As a pastor’s kid I have listened to roughly 87 million sermon illustrations. More than that, I’ve actually contributed to several, with the nonsense I got into as a child. And that’s fine with me, because my dad would pay us a dollar for every time he name dropped me and my siblings in one of his sermons.
But I realized recently that despite having heard a lot of sermon illustrations, I’m still a little unclear about what makes a good one. Does it have to be funny? Does it need to just intro the sermon and then leave the sanctuary like that guy that pretends he’s going to the bathroom but never comes back or do the best ones weave themselves throughout the whole message like a poignant tapestry of adjectives? How do you rank and rate them so that you know you’ve just received a quality, high end sermon illustration? If only there was some kind of sermon illustration score card.
The Stuff Christians Like Sermon Illustration Score Card
1. Sermon illustration contains a cute dog or cat. = +1 point
2. Sermon illustration contains a cute dog or cat and so does the pulpit, a fact that is revealed ten minutes into the sermon when the dog bites the pastor in the ankle. = + 2 points
3. Sermon illustration compares boiling a frog slowly in water to how sin works. = – 2 points
4. Sermon illustration references a famous professional athlete that beats tremendous odds, thus inspiring us all = +2 points
5. That same athlete gets arrested outside a strip club in some sort of melee or “donnybrook” the next weekend. = - 1 point
6. Pastor calls his wife on stage and they tell the illustration together. = + 1 point
7. They use some sorts of “dancing ribbon” and an acoustic guitar to tell the illustration. = - 5 points
8. The pastor uses his own kids as examples of spiritual awesomeness during the sermon illustration. = +2 points
9. Everyone in the church knows those kids are actually punks. At least the oldest one whose name might start with J and end with “on Acuff.” = - 3 points
10. Sermon illustration calls to mind a world event that happened within the last month. = + 1 point
11. Sermon illustration calls to mind a world event that happened within the last week. = + 2 points.
12. Sermon illustration calls to mind a world event that hasn’t happened yet but eventually does. = +spooky
13. Sermon illustration involving wild animal goes awry and eventually animal control is called in to remove the panicked beast from the baptismal. = +2 points
14. During the previously mentioned animal rampage, pastor swears, animal control handlers decide to give their life to Christ and someone’s toupee is wrestled off by the frightened creature. = +22 points
15. Sermon illustration came straight from the pages of Chicken Soup for the Soul = no points
16. Sermon illustration came straight from the posts of Stuff Christians Like = +bajillionty points
17. Sermon illustration is clearly about one particular person in the church, but the pastor thinks that by saying “someone told me recently” that he has provided an adequate blanket of anonymity for the now greatly embarrassed person. = – 4 points
18. Pastor uses some branch of knowledge that he clearly knows nothing about, is using words that sound weird in his mouth and tries to play if off as “so I was reading about sub particular atomic cold fusion studies the other day as I’m prone to do in my free time.” = – 3 points
19. Sermon illustration is so perfectly crafted that you can repeat it at the watercooler on Monday morning at work and 47% of the people in your office become Christians on the spot. = + 10 points.
20. At the beginning of the illustration you think, “I have no idea where he is going, this can’t tie back to God” and at the end you think, “that makes perfect sense.” = +3 points
21. Sermon illustration contains one sports reference. = +1 point
22. Sermon illustration contains a complicated mix of sports references, “e.g. God wants us to hit it out of the park so that we score a touchdown and win the race.” = – 1 point for each reference.
