Money is one of those topics that tend to stir up a million questions. Am I supposed to give to God from my gross income or my net income? What about gifts? If someone gives me $100 for my birthday, do I give 10% of that to God or is it only money I've received from work? What about our tax return? Do you tithe on that? What if I'm in the jungle and I find a red ruby in a cave and flee from natives that are shooting at me with frog poison tipped blow darts, do I have to chisel out 10% of that ruby for the offering plate if I escape with my life?
Why do we get flooded with questions like that when we think about money? I'm not sure, but I think it's because the old cliché, "money talks" is true. Or rather, "money lies" and we listen to the things it says. When we talk about it, we're rarely talking about a piece of paper and usually talking about other things. When we get close to it, when we think about tithing or giving or financial strain, is starts to chatter like a parakeet you bought without consulting your wife first because you had one as a kid that used to land on your finger and do funny things but this one hates life and itself and you and just will not stop squawking bird obscenities a million times a day. Hypothetically speaking of course.
So instead of really hearing what's going on, what's really being said, we listen to money. Here's a snapshot of some conversations my wife and I have had about money in the past:
My wife says:
"I think we need to spend some time going over our budget again. We might need to adjust a few things."
I hear:
"You are failing as a provider and a father and a husband. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you weren't so short we'd be able to reach more money in the money trees."
I say:
"I don't like looking at the budget. I find it really confusing."
My wife hears:
"I'm abandoning you on this issue. You're the fun police. My job is to spend the money and enjoy myself as if there's no limit. Your job is to control all the money and then to tell me how much we can't spend and be the financial killjoy in our house."
Did we say those things? Not really, but money loves filling in the blanks and it hates to stay quiet. It's constantly whispering things like:
"I'm the best way to know your real value."
"If you had enough of me, you’d never worry again."
"If you were a better Christian, it'd never be hard to give me away."
"In order to build a better 'later,' you have to sacrifice family time 'now,' but it will all work out."
"Once you earn enough, you'll be able to really start giving."
Chatter, chatter, chatter. Squawk, squawk, squawk.
The simple solution, which doesn’t feel that easy sometimes, is to ask, "Who am I listening to right now? Money or God?" Because although I don't think money is inherently a bad thing, it’s a horrible God.
So today's question is this:
What ridiculous things does your money try to tell you?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
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Money TRIES to to tell me that it holds the key to my happiness.
and that the fulfillment of most of my dreams are based upon it.
And That it is more powerful that any of my futile attempts of persuasion.
That it will open doors for me that I could not bust down on my own.
and my my peace and contentment will come only when its supply is bountiful.
ANd I just shake my head and say,
"I don't think so!" (sometimes the head shaking is required many times a day!)
I'm one of the first, and I have NOTHING brilliant to say.
Sigh.
Seriously though... Money tells me that it will calm all my fears and remove all my problems. That if we just had more of it, we could coast along not thinking about it. It tells me that I need to focus on making some from my writing, even tho God's telling me to just write and wait on him to provide.
Right now, it's telling me, "You have only two-thirds of what you had of me a month ago." And my wife is telling me, "If you had taken it out of the stock market three months ago LIKE I TOLD YOU TO, you'd still have it."
Yet, as you said after the election, "God is still in control."
I'm trying to hear what money is saying, but it runs so quickly through my fingers all I hear is "Weeeeeeee....."
When I listen to God, He tells me things like:
"Peace, be still"
"Do not worry"
"My grace is sufficient"
"Your treasure is in heaven"
If you just get this next thing..yeah it'll make you happy. I was a person who was a compulsive shopper and spent money like it was water on basically junk! But the initial high of getting something new made me happy. But when the credit card bill came the happiness was gone way gone! God's been breaking me of this, I've given up the credit card, left it at home and well guess what I've had this peace I can't explain, also makes that time of the month when the bill comes a lot sweeter.
"Once you earn enough, you'll be able to really start giving."
That is the #1 fallacy right there. Good call.
