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Friday, June 19, 2009

Want to name a chapter in the Stuff Christians Like book?

The contest is over and the comments you dropped are ridiculous. I'm going to pick 5 that I think would look great in the book and then post them next week for you guys to vote on which one you want to see in the book. Thanks so much for participating.

I think it would be fun if you guys named a chapter in the book. You’re consistently dropping hilarity and insight in the comments section and I think it would be cool to be able to open the book on a shelf and say, “That chapter title? That’s me.”

So I picked out a chapter. (I’m calling the essays “chapters” now so that I sound like a fancy author.) The title I’m currently going with is:

“Figuring out a loving way to quit a prayer chain.”

The chapter is about when you somehow find yourself on an email prayer chain that you don’t remember signing up for and you’re almost positive that you don’t know anyone in the Nantahala River Gorge region and you’re not sure you’re committed to praying daily via email reminders for the river people. How do you quit a prayer chain like that without looking like you hate God and river people and maybe even gorges which doesn’t even make sense? The Stuff Christians Like book is going to answer that question.

So, want to name the chapter?

Post the funniest title you can think of using a format similar to how the essays on this site are titled. (Stuff Christians Like: _______) Enter as many times as you want. The winner's title will appear in the book, they'll get a free copy, their name in the acknowledgments and can say, “I wrote part of the Stuff Christians Like book.”

I’ll skip tomorrow’s post and leave this up so that we can check out the comments.

Enter until Tuesday, June 23.

I’ll post the five best and then let you guys decide which one goes in the book.

Power to the people.

Commence the funny.

What should the name of this chapter be?

277 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stuff Christians Love : Leaving with Love.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bootleg cookies, orange drink and other favorite christian food forgeries.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "i fell into a burning ring of prayer..."

    props to johnny cash

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  5. "Being Called To Pray For Someone Other Than You"


    w.v.-toscab (really?!?)

    What happens when you tell your uninvited e-mail prayer chain moderator to kick rocks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Uninvited: The Eternal Implications of Clicking 'Remove Me'"

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Letting someone else pray for the river people"

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Trying to find a way to break the holy electronic e-mail prayer chain without looking like you hate prayer and the mountain people"

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  9. Friends are friends forever....(as long as they sidehug)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bowing out of the chain gang

    or

    Letting the truth set you free...to hit junk mail

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not quiting a prayer chain so they don't look like they hate God and river people and maybe even gorges which doesn’t even make sense.

    wv: agges
    def: a really, REALLY long time

    "I've been reading this blog for agges."

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  12. Stuff Christians Like: Praying for your OWN friends

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  13. Being Too Humble (Proud) to Unsubscribe

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  14. "How To Unsubscribe From Jesus and Still Go To Heaven"

    ReplyDelete
  15. Breaking Free of the (Prayer) Chains
    or
    Breaking Free of the (Email) Chains

    ReplyDelete
  16. "Faking Your Own Death: And Other Fantastical Ways To Deal With Those Pesky Prayer Chains"

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  17. Oh wait...I didn't read the post properly and started throwing in random ones unconnected to the topic. And now i look like a fool because orange drink has nothing to do with prayer chains. hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Up the prayer chain, without a paddle

    or

    Prayer chains of love got a hold on me...(Bon Jovi tribute)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Freeing yourself from the chains of prayer in X easy steps. (where X is a number that might have some reference to the article)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Stuff Christians Like: The Eschatological Hermeneutics of Petitioning External Entities to Beseech an Omniscient-Omnipotent-Omnipresent-Omnibenevolent-Deity Though Ones Recollection Neglects to Remember the Aforementioned Circumstances of Authorizing or Affirming to Complete Such a Voluminous Task with Immense Existential and Spiritual Consequences

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  21. Two or Three? Don't include me...

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  22. Stuff Christians Like: Breaking the Ball & Chain of a Prayer Marriage!

    ReplyDelete
  23. "Why Can't I Quit You?
    Learning To Let Go of Accidental Prayer Chains"

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  24. Breaking the chains: How to make holy use of the spam folder.

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Who Taught Grandma How To Use E-mail?
    The troubling truth behind the Nantahala River Community College Geriatric internet education course."

    ReplyDelete
  26. Why Pray? It's all predestined anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Did I Do That? And other Urkle Responses

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  28. When email filtering is not enough: Persistent prayer petitions

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  29. If I'm here and You're Here... Isn't It Like Our Time?

