty -- or judgmental -- about school choice, as long as you'd done the best you could for your kids. But maybe that's 'cause I'm from L.A.
Both my sister and I went to the same exact private christian school for our 14 years of education (that would be prek-12).
ReplyDeleteWhile there were definitely some hard times and annoyances, I look back at my time there and am in awe of how God orchestrated it. I think it was the best fit for me. I was always a shy self conscious little girl, but the teachers/staff there really encouraged me, showed me I was loved by christ, and that I had some strong talents that were hidding. From fifth grade and not talking to anyone or making eye contact to my senior year, I was class president as well as bible study leader and national honor society chaplain.
My faith was also strengthened from my years there.. there were many denoms represented, as well as open discussions, and we were encouraged to make faith something personal and searched out, not just because our parents and teachers.
My mom likes to say one thing about private christian school:
"There is still crap that goes down, but less of it."
Atleast at my school.
Now, I was one of the only kids out of 15 grads to go half way across the country to a private but super liberal homofriendly big city university. And, not going to lie, I did rebel a little.. my first boyfriend I met in a bar. GASP. But after a few months of transition and realizing I needed to get my act together, I am back on the right track.. I hope.
If there is a way for me to send my children to private christian school, then I will make every effort to do so. Of course, the choice will be made with some research and wisdom.
I didn't read all the comments - so if this was brought up. Give grace! I did laugh outloud the response someone recieved about catholic school "your husband isn't a christian"......ACH! Christians are such jerks sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI think what is missing here is the parental involvement. That is key regardless of where or how you educate your kids. My sis in law homeschools and her kids don't seem wacky. I and my husband was a public school kid and I'm not wacky. My parents were always involved.
None is right or wrong unless God is leading you towards one or the other and you don't follow.
But no, I don't plan on homeschooling. I would not be good at it.
Oh how I love that some of the comments are enforcing the stereotypes by their attempts to disprove them...silly people :)
ReplyDeleteI am the product of private and public school, and my husband is the product of 13 years of public school, yet we plan to home school. I guess we like to mix things up:)
I was public schooled all the way through. In high school, I was told by a couple parents of my homeschooled friends from church that they didn't want me to hang out with their kids because I would be a bad influence on them...simply because I was public schooled. Funny, I had never drank, partied, smoked, or done drugs. I was a straight-A student, and I was involved in FCA at my school...yet I was obviously still going to be a bad influence on their kids...?
ReplyDeleteYou forgot all the denim skirts and jumpers your wife and daughters will have to own if you homeschool. In addition to making your own bread and having goats in the backyard. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I both went to public schools and state colleges. And we homeschool our 2 kids. And don't own goats OR denim jumpers. And my bread comes from the grocery store. ;)
I attended a small private Christian school in South America that was created primarily for missionary kids for most of my school career, except for a semester of my junior year which was spent in a public school while we were on furlough. For college, I ended up at a Christian university, although I wish I had been brave enough to shoot for a secular university. I know that I do a lot better at shining in a darker environment.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite example of public school craziness is the time I was trying to get to my locker, but was blocked by a full-blown cat fight; these two Latina girls were on the floor, screaming at each other in Spanish and pulling hair. There was literally a circle of students standing around and watching. I had read about this kind of behavior in books like "The Chocolate War" or "Lord of the Flies", but I had no idea it actually happened in real life as there's no way anything like that would ever go down at my small Christian school. It was so awesome.
I went to a church-run kindergarten, and then to public school for grades 1-12, and I've never regretted that. I was part of an active student prayer group, and I was grateful for the diversity and opportunity to learn to live in a world where not everyone is on the same page as I am.
ReplyDeleteI went to a Bible college for my undergrad, which was, again, not a mistake, but it was enough of the Christian school environment for me.
Now, in grad school, I'm at a cutting-edge, experimental, "faith-unfriendly" arts school, because they offer the best training. I'd rather get the highest quality training from the people who do it best than get poor instruction from someone who happens to believe the same thing I do. I make sure I have a strong support system and community elsewhere; school doesn't have to be that place.
I was in public school from third grade until middle school. Then I went to a Christian school for high school and college.
ReplyDeleteSince I'm autistic, the small school environment was better for me, so I did end up thriving in my Christian education despite it being a little below my intelligence level. The benefits outweighed the drawbacks, even though there are times I ask "what if?" However, I actually came out of the whole experience believing in evolution, so I guess the Christian schools didn't do their job. ;)
Also, my faith now is better for it, and I now feel prepared to go to grad school at a large public school. Still, everyone is different, and I know people in public schools whose faith dwarfs mine in every way.
I think the one important thing when transitioning to a public school is to keep an open mind about what you are being taught. I tend to let my faith get rattled when the littlest thing challenges what I have been taught in church, and that shouldn't happen. The majority of these things that are contradicted are not really any basic tenants of the faith, but are just assumptions that "have" to be true (i.e. 7-day creation). If a child is raised thinking that it is not possible for a non-Christian to know anything about the world, and then are forced into a public school for financial reasons, they are going to have a hard time when they think for themselves and realize that this initial assumption is baloney. Their professors/teachers really are smart and they know their stuff. Most just don't see it with Christianity's light. From my observation, this is what causes a majority of brainy kids like me to turn away from the church, or get nothing out of what could be a great education.
In short, the world offers it's fair share of truth about the physical world, and we need to accept that even if it makes us uncomfortable. We know the truth about the spiritual world, and that's all that matters.
When I got around to reading your site today and saw the topic, I expected 584 comments....maybe not as volatile an issue as I thought.
ReplyDeleteIf you're feeling guilty about your choice, then rethink/pray about your choice. I've done 2 of the 3 options you listed and yes, there is a right and wrong for *your* family.
First you have to decide your educational goals for your girls, something like a mission statement and whichever choice promotes those goals, you've got your choice!
waaaaay too many comments to read them all. Jon i like the post but your title has to change. more like: "Feeling prideful about telling everyone that you homeschool or send your kids to a Christian school" cause in my experience, Christians LOVE doing that, And i feel no guilt with not doing that. Actually i feel sorry for the kids who do.
ReplyDeleteAs a public school educator, I want to thank you for sending your child into the local public school. I went to public school and turned out fine, and I'm also now working in the public system... it only becomes a ghetto when people dog it all the time. Your child will have similar challenges in any school. Instead, pray that God will send the right people in her life to lift her up and lead her into her learning in the way He intends.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school and fully intended to send my kids there as well. However, God has called me to live and serve Him in the inner city. When I first moved here, I still intended to send my kids to public school. However, the local high school has a close to 80% drop out rate and the Goddaughters that I am helping raise attend a school that for several years running has ranked as the lowest performing school in the city. The kids in my neighborhood are on average 3 grade levels behind in reading and are still promoted to the next grade. My oldest Goddaughter was recently placed in Special Ed because that would lower the standards for her without having to get her help...and her mom could get more money from the state by have a "special needs" child. My girls attend dances during school hours in which they are encouraged to dress sexy (my girls are still in junior high) and dance to songs like "Lollipop" and others that are so disgusting I can't even list them here(again, these happen DURING SCHOOL HOURS!). When the youngest came home with a packet of "Sex Ed" questions that had been distributed to the entire student body that included questions about things I had never even heard of, I had enough. They will be attending cyber school next fall.
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with public school in general, but I will not send my kids to THIS public school...and unfortunately there are many like it in my area.
I've worked in University admissions. I don't ever want to home school my children - not because the only option is a Bible college in the back woods, but because it does make university applications extremely difficult.
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled all of my life! It worked out great for me, but let me tell you, it's not for every child. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that homeschooling was the final answer. It isn't. I definitely think it's a very Biblical, honorable way to do things, but that doesn't mean it's the only way to raise your kids.
ReplyDeleteIt's so much fun being on the other side of homeschooling, now that I've graduated college and am working. The stereotypes you listed are all so true. No, I wasn't a social outcast. No, I wasn't a genius or a freakishly good speller. I for one would love to revamp the image homeschoolers have built for themselves.
