As I've mentioned a few times, my dad is starting a church in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. In addition to helping him think through his blog and planning some sort of Stuff Christians Like event there this fall, I've also started to analyze all the critical pieces a church needs to have in place—like a youth group.
Now granted, if your mission field is retirement communities in Florida, then you probably don't need a thriving youth ministry. You need a rascal ministry, the little scooter that I plan on owning as soon as I hit my 70s. (Have you seen that commercial? The lady drives it to the edge of the Grand Canyon and then yells at it. Is there an elderly person in the world that's ever said, "I need some sort of scooter device with a ridiculous turning radius that can quickly deliver me to the precipice of national landmarks?”)
In addition to a wicked cool youth group room, which I laid out in detail in the Stuff Christians Like book, after reading Tyler Stanton’s “Essential Cast of a Mission Trip,” I realized there are 11 teenagers every youth group needs to be successful:
1. The guy that owns a Jeep.
When I was in high school I rotated between hating this guy and desperately wanting to be this guy. I don’t know how he got it but when I was getting dropped off by my mom in a blue Dodge Grand Caravan (wood paneling sides holla!) this guy was screaming into the parking lot in a rugged looking Jeep. I don't care who you are, having a Jeep in high school is like having a space shuttle. Girls love the Jeep guy.
2. The kid that hates God but got forced to attend because of her parents.
Don’t try to get this girl to play any youth group games, speak up during discussions or not kick the bucket of orange drink over when no one is looking. Ugh! I wouldn't even be here but my parents keep making me come. As soon as this girl gets her driver's license you'll never see her again. Or she'll become a Christian in what is a really touching transformation process. This one could go both ways.
3. The ridiculously beautiful girl that doesn't know it.
This girl is a lot of fun right up until the moment that you go to a camp or event where other youth groups are gathered and every guy in the tri-county region hits on her. Even though you're not dating her and she's told you the dreaded "you're like a brother to me" there's a part of you that thinks, "I wish all those guys from that other church would stop bothering Kim." (And by bothering I mean, "making her laugh and have a good time" two things that you are apparently incapable of.)
4. One obnoxious pastor's kid that thinks he's a celebrity.
I need to do a whole post on pastor's kids, but for now, let me just say that every youth group needs one who kind of thinks he's a celebrity. He's contextually famous, which just means a handful of people know who he is because his dad is the pastor but sometimes he acts like he's some sort of superstar. His name may or may not have been Jon Acuff.
5. The kid that wears shorts in the winter.
You could also call this kid "the contrarian" because when everyone else zigs, he's going to zag. Growing up in Massachusetts, there was always at least one kid that would wear shorts during the winter. It would be 10 degrees outside, he'd have a coat on and a pair of basketball shorts. Makes no sense, but then I shaved a stripe into my eyebrow a la Vanilla Ice when I was in the 9th grade so what do I know?
6. The guy that somehow got ordained at the age of 13.
You need at least one "mini-pastor" in training. The junior high doesn't offer seminary classes, but for some reason, this guy has a deep theological understanding of all things Bible. He's not going to be the best person to take on a late night youth group prank, but he's going to be awesome at helping you find Biblical reasons to support why the town should forgive you for that prank.
7. The group of people you'll talk to at youth group but pretend you don't know at school.
I think teenagers today are more secure than I was but back in the day, there were definitely, "youth group friends" and "in the hallway at school" friends. And when they accidentally collided together before math class it was always kind of a sweaty experience. We used to have a Bible study before school when I was a freshman and we'd all walk together to our first class and then immediately when we touched our feet onto school property we scattered in the halls like acne covered marbles that didn’t know each other. Good times.
8. That dude with an acoustic guitar.
You know who you are. Stop.
9. The guy whose girlfriend goes to church, so he's there too.
Save your PDA message for this guy, but realize that if they break up, there's an 82% chance you'll never see him again.
10. The cool kids from school that come to youth group for a brief period of time.
Maybe your youth group will never experience this strange phenomenon but when mine did, it was awesome. Out of nowhere someone pretty or cool decided that our church youth group was pretty or cool and started bringing all the popular kids. For about a year, youth group was amazing. Then the popular kids faded, in part due to the “Pizza Blast incident” and a wave of dorkiness spread across our youth group like a dark cloud climbing the coast of New England.
11. The kid that farts all the time.
Hate this kid. Hate getting placed on the same retreat van with him. Hate getting placed in the same cabin with him. Hate sitting near him at youth group. Still thought he was kind of funny though.
Who did I miss? It's been 15 years since I was in youth group and I've probably grown out of touch and perhaps even a little rickety. Might be a storm a comin' soon, my knee is acting up. Bring the rascal in, she hates to get wet.
What youth group stereotype did I forget?
Should this post be "The 11 people every youth group needs"? Or are there three people on the list a youth group could do without???
ReplyDeleteI also think that many of the essential cast of a mission trip are the same kids that are in your youth group...
I meant to stay should be the same kids. Not that you are copying, because that's how it read when i reread it just now.
ReplyDeletelol @ #3
ReplyDeleteI was totally Kim's friend.
I seriously was laughing out loud this morning with this.....
ReplyDeleteI have a perfect image of our church's youth group and can place a photo near each of your descriptions.....too funny!
#5- I do not get wearing shorts in winter in New England. And I am seriously getting to an age where I want to lean out my car window whenever I pass a bus stop and shout, "Put on some pants! Zip your jacket! And cut your hair!"
ReplyDeletethe home school kids...
ReplyDeleteAmity -
ReplyDeleteI wrote the headline "8 kids" and then realized there were 3 others that needed to be there. Thanks for the catch, I appreciate that
Jon
The fat kid that thinks he is athletic and is overly competitive.
ReplyDeleteIsn't there always that shrimp-like kid who achieves all of his social standing by eating/drinking whatever anyone dares him to? I vaguely remember departing retreat busses and hearing stories of ABC gum and multiple liters of Mountain Dew being consumed by this kid, and telling everyone about it as if he was a walking science experiment.
ReplyDeletethe homeschooled siblings: these are the 2 or 3 teen-aged kids from the birkenstock-and-jumper wearing homeschool family in your church. they may be too good (or too socially awkward) for the public school system, but in a desperate attempt to socialize them, their parents have enrolled them in EVERY SINGLE activity that the youth group provides -- that's right, even the trash pick up service project in the middle of july. these are really great kids to have in the youth group, though, because they are such eager beavers to make friends that they won't hit on kim, they'll talk to the girl who hates God (much to her disdain, but they don't pick up on subtle social signals), they won't hate the pseudo-celeb PK like everyone else does, and there's no awkwardness at school, because they aren't there.