I think that if we really did live as Jesus taught when it comes to money, we would not really have to worry near as much. I know if I focused on God as much as I focused on money, I would be a lot closer to Him.
You're less of a man because your wife provides for the family.
That's not what I really believe, but money likes to say that.
Ed -
Weeeeeee - is hilarious. I like too that you brought up what God is saying that's opposite of what our money tries to tell us.
Jon
Anon -
My wife was more of the breadwinner before we had kids than I was and I heard that a few times myself. Thanks for sharing that
Jon
Big money lie: "If you give me away, you'll never see me again."
Big God Truth: "You can never ever out-give Me."
For what it's worth, Dave Ramsey says that he tithes off the gross just in case when he gets to Heaven he finds out net was wrong. :o)
I recently heard a sermon where the pastor used the line "God's not taxing you 10%. He doesn't NEED your money."
It was a good reminder for me that I'm to be giving generously, not trying to meet some magical number.
The thing about tithing is that it is an old testament command. The new testament says give as you desire in your heart. Going by that, I would say 10% is not good enough. We can do so much better! I always think of the widow and her two mites. I want to give like her.
My money doesn't generally talk, but when it does, it says "Good Bye." Mostly there's just this giant sucking sound coming from the wallet/bank account.
Amen, Ashley!
Money likes to tell me, "I am independence" or alternately, "I am freedom."
Give if you want more to come to you.
That's what Jesus said. Pressed down, shaken together, . . . sounds like a song. Good verse, Matt.
You have to know what your money is doing, if you are a good investor. Recently, Ya'LL learned that burying your money in an account is the same as burying your money in a Parable.
Give it away, for greater returns.
money says to me
"if you don't tithe, you are not worthy of sitting in church and asking God to do you any favors (praying) you are not worthy of singing His praise and worship because you are a big hypocrite sitting there hoarding your "hard earned" money in your wallet."
i don't "see" how we can tithe that "magical number" (10%) and still pay the bills... so therefore i feel like i haven't "earned" my place in church. i know i know i should just give the 10% and trust that God will just provide the rest... and i should just go to church and sing my heart out
LOVE this post! LOVE the sad way Christians haggle over the tithe question like it's a life or death issue.
Money tells me: "I'm the path to a wicked awesome wardrobe and you'll never have it."
My absolute favorite quote about money comes from Mark Batterson: Tithing is trusting God to do more with 90% than you can do with 10%.
Interesting subject as this is the series at our church right now (The Almighty Dollar).
It's tough times and people are holding on to their money instead of God. Being mature in Christ is having obedience and that means giving in faith - you can't do that if you're faith is in the $$ you're holding on to so tightly instead of Christ. More money won't make happiness because you always want more.
More - God = Misery
Money tells me: "Spend me!
Give me away! You can't take me with you in the end."
Money tells my husband: "Save me. You never know when you may need me."
Together we make a nice balance. I've learned to save a bit, and he's learned to spend and give a bit.
Money is right now saying, "I am all that you need."
Please tell me that is not true.
My money used to say "Na na na na na you'll never have enough of me because you chose to be a caretaker at home, so there. It is all your fault if your family collapses financially and your husband becomes ill from the stress of being the sole provider."
I can't hear the money anymore, because God has provided for us. His actions speak louder than cash.
Money says to me: "Nah nah! You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man."
To which I've learned to respond, "You go ahead and run. I'm not done sitting on God's lap."
It's not easy, I'm often tempted to get up and run, but then God puts his hand on my shoulder to remind me where I am.
Money tells me to save it. Without a nice cushion I get really nervous.
God, on the other hand, tells me to trust Him.
My money tells me that I should spend wisely first and tithe and save off of what is left over. When I listened to my money I never tithed and never saved. Now, When I tithe first and save second, I still always have enough for the stuff Christians like.
I accidently signed in with my husband's account, so "Bob's" comment sounded very weird.
Bob does not have a husband.
I repeat, Bob does not have a husband.