This was a fun read. Some of those stereotypes had me cracking up, especially the public school ones.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school for 13 years, then a 4 year Christian university, and now I'm in seminary. That is what worked for me and my parents.
Public schools, Christian schools, and homeschooling all have their pros and cons; there is no option that is better than the other two. It all depends on what the parents feel is best for the child.
I think that the stereotypes were right on. I was home-schooled, AND come from a large family, so there were plenty of stereotypes going around. I had a good experience being home-schooled: both my parents were teachers, so they really knew what they were doing, and my mom is very organized and dedicated. However I always say that it's not not for everyone, and I don't even know if I'll choose to home-school my own kids someday.
ReplyDeleteThe "socially awkward" stereotype is so true. So many people seem to assume that, even now when home-schooling has so many co-ops and places and that offer classes, sports, and even proms. (need I also say that church is a good place for social interaction?)
Everyone has to make their own decision about their child's education. I think that if a parent is dedicated to, um, parenting, and being involved in their kids lives wherever they get an education, that's the most important factor.
I'm something of an education mutt-- home-schooled for elementary, private Baptist school for junior high, Catholic school for high school, and a Methodist college. And I'm neither Baptist, Catholic, or Methodist.
ReplyDeleteI think that the affiliation of a school-- be it governmental or religious-- has nothing to do with the experience your kids will have there. I know home schooled kids who are still living for God, and I know ones who are sweaty philistines, and the same goes for all the other schools I've attended. People are just people, and putting your kids in a Christian school doesn't give them faith anymore than putting them a garage gives them headlights and 4 wheel drive (stole that from one of my favorite sermon illustrations).
I wouldn't change my education, and I will probably do some similar arrangement when I have kids. I think the whole package has made me a very well-rounded person.
i was home-schooled until my sophmore year of high school... i love my mom but man... enough is enough... but i gotta say that as a result of a lot of one on one time with the "teacher" aka mom, i really did learn alot and was better at most of the basic stuff (reading, writing, math, grammer, etc...) than most of my classmates in the public school system... but that didnt stop me from being a slacker... and yeah also as a result i can spot a fellow "homeschoolie" from a mile away haha...
ReplyDeletep.s please dont blame my current state of gram-crappery (poor grammer) on home-schooling...
Having been through both Homeschool( Grades 1-5, 11-12) and Public (Grades 6-10) at various points in my life so far, at some of your stereotypes are dead on.
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say though, that I think my faith is stronger because of being homeschooled at the younger ages of my life, and having Bible as one of my classes.
I went to public school, public college, and I became a Christian while a crazy public school teenager. I couldn't imagine such an insulated environment, like being in church every day, when I was a teen... mainly because 45% of the teens in youth groups are jerks, much more than the usual. I probably would be totally turned off.
ReplyDeleteI ascribe to the theory that Christians are like Fertilizer... spread around, they make things grow, but together, they just stink.
When my oldest (now eight) was a baby, a casual acquaintance who did not even attend my church said, "You're going to homeschool, of course."
ReplyDelete"No," I said. "I'm not."
"You're a certified teacher; of course you're homeschooling."
"No," I repeated. "I'm not."
Ever since that conversation with Madame Busybody, I really don't care how other people judge the decisions my husband and I make for our children's education. My husband has a Ph.D. and I have a Master's, so I sure as heck don't feel I have to defend the choices we make. Do I feel GUILTY? 8-0! Are you suffering Skittles Delirium?
Mr. Five starts public kindergarten next month--and I'm proud of it!
My husband likes to tease me because I was homeschooled K-12, yet I am a public school teacher. Weird.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think homeschooling is beneficial for some, but few, and was not beneficial for me. My brother and I were homeschooled because my mother was unhappy with her public school experience (she had a learning disability that was not addressed in the 60's) and she wanted us to not end up pregnant or on drugs by middle school...
I feel I was confined by homeschooling and could have received a better education elsewhere, but that belief is specific to my circumstance. Still today at the age of 24, I occasionally feel socially awkward, and regularly feel athleticly awkward, even though I was involved in many homeschool sports teams. (is athleticly a word??)
I will send my future children to public or a charter school. I personally refuse to homeschool. The private schools around me are all either $20,000 a year (no thank you!) or have low standards for education.
I truly believe that no matter where you send your kids to school, the deciding factor for faith, morality, and success in school is almost always their parents. The more the parents are active in their children's lives, faith, and education, the more likely their children will turn out well. As a teacher, in almost every parent conference that I have because of an academic or behavior issue, the parents are not actively involved in their lives.
Indoctrination occurs regardless of where the schooling takes place.
ReplyDeleteI feel it is the parents' responsibility to know what their children are learning at school (be it public, private, or in co-op classes), and actively discuss it at home.
Yes, yes, YES! I went to a Christian school and was taught some very messed-up things about sex and sexuality. Basically we were told that if a person/couple sinned sexually, it was all the woman's fault because women are too tempting for men to resist. I was pulled aside many times and told that my outfits were immodest (even though they fell within the bounds of the dress code) because I had "more breasts than the other girls" (I developed pretty early) and that if some boy was looking at me, God would punish me for making him think about sex.
Hello, body issues! For many, many years I've had sex and image issues because of the awful things the men AND women taught me there. And my parents never knew because I never told them. I never told them because they never asked!
I was a public school kid who went to a tiny private christian college. Having been public schooled myself and wanting to be a band director (which, let's be honest, most tiny christian schools don't have outstanding music programs) I want to teach in a public school. My History and Philosophy of Education class was debating evolution one day--it's place in the classroom, how it should be taught where, if religion should be taught in school, etc, etc. I raised my hand to share that I didn't really think this was going to be a huge issue for my future music classes, but I think in a public school classroom, students should just get a brief overview: "these major religions exist and here's an idea of what they think. This is what evolution is, here are the concrete examples of it and here's the theory for the rest of it. Go decide for yourself." At which point my prof asked me what I thought should be taught in christian schools... and in a room of mostly home-schooled and private-schooled peers, I definitely said "Oh, I don't really care what happens in christian schools. I'm not teaching there."
ReplyDeleteYeah. I was really popular after that.
Constance wrote "Every kid will have their rebellion. For some kids, it will be in high school and for some, it will be in college. It will happen if you go to public school or private. It may not be huge, but it will happen. It's part of the growing up process."
ReplyDeleteI think that is a really dangerous mind set to assume that kids will inevitably rebel. I am an example that your assumption is false. I'm sure there are plenty out there like me.
As a DoD student & public school student, I asked my parents to homeschool me when I reached 8th grade. I was in a "great" school district but that status didn't account for the early loss of my innocence by what I was exposed to (that was seen as 'boys will be boys'). They kept me in public school and I am not thankful as another commenter wrote. Not only that, but I still feel my education there was seriously lacking. Maybe that has something to do with being called stupid by a teacher in front of the class. "Great" school.
Homeschooled! :) I'm so excited when people can't tell... esp. when the hearthrob next to me in my college class can't tell ;) I am grateful to have been homeschooled, and very grateful to have (hopefully!!) avoided many of the stereotypes that come with this form of education (overachiever headed for homeschool Harvard, or never-showers-what's-a-tv-can't-spell-my-name-right-prairie-girl)! I have two scholarships and a 4.0 gpa, but I'm spell-checking like crazy right now and calculators are my best-best-best friend :} Also I freeze if asked to tell the time on a non-digital clock in front of watching people... (AHHHH which hand it which???? AHHHH I look dumb!!! AHHH-I,I, oh, they're gone... 2:32pm..."
ReplyDeletelol btw this is not a homeschool thing, my sister and my zillion ex-homeschooled friends at my church are very intelligent and have no trouble telling time... haha I better post this anonymously :}
Homeschooling has its ups and downs, but if you're doing it for the glory of God, not for yourself or to please others, it can be a good thing! I hope to homeschool my kids, but would not have a problem with putting them in a school (if my husband wanted to. yes I believe in (godly, not slave-ish) submission to your own husband. and drinking with wisdom. and ironic tattoos. on other people... yukky on me ;)
-a girl who used to be homeschooled
My dad was the principal of the Christian elementary school I attended. I went to a Christian middle/high school, too. Then I got a college degree from ASU, one of the nation's top party schools.