23. You get the distinct feeling that this illustration came from a 2 minute search on google for “sermon illustrations about mountains.” = – 2 points
24. Despite having used the same sermon illustration every year for the last 14 years, the pastor still says, “So the other day I was talking with my wife.” – 2 points
25. Sermon illustration contains one of the following phrases: “my only option was to fight the cobra with my bare hands,” “and that’s when I knew there were too many ninjas on that boat,” or “so that’s when I decided to buy cotton candy for the whole congregation.” = +5 points
26. The sermon illustration is actually an urban legend that could have been proven false with a 14 second search on Snopes.com = - 3 points
27. During the middle of the sermon a prop connected to the sermon illustration (a wall, a pole, a ladder, etc.) falls over and hits the pastor knocking him out cold. = no points
28. While he’s out cold none of the worship band standing on stage is willing to give him mouth to mouth and a nurse has to scale the stage from the crowd to revive him. = - 10 points. (for shame, worship leaders, for shame.)
29. Your pastor actually died during a sermon series called Reaching Higher/Daniel/Mounting Up Wings Like an Eagle when a ladder fell on him/lion broke free of its handler/mechanical eagle he was riding into the sanctuary fell out of the rafters and I now feel horrible. = – 100 points for me.
If you or the pastor at your church scored more than 30 points, congratulations, that’s SIM country. (Sermon Illustration Master.) If you scored under 30, keep reading, keep writing and eventually you’ll get there. If you scored under 10, you need some serious help and I’m going to say two words that might solve all your sermon illustrations: Komodo Dragon. People love Komodo Dragon stories.
That’s today’s list, but surely I missed some.
What’s your favorite sermon illustration story?
30. The sermon illustration so touching and funny that you remember it for years afterward, but can't recall anything from the sermon even on the drive home. = + 5 points
ReplyDeleteThe DVD the pastor shows that blows everyone's mind more than his words ever did. Three words "Lou Giglio Laminin"
ReplyDeletethats some funny stuff there...any points awarded for the illustration actually being relevant to the topic? lol. someday i would be happy with that.
ReplyDeleteOnce one of my pastors brought in a REAL LIVE LAMB on Easter Sunday and then reminded us that this is what people had to slaughter with their bare hands.
ReplyDeleteHe had tried to hire the lamb but the owners told him they don't lease out animals. Do you think that deterred him? Do you think he sought out another establishment! No sir! He bought the lamb then and there. I still don't know what he eventually did with it though...
As Adam and Brian allude to, I can't actually remember what the sermon was about, but I do remember that the pastor was trying to make it seem real, when Jesus healed the blind man by spitting into the mud and rubbing it on the blind man's eyes. So the pastor stood before us and spit, for quite a while, into a fist full of dirt.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't actually earn points on the Sermon Illustration Score Card, so I'd like to formally petition that the following be added:
30.- Illustration actually calls for Pastor to produce some form of body fluid on the stage = 1 pt. per oz. of fluid.
@ Jeff...
ReplyDelete"bodily fluid on stage" ?!? How about it being = - NEVER. I think that's grounds for an immediate dismissal, or an exorcism at the very least.
Using my father who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer as an example of when bad things happen to good people = -50 points each time
ReplyDelete(My dad was always very gracious about it but I wanted to chuck a hymnal at my pastor.)
+1 point for every reference to 'this is what three year old kids said when asked...'. For example...'Little Sally, 4, was asked what she should pray for...and she replies My daddy to stop snoring so my mom can get some sleep, that's what she asked me to pray for.
ReplyDelete+ 2 if it was your kid used in the illustration
- 1 if it's something you've prayed yourself recently (including vacations, dogs, video games, action figures, muscles, etc. )
I have yet to use it in a public speaking setting, but "Daddy broke the attic" is one that was on my mind this morning, and one I hope to work into one of my presentations someday.
ReplyDelete(It was on my mind because my husband tossed and turned last night...and whined all day yesterday...because he had hurt his toe and he was in pain. If that had been one of our children, he would have told her to man up :-)
"+spooky" = awesome
ReplyDeleteI think the worst sermon illustrations I've heard involve Dear Abby columns. There's a certain breed of pastor that just loooooves Dear Abby.
I read these with a smile, but burst into loud laughter at number fourteen.
