As I mentioned recently in the Stuff Christians Like facebook group, August is missions month. In addition to the regular posts there will be some posts about mission work and mission trips. So what ideas do you have? Falling in love with someone on the trip and then breaking up when you get back? The sea of same colored t-shirts?
What are the funny things you've experienced on a mission trip or doing long term missions that you think should be immortalized on Stuff Christians Like? Post a comment and let's have a missiontastical month.
p.s. mission trip month was a reader's idea. Thanks for the suggestion. You guys/gals/ya'll/people have awesome ideas.
The best mission trip story I've ever heard/read was from the book Flashbang by Mark Steele. It would be worth sharing on this site this month if it was ok'd. High-larious stuff.
ReplyDeleteWe are doing our first medical mission trip to Haiti this Oct. w/ FAME. I once read on your blog (in the comments section) a missionary saying "And let's talk about what people doing short term mission trips wear!" That had me confused. What do they wear? Are they underdressing or overdressing? And are side hugs a universal thing?
ReplyDeleteas one who just returned from 3 weeks in China...this is a timely post.....
ReplyDeleteand yes...i feel in love on the trip....or shall i say that the seed was planted and God is watering it!!!
anyway....
we had an amazing trip....
but the funniest part about it was that we are crazy! Americans are seemingly off there rockers compared to most other cultures..... especially the conservative mainland Chinese.
American boys in skirts and dresses on fashion show night to :impress: people was a little over the top! why do we fill the need to cross dress to try to reach people?
something i will never understand
something else that is a mission trip standard...or at least at my church....
PLANE DELAYS!!!!! in Newark!!!!
every trip that was returning from China (there were 6 separate trips) got delayed at the wonderful thriving metropolis that is Newark. luckily we, the last trip, got hotel rooms verses sleeping in the terminal!
Oooh I would say write about the leadership styles of the leaders. Somehow i always ended up going on missions trips where the leader took the dictator anal be on time or you are a bad christian approach all around mean guy\gal.
ReplyDeleteAnd then i've heard stories from friends where their leaders were crazier then anyone and it was a wild free for all.
I think everyone has a story to tell about their leader on a mission trip, whether good or bad.
Living in a "closed" country, I get a lot of funny emails and have a lot of funny conversations with people trying to speak in code about missions work. It is needed, sure, but the ways people go about it is hilarious and, at times, very confusing. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been "blest" by the "yarps" to "Papa" from our friends back home in the "store" while doing our "work".
ReplyDeleteNo offense to humbledheart, but it always cracks me up that EVERY person that comes back from short-term missions uses the word "amazing" to describe it. And I am no exception. It's probably because on that next Sunday, people are asking you every 4.5 seconds how the trip was, so there's no time to say "My life was changed by seeing people in a different culture worship our amazing God, even though they have no money (or freedom or church facility or whatever it is)." There isn't time to process all your learning and emotion, so we all use the "amazing" adjective as our faces turn into the sappiest "God bless those poor dears" expression.
ReplyDeleteIt's a must for any return-ees.
limited showering + international plane rides... and not caring that you stink really bad, at least its a group.
ReplyDeleteRegarding safety...Doing things in foreign lands that you would n-e-v-e-r ever do here! Case in point: when in Russia a few years ago, we would hitch hike through this major city. Most of the time, we walked or took a tram/bus/metro, but there were times when you just were too tired and would thumb a ride from a stranger. Give them your destination address written on a piece of paper (since we didn't speak Russian, of course!) pay him a few rubels at the end of the ride and get out of his car. (Please don't tell my mom I did this.) :o)
ReplyDeleteHow about church people making you feel guilty for NOT going into missions/full time ministry. This is one of my pet peeves.
ReplyDeleteteam mutinies that grow out of gossiping and grumbling team members
ReplyDeleteI met my husband on a mission trip - well a Campus Crusade Summer project. In San Diego, CA. One time someone said to me, "you must have really been suffering for the gospel." Why does suffering = mission trip. I guess I have 2.
ReplyDelete1. Meeting the man of your dreams (this seems to happen a lot with Crusade).