ReplyDeleteIn Christian schools I learned a lot of essential truths about Jesus that have stuck with me. The challenge for me has been legalism. I sometimes tend to find myself focusing on my behavior rather than my relationship with Jesus.
I will say that many of the most important relationships in my life were developed through my Christian high school and have lasted. It was great for me. It wasn't a good environment for my brothers, though. Depends on the kid I think.
Also, Arizona has a neat program called ACSTO which promotes Christian school tuition funding through tax credits. Perhaps other states have similar programs?
Pray for your kids and teach them to thrive in whatever environment they are in.
I have to say that I went to both the public school system here in Canada and then to a public university before I went to a private christian university for my masters (secular schools don't offer M.Div programs) and I don't regret either. Public school was hard on me but I also learned a lot about my faith and the world there and public university was great because I got into a great Christian group there was able to reach out to those around me and grow myself in fact I have found kids that go to Christian schools actually tend to be more stunted in their faith because it has never been strengthened by being challenged or pushed at all.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am a product of a public school raised by Christian parents. My parents couldn't afford to send me to a private Christian school, and even if they could have, the only Christian school in our town didn't accept blacks (in the '80's no less!). They didn't accept blacks because they claimed the Bible said that blacks and whites should not mix. So I'm glad that I had God-fearing parents who taught me about God and the Bible, and these teachings kept me through public school, college, and life. I'm not a parent, but I know that the decision is up to the parents, and what works best for their child. Thank you for making a controversial topic funny.
ReplyDelete@Alida --
ReplyDeleteGood for you for going to CalArts! (And thanks for the link to your blog.) I agree totally, when you have (and want to develop) a specialized talent, you need the best training, regardless of the religious affiliation, or lack thereof, of the school.
I am a working screenwriter here in Hollywood, and a professor at USC's film school (the best in the world, she said modestly), and I am so tired of seeing Christians who think that they don't need to work hard to excel in their craft because God is on their side. (On the flip side, I rejoice on those few occasions when I see a Christian whose craft is good enough to get in to USC!... Like the USC film school alum who just won a student Oscar, and just happens to be a Christian.)
So knock 'em dead at CalArts, Alida! If you were good enough to get in there, you made the right choice to go there. There are a *lot* of believers here in the entertainment industry, and you will find a lot of support and encouragement when you finish school, if you just look for it...
Oh, I thought of a stereotype:
ReplyDeletekids going to Christian school assuming that public schooled kids cannot possibly have a strong faith or know much about the Bible b/c they dont go to chapel 4x a week.
The other Christian school stereotype is the kids at youth group who dont bring their Bible because they "left it in their locker" and think that makes them sound super-holy.
Or, if you go to a state college, you must be a real heathen. Never mind that a ton of universities have Christian fellowships on campus.
Or that you are public schooled b/c your parents just havent thought through their options, sacrificed enough to afford it, or care enough about their kid's future.
Oh yeah, re being salt and light in govt schools-we've had Bible class and Scripture memorization since they 5 & 6 and neither of them is saved. Just bcause we are doenst necessarily mean they will be. Since they aren't saved, then they can hardly be salt and light. :oD
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your post! Someone had put it on Facebook which is how I found it. I have heard most of those stereotypes. Ironically, I found another one in the comments section. Someone said that is their child got hurt in a public school setting, the teacher couldn't/wouldn't comfort them like in private school. I teach in a public school (kindergarten), and I haven't had any problems with comforting my kids when needed. I have never had the desire to homeschool or send to a Christian school...we have four kids. And all four have been fine in public schools. If later I feel like there are issues, I will gladly do what I need to. Oh, and I have taught in both private and public schools. There were definitely some pluses for private, like being able to talk openly about God (though a lot of my kids do in public school...I just can't say much). At the same time, I have felt a lot more parental support in public school. Anyway, I always encourage anyone to explore their options and do what is best for their family, whatever God has laid on your heart (which may not be the same as on other's hearts). Sadly, I have felt some condemnation in the church setting, maybe some imagined, some not so much. But I feel like we are doing what God has called us to do, and for that, I am not ashamed.
ReplyDeleteI was public schooled all the way from kindergarten to my 5th year of college (it's not that uncommon).
ReplyDeleteI always said that I was going to public school my kids if and when they come around to existence. Sure the education system in AZ is like 48th in the nation (it would've been 50th if not for Stacy from Louisville teaching sex ed here), but if it weren't for Christians going to public schools, I wouldn't be one today.
In the end, I think people getting saved is worth more than knowing big words or who the 17th president was.
So right on with these!! But you forgot the if you homeschool your kids your wife will become some sort of saint. On the women's side if you say you want to homeschool your kids its like saying you want to follow in Mother Theresa's footsteps :)
ReplyDeleteI went to public school and think I turned out better than ok...maybe a little nerdy but love Jesus more than anything. My sister is going to a private Christian school and I know it is the best place for her but man oh man Christian school is NO different. Kids are still jerks and I could bet that they are getting into the same trouble public school kids get into.
So you made the right choice in my opinion!! Your little one will learn about Jesus from her God-loving parents and church...perfect!
Well, this is obviously a subject of great interest! Now I have to put in my 2 cents worth. . . I was no remotely close to homeschooled. I went to about 10 different schools in all ( one christian, one catholic and the rest public). For me it has all come down to what my heart longs for. I did stupid things. I played the line (pastor's kid, mild partier. . .) But the core of it comes down to Jesus. Not acting good, but receiving all my goodness from Jesus.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, I am choosing to homeschool for a variety of reasons. The primary reasons being that there is no montessori school around, and I want my children's earliest, most formative years to be based on learning by living life, not achieving good grades or trying to please God. That is why I could likely never send my child to a christian school or most church gatherings for that matter. Because the emphasis is on being a good Christian, or getting good grades, or instilling good values. Let me tell you, if you know what Jesus has done for you and that He has done it for you then your actions follow - as a Result. I just want my kids to have the privilege of pretty much what would be termed unschooling. I want them to be able to question why we do the things we do, why we believe the things we believe and the origin of these thoughts and ways.
As you can see, I don't want to do something just cause it is the expected norm. If I feel I need to send my kids to public school for some reason, then I will. There is no law dictating movement. I just ask Him to let me know the best direction for now. It's quite freeing and fun that way. Ultimately, my greatest longing for my children (and everyone else for that matter) is to fall in love with Jesus and move from His strength and be a conduit of love no matter where and what they do.
Christian school grade 1 (I missed the age deadline for public school by 7 days so private school was the option for me to start school.)
ReplyDeletePublic school grades 2-5 (Came out to show my mom poster I was doing for 5th grade science and she about passed out that it was a chart of the evolutionary eras.)
Christian school grades 6-12 (Parents chose environment over academics; I needed better academics, but my brother lost his way spiritually in our public high school and he’s never really recovered.)
Christian college and grad school
Private grad school
Christian school teacher/administrator up until five years ago
I’ve seen Christian school academics at their worst and at their best I think.
I have no children so my opinion probably means little, but I think so much has to do with the parents involvement with the children and know who there friends are and what they are doing.
A cousin once asked me what I where I would send children if I had them when they were considering their options, and I really carefully thought through my answer. I told him that I think that when I stand before God one day I want to say that I gave my child every opportunity to know Him. I think that includes school but way more things in the child’s life as well—church, media, friends, etc.
Can’t stand the argument to send kids to public school as their mission field. Jesus sent out his trained adult disciples. Yes, we want our kids develop to know and be able to explain their faith, but they aren’t equipped as children to stand up to all that is wrong with the public school curriculum—not all the curriculum is wrong but all that is wrong within the curriculum. We put our garden flowers in hot houses to protect them until they can withstand the difficulties of survival outside, but we act as if parents who shield their children are stunting them. Do I want to put my teenager in a position to defend their faith against a well-liked, (post) college-educated, sexually immoral person in a position of authority?