ReplyDeletebtw, according to your Dad's ethic, my Dad owes me a bajillion bucks. But he's gone now, I miss him and I forgive him that debt.
This post reminds me of the time I was walking on the beach with God and I asked Him why there were only one set of footprints in the sand...
ReplyDeleteUsing an illustration from a book but pretending like it happened to you. -10
ReplyDeleteUh, oh. #3 is not true according to Snopes. I'm crushed. That was the favorite illustration of my former pastor.
ReplyDeleteSlow Boiled Frog
My fave sermon illustration story -- a student speaker at our college chapel service was illustrating how prayer can stop temptation dead in its tracks. He had a couple of guys hold up a sheet, while he threw a hockey puck at it as hard as he could. He missed. The hockey puck went through the stage door. The CLOSED stage door.
ReplyDeleteThe sermon illustration involves Niagara Falls, a tightrope and a wheel barrow - 50 points...that story was old 20 years ago when it was first making the rounds!
ReplyDeleteThere was a minister in the town where I went to university who was a chaplain with the British SAS (USA: think the Navey SEALS). He completed all their training with them and went on missions. Talk about sermon jackpot!
ReplyDeleteHe came back from a holiday in South America one weekend with a limp, apparently he had gotten into a kick boxing competition with the world kick boxing champion.
James
Count me out on the Komodo Dragons. They made this big ol' deal about the Komodo Dragons coming to the Indianapolis Zoo this summer. Radio commercials, billboards, you name it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we saw 'em. They just sat there. I was underwhelmed.
-18 points.
Pastor destroys tennis rackets (or other stuff on the stage) to illustrate points about anger = +5 points. The fact I did that and giving myself points = -10 points.
ReplyDeletesermonillustrations.com
ReplyDeletesnopes.com isn't always accurate. There is a story on Snopes about a little church in the NC mtns whose doors were locked by the city because they didn't have adequate parking per city code. Since it was built into side of mountain, their lot had nowhere to expand. Unless the mountain moved. Long story short (go read it there for full story) the mountain moved. This is a true story. I know the pastor of the church. I heard the testimony from the church and sent the story via email to some friends. Next thing you know, story is viral and, according to snopes, false. But they never tried to research it. I emailed and corrected things from version they had (though gist is same) as well as gave them verifying info. Now? They changed from red to yellow. Don't believe everything they say.
@savinggrc,
ReplyDeleteGood point. Snopes has become accepted as gospel truth, but as you pointed out, it isn't. I, for one, am thoroughly shocked that someone would put something on the Internet that is not true.
Sermon illustration gone wrong. This happened at a church close to my hometown:
ReplyDeleteMotorcycle stunt backfires on Kokomo pastor
http://www.wthr.com/global/story.asp?s=8717453
referencing Beth's comment:
ReplyDeleteKomodo Dragons in captivity -18 pts
Komodo Dragons in the wild +bajillionty points
favorite sermon illustration seen in person: smashing a coconut & watermelon on stage to demonstrate missionaries under pressure in the field. +bajillionty points because I remember the point years later!
My favorite sermon illustration was when the pastor of the Friends church I attend (sweet, sweet irony) used "that's what she said" jokes as a hook.
ReplyDelete31- Sermon illustrations that call for a "volunteer" and have no obvious connention to the sermon, then proceed to throw muddy water on that volunteer ruining his shoes. -3 points
ReplyDeleteYou have got to stop making me laugh out loud at work. I'm getting funny looks.
ReplyDelete(Nah, on second thought, keep it up.)
The best sermon illustration in history was that pastor in South Wales who disguised himself as a homeless guy and sat on the steps of his church in the morning while all the parishoners came in. Nobody recognized him or offered him anything until he got up in the pulpit, took off his disguise, and preached on how no one recognized Jesus, either. True story (read here).
I'm surprised no one has mentioned my favorite sermon illustration: the little boy who stood in the offering plate. I've heard this one no fewer than 1 million times.