ReplyDeletealso:
the drummer: he's definitely in the marching band, and he's definitely ADD. everything around him becomes a drum, and when the youth praise team recruits him, suddenly all the songs are double-time. worship has never been so efficient.
When I was in youth group we took a trip to another church. As the pastor was speaking he had mentioned another pastor named pastor Geekus. My friend that I was sitting next to saw me crack a smile when hearing the name "Geekus". So he started whispering "Geekus...Geekus...Geekus" in my ear, trying to get me to ROPL (Roll On the Pew Laughing). So I don't know if anyone has ever had the kid-that-tries-to-make-you-laugh-at-an-innapropriate-time in your youth group. That's too many hyphens.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the sponsor's kid.....most likely homeschooled, a little "weaker" than the other boys and hangs with the adults. He never gets roughed up because Mamma always seems to be right there and this is probably the whole reason she is a youth sponsor.
ReplyDeleteI had a kid in mind for about half of these. Which make me chuckle, haha. Oh youth group kids, gotta love 'em.
ReplyDeleteHaha! I love this.
ReplyDeleteThis is so timely you wrote this, because right now I'm reminiscing on Facebook with my former youth pastor's wife about our trips to the Creation Music Festival.
We had a lot of guys with guitars in my youth group, including my youth pastor! Most of them were acutally quite good (my youth pastor is an AMAZING guitar player).
I was the fart kid. I'm sorry. I took a lot of "prophylactic Pepto-Bismol" in advance of youth group meals (which always involved pizza and/or nacho cheese and/or Mountain Dew) but it usually didn't work.
ReplyDeleteThe guy who is no longer a youth, but hangs around for a couple more years, anyway, as a "volunteer."
ReplyDeleteThe child of youth group leaders, too young on paper to be part of youth group, but allowed to come, anyway. When older, he or she uses his or her off-the-record years as a trump card of experience whenever the youth group's youth leadership try to decide something.
The church retreat, mission trip veteran: He or she goes on every trip, and if no trip is planned, joins other churches' youth groups for their trips.
Let's not forget the "emotional worshipper(s)", seen most at church camp or youth retreats when mom, dad and school classmates are most distant and unable to observe the transformation into super-spiritual mode. seen arguing with siblings and parents ten minutes after getting off the church camp bus. often come as packs of girls in the front row.
ReplyDeleteWe have one kid who kinda breaks the mold. He is kinda awkward, and lanky, but he is SO into magic tricks. He brings a deck of cards with himself everywhere he goes.
ReplyDeleteWe also have the loud girl. There is always one girl who just loves to be really loud for no real reason (we actually have several of these).
Here are few you may have missed:
ReplyDelete- the soloist: she signs at every event
- the athletic brothers: the two boys who have to be separated whenever there are sporting activies so that they cannot dominate the rest of the group (bonus points if they're twins)
- the cryer: overly sensitive "person" (we all know this is a female) who crys at the drop of a hat... or pants, if she happens to be present when you pants someone and she sees a pair of tighty-whiteys and is scared for life
- the clutz: he/she will get injured at every event usually due to their own actions; he is the reason there are waiver forms and why you can't go back to certain ammusement parks.
- the kid from out of town: this boy/girl will move in from another area and totally upset the balance of your youth group (sometimes good, sometimes bad)
What about the student worship leader that sings and prays with a british accent, like Matt Redman (I went to youth group in the 90s when he was BIG), and when called out on it...has no idea what you are talking about. I had a few of those in my youth group. I'm not sure if they thought speaking/singing w/ an accent made them closer to God or what!
ReplyDeleteLet's not forget about the athiest or agnostic who comes because he wants to put his/her opinions on the table. Usually they end up either never coming back after the bible wiz has a few words to respond with.
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if anyone's mentioned this, it's very possible, but what about the kid (normally a girl) who knows all the Correct Theological Answers to the youth pastor's Seriously Obvious Questions which he asks about The Passage We've Just Read?
She's always the one who breaks the awkward silence with a short sigh and says, "Well I guess what Paul MEANS is..."
Michael @ 5:48, agree wholeheartedy with your suggestions.
ReplyDeleteThe guy who continues to hang around the youth group as a "volunteer" causes me to raise an eyebrow. Especially if he's 21+. And even more so if he's not aspiring to be a youth leader.
Sorry. It's just the way you think when you're the mother of a teenage girl.
my favorite is the guy (often the same as acoustic guitar guy... but not always) who dates/flirts with all the girls in the youth group.
ReplyDeleteIt's important to have him so that the youth group can go through a lot of teenage drama, giving the youth pastor lots of applicable material for messages (ie, anti-gossip message pointed at the girls, how far is too far message pointed at the guys, etc.), and also giving the youth a chance to "go through something" and then come out of it "more unified."
What about the guy youth volunteers that are clearly in their mid to late twenties yet still flattered by the attention of teenage girls? CREEPY. And some of them (I know a few) waited until the day the girls graduated highschool and then asked them out and are now married. Even more creepy.
ReplyDeletethe amish kid.
ReplyDeleteturtleneck, hair secured in a tight bun, and molasses-colored wool stockings regardless of season.
What about the kid that gets hurt at EVERY event. Doesn't matter if it's capture the flag or raking the widow's leaves. It's usually always a male. In some youth groups this category manifests itself as the GQ model/jock. And in other youth groups it will be manifested as the gangly-awkward-no coordination-guy. Funny thing is, when they both come back with a broken foot from raking leaves, somehow the GQ model gets sympathy and is given a purple heart and a badge of courage from all the girls. And the other guy gets something from the girls too, but it's usually the look of "how stupid can you be? You break your foot while raking leaves? Who does that?"
ReplyDeleteThe dangerous kid from the wrong side of the tracks. The church van picked up him and his little sister and bussed them out to the suburbs every Sunday. You probably never saw him smoking but we all know he did.
ReplyDeleteOur teen group:
ReplyDeleteSTINKY- true stench, but says "I don't care" you finally respond "I do care & next time I'm taking you home & can come back when you don’t stink. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it.
SLEEPY- the teen that is sexually active and it is your job to teach them what their parents don't have morality.
BUMPY- just don’t understand when you make them cover up their breast, butt, or underwear. Indignant when they tell you, my momma bought this for me. You do not discuss momma but let them know your standards are different and provide a t-shirt or belt. They will fight for the right to expose themselves in public, you must win and teach them modesty.
DOPEY- you know he uses drugs & probably sells them. You find a way to discretely firmly tell him “you do anything here you will be arrested”. Then treat him like everyone else. Be careful and see if this may be a SLEEZY.