ReplyDeleteI’m actually not against the public school, but think it’s ludicrous to think our children should be missionaries to the public schools. You should have seen the uproar about a former prominent pastor in town who decided he’d be a missionary to the bars for a year. Yeah, non-Christians had a heyday with that in the paper.
I went to public school and often wonder if I would have had a more God-honoring educational experience had I gone to a private Christian school or been home-schooled. Then I'm forced to acknowledge that much of the debauchery I was involved in was with the kids of other ministers at the church youth group. Grant it I was often the ring leader, so maybe that was my public school stuff kicking in. I didn't know any home schooled kids growing up and don't know enough 30 year olds who were home schooled to say what affect it's had on their walk.
ReplyDeleteI am a graduate of the public school system, but attended a private Christian college. I have taught in the public school system, and in a private Christian school and just recently finished my 2nd year homeschooling my oldest child. He is going to be entering a Christian school in the fall. I think each family is different and each child is different.
ReplyDeleteThe one BIG thing for us, is that in a Christian school, the teachers don't have to wait to be asked about the Bible--it is the source of all things taught. As a teacher you can pray with your kids, resolve conflict using scripture and prayer and pray for them outloud when they need it!
I was homeschooled and had a lot of good experiences. However, while I wouldn't call myself socially stunted, it took me a while to shake some of the excess insular thinking.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had a chance to read all of the comments, but those that I have read did a really good job of pointing out that each child and school is different; you have to go situation by situation.
I don't have kids yet, but when I do all of the above are options. Each have their own pluses and minuses.
Here's another one for homeschooled kids (I was one for 12 long years :-D)
ReplyDeleteif you homeschool, your kids' social development will be severely stunted and they'll have to deal with strange looks, jokes and ridicule for years to come.
I went to 2 different Christians schools and was homeschooled for 4 years. The years of homeschooling were difficult because of the only contact being my family and the few people I saw at church. One of the schools I went to was so small it could technically could have been a one room school house. Almost half of the graduates from that school have "gone the wrong way" (including me) which for them is piercing and not going to their church. The other school I attended for 7 years and we used to joke that it was just a public school with Christian on the sign. Kids in some of my classes had piercings that weren't allowed so they would take them out for school but as soon as it was done they were back in. Teachers even broke the dress code. One year over half of the Jr class got kicked out for drinking. I drink socially now, have ear piercings, and attend a non-denominational church. I am considered a bad one but yet so many of my friends from those schools are even worse. Very few are even in church. When I have kids I plan on sending them to a public school...someone else mentioned about being socially stunted by going to the Christian school...I completely agree and I want better for my kids. Also the stereotype of the kids who were homeschooled/Christian schooled who went to the small Bible college...that's me :)
ReplyDeletewow it took 1.5 hours to read all these comments!
ReplyDeletehere in California there was recently a bill suggesting to homeschool a parent should have a teaching degree. How telling that it was the church that got all up in arms about it. I'll refrain from sharing my opinion b/c that could start a huge ugly debate!
I had 2 years public, the rest Christian school. Our school would only admit students if one parent at least was a Christian, so that cut down on reform school usage. but I still managed to find the one druggie to befriend! The apathy about faith was rampant b/c it was cool. the kids i met at youth group, who went to public school, were on fire and always talking about witnessing at school. so that makes me lean toward public school for my kid. the most important thing in the world to me is his spiritual faith.
However, in California the school system is so bad that it makes me hesitate. When I came here with my Christian high school ed (even with using drugs and skipping half my classes) I was able to test out of the whole first year of college. I guess that's what AP is for but we didn't have that opportunity at a Christian school. So maybe we'll look for a private secular or charter school, or move to a neighborhood with highly rated public schools before my kid is 5. I sure as heck am not homeschooling! I can't WAIT to get that free time back! 9which I'll probably use to work in public schools as a school based counselor, lol)
Person who posted those crazy stats on kids leaving the faith - what is your source? that's very frightening but I have not idea if I should give it credence unless I can verify it.
My biggest argument against private Christian or homeschooling: most of the time it's isolationist. It keeps Christian parents from having a say in public schools. I became a Christian at age 15 and was one of the only Christians in my (tiny) public school because all the Christian parents were homeschooling or sending their kids 45 mins away to Christian private school. Except in extreme circumstances I say send your kid to public school, and volunteer in their classroom, head up the PTA, be an involved parent. These same people who refuse to send their kids to public school wouldn't dream of not voting in an election. Why let your influence go to waste?
ReplyDeletewhy can't Jesus just come back before my son has to go to school?
ReplyDeleteSome of my friends that are the worst friends and example to me came from my Christian private school. In contrast some of my friends from public school are politer and more moral (not necessarily Christian) than my private school friends.
ReplyDeleteI think that people way overestimate the affect a private school has on a Christian. I have seen many friends turn away from God in a private school while being spoon fed the bible. It is all in the heart. If someone really wants to serve God they will do it in a private or public school.
As well can we get rid of the stereotype that private schools shelter their kids from the entire world. We are not stupid. We know about stuff like sex and drugs. We just choose not to do it.
Lastly a private school is of no use if it refuses to promote and enforce Godly rules and guidelines. If it allows everything the same as a public school (except for evolution and sex ed) than it is just a normal school.
By the way good post. It was really well done and funny.
Your stereotypes are both funny and have that kernel of truth that give them some punch -- we've all either said, heard, or thought most of them.
ReplyDeleteFunny, but the schooling wars aren't. I never appreciated being told I was giving my kids to the devil because I sent them to public schools. If you've ever heard that speech, you might think it's wiser to be a coward about 'fessing up to your choice.
All too often we Christians take the "one way" slogan of the Jesus people in the '70's and paint it over all the rest of life as well.
I grew up in a private Christian school. We did have a lot of kids who got out and went crazy, I wasn't really one of them. I did pierce my nose senior year, which was a no-no. One of the things I didn't like about it was I found it very hard to make friends. Its soooo much smaller than public school and it's very hard to find a "group". All of my best friends went to public. My friends that went to public school turned out fine as well. They did get tired of having their beliefs challanged, but they tried to stand up for Christ in the midst of it. I don't have children yet, and I have no idea where I'll send them to school.
ReplyDeleteHannah.
Oy... I've been there both personally and now as a parent. Did Christian school for a few years until my son wound up in school only after I literally dragged him into class kicking and screaming. I thought, OK, maybe he needs public school with the possibility of a GATE program and such. 2 years later, my son was "the bad kid" and Gate was not on any teachers mind. So back to private school with the hope that we could turn my kid around. The difference really wasn't in my son, but in the accountability, love and prayer on behalf of the teachers (and some students) at Christian school.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I went to public school most of my schooling and it was never an issue what I would do.
My daughter is the same, she does equally well in a public or private school environment. So ultimately, I think it's a decision to be made based on the child and the family.
Don't yet know what to do about High School. I am now afraid of my son "going wild" and waffle between wanting that to happen at home while he's in high school or while he's in college.
WV: bellyche
How I feel about making decisions that might ruin my child forever. OY!
This made me laugh:)
ReplyDeleteThe non-profit I work for often sets up info booths at homeschool fairs, and I would like to add this:
All Homeschool kids like to dress up in long capes and play sword fighting or gun fighting or fighting of whatever sort, but the capes are important.
Oh, wait, these aren't supposed to be true? Never mind:)
All stereotypes aside...
ReplyDeleteWhat education does the Bible tell parents to provide for the eternal souls God has intrusted them with?
All decisions must be based in the Bible first and foremost. No decision is “godly” if it contradicts the commands of the Bible.
As for kids "walking away" from the church, I think where you go to school can't be assigned any more blame or credit than your family, your friends and your church (and some churches should be walked away from). Some of the strongest Christians I know spent all of their formative years in an evolution-spouting public school (ditto for college). Conversely, some of the most anti-Christian people I know spent all or a good deal of those formative years in a Christian school or being homeschooled.
ReplyDeleteI went to a private Christian school (kindergarten though 12th grade), with very good and very bad experiences - as I'm sure people with public school and homeschool experiences can say. That's life.
