I went ahead and figured out how powerful God is.
Considering that this is probably a question philosophers and theologians have struggled with for thousands of years, that’s pretty nice of me. Who knew one day a random blogger would figure it out and share it for free. What can I say? I’m a giver.
So here it is:
God is slightly less powerful than Mutton Hollow Chevy.
That's it. That's the answer. If you have some other things you need to go do or other blogs you want to read you can probably skip out right now, having been exposed to that little gem of knowledge. But if you've never heard of Mutton Hollow Chevy, who is slightly more powerful than God, allow me to explain.
When I started stuffchristianslike.net, I had to go with a .net address because someone already had .com. A small church themed online gift shop had that web address. They sold puzzles of Jesus and what not. I felt like .net was not nearly as cool as .com but oh well, that was what I had available.
Apparently they went out of business or sold their domain to someone else though because now, if you type the .com version of this site, you will be taken to Mutton Hollow Chevy, a small car dealer that specializes in 1955-1957 Chevy parts. I'm not sure why they registered a Stuff Christians Like URL. I guess the hope is that if you searched for wry Christian satire but instead found a Chevy dealer you might stay at their site and buy a 1957 Billet Hood Latch Support Bracket instead. (You know the one I'm talking about, it’s all Billet Hood Latches these days boys.)
I'd like to say that when I found out that, once again, someone from Mutton Hollow had scooped me, my first thought was "aw shucks!" But that would be a lie.
My first thought was more like this:
"I am so dumb! How could I let that happen? I am screwed. If I was smarter and more web savvy that wouldn't have happened. That kind of nonsense would never happen to a real blogger. When my book comes out, people who don't know this is a .net are going to accidentally type .com and never find me and I'll never sell any books and never get a second book deal and will waste this opportunity that God has given me. It's all over. It is all so freakin’ over."
I know that probably sounds dumb, but it's true. I felt sick to my stomach and kind of panicky and really ashamed of myself. And I've felt that way before about other things, but do you know what I don't ever do? I don't ever take thoughts like that to their natural conclusion. I don't ever spend time reflecting on what that thought says about me and what it says about God.
This time I did.
And do you know what I found? If that thought is true. If Mutton Hollow Chevy has somehow sunk the Stuff Christians Like ship by reserving the .com version of this web address, if they've effectively limited the size of this ministry, if they've dashed the opportunity to reach people for the Lord, than Mutton Hollow Chevy is slightly more powerful than God.
Don't get me wrong, He's big and mighty and "Almost All Powerful." He set Stuff Christians Like in motion, but in a late game changing move, Mutton Hollow Chevy showed up and limited even Him. He had plans that were pretty amazing, but unfortunately they involved me getting the .com address and since I don’t have that, God is limited too. The dreams He had just got a pair of Mutton Hollow-sized handcuffs put on them.
That's ridiculous and I hope right now you are laughing both at the shallowness of my faith and my dedication to repeating the phrase "Mutton Hollow" which is delightful to say I don't care who you are. But I promise you've done the same thing before in your own life.
At some point, you've had a fear you thought was more powerful than God.
You lost your job and worried that unemployment was more powerful than God.
You lost a boyfriend and worried that being alone was more powerful than God.
You got in credit debt and worried that Visa was more powerful than God.
Your dream did not turn out the right way and you thought the circumstances were more powerful than God.
It's so easy to do this, but today, as new worries crop up, I'm trying to do things I little differently. With each new fear, I'm trying to stop long enough and ask myself a simple question:
"Is this more powerful than God?"
Is Mutton Hollow Chevy more powerful than God?
Is a possible layoff at work more powerful than God?
Is __________ more powerful than God?
So far, every answer has come back with a resounding no. I still worry. I'll still walk through the hollow of the shadow of death from time to time, but with that question and a God that loves to answer it, I think I'm going to be alright.
And Mutton Hollow, please know that when you’re ready to give me that .com I, much like the band Journey, will be waiting right here for you with open arms.
How would you write this question today about your own life?
Finish this sentence:
Is _________ more powerful than God?
First.
ReplyDeleteIs Chuck Norris more powerful than God?
Almost.