SLEEZY- this teen is the predator, important to discover him and beat him off his prey before it is too late. To protect others you have to close the door to him. He is charming, a magnet, talented but deadly. Many others have closed that door also. The last door will be a cell door or coffin door. You pray there is someone that can save them before it is too late. When they truly repent (not lie about it) they will turn the world upside down.
NEEDY- this teen is so needy that they are prey to SLEEZY. They will do anything to be noticed or loved, they will lie, steal, do anything perverted to appease their predator. They are annoying, clingy or aloof but it is volatile, and almost futile.
WIKKY- this person looked for love in all the wrong places. They will leave these evil practices when they see a better way. They may try to intimidate or scare you, but respect you when you don’t respond.
PUNKY- this person wears his vile practices on his clothes and has tattoos or piercing to show his allegiance to all you disagree with. With the right love and encouragement he will change. Sometimes if offensive enough you treat the same as Bumpy.
HURTY- this person cannot handle the pain they are in so they cut themselves or wrecklessly try to hurt themselves (more than the usual bumps or bruises. This teen is on a path of destruction and uses anything to mask that pain with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or sex. You pray, try to direct them and cry for them.
GRUMPY- this teen takes a lot of patience; they won't everyone to know how miserable they are. You hug, love them and listen b/c their pain and their life is more horrendous than you ever could believe. You pray they change before they slip into Hurty.
THINKY- they want everyone know how smart they are by correcting and disagreeing, and letting you know they are smarter than you. You resist the temptation to beat them repeatedly about the head and shoulders and try to teach them humility.
WINNY: they will meet any challenge they are over competitive will win at all costs. They are the 1st to raise their hand and volunteer for anything. You want to be on their team.
HAPPY- the kid that has horrible parents, horrible sibling but decides to put a smile on their face & do their very best.
You love all of them.
The guy that every girl in the youth group has dated... at least once.
ReplyDeleteThe mascot - this kid might have a cronic illness, or be the kids that says completely absurd and random things at awkward moments, or he might be the one who's willing to do anything (like eat an entire can of raw SPAM in one bite). For whatever reason - everybody likes him.
The clown - the guy or girl who can cheer anyone up. Also the one who blurts out funny stuff in the middle of serious prayer time.
The guy who completely annialates everybody in the youth group games. He's athletic enough to help your team win frisbee football, but he's not jock enough to make the varsity football team at school.
The outcast. This kid desperately wants to be one of the cool kids but is alwats the last on picked. They rarely get to sit in the "youth row" during shurch services, and when they do they're always on the end. They're not the bed-wetter at camp, but they always get stuck in the same cabin as the bed wetter. The irony ofthe outcast is he/she is well liked by kids from other youth groups while shunned by his/her own.
The project kid. Everyone assumes that this kids is not a Christian because he wears Metallica t-shirts, has long hair, and doesn't talk much. The rest of the group prays over him frequently, and everybody wants to be the one that leads him to Jesus. He never tells anyone that he loves GOD because he finds the attention amusing.
The kid who's there only because his parent's attend the church. This kid doesn't want to be there. Not because he hates church, but because he wants to go to a different youth group. But his parents have the "as long as you live in our house you will go to our church rule."
the emo kids...nobody but God likes them and we cant get rid of them...even with pam spray
ReplyDelete"The Posse" There is always a beautiful girl who doesn't know she's beautiful but there is also her "Posse". The group of girls (shorter, nerdier, uglier) that follows her around just to see if they can convince a few of her male fans that they aren't good enough and should probably date someone fromt the Posse instead.
ReplyDeleteIn my youth group there are the band kids.
ReplyDeleteNo, not the marching band kids. The worship band kids. Extensions of "That dude with an acoustic guitar" that believe they are the coolest thing since they can play an instrument.
In all seriousness, there are also the servant leaders. The kids who are serious about God and serve by helping set up whatever needs to be done.
Oh wait... I forgot the mooner. the guy (usually a guy but once in a while it's a girl) that never turns down an opportunity to moon someone. There's usually two or more of them in a group... no one like to be the only one caught with their pants down. It's all fun and games 'til they moon the camera during a group picture and the picture ends up on a here's-what-we-did-on-our-retreat photo collage in the church lobby.
ReplyDeleteForgot:
ReplyDeleteSLEEZY: Is your best friend until you say no then turns on you and persuades others by taking the "your judging me, i'm a victim" He also been thrown out of at least 3 schools.
If SLEEZY survives turns into
Mr. Creepy: This guy may 20-60 does not know you and does not want to know you. All the teens hanging at his house b/c they say he is cool. They plead his case saying "he ain't doin anything wrong he is just lonely, they will lie to your face to protect him b/c he is furnishing the money (in exchange for his pleasure), or provides cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. Get an address and license plate the police are very interested in this guy.
Oh, snap. David Carrel just called me out.
ReplyDeleteI always hated the singers. These would be the girls that walk around singing all the time, perfectly off key, and don't understand why none of the boys like them.
Then there's the kid that thinks he/she knows more Bible than the youth pastor. As a youth pastor, I kind of enjoyed the girl in our youth group that came every week with a new challenge, but deep down, I was also relieved when she didn't show up. And I know this is mean, but I haven't missed her once since moving out of state.
And finally, there's the kid that really is smarter than the youth pastor. He may not know as much Bible, but he knows more about everything else. I had a kid like this in youth group, and I loved the kid. I always pretended to know what he was talking about, though, so he wouldn't know I wasn't as smart as him.
My time in youth ministry really confirms your list.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the pastor's assistant. Not really popular, not very spiritual, but wants to be the pastor's right hand man at every event.
The awkward homeschooler cliche. They have the fashion sense from the late 1980s or 1990s (depends on the family) Their hair is either permed, curled, or completely straight parted on the side. And then cool Christian school cliche who spent all their time together. And they have the complete opposite fashion sense.
ReplyDeleteGuess which one I fell into? Oh, excuse me, I have to remove my curlers.
The Judge - This kid loves to take at least one "retreat" session a year to point out how awful you are as a group but will also point out wrong-doings individually as he sees fit.
ReplyDeleteWe had one like this and his dad was just like him. They don't go to our church anymore.
When all but a couple of kids in your youth group are homeschooled, then the awful(and mostly inaccuraye) stereotype of homeschooled kids becomes one of public (dear Lord in Heaven, how can those parents live with themselves?) school kids. They are awkward because, unlike the rest of the kids in yg, they have no clue about talking with anyone outside their age group and cannot understand why the rest of the kids like to hang with all those "old people."
ReplyDeleteThey end up begging their parents to homeschool them as well so they can have a custom-made school schedule and get more than 2weeks off at Christmas.