He is my husband, and now I not only use his deoderant in an emergency, I also use his blogger account. Woops
...it tries to tell me 'I can give yo what you WANT!...'
Nothing says "I trust you God" more than giving His money back to Him. I think so much of it is a "heart" thing.
Money says to me, "You deserve me. You worked very hard for me and when you give me away you have given away that portion of your life that you spent earning me."
God says to me, "I have given you the talent and ability that allows you to earn a living. As an added bonus, I have allowed you to pursue a career that you absolutely love, so that it seems like no work at all. But more importantly, I have given you a heart of compassion; a desire to help others. To justify not helping someone in need by listening to what money says to you is akin to saying to Me, 'Thanks for everything, I'll take it from here'. Which we both know, would be an utter failure."
We are supposed to give of AlL that God gives us - Taxes are based on ALL that we make.
The point is - Giving is supposed to be joyful - not stressful. Give from the heart and trust God to take care of the rest. If you don't feel like you can "tithe" - then just Give. Start somewhere - but let it be joyful, not a chore.
"starts to chatter like a parakeet you bought without consulting your wife first because you had one as a kid that used to land on your finger and do funny things but this one hates life and itself and you and just will not stop squawking bird obscenities a million times a day." - i laughed out loud in the computer lab at school when i read this and people stared at me. thanks, jon. haha
my money says "earn me some friends i'm lonely here in this tiny little bank account!"
i usually tell it to shut up.
That it is actually wiser to first pay off debt, because debt isn't good. While debt isn't a good thing, it is no excuse to not offer to the Creator of the universe first.
http://www.austinstone.org/current/moneymatters/. Download the podcasts too. One of the greatest sermons on money (it is so much more than that though, so I recommend it).
Money TRIES to tell me that it's OK to be irresponsible "once in a while" (read: "most of the time"). Money tells me that God can't provide grocery money for us if I don't tithe, so I should skip tithing this week. Money tells me I should be less than transparent with my husband about what I've spent on something (and for him to be less than transparent with me!).
You're so right, Jon. Money is a wretched god.
Mine tells me that professing Christians give an average of only 2.9 percent. So gross, net, whatever. Just pick one and give. It will be more than you were giving before.
Money says:
Stop having all those kids. How will you afford college?
God says:
- Try Me and see if I do not pour out blessings (Mal 3:10)
- Children are a reward (Ps 127:3)
- Do not worry, God will provide (Mat 6:26-30)
Lately this is what I have been hearing from my money:
"Control me, or I'll control you".
I'm working on it.
Jason
Money tells me I am successful and secure.
God tells me I am successful and secure because I belong to Him.
I take exception to the fact that my verification word is "saggie"!!
I guess my current struggle is with being a single income family. Back in the day of being double income, no kids (DINKS) we had money for everything. Hurricane Katrina? Sure. Habitat for Humanity? You Betcha! Tithe? Yup. New Building Fund? Absolutely! Another mission letter? How can we say that we will pray but not support? A trip to Hawaii? Wouldn't miss it!
So now that there are kids and half as much money we have to make decisions. Sometimes we have to say no. That's hard. I tell myself that it would be nice to work part time to have the fluidity in our income to give whenever we see a need, but I would probably just hire a cleaning service twice a month and
get my hair colored. :)
The lie... You can't impact the world the way you once did because you are just a mom now.
Our money tells us that I'm not a real man. And that my wife has to carry us. And we're never going to be okay. We'll always have to worry about it. And we'll never have enough in our savings.
Mostly, it tells us to ignore God and try to do it ourselves. It's tough to ignore sometimes.
wingnut
I'm 34 years old. 6 weeks ago I was completely healthy. 4 weeks ago I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks and diagnosed with a rare autoimmune kidney disease and my world has been turned upside-down. I lost my new job and my wife and I are bracing ourselves for the medical bills to start rolling in.
If we had the money our reliance would be in that and we probably would not look to God...just being honest. Having money is not a bad thing. But it does whisper to me "I've got you covered. No need to rely upon Jesus."