But, no.
Dude, you're right.
Well how about what the media says is more powerful than what God says then? I know this is a lie but a lot of people believe it. The truth is even the littlest word "a" is more powerful if God says it then anything the media has to say. I have a question for you now. Which do you find funnier? The things you write about or the comments some folks make to the things you write about.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least it's a charming lil car dealership that's got a hold of the domain name. I mistyped your web address in my browser a few weeks ago, and ended up somewhere that, um, is dedicated to getting your motor racing in an entirely different way.
ReplyDeleteVery good...and I would have to say that a lot of times we get ourselves into those problems because we don't think that God is powerful enough to provide for our needs (thats needs, not wants; see Jon's example of credit debt and Visa above).
ReplyDeleteWV:suram Def:an affirmative response, i.e., "I suram happy Jon figured out that God's more powerful than Mutton Hollow!"
You've nailed the problem we all have from time to time.
ReplyDeleteWe think more of ourselves than we do of God. We put our desires, our goals, dreams, careers, and lives pretty much over Him. The world revolves around us and God somehow needs to fit into it. When things don't go our way, we can't figure it out... "Certainly God wants me to be doing this or that, certainly He is impressed with this little thing I'm doing". "Why then is it not working out or going the way I planned it?"
Are we serious??
I mean really, do we honestly think God loses any sleep (assuming He sleeps which He doesn't) over whether or not we have the coolest, catchiest name for our website? How utterly pathetic of us to even consider that what we're doing is so absolutely critical to God's plan that if everything doesn't go exactly as WE planned, His will is thwarted and He won't be glorified.
We do this all the time and we talk about it all the time....
"God wants me to do this or that."
No. God wants you to obey Him. Honor Him. Glorify Him. Share His Gospel with the World. Love Him and Love others. Everything else is just details. When we get so wrapped up in our little endeavors in life that we think God needs us... then it's time for us to step back and remember who's trip we're on (yeah, I know... a catchy line from the "Newsboys").
~ktf~
John
http://blogoftheway.blogspot.com/
Is money more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteSurely not?? But then it happens: foreclosure looms, bills are not paid, a job hangs in the balance...and when we need rely on God the most...we actually question if this problem is too big.
I vote that when you refer to your web address on your book, or on any press stuff, you make the .Net in a larger font, so that people will be sure not to miss it.
ReplyDeleteAre broken friendships more powerful than God?
No. Fact is, he's promised me restoration. I should get on believing that promise, eh?
Well, you used their name enough in this post that in the course of one hour you are on the first page of Google when you search for "Mutton Hollow Chevy".
ReplyDeleteTouche!
You know what I think? I think this is one of your best posts.
ReplyDeleteI was cracking up (silently---I'm at work) but at the same time was being reminded of something that I think God has been really pushing me to learn lately. I have a lot of things (spiritual, physical, occupational, social) weighing on my mind, but guess what! None of which are more powerful than God!! Hallelujah!
Thanks for this.
Mutton Hollow Chevy....sounds like a country singer to me!!
ReplyDeleteIs my funky semi-depressive state for no real good reason more powerful than God? Nope. Not even close.
how true jon. we let a lot of things become more powerful than our God. I wonder do we live in those to give us excuses, or someone to blame...making our efforts seem that of a martyr....if only....
ReplyDeleteDang it! I think about this stuff all the time. I try to write it down, and it comes out sounding stiff and cliche'd and stupid. You write it down, and it's as eloquent and moving as anything I read anywhere.
ReplyDeleteYou should start a class: "How I write so good."
Well done.
I needed that today. I'll need it again tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI bet Mutton Hollow Chevys is going to be might surprised at their net traffic today! (I know I zipped right over to check out the More Powerful Than God people!)
ReplyDeleteOk, muttonhollowchevys.com comes up for renewal on Dec 21 of this year. I say you give them the old scroogie and swipe it from them. Then send them an e-mail that says "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." Then light your cigar, kiss your worship eagle bling, and roll around in your ben franks.
ReplyDeleteIt's important to also consider the Christian music that touches on this.
