(Curtis went old school on this guest post, but he recently returned from a trip to Ireland so I think he's trying to seek out his roots. Big fan of Curtis, laughed out loud when I saw the two pictures he sent with this post. Hope you enjoy.)Davey and Goliath
If you were a Christian claymation fan anytime in the ‘60s, then you probably know all about Davey and Goliath. D&G were the Christian response to the godless Gumby and Pokey cartoons. Never heard of them? Well, I’ll do a quick recap: Goliath is Davey’s dog who can talk, although only Davey can hear him. Davey plays in a handbell choir at his church, broke a dinosaur skeleton at the museum one time, and always learns lessons about doing the right thing. Goliath is a dog who can roller skate and is so big that he makes medium-sized horses look like miniature pony babies.
‘Tis the season for star-studded movies, so I’m currently writing a summer blockbuster movie script, bringing back Davey and Goliath in a big screen bonanza called "Davey and Goliath: The Live Action 3D Feel Good Supermovie!" And, yes, the exclamation point is part of the title.
Here’s the cast: Shia LaBeouf as Davey, Scooby Doo as Goliath, Dakota Fanning as Sally, Davey’s tag along little sister, Kate Winslet as his idyllic mother, and (drumroll please)…
…Andy Stanley as Davey’s dad! I couldn’t believe it when I put them side by side:
Here’s a sample scene from the movie, as Davey is having trouble adjusting to public school and the twenty-first century:
Davey: "Gee, I don’t know. Dad and mom told me that cell phones will make your ears fall off."
Public School Kid: "Come on, Davey, all the kids here have one! Don’t you want to be like one of us?"
School Kids: "One of us! One of us! One of us!"
Davey: (picks up the phone as his thumbs start moving) "I… I have the strangest feeling coming over me. I must text. OMG! "(Davey’s thumbs turn into a blur as he starts texting all of his new secular friends)
Goliath: "Davey, no! But I thought I was your best friend! And I don’t even have thumbs. We were supposed to go frolfing after school!"
Davey: "I go to public school now, Goliath. Stop being such a spaz!"
Goliath: "OH DAVEY!" (Goliath runs away into the woods)
…You get the idea.
I need an ending. Can you write it for me? I’ll give the person with the best ending a cut of the ticket sales.
‘Tis the season for star-studded movies, so I’m currently writing a summer blockbuster movie script, bringing back Davey and Goliath in a big screen bonanza called "Davey and Goliath: The Live Action 3D Feel Good Supermovie!" And, yes, the exclamation point is part of the title.
Here’s the cast: Shia LaBeouf as Davey, Scooby Doo as Goliath, Dakota Fanning as Sally, Davey’s tag along little sister, Kate Winslet as his idyllic mother, and (drumroll please)…
…Andy Stanley as Davey’s dad! I couldn’t believe it when I put them side by side:
Here’s a sample scene from the movie, as Davey is having trouble adjusting to public school and the twenty-first century:
Davey: "Gee, I don’t know. Dad and mom told me that cell phones will make your ears fall off."
Public School Kid: "Come on, Davey, all the kids here have one! Don’t you want to be like one of us?"
School Kids: "One of us! One of us! One of us!"
Davey: (picks up the phone as his thumbs start moving) "I… I have the strangest feeling coming over me. I must text. OMG! "(Davey’s thumbs turn into a blur as he starts texting all of his new secular friends)
Goliath: "Davey, no! But I thought I was your best friend! And I don’t even have thumbs. We were supposed to go frolfing after school!"
Davey: "I go to public school now, Goliath. Stop being such a spaz!"
Goliath: "OH DAVEY!" (Goliath runs away into the woods)
…You get the idea.
I need an ending. Can you write it for me? I’ll give the person with the best ending a cut of the ticket sales.
(For more from Curtis, check out his blog justwallpaper.wordpress.com)
ending: Davey's pumping gas in his car when his new cell phone rings. as he answers, POOF!---flames. We all know you're not supposed to talk on your cell phone while you're pumping gas. As Davey begins to burn, barking can be heard in the distance. Sure enough, it's Goliath, and he's there just in time to save the day. Davey is rescued by his canine friend and vows never to use a cell phone again.