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  30. I feel your pain... so stop being one to me

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  31. "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" (with props to Chris Tomlin)

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  32. Stuff Christians Like: Turning Pray Chains Into Spam Mail

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  33. SCL: Getting Off the Chain Gang

    SCL: A Graceful Exit From Prayer-Chain Bondage

    SCL: When Chains are Gone, You'll Be Set Free

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  34. What the?!...and the cow dropped from the ceiling

    (an old SNL reference from when they didn't know how to end a sketch)

    ReplyDelete
  35. SCL: How to remove your name from the prayer list without it being removed from the book of life

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  36. SCL: Learning the hack e-mail, or how to remove your name from a prayer chain

    SCL: Should I Pray or Should I Go

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  37. "Stuff Christians Like: Viral Prayer Chains"

    "Stuff Christians Like: Praying for Strangers"

    "Stuff Christians Like: Spiritual Spam"

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  38. How I Learned To Stop Praying And Love The Bomb

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  39. Stuff Christians Like: Asking Jesus to Unbind These {Prayer} Chains

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  40. Lord Touch 'em......as I unsubscribe!

    or

    I hate to do this but I am already praying for another River Gorge in another region! And everyone knows you can't serve 2 river gorges.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Stuff Christians Like chapter suggestions:

    1. Ball and Prayer Chain: How to Unsubscribe Well

    2. Peer Pressure Prayer Chains: How to Get Out Tactfully

    3. The Chain the Binds: How I Escaped a Weird Prayer Chain without Looking Like a Jerk

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  42. Unshackled: How to Quit the Prayer Chain

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  43. Stuff Christians Like: To subscribe or unsubscribe: that is the question...

    (Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous spam,
    Or to take arms against a sea of junk mail,
    And by opposing end them?)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Stuff Christians Like: Workin' On the Chain Gang (of Prayer)

    Personally, I vote for Jonathon Ferguson's "Should I Pray or Should I Go"

    w.v. - ingst: an inkling of angst

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  45. SCL: Breaking The Chain

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  46. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  48. Stuff Christians Like: Intercession Recess

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  49. Stuff Christians Like: It's not the River People, it's me.

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  50. Stuff Christians Like: "Unchain My Prayer"

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  51. SCL: A River (Gorge) runs through your inbox

    WV: jurks-juries that are slightly irritating.

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  52. SCL: Listen, Prayer Chain, I really need to focus on me right now.

    SCL: Dear Prayer Chain, I've met someone else. Please understand.

    SCL: When prayer chains attack, curl up in a ball, play dead, and click unsubscribe.

    ReplyDelete
  53. "A Chain's Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link...Dang, That's Me."

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  54. SCL: Razzle Dazzling a prayer chain

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  55. SCL: Im a Christian....Get me out of this prayer chain!

    ReplyDelete
  56. SCL: Ditching the Chain Gang

    SCL: A Little Chain Will Do You Good

    SCL: No Chain, No Gain

    SCL: Breaking the Chains

    SCL: How to Peace Out Without Disturbing the Peace

    SCL: Please Stop Forwarding Me Those Dumb E-Mails, Mom

    ReplyDelete
  57. SCL: how to fearlessly break away from the holy prayer chain (gang)

    How to be set free from the bonds of prayer chains

    Skipping a Prayer Link in the Holy Armor of God since 2009

    SCL: how to tell when your prayer chain link has expired


    wv - pasno
    def: a location in a large southern state

    ie: I just got back from Pasno, Texas

    ReplyDelete
  58. I don't have any suggestions, I just want to vote.

    1st choice: Jonathan Ferguson's
    "Should I pray or should I go" (might want to add 'now')

    2nd choice: Brian Miller's
    "Up the Prayer Chain without a Paddle"

    ReplyDelete
  59. The real reason I switched Internet Service Providers

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  60. Stuff Christians Like: Going From Gorges to Gorgeous - Leaving Love with Love.

    I just like word plays :)

    WV: Cowstork -
    Farmboy: "Mummy (Mommy for the Americans), where do calves come from?"
    Farmer's wife: "You see... when a mummy and a daddy cow love each other very much... they moo for the cowstork to bring them a calf..."

    ReplyDelete
  61. SCL: Abandoning Email accounts for God

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  62. Update to previous, due to suggestion:

    Should I Pray or Should I Go Now

    Thanks for the suggestion maretta!

    ReplyDelete
  63. "Unchained Malady: What to do when Christian spam has got you singin' the blues."

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  64. SCL: How to Tactfully Say, "No, I Don't Want to Pray for You"

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  65. Jarrod Haggard. You are hilariously creative.... I was laughing at all of yours.