ReplyDelete"God is bigger than the boogeyman. He's bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on TV."
or my personal favorite from Knowdaverbs -
"God is big (huge) he moves through any space. God is so large he could swallow the outer space."
Is my house more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteOf course not. But not 15 minutes ago as yet another opportunity to get out of here slipped away, it certainly seemed close. I know God is all that I need. But with 3 boys under the age of 6, it sure feels like I need more than 900 square feet.
Excellent post, Jon. And true.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I have friends who are facing a visit to the doctor tomorrow with their two-month old daughter, over a health related issue that might affect the rest of her life. God is bigger than CP, I know, but it's so hard to know what to say. All I can do is pray that whatever happens, it's for God's glory and their good.
Actually, on top of thinking that some things are too big for God, we also tend to think that some things are too small, too petty, too unimportant to bother God with. They may be big enough to worry us, make us lose sleep, but we feel like it's not important enough to "bother" God with. Strange, huh?
I've often had the thought that, when I mess things up, God is up there thinking "I can't BELIEVE it!! That Mark guy has set my plans back another 1,000 years! I've got to do something about him..."
ReplyDeleteVery good stuff. I am really impresses, however, at the way you added the extra "f" to stuff in your blogspot address to make sure no one steals that address too. You are more clever than you let on my friend. My hat is off to you.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, we do too often allow trivialities to become more powerful than they really are. Faith or fear? Those are our choices and so many times we choose fear.
Great post. Just what I needed to hear today.
ReplyDeleteGreat timing with this post. I needed that reminder. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIs my adopted daughter's junkie mother bigger than God. I know the answer is no, but she seems to be bigger than the courts and legal authorities in Washington... so sometimes I wonder.
ReplyDeleteWhat Huck said. And take a video, cause I'm gonna wanna see that.
ReplyDeleteFor a while it was:
Is cancer more powerful than God?
And when, in desperation, I asked God for that answer, He showed me that, NO, it's not. Actually, He showed me NOTHING is. Wow...
Right now it is:
Is frustration and doubt more powerful than God? I know it's not, but I have to remind myself of that so much right now and the constant reminding adds to the cycle of frustration and doubt. But I'm clinging and refuse to let go.
Thank you for the reminder, because I needed it today.
And Nic, I'm praying for you, your daughter, her mother and for God to give you peace until He moves in your situation...
ReplyDeleteI can just see God sitting up there, wringing His hands & saying, “They figured out electricity. They figured out the atom. Once they figure out how to clone, that will be the end of Me.”
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Jon. All hope is not lost. There used to be a theme park in Branson, Missouri, named Mutton Hollow. It was ran poorly, and they eventually closed their doors. Maybe this will be the fate in your case.
ReplyDeleteOr, just like with the theme park, a much larger theme park name came along, bought the property and turned it into something spectacular. But, alas, that theme park is also gone.
Is FEAR ABOUT THE FUTURE more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteNope! Thanks for the encouragement!
Like so many others, I too needed this reminder today! Is 'giving up my stable job/benefits/housing in this economy, with no clear direction as to my next source of income' more powerful than God? No! Gratefully, no. God is drawing me into a season of trust, transition and rebuilding. The details will fall in place when they need to. Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteIs my sin more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteIs my worry more powerful than God?
Are my life circumstances more powerful than God?
Day-after-day, I live like that's a resounding "yes." Thanks for the reminder that God is more sovereign and almighty over any other force I can conjure up. And believe me, I try. =)
Hucklebuck, you made me pee in my pants a little bit w/
ReplyDelete"I say you give them the old scroogie and swipe it from them. Then send them an e-mail that says "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." Then light your cigar, kiss your worship eagle bling, and roll around in your ben franks."
Is the wait to find out what Obama does to our jobs at the space center bigger than God??? Hah! Not even.
I love Serious Wednesdays. Thank you for this post.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I definitely need to be reminded regularly that nothing is more powerful than God. I enjoy reading your daily bits of wisdom and hilarity.
ReplyDeleteThe Journey reference is obviously cool, but you missed a golden opportunity for a 4th Richard Marx reference.....
ReplyDeleteIs starting a new relationship not knowing where it will lead more powerful than God? No! That was my worry today, thanks for posting the answer.