I went to the same private Christian school from 1st through 12th grade. My mom made a lot of sacrifices to make it happen and I'm truly thankful to her. Going to that school helped make me who I am and I have a foundational knowledge of theology that has served me well as I've moved on to college.
ReplyDeleteI go to a public university now and I have to admit, it is kind of a culture shock. At the same time though, kids in private schools go through the same things everyone else does (especially middle school, there is no middle school you can go to to have a completely positive experience), so it's not like I'm shocked at what I'm encountering. In fact, I'm well-prepared for it (I've also found that I'm ahead academically).
That's not to say that public school isn't the answer for some Christians. Especially in elementary school...I don't think the cultures are all that different then.
All of the homeschoolers I know are socially awkward, arrogant because all of their ideas come from and are reinforced by their parents, and have terrible grammar.
ReplyDeleteJust saying.
P.S. I know there must be some homeschoolers who aren't like that, but please, don't think you can teach something just because you know it. Teachers go to college for a reason.
@Janet
ReplyDeleteThanks! I've loved my time at CalArts, and it's been challenging in great ways, both professionally and personally. I've got one semester left, and while I'll be glad to move on (school can't last forever), there are definitely things I'll miss. It's great to be in such a creative incubator, to see so much work happening on a constant basis.
I am so tired of seeing Christians who think that they don't need to work hard to excel in their craft because God is on their side.
Yes, yes, yes! I can't tell you how many times I've heard it said, in a prayer before a performance by a Christian group, "Help us to forget about [yes, I've heard people pray that they'll forget what they've rehearsed!] everything we've learned, and to realize that it's not about our skills and abilities, but because You're with is."
Sigh. God is with us in our talent, training, excellence, and ability--as well as in the final performance--and choosing to forego the discipline of becoming excellent because "God will use the work anyway" is dishonoring and unfaithful with the gifts we've been given. Not to mention the fact that it cheapens the act of worship when we give less than our best.
I actually WAS home schooled and I loved it. I am now a professional dancer, and so it gave me tons of time to train.
ReplyDeleteAs well as study the piano, voice, play outside building forts with my brothers, and read like a fiend.
I went to college, too--an extremely liberal arts school and was absolutely psyched to be there and learn from so many masters.
As for the comment that was waaaaay back stating that "every kid will have their rebellion," well, that isn't actually true. Though sure, I have certainly made imperfect choices, I can honestly say that I have known God's love in my life through it's entirety. And this is a testament to who HE is--not something I've managed to do.
Also, my parents' made sure that I was socialized and did stuff OUTSIDE oh the home; I was constantly dancing at the studio, at church with other kids, and spent summers either at dance intensives or mission trips.
And my parents' aren't staunch home schoolers, either--they have five kids and each kid had a different education that ranged from homeschooling, to private Christian school, to the public school that had the best football team, depending on are gifts and personalities.
So there you go--my take on it all. Sorry to leave a book, but I honestly think that there are many different paths of education and there isn't just one way that is the best.
i went to a public school but now teach in a private christian school. i see the same problems in both schools most of the time. the only big differences are that in a christian school we incorporate God of course. also, if the christian school is smaller, which they often are, usually the kids get a little more one-on-one teaching. we have a little more time to spend with each child to help them understand something, and so forth. also, at my school, we take in kids who have had a very hard time in other schools, and find that often they just need someone loving, someone consistant, and someone who can take the time to show them that they matter, but they still have to follow school rules.
ReplyDeleteto the anonymous commenter @3:20--
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that has been your experience; hopefully you meet some home schoolers that prove your theory wrong!
Also, my psychology professor told me that a lot of Ivy league schools are very excited to matriculate home schoolers since they seem to have an excellent sense of discipline and motivation.
Although, I am positive the same could be said of individuals from private schools and public schools, as well;-)
What the kids learn at school, any type of school, is nothing compared to what you as parents teach them. Keep it honest, open, and God focused. Love and guide your kids in the word (and donate that private school money to a needy village or something) Oh....snap..whole new argument. (That was a joke folks.)
ReplyDeletePublic school teachers accept hugs from and comfort their students. My mom taught at a public elementary school for 40 years and received tons of hugs from her students.
ReplyDeleteAlso do most Christian schools seriously not go over evolution in biology class? I had no idea, wow.
If you want really funny jokes about home education, ask the kids. Their stories are more outrageous than anything someone else would make up about them.
ReplyDeleteI just finished 17 years as a home school mom. All three will be in college this fall. It was a lot of work, but a huge amount of fun as well. I would not trade those years together for anything.
I attended only public schools. In addition to fights, drugs, race riots, and abysmal teaching practices, I saw a close friend be nearly strangled to death in an art class. The teacher turned out to be a drug dealer. I wanted to go to a private school and offered to pay for it myself, but I was not allowed to go. I wanted something better for my kids.
Ha! I was home schooled all the way through high school. It has its pros and cons, but it's really all in how you do it. Every experience is unique. I think it's great for some kids, and even necessary for others, such as a child who has a learning disability or a personality that wouldn't fit in well in a traditional school setting. In my perfect world, kids wouldn't be forced into a traditional classroom setting until they are a bit older, say 10 or 11. I think home schooling is great for younger kids because it can be customized to their learning style. It's true I don't like public schools, but I'm sure some are better than others. Again, there really isn't one hard and fast rule that applies. I think every person's experience is unique.
ReplyDelete@Ann (6:08pm) - The small Christian school where I teach doesn't cover evolution in our science classes, not even as a theory. That is the decision of the current teacher, and I couldn't disagree more. It handicaps our students on state testing, which is a shame.
ReplyDelete@Bruce IV (5:08am) - I have told parents who ask me about our school to not see it as a sheltering device for their kids. Our philosophy (read: financial situation) leads us to take all students despite behavioral issues in the past. In some of the smaller classes, parents are sending their kids to spend a whole lot of time with the very types of students they were trying to avoid.
Having said all that, I'm unsure where I want to send my kids. I have 2.5 years before I have to figure it out for the first one.
It's all been said but if your kid is in public school, see if you can provide alternatives to classes to which you object.
ReplyDeleteThey offer VERY frank and liberal co-ed sex classes in 5TH grade here (putting on a condom, AIDS, masturbation, homosexuality) which I didn't think my child was mature enough to handle. We were able to opt out and did a class at home for that.
Daughter said the other girls confessed their mortification to talk about these things with the boys in their class and wished they could have opted out too.
My husband and I are both grads of public schools and did college at cedarwhat. The grad school was at state schools
ReplyDeleteWe sent out kids to public schools and have always been glad we did. They got a great education there with very few problems. However we lost any number of friends whose kids went to private christian schools, we just couldnt handle their clique-iness, most of their social activities suddenly revolved around school and we were out. I taught at a private christian university for a number of years and they treated me like crap. Even though i had been there for years and years they dismissed me because my kid was in the hospital and I choose to be with my child. They didnt even mind fessing up to that either-no sense of shame on their part. My kids-one will be at a private universities but not christian ones and that makes me happy, and the other at a state school and thats fine too. The education is NOT better at a christian school just because it has the label christian. Someone once gave the example would you rather have your child taught by the worlds best piano teacher or a kind teacher with poor technique who was christian. Well of course-the best teacher. And that MIGHT be a christian school OR it just MIGHT be (gasp!!) a public school. And its different for every kid.
Seems like you hit a chord on this one! :) I think no matter what the choice is, there's a smidge of guilt, but it goes away pretty quick. our kids go to a christian school and let me tell you it's been pretty eye opening. Course we now live in one of the least churched cities in the country, so I shouldn't be too surprised. :) I feel guilty saying they GO to a Christian school! I'm all for all three choices. the christian/private sector, my nieces and nephews are home schooled and I went to a public and later Christian school (and my husband was a minority in the inner city public school he went to...and he's alive to tell about it). :) Do what you feel is best as you're the one raising your princess and no one else. :) my three and a half cents.