We had the geeky awkward kid whose mother let him skip 2 grades of homeschool, so he got to join youth group - you guessed it - 2 years early.
ReplyDeleteHe tried way too hard to gain acceptance in the group (with his book smarts, of course); thus, making everyone loathe him even more. Maybe if he would have quit picking his nose...
You missed one...from personal experience: I was the only "ethnic" person in an all white church. I was a mexican kid in the youth group and would always get picked on and be the outcast until we went to mexico where I was pushed in front to translate for the same group that treated me badly all other times
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with a few of these and add some of my own.
ReplyDeleteThe Dare Kid- does anything you dare him to
the "hey there buddy" kid - the kid who is so quiet that you can't remember his name
The incessant talking middle schooler- enough said...
At my church growing up, the shorts wearing guy, the jeep guy, and the guitar guy (or singer)were all the same guy. I hated that guy. He was 3 years younger than me, taller, better looking, and a chick magnet. I went to college and got away from him. He followed me there and then got married one week before I did....I think I need to go pray! Man I love youth ministry!
The tech kid who think he knows everything. But really he knows just enough to be dangerous and you wouldn't leave him alone with a light switch....
ReplyDeleteWHIMPY: has no confidence, has been babied, not made to do anything. Lots of encouragement and ignore their whines and don’t let them whimp out. They are so unsure of themselves but there is a breakthrough when they meet a challenge. If allowed will gripe about everything and say i'm bored, must be challenged.
ReplyDeleteWHINNY- produce tears, scream, whine anything to get the other person in trouble, they are the victim. Some have learned this is the way to get their way, (must let them know it won’t work with you) You may suspect that some WHINNY and SLEEPY have been molested.
ANGRY- this teen will erupt into anger, cussing, hitting, and leaving. They will be the victim. Be strong with them don’t put with it. Let them know you will call the police if necessary. In time you will find them broken and crying as the healing begins.
SQUEEZY- this teen wants to hug all over everyone, but it’s not that nice innocent hug. You respond with get off them! They respond as the victim that :wasn’t doin nuthin wrong”, don’t believe them. Refrain from calling them “you little pervert”.
DIPPY- this teen can always make you laugh; can use anything as a prop, just naturally funny. Surround yourself with them you need them.
Forgot:
Forgot: Dopey will have to choose between the teen friends that stay loyal to you and SLEEZY
SLEEZY- Is your best friend until you say no then turns on you and persuades others by taking the "your judging me, i'm a victim" He also been thrown out of at least 3 schools.
HAHA WV:
outlick
The over zealous youth minister that won't let the teens out do them. uh yeah
I think you may have forgotten one person: The Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana of youth group. She's got the best of both worlds and know one knows her true identity. She looks like a straight-laced kid making her parents proud, and most parents assume she is near-perfect every day of the week. However, none of the parents or members of the youth group realize she can be found partying, smoking and sinning most Fridays and Saturdays. This girl more than likely goes to school in a different district than the others. In fact, you could even go as far as to say she is voted the president of youth group mainly to drive her parents to believe the smell of cigarette smoke mixed with bad imitation perfume is all in their head.
ReplyDeleteThis may seem pretty deceptive--because it is; but, all in all, this girl basically wants to have her fun and eat communion bread too.
The most hillarious guy in my youth group was probably a rare one to find, but once you have him, its like gold!
ReplyDeleteDid you ever have that kid who knew way to much about a certain movie. ie. Lord of the Rings, and you didn't know how he managed to do it, but everytime you would have any kind of conversation the topic would somehow get to Lord of the Rings. ANd it got especially funnier when you're in the middle of a small group having a very spiritual conversation and this kid makes his analogy to do with God and gandalf the grey. Or if he's telling you about this pretty girl he just met he starts telling you of her beauty and how its comparable to Arawin and her hair is as beautiful as the sun rising on an autumn day in the shire. And you're like, please... Please. PLEASE. Don't talk to her like that! She'll be terrifiedd!
I don't know if this has been said but:
ReplyDelete1. The Gamer (the kid that knows all the video games and parks himself at the Playstation all night - usually rocks the upper lip peach fuzz until age 17)
2. The kid that will volunteer himself in every game, will eat anything, and is usually annoyingly loud and up in your face/bidness 24/7 but you have to love him and you kind of know the youth group wouldn't be the same without him
3. The ADD kid whose mom brings him every week so she can just have a break
I love all of these! And I can put a picture next to most.
ReplyDeleteHere's one that's gonna make me sound pathetic, but I think we've all seen (and in my case, been) this kid:
The one who's only at church every other Sunday because of parent visitation. They might make it to Wednesday stuff, but they never seem to fit in on Sunday morning (never know what's going on in the teaching, still learning worship songs when everybody else knows them...)
Yes, I was that kid. Add in that I was at my dad's Episcopal church on my off Sundays, and I was also the only one in my Baptist youth group who had tasted wine (soaked on a cracker, but still.)
Seriously, I survived it. But these kids must still be out there. My favorite people at youth group were those who welcomed me back without saying, "We've missed you lately; hope you can come more regularly."
I remember the kids who always liked to do dramatic presentations...human videos in particular (I wrote an entire entry once about human videos). The human videos were sometimes about the dangers of drinking and drugs, but we all knew that the actors partied on the weekends.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the couple that gets married young.
And there's also a couple that breaks up due to some spiritual reasons, like the guy doesn't want to kiss before marriage or something.
What about that exasperating parent of one of the youth that comes along for trips?
ReplyDeleteWhat about the kid who "you know" struggles with homosexuality and he/she doesn't yet; or maybe he/she knows there is something different about themselves and is TERRIFIED to name it OR is "out" and does not care who knows it. When we are loved and encouraged in our relationship with Jesus we grow to see life differently. Kids helping kids to become Holy, Whole and Healthy. Just say'n...
ReplyDeleteThe group of no less than three (3)girls who want to be the best singers in the group, and want you to say so. They're marked by the finger plugging their right ear and multiple lilts of voice in the word "Jesu-u-us" and extra "Mmm-mm-mm"s.
ReplyDeleteWe always had a kid who wanted to pretend to be a drug dealer, and talked like he was tough. Sometimes, he would smoke a cigarette in the parking lot but never inhaled.
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ReplyDeleteI distinctly remember the gigglers. Normally a group of 2 to 3 girls who are very pretty (but unlike Kim, they know they are pretty and work hard at it) and spend much of their time huddled together whispering, pointing at the acoustic guy, and giggling. They are also the go to group when you want someone to suggest a car wash as a fundraiser.
ReplyDeleteHow about this the college student who would make an awesome youth leader and all the kids look up to him and will do whatever he says?