ReplyDeletewv: rediall
re-dialing with extra (read: pounding the buttons) emphasis
Since you mentioned Mutton Hollow Chevy so many times in this post, it probably will start showing up when someone googles "Mutton Hollow Chevy". THEN they will come HERE by mistake and you can evangelize them and turn them to the path of God. Seems like a win to me. :-)
ReplyDelete**** Actually, I just googled Mutton Hollow Chevy and came up with this post and your main blog. If everyone does this and clicks over to your site from that search, it will move up a few more places and possibly could supersede the original! (That's just how google rolls)
Is the internel problems at church more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteNo. Thanks for the post. Great timing. My church has some serious internal problems going on and there just might be a split, or a massive fallout. All of the board members have already resigned. Many people are worried, angry, fearful, frustrated, but ultimately, the church, and it's problems will not thwart God's purpose for His kingdom. I'm going to forward this to a few people.
WV: Whyda
Slang for question "why did you..."
"Whyda have to go and think that God's not in control of this mess?"
You have an amazing an amazing gift Jon...how on earth do you know exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for allowing God to use you. God bless you.
Kim
@Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteUm...thanks?? :)
By the way, which space center do you work at? I'm at JSC.
Are my feelings of inadequacy bigger than God?
ReplyDeleteIs my rocky relationship with certain in-laws bigger than God.
Big, fat, NOPE.
Wow, I could fill that blank with so many things right now...
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this.
@elizabeth: PLEASE tell me that you typed in Stuff Christians Lick because that is just going to crack me up.
ReplyDeleteSuppose you got the domain first. Then Mutton Hollow Chevy tried to get it but it was too late for them. So they say, "Prodigal Jon must be more powerful than God."
ReplyDeleteImplicit in your post is the idea that you serve God more than Mutton Hollow Chevy.
Or change the scenario. A Catholic group tried to get the site. Or a Jehovah Witness group. Or a Mormon. Or a Jewish or Moslem group.
Isn't it a common human characteristic among religious people who try to spread the word that they believe they have the truth and are serving God more than others who have a different message?
Perhaps that says more about ourselves than about God's power.
You never know how God may be orchestrating circumstances. Maybe someone looking for "Stuff Christians Like" finds a good deal at Mutton Hollow Chevy, and that may be important at the moment for God's purposes. Or maybe he finds a job at the dealership.
We tend to focus a lot on our own perspective, but God knows all things and He sees the big picture as well as the details of the effect of every decision on every person on this planet.
That is why we need to trust His judgement more than our own.
Is a broken relationship more powerful than God? No.
ReplyDeleteIs my tendency to be easily annoyed more powerful than God? No
Is temptation more powerful than God?
No.
Is my college tuition more powerful than God? No.
Thank you. I very much needed this today. As I type this response, an A/C repair man is in my attic doing $300 worth of the surprise $1100 in repairs I've just been quoted. And I was just thinking...this situation is insurmountable. Thanks for reminding me that God is bigger than this financial curve ball I've just been thrown.
ReplyDeleteIs my anxiety that my baby may not be 'normal' bigger than God?
ReplyDeleteIs my total lack of confidence in my ability to do this job that I feel totally called to bigger than God?
ReplyDeleteAlso...
"through the hollow of the shadow of death..."
Hee.
You lost your job and worried that unemployment was more powerful than God.
ReplyDeleteNailed it as I sit here with tears in my eyes.
Every time you mentioned Mutton Hollow i would automatically think of some woodsie meat...
ReplyDeleteIs my neruologist more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteAre my medical bills more powerful than God?
Is my multiple sclerosis more powerful than God?
No. God is in control. He is more powerful than any circumstance or situation. He has a plan and a purpose for everything in my life. A plan that is for his glory.
Anon @ 10:40 --
ReplyDeleteBTDT with church splits.....twice....
guess what?
God won, both times!
(still did hurt like the dickens)...
Thanks so much for this post.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, you can get the contact info of the guy who owns stuffchristianslike.com: http://www.networksolutions.com/whois-search/stuffchristianslike.com
Aug 3, 2010 is the expiration, so keep you hand on the mouse.