ReplyDeleteDavey falls into other nefarious behavior such as twitter and facebook. One day finding himself without an internet connection, and thus without friends, he remembers Goliath. Running to the woods, he burst in only to find...Goliath has a family of his own now. But he'll still be his friend.
ReplyDeleteYou could go a little Frank Peretti on it, make it more like Piercing the Darkness. And Gumby and Pokey could do cameo's as the evil spirits.
ReplyDeleteI've watched re-runs of Davey and Goliaith! I think it's a really cute show.
ReplyDeleteAndy Stanley as Davey's dad? That's some brilliant casting right there.
Davey starts a blog entitled "Stuff Claymation Characters Like."
ReplyDeleteBut he uses Wordpress, not Blogger.
And world peace ensues.
wv: degicit
def: question inquiring if you viewed something
"The new 'Davey and Goliath' movie is out. Degicit?"
One of the guys who did the claymation for the original series was Sneeky Pete Kleinow, who also (1) worked on the effects for The Empire Strikes Back (I think he won an Oscar for that) and (2) was a superb pedal steel guitar player, playing with the Flying Burrito Brothers, Linda Ronstadt, Jackson Browne, et al. He died a few years ago. Off topic, yeah, sorry about that, but I just thought I'd add that in.
ReplyDeleteWow, that goes back...I remember watching this in what must have been the early '80s. Davey's family must have been Lutheran - the show's theme song was a brass-infused rendition of "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God."
ReplyDeleteMaybe for an ending McGee & Me should show up and teach Davey a thing or two about the dangers of secular friends.
ReplyDeleteMella, I think in the credits, the Lutheran Church was mentioned as sponsoring or producing it or something.
ReplyDeleteI loved Davey and Goliath.
However, for the ending, I think Davey replaces Goliath with a facebook SuperPet.
"frolfing"? Is Goliath Scandinavian?
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, as usual!
ending: Davey is hanging out with his new friends, when he gets a call on his cell phone: it sounds like Goliath, but there are no words: only barking.
ReplyDelete(Goliath's voice doesn't carry over the phone because only Davey is supposed to hear him and on the cell phone, the government is probably listening in.)
The last bark sounds suspiciously like "help" (or "mortal danger at 2 o'clock," Davey isn't sure which).
Davey suddenly remembers that Goliath has always been there for him, while his new friends didn't even invite him to the premier of Star Trek.
He races off to the woods, where a harrowing search ensues. He finally finds Goliath, who is near death, being sucked into a giant pit of quicksand (a la Princess Bride). *touching moment while the audience sensitively looks away and gets specks of popcorn in their eyes*
In despair, Davey throws his cell phone into the pit, and as it disappears, the radiation miraculously causes the quicksand to turn into skittles.
Davey and Goliath live happily ever after in the woods.
*Fade to black while Phil Collins, who was converted when he saw the film clips, sings about Thoreau and Whole Foods*
lol...that's awesome! Andy Stanley is Davey's Dad? Who knew!?
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always Curtis!
We cut to the next day. Goliath wakes to find he's not in the woods but on the floor at the foot of Davey's bed. He hears water running and runs to the bathroom. There, he finds Davey in the shower getting ready for school back in good ol' 1965. Relieved to find it was only a dream he's so distracted by his joy that he doesn't see the gloved hand of an unknown assailant reach around the corner and fire a single bullet into Davey's chest. And thus, a Summer filled with "Who shot Davey?" tees and even a novelty song by Gary Burbank and Band McNalley would take the Top 40 by storm. Meanwhile, the viewing audience can't help but wonder, "What's a cell phone?".
ReplyDeleteAs Davey is texting furiously walking down the street, he narrowly misses calamity after calamity until suddenly, his thumbs fall off! He looks up for help only to find himself in the path of an oncoming bus! He calls out for his new public school friends but they simply stand on the curb yelling for him to run. At the last moment Goliath swoops in and pushes Davey out of the way! He almost makes it himself, but the bus runs over his tail! As he lays whimpering in pain, Davey throws the cell phone into the trash and screams for someone to call an ambulance. He kneels to hold his old buddy's paw as sirens begin to wail in the background and explains that he should have listened to Goliath *wipes away a tear*
ReplyDeleteWell the ending is obvious. eventually Davey's ears fall off but then Jesus comes and puts them back on and Davey gives up on he evils of texting. The movie fades to black and Goliath says, "Oh Davey."