ReplyDeleteA teacher I had at missions college was doing a finale lecture on suffering and wanted us to remember the point clearly so he brought some large. very hot peppers and crushed them with a rock. As the odor spread through the room he talked about how trials and suffering can help Christians spread the essence, the odor, of Christ. Very memmorial. It became even more memmorial when a few minutes later he forgot he had pepper juice on his hands and he wiped his eyes. We were able to see a real-life example of suffering, and for that I believe he gets at least +5.
ReplyDeleteStill, I doubt anyone will ever beat a speaker at a conference I was at when I was about 15. The man was preaching on how a grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die to produce fruit. Near the end of his sermon he dropped dead on stage and they couldn't revive him. Talk about living what you preach.... I don't think I can ever forget that passage.
On the other hand, I now get slightly nervous whenever a psstor chooses that passage for his message. I'm thinking, maybe you don't want to go there.
Bummer, I never got paid a dollar for being a sermon illustration. I feel jipped...
ReplyDeleteFirst, I have to say David Crowder is notorious for #20--the "how is he gonna get back to God on this one...oh! wow...awesome."
ReplyDeleteSecond, I went to a church where the pastor brought in a real bear and its trainer to show how you have to spend quality time with someone if you want him/her to trust you and be in good relationship.
Third, I remember a few of Francis Chan's sermon illustrations from at least 6 years ago. He brought his youngest daughter on stage & pretended to nail her to a cross to show how hard it was for God to crucify Jesus. And he brought a chicken leg up on stage & showed how when we don't specially give time to God, we give him a nasty eaten up chicken bone as an offering of our time. AWESOME.
"20. At the beginning of the illustration you think, “I have no idea where he is going, this can’t tie back to God” and at the end you think, “that makes perfect sense.” = +3 points"
ReplyDeleteI call that the "Bob Ross" illustration...one minute he's painting happy little clouds, then he paints a HUGE brown line down the middle of it and you're thinking, "how can he ever recover...what the heck is that?". But then, with second left to go, he goes to the trusty fan brush and said line becomes a happy little tree in the foreground, most likely by a stream and a little shack at the foot of a mountain. Epic.
@Huck-wha...wai...you mean I'm not going to ge...oh dear. sigh I guess no million bucks is going into my checking account this week. That's pretty craptacular.
ReplyDeleteIf the sports reference is the Boston Red Sox, all points should be doubled because they broke the Curse of the Bambino!
ReplyDelete(Please note, I'm not a Red Sox fan, but my boss, aka the pastor, is)
I love awesome sermon illustrations... and bad ones, definitely fodder for the after lunch dissection of the sermon.
ReplyDeleteI was at a youth retreat in HS, and the speaker had this illustration going on... throughout the entire sermon....
She kept holding up a banana and saying, "What's this?" and we'd all shout "A banana!!" until she got to her point, where she peeled the banana to reveal that inside was not actually a banana but a hot dog. I don't remember exactly what it was.. I think probably about judging someone on the outside vs what's on the inside... but that illustration certainly stayed with me!
Funny post! Personally I would rather my pastor spend his time studying the scripture than trying to figure out how to get a Komodo dragon to ride a motorcycle across the stage just to make a point.
ReplyDeleteWish my dad had known about the $1 for every time he mentions you. Heck, I was visiting my parents at the church my dad pastors on Father's Day and got a positive mention from the pulpit. As an adult, that $1 has to inflate, right? I should be entitled to what, $100?
ReplyDeleteTwo weeks ago, my pastor showed a Susan Boyle clip as part of a sermon illustration. The sermon was talking about when Samuel went to annoint David king, and clip went towards making a point about not looking at outward appearance.
ReplyDeleteThe next week, when he talked about David's adultery (we just finihsed a 3 week series on David), the pastor told this incredible story about a guy he knows; a reformed racists who is now a pastor of a large church. Yesterday, the pastor reffered to both Michael Jackson and Bernie Madoff (he was talking about David's legacy).