ReplyDeleteOr the parens every youth group needs - the ones who are so afraid their kids will question something they have said that they become chaperones so they can tell the kids things like, "Good Christians don't date or celebrate Halloween."
What about the mother hen? The girl who may or may not be olderthan her peers, but somehow is always taking care of everyone else? She is there with a plate of freshly-baked cookies, always has a listening ear, sets up and takes down for every event, but rarely participates because she is too busy in the prayer room or waiting to help someone out? At weddings, she is the girl helping the bride pee by holding the train of the gown.
ReplyDeleteShe can usually be found hanging with the adult leaders or the youth pastor. This is your go-to girl, spiritual cheerleader of sorts. This is the girl you ask to pray for you and dump on, but refuse to acknowledge outside of yg sponsored events.
The kid who starts the holding-hands-while-swaying-our-arms-in-the-air during worship at camp.
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny and true!
Haha, right on.
ReplyDeleteI may have a skewed view because I grew up on a tiny, isolated island with one youth group, so if you were going to a youth group, you went to this one, but I remember the following people. Some of these are more discussion-style archetypes, which may be a different post.
The kid with religious views that were markedly different from the rest of the group - maybe they're Catholic, or much more traditional than the rest of the group, or just had a different upbringing, but there were always a million little ways in which their convictions didn't line up with the majority. A lot of times they were an asset, since they occasionally rivaled the Junior Pastor for scriptural knowledge and provided a different perspective, but were also frequently paranoid (sometimes rightly) that their views weren't accepted by the rest of the group.
Ramblin' Man - This could theoretically be a girl, I guess, but in my group it was me, and I'm a dude. This isn't someone who necessarily is normally talkative, but in discussion times has an enormously difficult time being succinct, apparently lacking the ability to detect the point at which other people have got the point. Elaborate, expand, build up an analogy, develop side points, weave back around. This isn't someone who's a great speaker or who has tons of wisdom on any particular topic, just someone who can go on and on and on about a minor point. (This is still part of my personality, and I think it probably shows even here.)
Miss/Mister Misreader - This guy/girl is trying, but during discussion time invariably manages to interpret the passage in a way that's pretty transparently not what's intended, and everybody knows it when it happens. It's then up to the rest of the group to be as gentle as possible.
Prayer Bomber - This is the kid whose life is genuinely way harder than anybody else's, and has the courage to bring up some of the issues at prayer request time. It's obviously not their fault, but they make the average teen's prayer concerns look kind of petty. You don't want to be sitting to the immediate right of them during prayer request time.
Bubble Boy/Girl - By accident or design, this kid has managed to make it to their teens without being exposed to... well, anything, really. This may look like simply missing every pop culture reference ever, or manifest as general naivete about people that are different.
The kid who has apparently never met a non-believer - Sure, they've heard that there are people out there that aren't Christians, but they've never actually encountered one, persay. Usually this manifests as a series of really strange beliefs about what non-believers are like. Sometimes this includes the belief that any given nonbeliever is very likely to have a strong predilection towards loose living or that unbelievers can't possibly have any real moral sense. Additionally, they have extraordinarily bizarre mindsets that, in addition to predisposing them towards evil, also make them susceptible to witnessing techniques that otherwise would seem pretty shaky, like the bait-and-switch.
("Believing that non-believers have totally alien mindsets, motivations and ways of thinking" could probably be its own post.)
Kristen - growing up in the UK we had the same kind of worship leader types, but they usually affected an American accent. Bizarre.
ReplyDeleteAlso there's the girl with the neverending emotional issue(s), if you're wondering who's crying at youth service/camp/mission, it's her.
And the serial-re-dedicator. Expect to see this guy up at the front after every single altar-call.
I haven't read all of the comments, so forgive me if this has already been said. But you can't leave out the kid with the horrendous body oder. The one who showers once every couple weeks and thinks he doesn't need deodorant even though we all know he really does.
ReplyDeletethis post is hysterical. I'm only 19 so my youth group memories are still nice and fresh, and you nailed it. I think the only entity missing is the youth praise team. they're cool, they're musical, but they don't know what to do when confronted with the term "syncopation" and they're pretty sure that practice is optional. Oh, and they never think to bring extra guitar strings to missions trips abroad. oops! all sarcasm aside, I loved my youth praise team. Even when I had to yell at them.
ReplyDeleteI always liked the AXE Body Spray Kid- He never smelled bad, if you don't think that AXE body spray smells bad.
ReplyDeleteThe College Bound Kid- This is the kid (usually a girl) that would not stop talking about what schools she was applying for, what schools her older siblings went to, what schools we should all pray that she would get into, etc. She also talked about the sorority that she would join, wear the Kappa Kappa Gamma shirts to youth night, and practice sorority life on the weekends, usually in the woods, around a camp fire, with "Sweet Home Alabama" as the soundtrack and Miller High Life as the beverage of choice.
The "Give God the Glory" Athlete- This is the kid that has fallen madly in love with himself. He gets praise from every one he runs into because he is such a good athlete. He is always telling people what his fastest time is, or the number of touchdowns he scored last Friday night. Whenever someone starts talking about how God gives us our talents, he takes a stab at humility saying something about God giving him strength or speed, but it comes off as just another way to talk about how awesome he thinks he is.
The Flake- This was me. I was about as shallow as a Texas creek in mid-July. This guy does anything he can to be viewed as the model for coolness. In my case, I went to the tanning bed, got highlights(!), bought $85 packpacks from the outdoorsman shop each year, and dated the Prom Queen. Given this level of awesomeness, you can imagine I was a powerhouse Christian as well. I judged everyone by my standard of holiness and cleaned house at youth gatherings, weeding out the people that I thought were hypocrites. This made me even cooler looking. My wife said to me yesterday, "I don't know how I ended up marrying you. When I first met you, you were such a D bag."
I personally would like to speak up for all the other girls who hate that pretty girl guy magnet. And she doesn't know she's pretty? Yeah, right. She's the same girl who knows the perfect time to produce tears during a mission trip or camp devos so the guys can comfort her. In the Christian world the guy who comforts the pretty crying girl is just rounding first base.
ReplyDeleteOf course there's always the guy who can be counted on to publically confess his lust for girls in the group. Every youth group has one of these guys. When I was in high school there was a guy in the group who made it known he could never be accused of lust because he always imagined he was married to the girl before...well, you know.
So much Homeschool love! *laughs*
ReplyDeleteI defiantly second the "super competitive chunky kid" and "the kid who would eat whatever" entries.
I'll add the "overly spiritually at camp than totally heathen back home" kid.
They seem so genuine when we're all singing Chris Tomlin...
Great post.