ReplyDeleteJon-you missed an entire catagory. the parent s who PROUDLY espouse NO schooling. As in "We no school our kids". We have met more than one family of this persuasion. the family we know best that espouses this has a kid who is 8 and doesnt yet read, because as the parents say "he will know when he is ready and interested". Studies show that if a child doesnt read by age 8 he wont ever. And these parents think this is a viable choice???Yeesh!
ReplyDeleteYour #1 stereotype for public school could not be more wrong. Darwinian Dodgeball could never happen since kids might get hit with the ball. Maybe Darwinian Roll-the-Ball?
ReplyDeleteDo you read all these comments?
I was homeschooled for kindergarten and 1st grade, and then went to public school from 2nd grade through the public college that I am at now. The summer before my sophomore year of high school, I seriously considered doing a homeschool program that I could do by myself online. I did it because I wasn't very connected at my school and the idea of doing my own schooling interested me, but I'm so glad that I decided against it, because I ended up loving my years at high school after that. I learned about evolution and sex and all that in high school, but it was always presented in a way that made it ok to disagree with it. I even took the initiative to look into the science behind evolution myself and bring concerns to my science teacher. Now I am going to school to get my teaching degree (for elementary school)! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteHere's what I think it comes down to. Parents need to be involved with their kids' education. We need to guide our children in truth without raising them in a bubble.
This means that any of the options are totally acceptable but we shouldn't ignore the possibility that they may not all be good options, for all kids.
The hardest part of all of this of course is that we as parents need to not only know the truth, but we need to live it out. We all learn best by example.
For the record, I went to public school up to grade 7 and private through 12.
My wife and I have labored over this for the last 5 years, since our first son has come. We've decided to try (try!) homeschooling. The conversation with other parents who choose differently is really like a...lose-lose.
ReplyDeleteIf I say that we want to try this right now because we love spending all the time we can with our kids while we can, it's not implying that you don't love your time with your kids.
If I say that we are trying it because right now we can...and we want to develop our relationship with them through education, it's not bragging and it's not implying that anyone is a better or worse parent.
If I say that the school disrtict is great but we'd like to keep them from some of the things that inadvertently happen and other things that purposefully happen in a public school setting, it's not implying that we're out to tell (brainwash) our children what to think instead of actually teaching them (how to think).
If I say "we're not worried about this socialization thing," it's not a claim that we think our kids will always and forever be perfectly adapted to every situation. It is saying that if "socialization" means cliques and bullying and popularity superiority/inferiority games and peer pressure and jackassing around like it typically does in any school setting, then yes, fine, we'll have our kids remain unsocialized for now. They will have plenty, tons, of opportunities to learn how the "real world" works without this socialization.
If I say that weird home schooled kids probably came from weird parents doing the homeschooling, I'm implying that the type of schooling is not the issue. If our kids turn out weird, it's because of Amy and my weirdness that no type of education could save them from.
I was homeschooled, and I homeschool my kids. (ages 9,7 5, and 2.)
ReplyDeleteI attended a private (non-Christian) college, and graduated with an A average.
I, and my children, have friends with different last names.
I have never worn a denim jumper.
I don't grow my own food.
And I don't agree with people judging how parents decide to educate their kids.
I decided to homeschool.
This does not mean I think that everyone should do it.
I think that God leads us in different paths; as long as our desire is to follow God, that is what matters.
If a parent feels public school, Christian school or homeschool is the best for their family, don't think they made that decision lightly!!
Let's support each other!
Hubby and I went to public schools, but we unschool our children (like homeschooling, except that all of the curriculum is child-initiated).
ReplyDeleteI like the stereotypes you listed and I think for a lot of people they're true...they wouldn't be stereotypes if it wasn't a common occurrence. Still, you forgot the stereotype that all homeschoolers have 12,000 children. Even my parents asked us if we were going to "breed like bunnies" when we told them we were going to unschool. And what about the stereotype that all homeschoolers keep their kids home because of religion? We're Christian, but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with why our children aren't in public school.
No one should be given a hard time about how their children are educated. That is an extremely personal decision that can only be made by the parents involved, and there is no "best way", just a "best way for US".
haha, LOVE it. Some of those stereotypes are so "true" in the sense than any stereotype holds true sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled. Good experience in some ways, but looking back I hate homeschooling because, for me, it truly did stunt me socially/academically (in some areas of study)/etc. Then again, there are problems wherever you go. I'm just bitter because I can be. :P
Anyway, great list! I'll leave the parenting advice to everyone else, except to say that no matter what choice you make you have to play the main role - parent. Dont trust the authorities just b/c they are the authorities. Your family is yours alone to care for. :)
yuk!
ReplyDeleteWe have less than a year to decide what to do with my four yr old girl and eventually her little sister...... I find myself avoiding 'the school conversation' with friends right now.
Actually, if we become the owners of a home two blocks from a public elementary school that I have heard great things about.... that might decide it for us.....
I know a home-schooled kid at our church. His parents believe that he would be exposed to the wrong element of people in either a private or public school.
ReplyDeleteHe draws pictures during church service. Sunday it was a picture of a demon in the balcony shooting the pastor with AK-47.
I'm convinced that there is no being, be it man or beast, more dangerous and deadly than a roving pack of jr. high girls at a christian school. I could tell you story after story of how clickish and horrible they are. Kids who are pretty good at going along with the program tend to do great at christian schools. I would have probably gotten kicked out... not because I was bad, but I would have been asking why too many times.
ReplyDeleteI teach music privately now and teach home school kids, private school kids and public school kids. I didn't used to see much difference between them. Now the public school kids tend to be way overscheduled and fried from the 70 extra activities they have every week.
The homeschoolers who's parents aren't wound too tight are actuallyy the most ballanced over all. They aren't normally overwhelmed with their school work and bizillions of activities.
I went to public school and grew up in a non-christian home. Public school was great for me because it too much of a pain to half way follow Jesus.
I think it really depends on the kids and how they are wired.
Great post, good to see so many people commenting as well, as with most I think the most important factor is the child and what they need!
ReplyDeleteI go to a public school, and it's really not that bad. I know with the Christian shool most of my friend go to, they've know each other since they started school, 12 years ago. Which to be honest, sounds uninviting, know the same people your entire schooling life, with no different groups of people or changes in friendships or anything. My friend that goes there really wishes he went to my school. And my school isnt that bad, I just guess it depends on the suburb you live in.
ReplyDelete"private Christian school" is redundant. Have you ever seen a public Christian school?
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the one where homeschoolers are automatically mini-geniuses just by virtue of not having been in public school. I get tired of the assumption I must be Einstein because I was homeschooled.
ReplyDeletePersonally, homeschooling was a great decision for my family and I benefitted a lot from it. I DO feel more prepared than most of my college peers for university life, and real life in general, but this I attribute to my parents' excellent upbringing. I am pretty sure public school would have been very detrimental to me because the friends I have who are of similar temperament to me who went through the local public schools ended up being shoved into lockers, and things like that. Besides, I would not have been able to read nearly as much as I would have liked.
I admit, more than anything else, homeschooling stereotypes get on my nerves because there is no "definitive homeschooling model". The only thing that homeschooling kids all have in common is that they're *not* in public school -- at least, not all of the time. It seems unfair to compare the student who worked through a distance-learning curriculum to the guy who had a private science tutor to the girl whose education centered around interactive learning through travel.
But that's what stereotypes are for! Being unfair.
I think a lot of people are reinforcing these stereotypes because of their own experience. Just because you met a "bad" public school kid, or a "snobby" private Christian school kid, or a "socially awkward" homeschool kid doesn't mean that all of those kids are that way. I've met all sorts of people like that and it had nothing to do with where they went to school. Parents, don't stress. God loves your kids way more than you do. He'll show you what to do. Be involved with your kids their whole lives (not just up to middle school). Love Jesus with all you have and love your kids. God will take care of the rest.