I agree...money is a horrible god. I am thankful God is in control and that we need to trust in him to provide.
Money tries to tell me that if I didn't have it I would be inadequate.
Our money tell me that if I would just get a different job then ends would meet better.
But in truth, we have all we need. And when we ignore the money, trust our God and shut ourselves up, we truly are content and making it.
Barely making it IS still making it!
Money tails me that it'll always be here tomorrow
If you were really smarter, you'd have more of me and could live in one of those nice, cookie cutter evangelical Christian neighborhoods.
Money told me I was poor in America and I should be embarrassed. Money tells me I am "rich" in Nigeria and...I should be embarrassed.
I say, I'm not one for labels.
When people ask me about gross v. net, and other tithing questions, I say, "I don't know. But I do know this. I do not want to nickel-and-dime God and how much to 'give' Him because I don't want God nickel-and-diming His answers to my prayers."
Money says, "Trust me." It is hard to resist, but I have learned that you cannot trust God and trust money.
I have been practicing interrupting Money when it talks.
Money: Without me you have...
Me: You're not the boss of me.
Money: Yeah bu...
Me: You don't control me.
Money: Well you nee...
Me: You are not my source or provider.
Me: God is faithful and provides for my every NEED.
I've found that if I do most of the talking Money can't get a word in edge wise!
Mare,
I love that!
We had that exact conversation at our house just last week!
Another plug for the Austin Stone Money Series. Hands down the best money sermon series I have ever heard.
I can't shake that lost quote. Money isn't a bad thing, but it is a horrible god.
How much of our money does God want? All of it.
We are to spend our money in responsible ways, ways that glorify Him - fun glorifies God, enjoyable things glorify God, paying your rent on time glorifies God, not in excess. Compassion and worthy causes glorify God.
10% tithing is a guideline for supporting temples and His priests.
Who thinks that God wants no more that one 1/10 of our total net resources? Come on is there anything more worth spending on?
It's funny...I think I just heard my money say,
"Don't listen to Jon. Go charge that flat screen you've been looking at for months...that you can't afford...because your husband is too short!"
STUPID MONEY!!AAaaarghhh
A wise friend once told me, "Money, it is just the green stuff they give you for going to work".
It made me laugh and feel silly for always being stressed about money. I realized then I had been living my life like I played monopoly as a kid--I hid the money under the board so others can't take it from me.
My life is bigger than a board game and my God is a much better banker. So now I give Him the green stuff they give me for going to work. Somehow there is always enough of the paper to go around.
"You must have that sweater RIGHT NOW!!"
money says: "if you save me now, I will take care of you when you retire."
i'd love everyone's oh-so-wise feedback on questions I have about saving for future retirement. I'm 24 and I have to start saving?? WHAT??? I don't know about this...
please check out my blog: http://www.hthrttn.blogspot.com/
"i can give you freedom"
"i'm yours."
"i am enough for you"
and
"you deserve a treat."
are the big ones that catch me often!
Actually, it stopped speaking to me ages ago. We've parted ways and therefore I'm out of hearing range of it. If I ever get more then two pence I'll let you know what it says. As for the two pence, plenty of people have spoken on their behalf. If I had a pound for everytime I heard someone giving their two pence worth I'd be really rich. Probably have ten quid by now. Hmmm, maybe I should have said 100 pounds for every time. Really, why stop there? I could change it to ten thousand pounds and wow, I'd have a lot of money.
Well, if there really was someone to give me the ten thousand pounds each time someone said that. ARE there people who do that? Go around and give you money for each time something random happens like that? Because I'd like one of those kind of friends. In fact, how much does that person get paid? I could do that. I'd be good at that. I could easily work my way up the ladder in a job like that. Then, I could have money again and I could start to listen to it.
Alas, but no. Not presently. No money... so it doesn't talk to me. There are other voices I hear on occasion though. When will you be posting about those?
Preach that word, brother!