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  66. Stuff Christians Like: Unsubscribing to prayer chain emails - we'll have time to catch up in heaven

    ReplyDelete
  67. You Gotta Pray Just To Make It Today...Because I'm Not Going To

    Breaking Up (Prayer Chains)Is Hard To Do

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  68. 1. Jesus doesn't want us to Gorge.

    2. Jesus Knows What's in My Junk Folder (even though I don't).

    3. J.U.N.K. Folder stands for Jesus Understands No Kneeling.


    P.S. Snopes.com should have a prayer request verification option.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Stuff Christians Like: Who signed me up for this anyway?

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  70. Stuff Christians Like: Potato Salad - the politics of church potlucks

    Stuff Christians Like: "I think I'm getting The Call", or Why God Told Me to Dump You NOW.

    Stuff Christians Like: Mandatory Sex Talks at Youth Retreats

    Stuff Christians Like: Bashing Current Church Trends

    Stuff Christians Like: Recycling 5-year-old Top 40 hits.

    Stuff Christians Like: Feeling guilty for not buying "Christian".

    ReplyDelete
  71. Escaping the shackles of a prayer chain

    Breaking free from the prayer chain-gang

    Finding the key to escaping prayer chains

    Escaping prayer chains without theatrics

    Escaping prayer chains with the governor's pardon

    Getting unshackled from prayer chains

    Looking for prayer chain escape doors

    Innocently leaving a prayer chain without feeling guilty

    I am the prayer chain weakest link. Goodbye

    Freeing yourself from the bondage of a prayer chain

    Breaking the chain of prayer with love

    Leaving a prayer chain without feeling guilty

    Politely breaking the lock of prayer chains

    Quitting a prayer chain you can't remember joining

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  72. Stuff Christians Like: Somebody's Gotta Pray, But It's Not Me

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  73. Stuff Christians Like: NOT delivering the knee-mail

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  74. Sick (and tired!) of praying for the sick and tired? Take nap instead. Because God said so.

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  75. Psalm 118:5
    In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.

    Titling a chapter with a bible verse!

    ReplyDelete
  76. I Never got your email prayer request: Blame it on Bill Gates, you knew he was the antichrist anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Galatians 5:1
    It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of pray chain slavery

    ReplyDelete
  78. Dave in Cedar RapidsJune 19, 2009 at 7:42 AM

    This one is inspired by the picture of Jon at his first "meet and greet".

    Stuff Christians Like: _________________ (aka, The chapter I asked my readers to name.)

    ReplyDelete
  79. Stuff Christians Like: How to create a new email address (or, how to avoid ditching from a prayer chain email and making everyone think you don't love Jesus enough.)

    ReplyDelete
  80. Stuff Christians Like: Breaking the Prayer Chain Habit

    Stuff Christians Like: When the Prayer Chain Strangles

    Stuff Christians Like: Riding off into the Sunset of the Chain Gang

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  81. Stuff Christians Like: Wishing there was a transdermal patch for chain pray-ers.

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  82. I'm just not that into you.....prayer chain!

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  83. Breaking the Cycle: A Redemptive-Historical Approach to not Praying for Strangers.

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  84. "when No Means No: Telling a prayer chain it's time to let go."

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  85. Stuff Christians Like: God created email rules for prayer chains like yours.

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  86. Stuff Christians Like: Not Praying For Strangers

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  87. Blocking a brother-in-Christ's requests

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  88. Stuff Christians Like: Avoiding the Responsibility to Pray for Strangers

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  89. Stuff Christians Like: Spam Filters.

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  90. "God Love 'Em ... But I'm Leaving"

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  91. Stuff Christians Like: Ignoring Prayer for Those We Don't Know

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  92. Stuff Christians Like: Avoiding Rednecks in Need of Prayer.

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  93. Wow, 95 comments already and some comedy genius to boot!

    My favourites;


    Nb with;

    "SCL: The Missing Link".

    and

    Jonathan Ferguson with;

    "SCL: Should I Pray or Should I Go Now?".


    Both are excellent and I can't top either.

    Regards,

    ReplyDelete
  94. Quitting cold turkey from chain praying (without a patch)

    Prayer chains: Breaking the yoke without laying an egg

    What's the safe word? - Painlessly firing the prayer chain dominatrix

    ReplyDelete
  95. Stuff Christians Like: I'm Just Not That Into You.

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  96. Stuff Christians Like: Figuring out how to break a chain without making the baby Jesus cry.

    ReplyDelete
  97. SCL: Love is an Action, Now Stop Sending Me These Chain Mails!