Oh and our former pastor (the pastor we have right now is an interim pastor; we're currently in the process of finding a new senior pastor), sat in a lawn chair as part of a sermon illustration. He leaned back too far, flipped over, and fell out of the chair. Thankfully, he was okay, and he just laughed about the whole thing.
I once told a friend who is a senior pastor that I would give him a dollar if he could work in a good Shakira illustration for the next day's sermon. He related the song "hips don't lie" to being fishers of men...and he did it well. I gladly gave up that dollar.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy a good sermon illustration occasionally, but I absolutely love the fact that my current pastor hardly ever uses them. He just brings the Word of God and let's it speak for itself. It is so incredibly nourishing without all the "additives."
ReplyDeleteThe most vivid illustration was not in church but in a youth group I was visiting. We walk in to the youth group, and there are two goldfish swimming around in a blender. The youth pastor removed one of the goldfish to represent Christians who do not face hell. However the unsaved are in more danger than the goldfish in the blender. A lot of the students were freaking out, worried that the youth pastor was going to blend the fish. One girl unplugged the blender, but the youth leader plugged it back in. It turns out that the blender was broken so we did not see a fish frappe... but there were some loud protests over the fish.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was giving a talk on "Christian Standards" once and took the American flag out of its little holder thing, scraping it across the ceiling and knocking white plaster onto the heads of the first three rows.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know if this counts as an illustration fail but once, during a spirited holy jig our music leader kicked the communion grape juice off the stage and onto the lovely light-colored carpet, causing the cleaning lady (also a member of the church) to fly down the aisle, carpet cleaner in hand to clean it up.
Good times.
I remember as a child when missionaries from Africa came for a visit. One of their illustrations/demonstations was to show us what food was like in their area.
ReplyDeleteIn typical missionary style, they hand out this edible ground grain, and while folks are about to munch, they tell that this food is usually filled with worms and maggots where they come from.
Good eats.
How many points do you lose for using a joke I remember from grade school?
ReplyDeleteHow about a joke your mom heard in grade school?
I think you should lose points for all the people that remember the illustration and forget the message.
I give a big plus to an illustration that is about the message and that is followed thru in the entire sermon.
WV-ardstses--using a sermon illustration is an ardsteses many preachers don't have.
LexLaura, that is too funny. Wish I had thought of that.
ReplyDeleteAlmost half of your office gets saved: 10 points.
ReplyDeleteAn SCL illustration: bajillionty points.
Jon, I think your priorities are a little out of whack.
Plus, boiling a frog? Has someone used that illustration?
Not really a sermon illustration but an excellent way to get attetion from the pulpit. If you go to a church and they ask visitors to raise their hands to be recognized you're gonna love this. Sit next to someone unassuming (read: has forgotten you're obnoxious). Just when the pastor asks for visitors to raise their hands and you sense the pastor's eyes coming toward your section of the sanctuary, tell the person next to you, "Man, that's a sweet watch. Can I look closer?" As soon as his/her arm comes your way throw that bad boy up in the air with a good amount of force. Your friend will get called out for lying to the pastor. At that point you look at them, disgusted, and shake your head as if to say, "You horrific heathen!"
ReplyDeleteI have done this. It is spectacular.
I saw one as a kid where an associate pastor was preaching (there's an idea for an entry for a post for you), and he was using an apple as a prop. The idea was that he would cut up the apple at the beginning, and by the end of his sermon, the apple would have started to turn brown. He would then relate this back to sin, or something. The trouble was that, as a novice preacher, he went through his sermon way too fast, and the apple hadn't turned yet, rendering the fruit prop useless.
ReplyDeleteHa! My Dad also had to pay us $1 whenever he used us in an illustration. That little situation came about when my Mom took all of us kids out of town for the weekend, and while we were gone my Dad used a particularily embarrassing incident as an illustration while we were gone.