I am writing a paper over the topic of what Jesus said about money right now for my New Testament class in seminary and am shocked at what I'm finding. Jesus spoke more about money and possessions than any other topic in the Gospels. More than Heaven/Hell, more than loving people, even more than 'finding God's will'. Wow. That says something in and of itself.
Money is such an easy and deceptive idol because, like fire, it is necessary for survival, but if you're not careful, you'll get burned.
Aristotle argued that all of life is lived out of the pursuit of happiness. You don't have to look very far in the American constitution before you can hear this echoed in the very foundation of why our country came into existence. Money claims to either be or be the means to, that happiness.
We suffer from the disease of consumerism in Western culture, America in particular. The next time you have the telly on, take a minute to objectively view what every commercial is really selling you. It is not the product that they flash on the screen at the end of the 30-second spot, but the promise of happiness and fulfillment.
This is a deep and personal struggle for my own life. One thing I would like to challenge anyone reading this would be to look at your giving and attitude toward giving as a thermometer that measures your spiritual temperature. See what your attitude is. How does it make you feel when you write that check/drop that Jackson/pass the plate empty?
It is much more than just about money. It is about trust. It is about sacrifice. It is about God.
Helen/Bob, that was oh, so funny. Thanks! :)
money tells me lately that i am worth something in my marriage, because i am contributing concretely to our life together.
never mind that i also make concrete contributions in the form of laundry, dinner, dishes, dusting, and clean floors. my financial contribution seems to be the only one that matters.
when i listen to God, He asks me, "what if I took away your job and asked you to be completely dependent on your husband as the breadwinner, like how I want you to be completely dependent on Me?" and that really scares me.
me and God, we have a long way to go on the money issue. it's a struggle. we're working on it.
Excellent post! Love the conversation with your wife!
Money tells me I will never be worth anything because do not have enough of it. Money tells me I will never be happy until I get more. Money tells me that it is the key that i will never own.
Money frequently tells me that it is going on strike, and is going to take this paycheck off. And I believe it. Sometimes it actually does take a month off. That's no fun. the thing is, even in months off I have enough to eat.
I don't have anything to add to the lies money tells, but your dissection of money conversations with your wife is SPOT ON what goes down in our house. Great insight.
it tries to sell me "security"
God tells me "Hey, it's mine anyway...."
Shoot, What DOESN'T money try and tell me. If i'm feeling humble it tells me, "think of how many people you could help with more money", if i'm feeling proud money says, "Good job! Now let's get more".
Money has a deceit for all people at all times.
Also, I have always tithed on the gross. Also, one of the best challenges on tithing I have heard is that "10% is a great place to start, not the final destination"
My money tries to tell me that if I'm already giving my ten percent then I can't buy a coat for a child in need this winter b/c it's not in the budget. Sheesh!!!
Money tells me
"Its fine, you can pull out your debit card just this one more time"
"Its only a little bit so it doesn't matter"
"You can afford it, its such a good deal afterall"
"you already have 3 of those but you really need another one!"
"That bank statement wasn't telling the truth. you really aren't going backwards financially"
I heard some awesome quotes on this topic by Dominic Steele:
"if you created it, it is less than you" (and not worth worshipping)
-that humans were created in the image of God and therefore materialism- putting stuff first is WRONG and totally nonsensical.
I know it might sound blindingly obvious but it's helpful for me to be reminded of these things. I shouldn't worry about spending money on people because they are so much more worth it!
I think you overheard a conversation about money at my house before you wrote this post. Did you bug me when you were in town? I wouldn't put it past you for good material... Oh, and Kendra delivered my bumper sticker today. You've upped my coolness factor a ton!
Mine tells me:
If you found a job that gave you more of ME, you could stop working 60 hours a week. Then you could get to the Y and exercise, lose weight, and then maybe a man will find you attractive and you'll finally find a husband.
I think the Bible's pretty clear that we're to give the "firstfruits"---i.e. that the tithe is off the gross not the net.
Now, don't ask me if we do this.....
Money tells me that I have to be able to live comfortably. That I have to have new things.
God tells me that I need to put Him first and be willing to live and give sacrificially, even with monetary and material things.