ReplyDeleteI went to public school K-12; both of my parents worked and we definitely couldn't afford private school. I was lucky that public schools in my town were very good- I got into the number 4 school in the country for college- a private university. Yes, I did know where I could get drugs and alcohol by the time I was 11, if I had wanted them. But that's the thing- it didn't hold any allure for me because my parents and church were actively involved in my life. I also felt looked down on by my aunt and uncle who sent their kids to Christian school and now Christian college but I definitely worry about when/if they hit the "real world" how they will handle it. Being a Christian in a public high school and private university was different and it was fun to see the bond between people who would have never been friends if not for their shared faith. Today my closest friends are Christians from a variety of denominations from both high school and college- we just managed to find each other.
ReplyDeleteEach child's needs are different and each family situation is different. While sterotypes can be based in truth, I would just caution expressing the feeling that one is better than the others (just in general) because kids pick up on it and then perpetuate the ideas.
Great article. Love that you break it down between all the choices the parents have to make. Parents always want to make the best choices for their children & every child is different. For better gaming choices, that help you to make a positive choice, visit www.leftbehindgames.com
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great post.
My husband went to public/private schools. I was homeschooled. We will homeschool our children.
ReplyDeleteThere are many reasons for this, academics being one of the major ones... public schools just don't have the same great teacher:student ratio that homeschools do! :)
As far as being judgmental... I think most people are, one way or another. I even see it on things like nursing vs. bottlefeeding... (aka, you're a HORRIBLE mother to choose breastfeeding, because you'll give your son a "boob" fixation... vs. you're a HORRIBLE mother to choose bottlefeeding, since you're denying him the best nutrition and bonding time).
As far as school goes, I *do* believe that nearly every family could manage to homeschool, despite financial situations, if they are willing to scrape a bit. Often those who say they "can't afford" it CAN afford to get cable TV or a host of other things. (Note: I do see that some who are actually financially destitute, aka poverty line, might not be able to afford it... but often times, those are just the families who DO homeschool or send their kids to a private school, because they value education more highly than others.)
I also am highly skeptical of the claim that we should "send our children to be a light" ... as I have seen a ton of kids in the church youth group who went to public school and crashed and burned. This can work, but the children must be grounded well BEFORE attending or the world will put out their light.
And the claim that "well, we went to public school and it didn't hurt us" is only valid if the public schools are the same as they were back then. For instance, when my dad was a kid, they could BRING guns to school if they were going hunting afterwards, and school shootings were a thing unheard of. This insistence on standardized testing wasn't there, so students actually spent time LEARNING. A lot of the reason that people (not just Christians) are turning to homeschooling is not because of the faith issue but because of the academic one.
My husband's schooling experience was horrible, as he was bullied and made fun of, and as a result, left school with a very low self-esteem. I would not want this for our children.
In summary- there is no one reason that people do ANYTHING. Before committing to any type of schooling, the parent should research the options and do what is best for their child, spiritually, physically, and academically.
(My apologies for the rambling-ness above, as I just typed off some random thoughts quickly. I would edit it more, but I have to go take care of my son who has just awoken from his nap.)
I just stumbled upon your blog today and it rocks! I loved this post.
ReplyDeleteWe homeschooled last year for my 2nd and K aged kids. It wasn't for me. I feel terribly guilty for sending that back to public school this year, mostly because of the stereotypes. I wish I could be a homeschooler, I really do. But I have to accept that being a teacher is not something that God has gifted me with, and I'm beginning to be OK with that.
My opinion on the whole school thing is that you have to do what's right for your family. Each family has their own specific circunstances and from those circumstances, they have to decide what's best for *them*, not based on what the next door neighbor does or how they were raised or what their friends think they should do.
I went to both public and private school. To be honest, there were more kids getting in to trouble at the private school than kids I knew in public school.
I wish we could afford to send our kids to a private Christian school, but that's just not in our cards right now. So, it is with faith and hope and a lot of prayer that we send our kids off to public school. We vow to be as involved as we can and trust that God will help them through the tough situations and that we will be able to help them navigate the tough choices they will be faced with.
HAHA! I went to a (overpriced) Christian school from 5th-12th grade. Let me tell you, I remember nothing.
ReplyDeleteThe only awesome thing I can attest to is "Hermeneutics" my Senior year. (I just dropped that word--without Seminary! Hah)
There was 30 of us in my class total, on a good year. So we all got to know each other way too well.
I've been married 3 years now and work part time. I feel that I'm the only one of us in this situation because whenever I see kids from my class, or a grade younger or older than me, they are usually knocked up and single or in college doing awesome in some masters program.
Slight exaggeration, but I think you get the gist.
My friends and I, in our early twenties actually discuss this alot...and i think alot of the stereotypes ring true, but in all honesty I think it is completely relevant to the child and the situation. I would have hated anything other than public school.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that so many people list evolution as a sticking point. I went to public school K-12 and loved it (although somehow people from church always assumed I was homeschooled--I guess because I was quiet?). I never really learned much about evolution because it wasn't an important part of most aspects of science classes. I did, however, hear a fair bit about its evils in Sunday School and devotional books, etc. I never realized until I was most of the way through high school that there were actually Christians, some of whom I knew and respected, who didn't have a problem with evolution. And in fact, that's where I stand--it's where the evidence seems to point, and I see no theological reason to doubt it. Just because I don't understand how every single thing I see in the Bible matches up with the world I experience doesn't mean they aren't both true--I am human, and therefore have limited and faulty understanding.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jon...for your hilarious, yet so truthful approach to the education options. My husband and I were both products of private Christian education from kindergarten through college. This year we have had to decide to send our older 2 kids to public elementary school. It was a hard decision and we felt guilty for having to make it, but in the end I have peace about it and ultimately...no one else will give account to God for our children's educations, but us...their parents!
ReplyDeleteThis fall I will embark on our 9th year of homeschooling. It will be our son's last . . . . . he's going to a heathen public high school after that.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you one thing - there is NO perfect education system on the face of the earth. Period. They all have their pros and cons.
Your post is absolutely correct! All these stereotypes out there = you're wrong with whichever school you chose for your kids because someone will ALWAYS find a 'problem' with your choice!
ReplyDeleteI'm actually in a weird situation. My kids are in a Christian school and they are being ridiculed because as a Chinese parent, I did *GASP* send them to the 'TOP TEN' academically acheiving school.
The best schools in the state are either chartered school or other private schools... so I got 'attacked' with all the Christian school stereotype "oh you just don't want to teach your kids Christian value and want the school to do it for you; oh I AM not like that, because I will teach my kids Christian values at home AND they won't be weirdos who can't associate with other people".
I have now been 'ostracized' from a group of mommies from church. They are all sending kids to "Harvard medical prep schools" LOL.
Sorry, I mean as a Chinese parent, I *GASP* did NOT send them to an academically achieving school...
ReplyDelete(sorry for leaving out the NOT)
I was homeschooled, and my mother did NOT churn her own butter. Everything else is pretty much true.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure some of this depends on where you live. As a former public school teacher in the midwest, I have to say the kids going to private Christian/Catholic schools in our area don't have as many varied opportunities but still get a good education. As far as homeschooling goes, it TOTALLY depends on the parent doing it and the reasons behind it. There are some parents who are really putting their kids at a disadvantage in life by 'trying' to homeschool them. Some do a fantastic job. I have to address a comment from the first couple of posts though - I taught public school and my kids go to public school and I along with my kids teachers' hug and comfort kids ALL the time. This is not against the law, it's what kind people do. I even prayed in my classroom while my students and I sat in fear on 9/11. Not a single student or parent complained and several thanked me.
ReplyDeletegreat post and a hot topic! There are loads of snarky stereotypes out there for all three options.
ReplyDeleteI went to private school then began homeschooling on extended trips for my dad's work schedule. When we came back to school, I was always chapters ahead of the class. We began homeschooling full time, and it worked for me.
When I reached high school, my parents left the decision to me, and I chose to attend the local public school. In some ways, it was a big stretch and I had to learn to adapt to the schedule and to social situations.
But I do often feel that academically, that particular public school cheated me out of a really good education because of emphasis on busy work and teaching to the state tests. I am sometimes blown away by the homeschooled students I tutor who have opportunities to read classics, philosophy, and history that I didn't begin reading until college (and I needed the cliff's notes!)