Defiantly made me miss my days in Youth. For about 3 seconds. ^_^
great stuff jon! i've been working with youths for many years, so it hits home. haha.
ReplyDeletethere's also always a clown in the group who is funny and is willing to do the stupid things to make people laugh.
there's also the ridiculously beautiful girl that DOES know it and knows all the guys are after her.
Oh, I forgot to talk about me. I was the kid that knew what legalistic hang ups my leaders had and then constantly threw it in their faces that I didn't agree and was violating their holy preferences. I was such a little dill weed.
ReplyDeleteThe alter call kids that like to extend youth group for another hour or so. Meanwhile the rest of us sitting in the chairs still try to figure out when is an appropriate time for the Spirit to stop moving and leave quietly.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the youth group princess, who always gets her way and has the lead in every skit or song and gets to lead worship for real church services when she's 14 just because her dad is the youth pastor. There's not any lingering resentment there...
ReplyDeleteWhat about the youth group intern that flirts with the girls all summer and gets college credit for it?
ReplyDeleteThen the day after his internship ends..., well....I think I kissed one of these once upon a time....
What about the youth group intern that flirts with the girls all summer and gets college credit for it?
ReplyDeleteThen the day after his internship ends..., well....I think I kissed one of these once upon a time....
>The super athletic kid who imposed his will in any and every sport.
ReplyDelete>The kid who thinks he is funny but actually isn't. No one's brave enough to tell him that he's not funny, so he keeps trying.
The kid that answers rhetorical questions out loud.
ReplyDeleteNothing like some reflective questions that the kid takes as an opportunity to answer out loud in the middle of your message.
when i was in youth group, there was always "the girl that wished she was in the praise band". by that i mean she would sing louder than the band...without a microphone...just to prove she should be up there.
ReplyDeleteThe movie buff - the kid who spends every single van/bus trip quoting every line from every movie ever made. This kid may or may not also be the song buff.
ReplyDeleteSong buff - much like the movie buff, he/she apparently knows every worship song, every TV show theme song, every Disney song, and pretty much every song ever written, and insists on singing every one of them on every single trip.
The square peg in a round hole - the kid who, for whatever reason, never quite fit in.
The daredevil - will eat, smell, touch, or do anything and everything that will make him or her the center of attention. May also be the mascot.
Me: I was a combination of #6 and the square peg (there's probably a correlation there)
Ha, that's brilliant, but I also loved checking out the guy with a guitar post, which I hadn't seen before. THANK YOU for speaking for many, many of us. Obviously I'm not a guy ... but I am a pianist :) and I have a good ear for tuning - which makes most of those people detestable to me!
ReplyDeleteThe stealth - the kid no who ever thought would/could do anything crazy or daring, until that one time...(this kid also makes the perfect prankster, since no one will ever suspect it). Yeah, that was also me :)
ReplyDeleteRegular Joes: I was related to the "athletic brothers". No they weren't twin. Yes, that did split them up.
ReplyDeleteNic: I'm still laughing over the "project kid" one. It's so true, it's ridiculous.
Jon: Your "Jeep/Shorts/Guitar Guy" story basically made my day.
How about the "Shoulder Massage Kid"?
ReplyDeleteDid I just hang out in a weird youth group, or did everyone else have that one guy that liked to give all the girls a shoulder massage/ back rub?
You have to throw in the youth-group-couple-that-breaks-up-and-gets-back-together-several-times.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the group of middle school girls who were in love with (and could feel the Holy Spirit calling them to marry...) the high school boys? I wasted many a bulletin writing "Mrs. Megan [insert Boy-of-the-Week's last name here]"...
ReplyDeleteIn response to number 4, my pastor's daughter once introduced me to her friend at camp once by saying, "This is Kristin. She's not a PK...But she's still cool."
ReplyDeleteThe Jesus freak, aka the dude that will probably scream Jesus at a concert. you know the type.
ReplyDeleteThe obnoxious kid who didn't want to be there but had to be there because his/her mum was a youth group leader.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll put in a second vote for the gigglers. Snowberrylife's description gave me an instant flashback.
Aw man, these comments were so great. I can see a little bit of myself in some of these descriptions.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in youth group, I was the girl who desprately wanted to be apart of the "cool kids" group, but I wasn't (My youth group was divided into two factions: the cool kids, and everyone else). I had a lot of emotional issues due to my parents divorce and problems at home, but I put on a good face most of the time. I was a faithful member of the worship team (bonus: I can actually sing! And play a little piano) I went on every trip/retreat/camp, and usually ended up bawling my eyes out at the altar at least once during these events (like I said, I had a lot of emotional issues). Since I wasn't in the cool kids group, I developed a close relationship with my youth pastor and his wife (they really stepped in and supported me when my parents split). I was well liked by everyone in the group, even the cool kids who didn't seem to want to associate with me very much.
Yeah, I think I was the sweet girl who everyone liked. And who could sing, and had a crush on one the guys on the worship team, lol.
Controversial kid - has slightly different views than everyone else and perpetually attempts to insert/assert these views at inopportune times. Challenges pastor's statements in a vague kind of way. Loves politics. Usually nasally-voiced, gangly.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Drama-Queen? Her stories are just truthy enough to obligate everyone to taker her seriously, but so full of crazy drama that you aren't sure is she's just trying to make you cry.
ReplyDeleteJon...
ReplyDeleteHilarious man. As a youth pastor I can definitely say you nailed it. I think #12 would be "The B.O. kid that is always giving everybody hugs."
There's one more... s/he's almost like the ordained one. But... they are also the hippy. They're the ones that wear the strange clothes, ask if the paper's recycled and is often vegetarian. They say things like 'hip'. You swing between love this cool cat and hating him for making you feel like a worldly consumer.
ReplyDeletewe had a guy who insisted on bringing cans of smelly sardines on every.single.trip and would fill the church van with their noxious smell. *hoarf*
ReplyDeleteFlorida here-apparently more than just you got the email about needing a thriving youth group here because as the mother of 2 teens I am here to tell you theres slim pickins in youth groups here. Oh yeah-there ARE youth groups, just not any that seem to REALLY want to minister to kids. Oh it is sad-breaks my heart sometimes. But your descriptions are right on!
ReplyDeleteThe youth group I went to in middle school only had two categories--
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful, popular girls and the handsome, popular guys who all flirted with/dated each other, and
Me, the geeky kid everyone ignored, except for the youth leaders, who occasionally referred to me as the Silent One.
Yes, I'm still bitter.
The youth group I went to in high school was a bit more dynamic. There was:
The kid with all the piercings, who lived in his parent's garage.
The giggly middle school girls, who wore designer clothes and perfectly applied makeup.