ReplyDeleteEnd result - we got payed when he used us in his sermon.
My Senior Pastor once challenged the Associate Pastor to use "aluminum siding" (a la Leap of Faith) in the announcements during our Easter service. He pulled it off, and quite well at that.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I know I've mentioned this one before but whatever...
ReplyDeleteThe week before Christmas, the fresh out of bible college new staff pastor starts his sermon with "Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus?" - 100
And since in the first service, it only sent 2 families out the back doors with crying children, he repeats it in the second service.
Lawsome.
No points for an out cold pastor? Dewd, you're harsh. I'd pay to see that.
ReplyDeleteMy most favorite illustration was given by a pastor that kept referencing Bono from U2. But he pronouced it "Bo-No" (like Sunny Bono). I was sitting in the 3rd row, so I HAD to contain myself. The beauty is, it comes up in conversation every once in awhile and we all giggle.
ReplyDeleteTwo sermon illustrations that I heard in high school that scarred me for life:
ReplyDeleteOne was about a little boy who picked up some baby worms to go fishing with, except they go were actually baby rattlesnakes that bit him and he died.
The other was about a kid who gets in with a bad crowd who convinces him to
assault a couple on a date, and the girl ends up being his sister. Ick.
I have no idea if either of those stories are true, and I don't remember anything about the actual message. Traumatizing sermon illustrations have to be worth major negative points. And I'm pretty sure they were both given by guest speakers, probably horrifying the pastor who invited them to speak.
Ah, the boiling frog-one of the favorites of my high school pastor!
You are like my daily dose of whatever it is I seem to need (think harder/deeper about stuff, reflect on life......today I needed to laugh.
ReplyDeleteDing ding.
You did it!
Good stuff!
Our pastor spent a lot of time in Bush Alaska before he was our pastor. He told a story of when his little kid(who is an adult in the congregation) ran up to him saying "Dad! Dad! so-and-so is in trouble in the outhouse! So the pastor assumed, he just needed some help with the paperwork. He goes in and the kid is hanging from the seat by his feet and fingers. He really was in trouble! This had to be one of the most memorable stories my pastor told. There was an application for it, but naturally i forgot :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jon for introducing me to Matt Chandler. King of awesome sermon illustrations. The first 10 minutes of this sermon made my guts hurt, I laughed so hard: http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/20060903CA01S_MattChandler_EcclesiastesPt07-ApproachingTheDivine.mp3
ReplyDeleteThe best sermon illustration I've ever seen in person.... involved a literal column of salt. No idea how they got that behemoth moved into the church.
Our minister's sons were running wild last Sunday. They were bouncing around in front of the Praise Team. When she came up to give the sermon, she said she gets her ideas from her kids. And she was sure the fact that they spilled the grape juice for Communion all over the table had meaning to it. At Communion, she did work the puddles into God's overflowing grace. I was impressed at the illustration on the fly.
ReplyDeleteKomodo Dragon. Yes...I can see where you'd go with that...
ReplyDeleteHey, my first day here, like it! I'll be back.
Looking forward to the book club, when's the next book starting and what is it? Or is that info coming in the near future? Thanks!
Betcha can't beat this one.
ReplyDeleteHe put a coffee maker on the pulpit, explained how it worked, and then worked up to the conclusion: "God is the water, we are the beans."
Aside from driving home singing "We are the Beans" to the tune of "We are the World;" we spent the next day trying to figure out the illustration that managed to eclipse the rest of the sermon entirely.
We learned that day that the best illustrations are somewhat flawed; you chew over them over the ride home and for the next several weeks.
At our previous church, the sermons and illustrations were flawless. A work of art. We drove home discussing the hat Mrs. Brown was wearing, or the financial numbers in the bulletin.
An imperfect illustration is better than one that fits like a glove. The more rough edges, the better.