    SCL: How to say "I don't love you THAT much" while still loving Jesus.

    SCL: Set me free from these Chains (e-mails) that bind me (spam up my inbox).

    SCL: One Christian's Treasure is Another Christian's Junk Mail.

    SCL: Letting go of the things I know that will drive me crazy if you don't stop sending me your e-mails.

    SCL: One by one your e-mails steal my sanity.

    SCL: I have a special NEW e-mail where all of my prayer requests go. It's called iprayfortheworld24_7@superchristian.com

    SCL: Please unsubscribe me in the name of Jesus.

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  98. Stuff Christians Like: Just because it's a prayer request, that doesn't mean it's not spam.

    ReplyDelete
  99. SCL: God, You know I'm just going to delete it everyday, anyway.

    SCL: If God is bigger than the boogy man, then He can help these river people without me getting this e-mail.

    SCL: Why I'm giving up prayer e-mails for lent.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Ridding the email inbox of SPAM: Surplus Prayers About Missionaries

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  101. SCL: yelling "Jesussssss!" as you hit delete. (obviously this title would benefit from strategic placement after a chapter on what to do when you run into former Bible study co-members...)

    SCL: feeling guilty as you scan you junk mail folder (and not just because of the porn ads)

    SCL: Saying "I don't love you enough to pray for you" in a God-glorifying way.

    ReplyDelete
  102. I'm Sorry, Prayer Chains Aren't My Gift

    Prayer Chains vs. Eternal Damnation

    w.v.- Sestif
    "Oh, I love the decor. It's so very sestif."

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  103. Binding and Loosing: The Biblical Way to Loose the Chains of Prayer

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  104. "sorry, my email is athiest."

    "how to convince people you are praying enough as it is."

    this one might be over the line, but i thought it was funny-
    "pornography and prayer chains: what we'll admit to just to make people think we avoid the internet."

    ReplyDelete
  105. Stuff Christians Like: Praying about Not Praying (or Asking God to Not Destroy You for Spamming Prayer Chain Emails).

    wv- menamis

    How a grammatically incorrect person introduces themselves to a group. "Hi, me nam is John."

    ReplyDelete
  106. In honor of Milli Vanilli, "Blame It On The Prayer Chain"

    I had to come with another one, just to share this word verification.

    w.v. upent
    "U-pent?"
    "Nah, I'll wait until Sunday."
    "I'll add you to my prayer chain."

    ReplyDelete
  107. Stuff Christians Like: Making others feel 14% less holy for quitting prayer chains. (But it's okay, because my Twitter message will put them all in the dust.)

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  108. If your email prayer chain causes you to sin - cut it off

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  109. Making sure no one thinks you hate gorges

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  110. (maybe an intro page? couldn't help it, I haven't slept in 30 hours. Sorry in advance.)

    The Art of Making a Prayer Chain Break-Up With You

    1. Stop answering most of their e-mails (but not all).
    2. When you DO answer, make sure it's in short, clipped statements.
    3. Forget your sign-up date.
    4. Remember their birthday, but give them a recycled gift that you KNOW they saw you get at the Christmas party last year.
    5. Casually comment about the amazing prayer group that you...oh, wait, nevermind.
    6. "Accidentally" forward a prayer request from a rival prayer chain.
    7. When they ask you to pray, your default answer should be, "I'm really tired. You know, I was hanging out with the guys...and stuff."
    8. Send them an anonymous link that shows a picture of you on the message board of another prayer chain having great meaningful conversations, trying prayers you've never prayed before. Lol'ing and lots of ROFL's. Let them see that you truly are happy somewhere else.
    9. Finally, send them another anonymous message that reminds them, "If you love it, set it free, if it returns, it's yours to keep".

    When they finally delete you from the mailing list, you might feel a little regret. Maybe you WERE happier with them...

    DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!
    It is a ruse, and they'll do their best to put up lots of pretty pictures on their homepage. Maybe spruce it up with some new borders, or wallpapers. Maybe even a shorter, sexier header with fonts they never had when they were with you. They might even change from blogspot to wordpress!

    I know, I know, you've never seen them look this good before! Right now, I need you to stand strong my friend. You are the one who decided that you didn't want to break their heart, so you were distant and unsure until they finally let you go.

    Just remember, this was YOUR idea, so hold firm, keep your head up, and remember how unhappy you were before. They kept asking you to pray for people you didn't know. Asked if you could drive someone to church on Sunday. Invited you to potlucks with strangers, or relatives you've never heard of. They even asked if you could babysit for sister Mary Beth! Who's that? I don't know either. It was just moving too fast.