My money says "Gee, if you only could make more of me you could start giving me away to support worthy causes, instead of finding other ways to help."
Somehow, my money tells me that giving out of my wallet is better and easier than giving out of my time. I should ask God which method to use instead of listening to my money.
ho hummm...I just don't give my money woes to God enough. This is an especially hard day for that. Thanks for the post.
As a newlywed and a college student, money has taken over as a top priority right now! My husband and I both tithe on our gross income, and to be honest sometimes it is hard to see that much money leaving. I am always reminded what my uncle told me though when I was younger, "It's not your money, it has always been Gods. He has blessed you to have a job, a roof over your head, and food on your table, so give faithfully. You will recieve his blessings." I hope that one day we will be able to give more than 10% but until then we will continue to be faithful in our giving and thank God for his blessings!
It tells me if I just had a little bit more then things would be fine and I'd eliminate 87% of the stress in my life.
On the topic of tithing I recently had a friend pose to me an interesting view point. We were talking over the whole gross/net thing and she says, "people only use their net income when it's convenient for them, such as tithing. we never put our net income on a loan application. yet, when we want to give to God, people wanna go net." I have to say, it made a definite impression.
So...I haven't read all of the rest of the smarty-pants, ultra-spiritual, oft-cliche answers, yet....promise I will, but.... My money talks and it always says "GOODBYE!!!!"
My money says that if I had some more of it, I would be less embarrassed of where I live and what I drive. I would feel secure. I would have the power to make others envious of me.
My God says that when I know what it is to want, I will be more effective to minister to those in need. And that ALL of my security and ALL of my identity rests in Him and Him only.
I talked about money today too!
I am loving these comments. Thanks to everybody who has posted so far!
Money tells me that people who have a lot of it can afford to pretend that they step out in faith easier. A lot of rich people take a lot of chances and claim they have faith when they really know that they only took the chance because the knew their money could get them out of the mess either way.
money tells me to go get a job that pays, instead of being a full-time volunteer and trusting God to provide. But God tells me that He will provide all my needs 'do not worry about tomorrow'- even when the bank accounts says zero, and I have no idea where any money can come from- and guess what? God always come through- it might take longer than I would like, but He comes through.
Money tries to tell me that it will take care of me. It won't necessarily make me happy, but I can do more, BE more, if I have just a little bit more of it.
It tries to tell me that its what my family needs to be secure, to buy a house we all fit into, a car big enough to fit all of us into.
It makes me work full time when I'd rather be home, creating, dwelling in the Word of God, making a home for my family.
It also says that if I'm not giving to the church I have no 'right' to be there. Unfortunately, that thought is reinforced by my church when their introduction to the latest capital campaign lasts five (5) Sundays and parades around people (in the form of 'testimonies') who make six or seven figures, telling the congregation that 10% isn't enough, and how God has blessed them because they give at least 20%. Can anyone say, 'prosperity gospel?'
You're right, Jon, it makes a terrible God. Thank you for this.
Money tells me, "McDonalds sweet tea is only a dollar. Who cares if you buy one a day for 6 straight months!"
dropping the sweet tea habit is going to be tough...
Ever heard Steve Taylor's song "Cash Cow"? (Ever written a post on Steve Taylor?)
Money tells me: "I deserve better!"
The word verifications on this blog are always ridiculously awesome. Today's is "cofeater."
Just a little side note IMHO:
If you tithe on gross then you don't have to tithe on a tax return, because you already tithed on that money. Sometimes you may be called to tithe on it anyway, or really then it would be an offering.
Oh, I don't let money talk to me anymore, it has nothing positive to say anyway, why listen?
that 5 bucks for a cup of coffee isn't really all that bad -- coffee -- 5 bucks -- what about that is good??? lots of other deep stuff, but definitely this 1!!
....and this on the heals of a 3 way telephone call with my wife's side of the family trying to decide how much money we want to "swap" for Christmas gifts for each other.
that i need it more than anything else.
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