ReplyDeleteNick the Geek: you are awesome, hahaha
ReplyDeleteIt's hard, but Goliath helps Davey learn to use his cell phone in moderation. Davey would never dream of using his cell phone in class! He only uses it to let his mom know where he's going after school, and to call the police when a little old lady gets her purse stolen.
ReplyDeleteBecause of Davey's new friends and their new-fangled devices, Davey no longer finds himself caring for Goliath like he once did. Goliath watches him for several days, from the tree-line, standing guard for the day when Davey will once again turn to his true best friend. However, trouble ensues because Davey's new friends think Goliath is creepy and needs to be stopped. They attempt to go all "Old Yeller" on him and at the last minute, Davey sees the plot and rescues his old friend. This is accomplished by Davey throwing his cell phone straight at the shooter's hands. (His subsequent dexterity with texting has also given him quite the arm and aim.) Davey rescues Goliath never to leave him for technology again. That is... until he sees a Dolorian...
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, McGee and Me TOTALLY have to have some sort of cameo.
Do Wallace and Grommet get to make a cameo as well?
ReplyDeleteNever heard of Davey and Goliath series but everyone's story endings are hilarious!!!!
ReplyDeleteDavey's texting leads to drugs, (of course!) and Goliath, needing something to do, gets a job in the K-9 unit. One day while Davey is in the woods doing drugs with all of his texting friends, Goliath catches him. Goliath has to make a hard choice. Lots of close ups ensue, and Goliath has a memory montage of his time with Davey (including a clothes trying on scene) but, Goliath does what he knows is right and turns Davey in. He visits Davey in prison every day and prays for him and with him. Bill, the prison Chaplain helps Davey renew his relationship with Jesus. Davey gets out of prison and goes to public schools talking about the evils of drugs and texting with Goliath as his companion (to keep him on the straight and narrow) THE END
ReplyDeleteending:
ReplyDeleteeventually a law is passed and children are no longer allowed to have cell phones.
Davey and Goliath are friends again and society as a whole is better.
...until Davey ironically hits Goliath with his slingshot on accident.
but make the ending the first thing to happen in the film, that way people think the movie was directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Curtis, two words: I love you.
ReplyDeleteWhen Davey is diagnosed with "texters humb" and is forced to expose the truth of his double-lifestyle to his loving, yet hurt family, sally runs off crying claiming she'll never look up to him again, and mom and Dad sadly smile on and forgive him as he turns from his "wicked public school ways". Goliath and Davey become great friends again as they walk to and from school alone, now. Since Daevy has done the right hting,he may no longer have lots of public school friends, but he'll always have his integrity...
ReplyDeleteand of course his GOliath.
"oooh Daveeyyy"
*fade to black*
Following the cell phone incident at school, Davey begins heading down the path of this new frontier. He finds that he enjoys technology, and embraces this change in his existence.
ReplyDeleteBecause he is a minor, mom and dad still make him go to church, but because he's one of the cool kids now, he goes to a megachurch and becomes a metrosexual worship leader in the youth group.
With this new lifestyle, he casts off the old. No more VBS, bootleg cookies or orange drink like his old church offered. Instead, he now sips a latte while chatting it up with the pretty girl across the table...on their cell phones.
Unfortunately, Davey's sudden lifestyle change doesn't go totally as planned. He discovers little colored, fruit flavored candies, band becomes addicted to them. This addiction begins to ruin all his relationships as he continually swipes his friends Skittles.
Forced (in Christian love) to leave his youth group and eventually the megachurch, Davey finds himself wandering aimlessly down a neighborhood sidewalk all alone.
Suddenly, he spots a familiar friend -- a bag of Skittles. As he reaches out to grab the candies from their owner's backpack, the short, unibrowed owner of those Skittles steps around the corner with his recently adopted, oversized dog and leg drops Davey.
Picking up his backpack and his candy, this stranger side hugs his dog and says, "Let's go home Goliath. Let's go home."