We are the beans.
lol at #19
ReplyDeleteSo my word verification here is "DOERAVE". I was going to post something else but I couldn't pass this opprotunity up, with SCL having a throwback to electronic music a few days back.....
ReplyDeleteIf your pastor can somehow get Deer into your church with awesome neon pants and get them to start dancing to holy electronica (wherever that comes from) ... aka a doerave ...
+ billiongajillioninfinity
Sorry folks I'm a random person :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteso many...#24 is so true! Only some of the illustrations I have heard are the same ones my mom heard in the 70's. lol One that was a favorite at my Bible college was when our president would sing about Ole Mose...he was a slave that was set free and he would intertwine it with an old hymn...another fave was the one about the missionary whose child was bitten by a snake in her crib and they woke up to find her dead but they never gave up so neither should we...
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, #17 happened to me. I haven't stepped foot in a church since.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourite bible college lecturers, now promoted to glory, was a great preacher and master of those stories that get you laughing so hard that you lower your guard, and the truth suddenly comes through and skewers you. The real key is that they're not just funny stories, they're relevant to the truth they open the door for.
ReplyDeleteOne of his best stories was the one that didn't work, which he used to make the point in a preaching class that you must always know where you're going with an illustration, and how you're going to make the transition from the story to the point.
He'd been asked to be a keynote speaker at a minister's conference, and a few days before, heard a great, and very funny, true story (sports related, so already in the points) and decided, although it wasn't directly related to his topic, to use it as his introduction because it was such a great story.
He stood up, and began to tell the story, getting the early laughs, connecting with the congregation, warming to his task, and suddenly realised he'd forgotten how the story ended. Being a master story teller, he figured he'd just pad the tale out until it came to him. 20 minutes later, it still hadn't come back and he had to sit down, not only without having given his message, but without even finishing his opening illustration. Lots of laughs, no sharp, penetrating truth - a cautionary tale to all us would be preachers - and the way he told it had us in stitches - shame he's not here to tell it to you himself.
I will be laughing about #14 for hours...maybe days to come.
ReplyDeletenice work.
It's funny to me that there are people who prefer churches that don't have illustrations. But it just goes to prove God reaches us right where we are.
ReplyDeleteWe actually opened a second campus for this purpose. Same message, same bulletin, same scripture references but two pastors that approach it differently.
Favorite Illustration: One of our teaching pastor's asked us to remember when we were first falling in love with our spouse and how everything reminds you of them. You see a rainbow and it spells their name. You pump gas and the fumes remind you of how intoxicating they are. blah, blah, bah ... That's how much God loves us. Every second of everyday since the beginning of eternity He has been thinking of each of us. Cool.
The best sermon illustration I can think of was when one of the pastors at my old church actually made and cooked a cake during the sermon !!! It was a lemon drizzle cake, and the sermon was all about the ingredients required for living the Christian life, or something like that. Each ingredient used in the cake had an analogy.
ReplyDeleteWe were all very impressed with the multi-tasking, and the fact that some of us got some free cake at the end of the service (which was actually really good!) (He also gave us the recipe along with the notes at the end!)
Unfortunately I can't now remember the specifics of what ingredient was supposed to represent what, but I do have some notes somewhere and it's one sermon I certainly won't forget in a hurry :-)
We go to a church where, blessedly, the illustrations are always first person and current--it might be in the Statement of Faith as a requirement. My stance is that if you can't find daily, if not hourly application of Bible truth worthy of a sermon illustration in your very own life, then you aren't paying attention OR you are far too insulated from reality and have no business teaching other people. That being said (as I purse my lips and brush off my hands) a few weeks ago we had a guest speaker and he used a clip from the Man vs. Wild episode with Will Ferrell to illustrate our dependence on the Holy Spirit. I whispered to my husband, "Is Bear Grylls the Holy Paraclete in this little scenario?"