My word would be porn.
ReplyDeleteAnd at the moment the answer is yes.
Anon!
Surely, you and your publisher are just calling them to ask how much they want for it? It expires in a year anyhow. Go to GoDaddy.com and backorder it for $20 too. It's all in the whois directory - if it's current. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteRegistrar: DomainPeople Inc.
Domain Name: stuffchristianslike.com
Created on .............2007-08-03-15.29.48.000000
Expires on .............2010-08-03-17.29.48.000000
Record last updated on .2008-07-31-11.43.41.140000
Status .................ACTIVE
Administrative Contact:
TNG Enterprises, Inc.
Rick Yoss
PO Box 123
Marlboro, NJ
07746, US
+1.7326790200
+1.7326792227
ryoss@tngenterprises.com
Is an eating disorder more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteJust as I sat to read this, I was planning to... well... make some bad decisions directly after completing the reading of this post. Because today I have been struggling, and just now as I debated making said decisions, I came to the conclusion (as you did with Mutton Hollow, which is delightful to say I might add) that my eating disorder was more powerful than God. Thank you, and I do mean thank you, for helping me not to turn my life completely around in an instant, but to make one right decision... by reminding me that it is not, and food is not, and my sin is not, in fact, more powerful than God.
Is unbelief more powerful than God?
ReplyDeleteIs Satan more powerful than God?
These are questions I seriously ask.
Is indecision more powerful than God? Is security? What about obligations to one's family?
ReplyDeleteMark tells us in his gospel that, upon being called by the Lord, the disciples "immediately" left their nets and followed him. But what about when it isn't so easy?
Wow, that was exactly what I needed to read, uncanny how that happends, I know just what to put in that sentance for is _____ more powerful than God. It's a resounding no!
ReplyDelete@Anon at 3.45: My word would be porn.
ReplyDeleteAnd at the moment the answer is yes.
Porn isn't my word, but I think I know what you mean.
My word is fear.
Perfect love is supposed to drive it out, but it doesn't feel that way right now. Right now it feels pretty darn powerful.
http://www.stufffchristianslike.com/
ReplyDeleteIs open, you can grab it.
I just found out that I'm pregnant. I'm afraid that my husband and I can't handle this, can't afford this, aren't grown up enough for this (we're 25), etc. I'm forgetting the man who made it all possible. I need to step back and remember that He gave us this because He trusts us and will ensure that we are taken care of because we trust and believe in Him.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Just what I needed. (Meanwhile, Muttonchops Chevy or whoever they are, are all excited because their web stats just spiked huge and they think they've finally cracked this internet thang...)
ReplyDeleteI was going to put my silly little thing in, but after reading some responses, I am appropriately humbled. I think I have to tattoo this on my forehead so I am reminded of it frequently.
Is my fear of failing and letting my whole church down more powerful that God?
ReplyDeleteThank you...
ReplyDeleteDon't know if anyone elsw has said this:
ReplyDeleteIs 'Social Rejectment'
is 'My Fear'
What about 'my own plans'
Pray about this.
Because if there's anything that we've convinced ourslelfs is more 'powerful' than Him, its 'our own plans.
Example: Gee,I'de love for God to work through me, Its just that I have other plans. I'de rather not be a social reject. I'm just to afraid.
In this way we assume our own oppinion is more powerful, And It's breaking his heart.
What about Goku? I'm actually not too sure myself. He pretty much has unlimited potential and just keeps on getting more powerful each day.
ReplyDeletePeople have even said that he's more powerful than Superman. Personally, I think this would be a close battle, albeit highly entertaining. At the same time, all Goku has to do is bring some kryptonite with him... so who knows?
And just so people know how powerful Goku is, he beat villains that could destroy planets in the blink of an eye, even though he always nearly dies in the process.
ReplyDeleteHe in fact, has died on two occasions but has been revived.
I know I'm extremely late, but I absolutely love this blog entry...really caught me off guard!
ReplyDeleteI've got one. Chariots of iron are more powerful than God.
ReplyDeleteJudges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but He could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain because they had chariots of iron.
Darn those chariots!