Kyle, I hardly ever LOL when I'm by myself, but I'm ROFLing all over the place reading your ending.
ReplyDeleteI think the Director's Cut DVD needs to have multiple endings because these are fantastic.
Hahaha! I've never seen this show before, but from the sounds of it it was pretty awesome. I love McGee and Me though! That's what I grew up watching.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny. And that's all I can think of to say, because I'm laughing too hard.
ReplyDeletehaha, I watched Davey & Goliath reruns as a kid. I still remember an episode where they got lost in a cave. good times, good times.
ReplyDeletekyle should win.
ReplyDeletew.v. carma-- what hindus think you'll ruin if kyle doesn't win.
I really did laugh out loud! That was flippin' awesome!
ReplyDeleteWV--catio: (1) the fancy front entrance to your cat's litter box; (2) the hep, cool 1960s feline answer to the term "daddio."
it's all so funny I have to read it out loud to my husband who is sitting right next to me reading it on his own. That may be annoying to some, but it's just downright hilarious to me.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly the cell phone explodes right in his hands, spraying nuclear waste on Davey, Goliath and all their friends. They melt to the ground in a pool of waxy carnage. Luckily a nearby vegetable stand shields the rest of the town from harm. A cucumber and a tomato start talking. Amazingly, they're both from the Bible Belt and super saved. Children are drawn to their singing and story telling.At the height of their fame the cucumber stops taking his Lithium. Soon they go into sindication, stop using Scripture, and sell out like Amy Grant (who also melted into a pool of waxy carnage, but for different reasons). Then in flies a caped superhero wearing Jazzercise tights from 1986. He calls himself "Bible Man" and is armed with Chap Stick and out of context Pauline quotes. He purposely sends Hello Kitty to the Bible Vet to be spayed so she can't reproduce her bubblegum-Humanistic propaganda. And that, my friends, is why DC Talk broke up.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking a lot of you are confusing poor Davy with Mr. Bill!!
ReplyDeleteDavey continues to text more and more...eventually it leads to long conversations and large phone bills. The addiction to this secular past time leads Davey to try more and more things that the heathen secular kids are doing...eventually he's drinking 15 energy drinks a day, skipping homeschool classes, is found outside leaning up against the house at "recess" texting and drinking a Monster all at once. His mother, concerned, comes out to confront him and ask to pray for him. Davey, feeling that his newfound life's privacy has been infringed on, storms off. His mother, feeling trapped because she has her house dress on and can't go out in that, stays and watches her son walk away.
ReplyDeleteCut to montage of Davey texting, drinking energy drinks, smoking, and yes...dancing.
We catch up with Davey at a text-friend's rave, dancing with people he may or may not have met via text messenging and facebook, strobe lights flashing, bass pounding, Monster spraying everywhere when Davey thinks he hears an all too familiar melody through the bass...but it's not part of the music...it's getting louder and louder, starting to overtake the rave music...Davey, needing to hear the melody rushes to the stereo system, can't find the off button, pulls the plug...Yes, YES, HE CAN HEAR IT NOW!!! he turns to face the balcony when he sees it...Goliath, standing on his hind legs, holding high above his head, with a determined look on his face...his church's Worship Eagle singing "Sweet Hour of Prayer"! He has done it!!! Goliath has come to save his long lost friend! They both run out of the house to the park where they embrace through rivers of tears...when Davey falls over dead from cardiac arrest caused by the over-consumption of energy drinks...(fade to black)
Text: The End?
"At the height of their fame the cucumber stops taking his Lithium. "
ReplyDeleteAlthough most of the endings are funny (Nick's was awesome), this is the only line that actually made me laugh out loud. :D
goliath gets eatin by the local forest bear. that'll teach him for not conforming to modern technology.
ReplyDeleteYou should have Chuck Norris make a special appearance and it would end like this:
ReplyDeleteChuck Norris: "NO, I AM YOUR FATHER"
Goliath: NO!!!!
They already have a new Davey and Goliath. They were snow boarding in the episode we saw.
ReplyDelete@Jake McGee and Me...... now that's a show. I still have the song memorized from the episode "The not so great escape"....
ReplyDeleteYou put it in your mind ( dramatic guitar solo), it's gunna stay gunna stay right there in your heart.