The lovesick high school freshman girls, who wore hand-me-downs and weren't allowed to wear makeup yet.
The Comedian Brothers, the older of which dated all the girls.
The ADD brothers.
The cheerleader who only had time to come once a month due to all the extracurricular activities she was involved in, but when she did come she always brought 15,000 friends.
The group of kids who all had the same first name and would round up every single kid at school who had that particular first name and bring them all to youth group with them (they still make me laugh).
The Drummers.
The kid who got on everyone's nerves, and sang that song nonstop on road trips.
His friend who came with him who he claimed was his girlfriend, but who always claimed otherwise when he wasn't listening.
The Homeschool family who always wore matching, home-sewn clothes.
The kids who looked about five years younger than they actually were and everyone always wondered what they were doing at youth group.
And of course, the group of boys who could be counted on to find the dangerous/sharp/long/hard objects and chase each other around with them.
All of them were absolute sweethearts. :o) I love that group.
You forgot those two 12 year old girls who don't stop giggling for the entire 24 hour lock-in, though no one ever finds out why they're laughing.
ReplyDeleteJeep guy's friend or "buddy" in this case. He rides in the jeep, often hangs off the back, yells things like "Rock ON!" or "In yer FACE!" and definitely owns a water balloon launcher. Without, him, Jeep guy would have no one to "high-five" after inserting "That's what she said..." into whatever the youth pastor is saying.
ReplyDeletei.e.:
Pastor- "This is my body..."
Jeep Guy-"That's what she said." Buddy-"Rock ON!" (slap!)
I knew a #3 *sigh* Natalie never did pay much attention me...
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the Leader Kid. The one that takes charge of every situation, he hasn't been appointed the leader by anyone but himself. He can either do a good job at leading or be a pushy, bossy sod who likes to argue.
The fat kid that finds an excuse to get out of anything that involves running/ exercising / standing for too long.
The Sympathizer. The person that treats anyone with any kind of injury like a two year old with a boo boo.
The kid that feeds off the Sympathiser
The homeschoolers who won't engage in the heathen activities of dancing or singing anything but Hymns. My version wore shorty shorts, a shirt handed down 3 siblings, no shoes whenever possible and one of those hats with the flap on the bag to shade you neck. He was a good bloke though.
i knew no one with a jeep at church, but everything else was dead-on. and yes, let us not forget the five siblings who were homeschooled.
ReplyDeleteoh, and the girl who complains and cries too much about life. sure, you feel pity, and offer to pray for her....but after the 60th time, you realize she's probably just dramatic and/or wanting attention.
ReplyDeleteThe kid with the endless supply of prayer requests. Always has an aunt, sister, neighbor, cousin, friend, in the hospital, dying, out-of-work, pregnant, going on a mission trip... Enjoys playing "My Prayer Request is Much More Serious & Urgent Than Yours." You can tell he's running out of requests and feeling desperate when he offers up people from the local and national news as prayer requests. "I really think we need to pray for Matsuzaka. He just got taken out of the lineup and they think there might be something wrong with him physically and well, I don't think he's a Christian, so...."
ReplyDeleteIf this kid is in your small group prayer time after large group, pick a comfortable chair. You'll be there for awhile.
I agree with Stacy from Louisville (go Cardinals!) that the pretty girl KNOWS she's pretty. Oh, yeah.
ReplyDeleteI was the crying girl. Lexapro has made a world of difference.
A lot of comments on the guys who date all the girls...what about the girls who date all the guys, interpret "date" how you will...?
In our youth group in central Texas, there was also the "spit their chewing tobacco surreptitiously in a cup and then spill the cup all over the church bus" crowd. Just a little regional flair.
What about the unkempt fat kid who has an asthma problem, and laughs uncontrollably at every joke.
ReplyDeleteOne kid would crack a joke starting the laughing, that would bring on an attack...oh yeah, did I mention,he was the farting kid too! He'd be turning red, gasping for air then he'd fart! Of course, you can see the snowball rolling.
The kids called our kid, "Wonder Boy"!
The kid who dates everyone possible in the group
ReplyDeleteI was stereotype number 2, but I did get saved, at youth group! LOL Everyone was so happy, I was the obnoxious one that when told I was going to go to hell if I didnt get saved, said "I know and I don't care" Have been saved now for almost 20 years and am a homeschooling mom of almost 8 children. I definitely didn't turn out how people expected me too. Amazing what God can do!
ReplyDeleteWow, that hit the nail on the head. #3 in my group was Sarah Sundquist.
ReplyDeleteGoing to bible camp after her sophmore year changed here self-perseption for good (bad news for my brother.)
Totally had 6, 9 and 10 in our youth group growing up. Great post! These other commenters do have some great additional ideas though too.
ReplyDeletethank God i didnt become a christian til i was 19. cuz i wouldve been that kid you didnt mention who told everyone what they thought. the one with no filter. yah...the 11, wouldve hated me.
ReplyDeleteOr the kid who tries to kill everyone in sight with the dodgeball.
ReplyDeleteI'm a youth pastor now, and while I have a fairly small group, there some other stereotypes in it:
ReplyDelete1)PGK (Preacher's Grand-Kid): Favorite quote- "I'm gonna tell my pee-paw on you!" I just call the bluff with, "Good, then I can tell him some stuff about you, too." We get along great after that.
2)The little brother who can't wait to get into youth so he can torture his older sister at church AND at home and goes to events that he has absolutely no interest in so he can report back to mom all the little things his sister did. "Mom, during prayer requests tonight, (insert name here) said that she was struggling with obeying you." "Oh really, 2 months grounding, young lady." (True Story)
wow... my youth group always had an excess of acoustic guitar players... therefore i settled for being a goofball... now i'm going to bible college for worship arts, but half the people i went to youth group with don't remember that i ever played... been playing since 8th grade thanks. oh yeah, i'm still good friends with Jeep guy, but he now drives a tin can (Kia Sephia).
ReplyDeleteThe princess. She's a lot of fun on service trips. OK fine, bless your heart, I'll take out the trash because your daddy said his princess never had to. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThis one is fairly new due to the advent of reality TV in the last decade.
ReplyDeleteThe American-Idol Wannabes: These are usually girls who think their singing voices are awesome. They spend the music portion of the evening "worshipping" by trying to out-sing each other. They escalate their loudness to the point that the meaning of the music is lost in the midst of all their self-appointed awesomeness. They are never actually anywhere near as talented as they believe they are.
There's the kid who always has to pee at the most inoportune time. What do you mean we're in the middle of a Guatamalan forest with no outhouses for the next twenty miles! I gotta go! No, I will not violate that tree in such a horrible way. We have to turn around right now.