ReplyDeleteYears ago, my sister was visiting my church when the pastor decided to take grapes in his hand and squeeze them to illustrate Jesus body being crushed and blood being spilled. My sister enjoyed a nice spray of juice from the grapes.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally make me think of the part in Churched where the Sunday School teacher burns a Barbie as an illustration of hell.
ReplyDeleteA few months back a guest preacher used the illustration of Billy graham asking to meet Marilyn Monroe shortly before she died, along with a few other sordid illustrations, all with the same theme, "God is not mocked," or something like that. I checked this story on Google when I got home, and found, first, all the illustrations he'd used together on the same web page, along with a refutation of each one. If I'd found the refutations of these illustrations so easily, why couldn't this pastor, instead of just copying them from the e-mail he got them from? -50 points for this guy.
ReplyDeletei remember my pastor using Sumo wrestlers as an illustration..he got the 2 biggest guys in the church to dress up and actually perform a mock Sumo wrestling session before his sermon..was both funny and disturbing seeing those 2 huge guys in the sumo outfit. :)
ReplyDeleteWay too funny.
ReplyDeleteOne time in Sunday school I remember they used the illustration of when you light a match, blow it out, put it in a vase with a thin neck of some sort, then proceed to put a hard boiled egg on the top opening part...and the egg eventually slides down through the way too skinny part and into the bottom of the vase/jar...
I have no idea what the message was on because I was too busy wondering how that just happened.
@katdish Someone should have stood up and said "WHAT! THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS! I got to go home NOW and find out who breaks into my house every Christmas Eve!"
ReplyDeleteIn other words, why didn't you?
@Eric P - We had a similar thing at our church when the Pastor had a guy dress up as homeless man, and hang outside before the service, then about ten minutes in he came in to the church and stumbled down the aisle, which caused one of the old ladies in church to hit him with her handbag (awesomeness).
ReplyDeleteMy Dad once had a quiz as part of his sermon illustration. He threw boiled sweets out into the congregation as prizes and hit a ninety-three year old woman right in the middle of her forehead.
I am so glad that someone else recognizes the power of Komodo Dragons (both as a story prop, and as an actual animal).
ReplyDeleteI went with my best friend to Best Buy once to get a new power cord for his computer, and the guy at the counter asked what happened to his other one. I jumped in swiftly to answer, "A komodo dragon ate it. It was brutal."
We also later wrote a song called "Panic on the Cattle Ranch!" which involved, guess what, a Komodo Dragon.
The uses just go on and on!
My favorite illustration was one an elderly associate pastor would use a high percentage of times when he spoke, but he didn't preach often, so it didn't seem overused. It was about a boy who carved a boat out of wood, but then lost it down the river. He's very upset and his dad gives him a dollar to take into town the next day to buy something to make him feel better (a large sum of money in those days). He's window shopping and spots the boat he made in a store, runs in and tells the clerk, "That's my boat!" The clerk informs him he bought it from someone, and if the boy wants it, it'll cost him a dollar. The boy pays with tears in his eyes, takes the boat outside and hugs it to his chest. He says, "Little boat, I love you. First I made you and now I bought you." Obviously, this is a picture of God's love for us: He made us then He bought us. I left out a lot of details here. It was always very moving when the old man told it to us.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the multiple Lord of the Rings illustrations:
ReplyDelete. . . sin is like the ring
. . . even Bilbo never lost his taste for the ring
. . . Gandalf was more powerful after he had died
. . . being chased by Nazgul
. . . what is manna? It's like Lembas bread.
. . . when Frodo was entirely hopeless, his friend Sam (whom he had rejected) came to rescue him. (This one only works for Calvinists)
Bonus points if they refer to something in the book that is not in the movie, i.e. scourging of the Shire, Tom Bombadil, etc.
Minus points if the pastor doesn't get permission for the name drop.
ReplyDeleteDouble minus points when the illustration is unclear and causes listenerers to ask PKS embarassing clarifying questions i.e. "was your mom the live-in girlfriend, or was that someone else?"