    So just walk away, with your head held high,your dignity intac...um, head held high, and tell yourself that it's the best thing for both of you. And.never.ever.look.back.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Stuff Christians Like: I have to remove myself from your prayer chain and it's all Bill Gates' fault.

    Stuff Christians Like: Cast Thy unsolicited prayer chains to the wayside!!

    Stuff Christians Like: Exorcise your Inbox for only $49.95! And if you order before midnight......

    ReplyDelete
  112. I've prayed about it, God's leading me off your prayer chain.

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  113. SCL: "I'm just not that into you."

    SCL: "The Long Goodbye"

    SCL: "Letting Your No be No"

    SCL: "I Prayed About it, and..."

    SCL: "Feeling the feeling of

    ReplyDelete
  114. SCL: The river people... Really, with this?

    SCL: Praying for Mine, Not Yours


    WV: carlate - when we get to the carlate, we get to church late, then we all begin to hate...and have to pray and get it straight before we go inside to pray

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  115. Stuff Christians Like: Breaking the "How in the heck did I get on this prayer chain" Chain That Binds

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  116. I vote for any of Bryan Miller's.

    ReplyDelete
  117. "Dear Admin, I love praying for you, but I want to pray for you in more unspecific ways": How to remove yourself from prayer lists without sounding like you left.

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  118. Is it holier to remove your name from a prayer list or let the prayer emails pile up in your spam and send up a quick little prayer when you empty the spam folder?

    ReplyDelete
  119. @LexLaura

    That last one was FUNNY.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Wow -
    This is going to be a tough contest. There were 82 written pages of comments for the roose book. I'm hoping we break 100 with this one.

    @Chandler
    "sorry, my email is athiest."

    hilarious
    Jon

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  121. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  122. SCL: Changing Email Addresses Because of Too Much "Spam" (aka Prayer Emails) and Only Telling Their Six Best Friends

    (Deleted my first comment because I'm the under-slept mom of a newborn and used "they're" instead of "their" in the first comment as if I didn't major in journalism.)

    ReplyDelete
  123. Stuff Christians Like: Do you have the blues? Are you left with much to lose? Well then here's a little jingle to help you mix and... stop well intentioned people you don’t know.

    ReplyDelete
  124. @ Jon & Krista Mobley: "I am the prayer chain weakest link. Goodbye."

    LOL! That's good.

    ReplyDelete
  125. SCL: "Getting Going When the Going's GOD"

    SCL: "Killing the Prayer Chain Softly"

    SCL: "Leaving the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Where God Guides, He Provides"

    SCL: "Refocusing"

    SCL: "Because I Just Got Married"

    SCL: "I'm Really Praying About It"

    SCL: "I Need to Spend More Time in the Word... and other excuses for leaving a prayer chain."

    SCL: "Acts 16:26- The Earthquake You Need to Break the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Saying Goodbye Without Saying Goodbye"

    SCL: "Chains, Schmains"

    SCL: "Finding Your Calling Outside of Prayer Chains"

    SCL: "Prayer Chain or Gossip Group?: How to Leave the Prayer Chain Well"

    SCL: "We Know that Goodbye is not the End"

    SCL: "When Your Prayer Time Suffers: Leaving the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Prayer Chains. What it isn't Good For!"

    SCL: "Being 'PC' When Leaving a Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Loving God but Not Prayer Chains"

    SCL: "Leaving Room for God's Wrath- How to Leave a Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Dear Prayer Chain Warriors, please pray for me as I leave the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Jesus Made Me Do It"

    SCL: "I'm just not catching the vision"

    SCL: "Put the Prayer Chain Down, and Walk Away"

    SCL: "Let Go (of the Prayer Chain), Let God"

    SCL: "Retiring Before Your Time"

    SCL: "Packing It In: Leaving the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Left Behind- The (Graceful) Prayer Chain Exit"

    SCL: "A New Direction- Away From the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Party of One- I'm Starting My Own Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "The Prayer Chain Handoff- Finding Your Replacement"

    SCL: "Sanctioned Gossip- Leaving the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye (to the Prayer Chain)"

    SCL: "I Need to Figure This Out- Saying Goodbye to the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "It's Not Goodbye- It's See You Later!"