I attended a Christian university, then began teaching middle school at a private Christian school, which was run basically as a public school + Bible classes.
I've seen the stereotypes made and radically broken, but in whatever choice you make, I think the main thing is to keep communication open with the kids. The world is not a "safe" place, no matter how much Christians would like to insulate kids from its influence, it is always there.
There are some fantastic organizations out there that are starting to meet kids where they are at and helping them to engage culture from a Biblical perspective (Christian Liberal-Arts university lingo for "round-house kicking secular humanism.")
Check out Worldview Academy, my favorite Christian School/Homeschool/Private School student melting pot.
I attended Christian schools K-12. Went to a secular private college, to the art department - art's not too popular with religious folks either. My husband went to public schools all his life, then to a Christian college.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's "heathen" schooling had some strong Christian students there, and my "sheltered" schooling had its fair share of people that never really bought into Jesus, but could play it out pretty well.
Based on our experiences, we've settled on Christian education for our own children, whether that means tackling it ourselves or trusting them to someone else.
I've taught in some pretty Christian and Christian-friendly public schools, so it depends on the area quite a bit on picking a school too.
We've realized it's what we do as parents. It's the lives we model, the prayers we pour ourselves into, and ultimately, the relationships we base in Christ. It is our responsibility to do the best we can by our kids, but it's also our choice.
Delayed reaction, but great post! As a product of all three (K-6 grade homeschool, 6-10 private Christian, and 11-12 at public) it's fair to say most of those are fairly accurate. At least for a few of the people in each category. Honestly, I enjoyed each stage of my education and am now a certified history teacher and plan to teach in a public school :-)
ReplyDeletehaha i definitely enjoyed reading this because i have experienced all three systems:
ReplyDeletehomeschooled until 4th grade
4-5, private christian
6, homeschooled
7-9, different private christian
10-12, public
i now attend an incredibly enormous private rich kids college, but it wasn't on purpose, i promise.
i am thoroughly thankful for what i like to call my "well-rounded" education. i have experienced pretty much every stereotype there is, i can connect with way more people from different educational backgrounds, and i kinda hope my kids will be lucky enough to have the same experience.
in my opinion, homeschooling is ideal for younger grades so children can learn at their own pace and be indoctrinated by YOU rather than a bunch of strangers. i enjoyed private school at the age i did because i made friends but still got a good solid biblical foundation to my education. then, the later years of high school were well spent in public school because i was much better prepared for college social and academic life, i learned when to reach out and when to keep my mouth shut, and i met a far more diverse group of beliefs than i would have otherwise.
thank the lord for such varied opportunities in our country!
one drawback: my transcript looks ridiculous.
weighing in:
ReplyDeleteI was in public school
K-4
11-12
2 yrs of college
and catholic school
5-10
finished college
the catholic school gave me a better education, but both were equal in worldly experiences.
but every evil thing i learned i learned on the schoolbus.
my daughter now goes to the same catholic school, but we drive her. No busses.
Home schooled teen right here.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, we can't go to the prom. :P
But that's about it.
Dude, I've went to public school for six years. Private Christian school for two and am now a homeschooler going on four years.
ReplyDeleteI met more real people, who were way more serious about their faith at the public school than the private one.
It's like the ones at a the private thought they already knew all they needed to know. I didn't grow in my faith at all there. My experience with a private Christian school, was backstabbing. I've never had more enemies. The school board plotted to fire a teacher that didn't let the parents walk all over her. My ears and memory have proof of the terrible, fake things they said.
Now with homeschooling, I don't have to deal with people I don't want to deal with.
I don't have to engage with people who I don't get along with.
My social life is my church family and a few other handful of friends. Most of my friends are at the church though. I like it that way. 99.9% of them are serious about it and I enjoy spending time with them.
Tl;dr? I've experience all three options. There were fake people more so at the private school than the public. I adore homeschooling.
Yeah.
Heh, I liked this. It was well-written and very true.
I have a son who is orthopedically disabled (but very smart), and every Christian preschool in my area refused to accept him. The only private school in the area that would allow him in at all was the local Jewish school. It wasn't a good fit (they had stairs), so we sent him to public school. When his little brother got to be preschool aged, we remembered the Christian snobbery and chose the Jewish school instead. Now both are in public grade school, and they are getting a great education. We plan to send them to public middle and high schools as well.
ReplyDeleteWe've had some eyebrows raised at our schooling choices, but all I can say is that I am glad that I already know Christ because the so-called Christian schools (at least 5 of them in our area) refused to be Christ to us in our time of need. Some of them were quite rude to us when we inquired about enrolling our son. Another friend of mine actually enrolled her daughter in a "Christian" private school, but the daughter got kicked out because she has learning disabilities (although she is very smart as well). She was scared to death about sending her daughter to a public school because of all the bad things she had heard, but was quite surprised to find that the public school was a good school giving a good education.
Either way, it's not the school's responsibility to make sure these children grow up to know Jesus; it's ours as their parents.
I love this post.
ReplyDeleteI had the experience of going to private conservative Christian schools for K-1st grade in Cleveland. I did not fit in at all because I was brought up differently than many of the other kids (I read at a sixth-grade level when I was five years old, and my parents had tutored me in advanced subjects before starting school, so I was kind of a nerd). The teachers didn't know what to do with me, so I got in trouble a lot...once for talking with the other kids about "getting a career."
So my parents pulled me out and sent me to Catholic schools, which I attended until graduating high school, mostly in Detroit. The private Catholic schools were slightly better, but I didn't fit in, primarily because of looking different than the other kids (a chubby red-haired black kid in homogeneous schools), and because I started to develop social anxiety. So private schools = nice kids was total crap in my case.
I was the "good" kid through same-sex high school that got a lot of crap for it from the other girls. Many of these same kids ended up pregnant or in homosexual relationships. For my part, I was pretty much agnostic, and decided that I would go to public university because I didn't want any part of religion. So I found the biggest one I could find - Ohio State - go Buckeyes! - and that's where I found and came to Christ.
My 16-year-old brother went to private Protestant and Catholic schools and was relentlessly bullied. Then he went to public charter school in seventh grade, and the bullying virtually stopped. He's now in a neighborhood public high school, and he's doing well socially. He's also a serious Christian, and his on-fire and public faith hasn't been a problem there.
I also substitute-taught in a public school system for a while a year and a half ago up in MI, and one thing that impressed me was that, for the most part, the kids were accepting of each other's differences. I rarely came across meanness or bullying.
When considering my own experiences in school, as well as that of my brother and my fiance (who had similar experiences to what I had growing up), I will probably send my future children to public schools. Of course, I will have to take an active role teaching our kids about faith, but isn't that the parents' job anyway? Besides, I want to allow my kids the socialization that school outside the home provides, but without the effect of having the "faith" inside of private religious schools leading my kids away from any faith in Christ.
I have done time with all three types of schooling: public (where I attended myself, all the way through grad school); Christian school (where I taught for several years); and homeschool (we just graduated our first after a K-12 homeschool education).
ReplyDeletePersonally, we found homeschooling to be better on many levels (academically, socially, and spiritually for sure...I might even be able to make a case for physically). However, I would argue that how WELL a choice ends up working for someone is not the ideal basis for decision making for a Christian. Our foundation needs to be what Scripture teaches. We should be asking if there is an more obedient choice or if there is a disobedient choice.
I first thought all three choices were reasonably biblical - that this was a simple matter of Christian liberty. But the more exposure I had to what the public school is about (my Master's degree is in education) the more my opinion changed. I kept noticing that the public school is NOT neutral on the subject of Jesus Christ. It has taken a definitive stand on the subject. His name will NOT be exalted. His kingdom will NOT be furthered by its efforts. And if anyone attempts to do so in the public school, there will be legal consequences.
As Christians we are called to train our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There is an irresolvable tension here. I think many people who desire to follow God sense that same tension. It could even be the source of some of the guilt feelings. If we feel guilty because we fear some person will not approve of our decision, we need to ignore the guilt. If, however, that person is God, that's an entirely different situation.