ReplyDeleteI read several of the comments, and didn't see THE KID WHO GETS SAVED AT EVERY RETREAT. our youth group had one, did yours? I watched a kid either re-commit or get saved every time we went to an event.
ReplyDeleteI was "the Soloist." don't hate.
The kid who is involved in way to much: (S)He literally shows up for two hours of a weekend retreat because that is all (s)he can manage, and of course those two hours are spent listening to the explanation of where else (s)he needs to be this weekend and why (s)he cannot stay. Absent more often than present one cannot help but forget that this person is actually a part of the youth group from time to time.
ReplyDeleteThe age outlier: The group is open to grades 6-12, but the reality is that it is dominated by one end or the other, and there is one unfortunate kid either gets lessons on transitioning to college and such while they are adjusting to middle school, or lessons on middle school survival when they haven't been in middle school for years. This is a challenge to even a skilled youth leader, and yet they cannot really split the group, as there are not enough people.
The middle school kids whose parents have enough clout that they are allowed to go to the high school youth group: Pretty much self explanatory. Usually their promotion to high school youth group is justified because they are just too mature, when in reality, they are your average middle schooler.
The summer kids:The kids that are staying with their grandparents for the summer. One of my best friends in youth group was one of these.
The babysat: Younger siblings that are only their because their older siblings are babysitting them.
Ha ha...Jon, I love this blog. You are so observant and spot-on. I had a relatively small YG, but we still had every one of these kids.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to add:
12. The Socially Awkward Youth Pastor's Kid
Oh man, I didn't envy this kid, and I still don't. It's hard enough surviving the teen years as the shy and introverted type, so it must a cruel, cruel fate to also know that most of your peers would rather hang out with your dad than you.
The SAYPK dedicates most of her adolescence to wriggling out from under her beloved pa's shadow. This is mostly attempted by vigorous "friend collecting," (latching onto anyone and everyone who even glimpes her way), and pitiable attempts at trying to be the Youth Group's clown. The SAYPK is especially vulnerable to obsession-prone niche groups (i.e. Trekkies, Anime Kids, Twilight Kids, LOTR Kids, etc.), since these groups provide her an with easy way to define herself as something other than "the daughter of our beloved youth pastor."
Unfortunately, the only way the SAYPK can break from this role is to become a #2 or an uptight #6.
One more:
ReplyDelete13. The Always-Obsessed-With-Something Kids
Star Wars. Matrix. Lord of the Rings. World of Warcraft. Anime. Twilight. The pop culture may fluctuate, but one thing remains constant...there is always going to be a particular cluster of YG kids who live and breathe for whatever nerd phenomenon is sweeping the nation. The object of these kids' obsessions may change over the years, but that matters very little; they just enjoy being obsessed. (Trust me...I was once one of these kids; my thing was music. Eighties music. In 2003.)
For those who can humor them, these kids are rather entertaining. Talk to them for long enough (say, 4 minutes) and they will inevitably steer the conversation to Lord of the Rings (or Naruto, or Harry Potter, etc.) Any small group or Bible study discussion with them will always yield at least one comparison between Edward¹s struggle to resist Bella¹s blood and their own
struggle against sexual temptation. Whenever the youth pastor teaches a message on idolatry, everyone in the room knows that he's mostly written the
sermon for these kids.
But the true mark of an AOWSK is his or her hair...cut, dyed, and styled to resemble their favorite character. One particular girl I know started out with "Trinity" (from the Matrix) hair in her early teens, which morphed to
"Storm" (from the X-Men) hair in her late teens, until she finally settled on her current 'do...Alice (from Twilight).
jadekb-
ReplyDeleteI was totally the crying girl. My poor youth leaders.
Thank God my hormones finally leveled out.
A lot of these stereotypes are kinda sad, because Christians are so willing to judge personality, intelligence, and even faith off of appearance. As a pastor's kid myself, I know that my parents got a ton of angry phone calls about my brother's earrings and my tattoos. And because of inaccurate assumptions and hateful comments both to my face and behind my back, I sort of just gave up. I started doing all of the things people already assumed I was doing. I got into partying and drinking and hooking up with a new guy every week or so. And despite my sinful actions, I'd never been so stress-free, because my non-christian friends didn't limit me to a stereotype and then dismiss me as a lost cause. I still don't go to church. I spent a lot of time and passion and energy to church, and made myself vulnerable, and they essentially told me that I didn't matter. I mean, I've even been told that I have the mark of the beast and that I'm going to hell. And I'm only 18. Church is supposed to be a safe haven, a learning environment, some kind of solace from the harsh routine of life. I stopped going because I feel like I can love better without it. I'm less cynical and I don't come home every sunday/wednesday in frustrated tears.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, all that to say that stereotypes such as these can be accurate sometimes, but mostly they're just hurtful because no one takes the time to learn the ins and outs of the individual.
Youth Groups tend to have an interesting dynamic of closed-mindedness and judgment.
Wow, you all have some serious issues with homeschoolers, don't you? For the record, all the homeschooled kids I know (which are quite a few - it's pretty popular here) are way more well-adjusted and socially adept than the public school kids, who can't seem to break free of their rigid labeling systems.
ReplyDeleteanonymous, I can't speak for anyone else, but I mentioned homeschoolers because I WAS a homeschooler (and a not-so-well adjusted one for the record, so I feel I can make fun of myself). There are well-adjusted homeschoolers and socially awkward ones, just like everyone everywhere else....(interesting how you completely stereotyped "public schoolers" in the process of your comment).
ReplyDeleteHonestly, can't we learn to laugh at ourselves through some vague stereotypes? I don't think anyone is meaning to judge anyone. :)
I was the youth group kid that was at every youth group event and basically the youth pastors assistant. If there was an outreach, I was there. A concert, I was 2 hours early. My t-shirt collection is full of either Event T-shirts or all those small Christian bands that only played 3 shows and they were mostly at your youth group.
ReplyDeleteOne youth group kid I remember is the girl (or guy) that had to always date a member of the opposite sex and had maybe a week break in between break ups. They would show up to youth group every other week because they were at their significant others youth group or house. You knew they had broken up because you started seeing them back at youth group every week. Somehow she ended up going to the same college as I did 2 years later. She hasn't changed much.
How about:
ReplyDeleteThe bull in a china shop kid who broke a chair every time you played musical chairs.
The kid who on retreats showered 4 times a day to keep his hair looking good.
The expounder, he would always expound on the meaning of the verse.
The boy who always forgot to do up his zipper. "wo is me, for I am undone!"
The kid who could quote every scene from the Chevy Chase's "Fletch" movies.
the mini-missionary. you know who he is.
ReplyDelete