    SCL: "If You Leave Me Now... and other Chicago hits to assist in the Prayer Chain exit"

    SCL: "Let's Just Be Friends"

    SCL: "Why I Left the Prayer Chain- and other stories from Prayer Ministries"

    SCL's Guide to Leaving the Prayer Chain

    SCL: "Only Jesus said He'd Never Leave"

    SCL: "Jumping Ship- Leaving the Prayer Chain without Drowning"

    SCL: "Take Me Out Coach"

    SCL: "Updating the Prayer Chain Roster"

    SCL: "God is calling me..."

    SCL: "The Children's Ministry Needs Me"

    SCL: "Please Excuse Me- How I successfully left the Prayer Chain; AND HOW YOU CAN TOO!"

    SCL: "I've prayed about it, and..."

    SCL: "I have peace about this..."

    SCL: "I've prayed about it, and I have peace."

    SCL: "I just read 'Boundaries', and the Prayer Chain is cluttering my yard."

    SCL: "Boundaries- Saying No When You Didn't Say Yes"

    SCL: "Boundaries- Saying No When You Can't Remember Saying Yes"

    SCL: "Timing is Everything- Planning Your Exit from the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "IDK"

    SCL: "Ordering Your Private World- How to leave the prayer chain."

    "SCL's (number) Unfounded Laws of the Prayer Chain" (in Maxwell theme)

    SCL: "SPAM comes in a can, Prayer Chains Shouldn't"

    SCL: "SPAM filter: Prayer Chains"

    SCL: "Unspoken: Leaving a Prayer Chain Quietly"

    SCL: "The Gift of Going Second: How to Effectively Eliminate the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Chain Reaction: Gossip or Prayer Chain?"

    SCL: "I'm OUT!"

    SCL: "Help! I've gotten into a Prayer Chain and can't get out!"

    SCL: "Unspoken: He Knows Our Needs, and Now I'm Leaving"

    SCL: "Bowing Out: The Prayer Chain Exit:

    SCL: "Throwing in the Prayer Towel: Leaving the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "Prayer Calendar: How to successfully setup your exit from the Prayer Chain"

    SCL: "What Prayer Chain?"

    This is sooooo much fun!

    ~Nick

    ReplyDelete
  126. These chains can't hold me down.

    ReplyDelete
  127. "I've been praying that you'll become a better steward of the emails you send to me."

    ReplyDelete
  128. These made me LOL.

    @CharityStill
    SCL: It's Not the River People, It's Me

    @chandler
    SCL: Sorry, My Email Is Athiest

    Although I might be more verbose with the latter in the interest of clarity...

    SCL: I May Be a Christian, But My Inbox Is Atheist

    Good stuff.

    peace|dewde
    http://dewde.com

    ReplyDelete
  129. Tear This Page Out and Give it 15 of Your Friends Else You're Going to Hell.


    Hmm. That really needs to be shorter...

    ReplyDelete
  130. Stuff Christians Like: How to make an exit when you haven't got a prayer.

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  131. Stuff Christians Like: Removing Responsibility While Still Seeming Holy

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  132. Stuff Christians Like: Bowing Out Of The Prayer Chain Because You're "Already So Busy Praying For Those Orphans In Africa."

    Also, I love Shark Bait's "Leaving With Love." I think that sums it up nicely. :)

    ReplyDelete
  133. "Fwd:" means please delete

    that's the rule I live by

    ReplyDelete
  134. SCL: No I will not pray for you, but I still love you.

    ReplyDelete
  135. The Leg Sweep - so right for so many situations.

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  136. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  137. sorry, i didnt look through to see if these were mentioned:

    "freedom in Christ from email prayer chain bondage"

    "i care, but not enough for daily prayer"

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  138. I third this vote:
    Jonathon Ferguson's "Should I Pray or Should I Go"

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  139. SCL: Leaving Prayer Chains: Feeling the Fear and Doing It Anyway

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  140. Extolling the power of other people's prayers.

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  141. SCL: How Now Shall We Leave?

    SCL: Here Am I, Send Me

    SCL: Sent By God?

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  142. Okay, I can't read through all of these right now, so I hope I didn't copy anyone.

    SCL: Being Afraid of What Other Christians Think

    SCL: Fearing "Remove Me" from a Prayer Chain Email Removes Them From the Lamb's Book of Life (too long)

    SCL: Deleting Forwards

    SCL: Forwarding Forwards
    (I don't forward emails EVER http://www.borrowedbreath.com/2009/03/12/a-venting-session/ )

    SCL: Cursing the Person Who Sent the Email Rather Than Praying for the Person In the Email.


    wv: hamisher
    def: a silken scarf worn by forward-fashion men

    "Did you see Jon sporting that burgandy hamisher?"

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  143. Stuff Christians Like: Advise for prevent christian gigga pets and stuffed unicorns from invading the sunday school youth.

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  144. Hate the Spam, Love the Sender.

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  145. Didn't God already answer that prayer? Well I did my part!

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  146. I vote for carlos benjamin - benjphoto.com: How to make an exit when you don't have a prayer or Chandler with the athiest inbox. Although so many others made me laugh, theirs were the most orginal.

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  147. "How to make an exit when you don't have a prayer"

    That rocks!

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  148. SCL: Chains Being Broken - How-to unsubscribe from an e-mail prayer chain without being labeled a "backslider."

    SCL: Secretly wondering what Paul and Silas would do to break our e-mail prayer chains.

    SCL: WWPaSD? Advice from our favorite Bible heroes on how to unsubscribe with dignity.

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  149. SCL: Praying that You Won't Be Rejected after Unsubscribing from Prayer Chains.

    SCL: Not Deleting Prayer Chain Emails that You Don't Care about because You Are Guilt-ridden.

    SCL: Wishing River Gorges Didn't Exist.

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  150. "if it makes you feel any better, i was never really praying for you in the first place."

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  151. SCL: Using Prayer Requests as Gossip Time, or why the prayer team ladies never should have left high school.

    SCL: Knowing part of your tithe is paying for your metro worship leader's perfect hair.

    SCL: Reasons I'm happy to not be a post-college single.

    SCL: Excusing your naughty language with biblical precidents

    SCL: How we create crazy youth groups, one generic cookie at a time.

    SCL: Why dentists love VBS

    SCL: The Name Drop

    SCL: Name-Dropping Jesus at completely inappropriate times

    SCL: That old lady has a mean leg drop...

    SCL: Throwing Skittles, Leg-Dropping, and other activities that should be taught in seminary

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  152. Feeling guilty for reporting spam.

    -or-

    How Christians Steal Your Identy

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  153. @Leanne, L.O.L!!!! :D

    "Tear This Page Out and Give it 15 of Your Friends Else You're Going to Hell"

    How perfect for a book... I think this would pair nicely with a pretty angel illustration, a photo of two kittens in a basket and some praying hands clip-art.... at least, that what my Christian spam come decorated with, haha! I really blush for the friends who send me that stuff!

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  154. I'm a fan of "Unspoken: Leaving a Prayer Chain Quietly"

    SCL: Letting Other People Pray for Aunt Margaret's Neighbor-Three-Houses-Down Who Has a Really Big Splinter

    SCL: "Where Two or Three Are Gathered," or Why My Prayer's Kind of Redundant Anyway

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  155. "SCL: Friends Are Friends Forever...except in my inbox"

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  156. Stuff Christians Like: Do all in love

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  157. The key to set you free: how to quit an email prayer chain without looking like you hate God and don't care about the river people.

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  158. Holy Spam: How to handle the email prayer chain

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  159. Chains don't heal people, Jesus Heals People

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  160. SCL: Prayer Chain Mail in the Spiritual Armory

    SCL: Breaking the Chain

    SCL: A Chain Is Only As Strong As It's Weakest Link, in this case, Me.

    SCL: Happy to Pray, Just Not For the River People

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  161. Let's Be Honest, I'm Just Not That Into You

    Sealed With a (Holy) Kiss

    A Kiss For Luck and I'm On My Way

    Escaping the Seemingly Inescapable

    So it's like this...I've been really busy and I feel like my participation time is limited and it's just not fair to you for me to continue without a genuine passion for what I'm doing...besides, you have plenty of others who can do it...

    It's Not Like I Don't Care, I'm Just Being A Good Steward of My Time

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  162. SCL: Modern Technology = More Ways To Guilt You Into Praying

    SCL: Holy Spam

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  163. I want to invite everyone to visit our website at www.emailministry.webs.com and "sign up" to receive our emails. Every two weeks we send out a cartoon Gospel tract with the salvation message of Jesus Christ attached, all you do is read and forward thus spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    Thank you and God Bless.

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  164. I want to invite everyone to visit our website at www.emailministry.webs.com and "sign up" to receive our emails. Every two weeks we send out a cartoon Gospel tract with the salvation message of Jesus Christ attached, all you do is read and forward thus spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    Thank you and God Bless.

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  165. SCL: Will the circle be unbroken? No. I'm outta here.

    WV: cedectur-deep South for "see that detour"

    Oh my gawd, didnchu cedectur sign back there? Y'almost got us killt!

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  166. My Faves so far:
    1. "Why, I'm giving up prayer e-mails for lent."
    2. "Should I pray or should I go?"
    3. the one about Exorcising your email account
    4. "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Oh that's me"

    SCL: Holy SPAM: It's what's for dinner, tonight.
    SCL: Convincing people sending prayer chains is a sin.
    SCL: The only time you wish your computer would crash...
    SCL: Avoiding your email like the plague? How to get rid Prayer SPAM 101
    SCL: Leg dropping your friends that send you those emails
    SCL: Throwing virtual skittles
    SCL: The Art of Ignoring Prayer Chain Emails
    SCL: Clicking "Move to SPAM" without feeling like you have to repent.
    SCL: The Guilt-Free Answer to Prayer Chain Emails
    SCL: The Holy Click "Move to SPAM folder"
    SCL: NO, my best friend's, foster parent's, second cousin's girlfriend doesn't live in the Nantahala River Gorge Region.
    SCL: When caring is not sharing


    this you may include in your actual post, and not the chapter title... but something about giving out fake emails, or switching email addresses every 6 months... i def know peeps that do that.

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  167. SCL: I love God and I really do care, but this just has to stop. Ending a tenuous relationship with spam-like prayer chains.

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  168. I would name the chapter "Francis"
    because honestly... your not going to find a much cooler name than that..

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  169. Stuff Christians Like: The Holy Hangover or Finding a Way out of the Commitments You Made While on a Rededication High.

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  170. "Stuff Christians Like: Chain Smoking"

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  171. SCL: Busting the Mold and Breaking the Chain
    SCL:Breaking Chains with the Strength of Sampson
    SCL: Chains, Brains, and False Claims- When Prayer Chain Emails Go Bad
    SCL: I Can Still Hear You Saying You Would Never Break the Chain
    (fleetwood mac)

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  172. Stuff Christians Like: Fasting from Technology.

    wv: nolder - refusing to age.

    "I'm nolder than the last time you saw me."

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  173. Stuff Christians Like: The Electronic Sympathy Scoop.

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  174. Stuff Christians Like: Going on a Prairie Quest to get away from the Prayer Requests.

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  175. Me Smart man, you Chain?

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  176. Stuff Christians Like: Quitting Prayer-Chain Crack.


    SCL: Quitting Prayer Chains--Almost as Hard as Quitting Drugs. (Or is it harder?)

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  177. SCL: Fasting, it's not just from food.

    SCL: Jesus was never on an email prayer chain, and I wanna be like Jesus.

    SCL: Jesus wants me to pray for China instead, sorry.

    SCL: Don't break a leg, break a prayer chain!

    SCL: I survived the Prayer Chain, and all I got was this lousy email!

    SCL: Deleting an email without deleting a friendship.

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  178. SCL: When the Prayer Chain Joins the Same Category as Erectile Dysfunction

    is that grody? ok.

    SCL: Picking off the mass emails that have words which bum me out...sorry gorge folk. Peace be with you.

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  179. This is going to be very, very difficult to pick. Especially since you can still add ideas until Tuesday. I was going to pick 5 for everyone to vote on but will probably need to pick 10 instead. I'll grab those 10 and then post them and then everyone can decide which headline gets printed in the book.
    Jon

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  180. "Spiritual Spam" (by Dilato) is my favorite so far!!

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  181. How about...

    Believing Your Link in a Prayer Chain is the One that Holds it Together.

    Or at least something along those lines....

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  182. Being Spiritually Blackmailed Via Email, Like When You Have To Forward Something Because Jesus Wasn't Ashamed Of You Or Pray For People You Really Want To Look Up On Snopes But You're Not Sure The Holy Spirit Will Let You

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  183. Leaving a prayer chain without looking like you hate prayer.

    Feeling guilty for deleting-without-reading prayer chain emails from a church you went to once, two years ago.

    Saying to a prayer chain moderator, "It's not you. It's not me. It's Jesus."

    Saying, "I think Jesus wants me to focus on other ministries" when what you really mean is "I don't want to be on your prayer chain anymore."

    WV: Coptor - slang for helicopter. "Man, that 'coptor just about hit your worship eagle!"

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  184. All Hell's About to Break Loose Cuz I Just Broke the Prayer Chain

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  185. It was Me that Broke the Prayer Chain. Put Down Those Stones Please!

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  186. Stuff Christians Love: How To Murder a Prayer Chain Lovingly

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  187. Stuff Christians Like: Getting off the prayer chain without being put on it.

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  188. Oh, and...

    SCL: Getting the prayer chain to quit you, so you don't have to quit them.

    And being the 200th comment.

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