2. Suffering = mission trip
My favorite thing about summer missions is the fact that the teams seem to talk about poop non-stop. I know that it is a bit more taboo in America and you want to take advantage of being in Africa and it being okay to talk about it, but it doesn't have to take over every conversation. I am a long-termer and I have never heard so much poop talk from other twenty-somethings as I did this summer.
ReplyDeleteSomething always happens to the vehicle you are using during the mission trip. We had a leader drive a van over a concrete block during a trip in Mexico. A swarm of people came to push a van full of high schoolers off that block. It looked like an elephant trying to balance on a triangle.
ReplyDeleteI'm the person who commented on what Americans wear on their short-term trips. Under-dressing for sure! Everyone brings their worst clothes or goes thrift store shopping for the clothes just in case they get ruined. The girls wear long skirts and sneakers plus t-shirts. They don't care if they match, they don't do anything with their hair, they don't make any effort to look nice. They step out of their rooms in a way they would never dare to at home.
ReplyDeleteImagine being a national and seeing a group of 20 young women walking along the road dressed like that. The nationals in the countries where we have lived always are perplexed by the way the girls dress and why don't they make any effort to look nice?
Also, the missions group leader who wears a fishing vest and safari hat or pith helmet. You can always identify them! I know it's practical to wear something with so many pockets, but it looks really silly when you are in the city not the jungle.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite during mission trips are those people who think the natives of whatever country are deaf or mentally impaired. They forget that they are normal people of adequate intelligence, just of a different culture. It always cracks me up to see them talking really loud or slowly using hand gestures. I think there is a fine line between compassion and patronizing.
ReplyDeleteI co-lead a trip for 35 HS and JH girls as one of 2 males to the Dominican Republic. The issues that flowed from that scenario were immense but I have 1 favorite moment.
ReplyDeleteMy fellow man on the trip (we'll call him Stu... since that's his name) is like me in his general dislike of clothes when they're not necessary - particularly in 100 degrees/100% humidity. Since we obviously had our own room, it became like a mini nudist colony whenever possible.
Our girls were scattered across multiple levels of the hotel so sometimes they had to stop by our room for help with finding people. One day a few girls stopped me in the hall saying they couldn't find their room key so they asked if they could use the phone to call some other rooms. I agreed and brought them back to my room and - don't worry, this isn't a really embarrassing story - after looking in to see that Stu was napping and decent, I let them come in.
They called a few rooms and found their missing key, all the while sitting on the bed talking with us about the day and up-coming schedule. Only after they left did I discover that Stu had been naked the entire time under the blanket and stressing that he was on the verge of being fired.
OK, so I thought it was really funny.
The not so funny part was spending my first wedding anniversary sharing a room with Stu the nudist... you win some, you lose some right?
How about the people you meet on international plane rides.
ReplyDeleteThe different animals you see.
The tourist day when you don't do mission work, just tourism.
All missionaries being weird (I am one, so I feel I can say that).
Missionaries having 10 kids.
The temporary "we are so rich as Americans" feeling that goes away just like camp rededication.
ok, that is enough for now.
Flags. We love flags. Full size flags hung around the sanctuary to represent all the nations we support. Mostly ones we've never heard of. And you can't forget the map out front with the pegs that light up so we can feel proud of how well our missionaries are spread around the world. And best of all...those little business cards/magnets/bookmarks with the missionary's family on it asking you to remember to pray for them.
ReplyDeleteOh, also I developed 2 missions-related terms for phenomena that I have witnessed.
ReplyDelete1. eInternship
This is like eHarmony (online match-making service) but for dedicated Christians of college age. It looks like this...
Young lady goes to another country to love the "great unwashed" and discovers that said country also has great "washed"....and they are 20 years old....and wildly handsome/exotic, with great accents...and love American girls (even in long skirts and sneakers and t-shirts, Jan).
2. Theotourism
I went to Costa Rica on my honeymoon and loved it. They specialize in "ecotourism" where you can see the amazing flora and fauna of a variety of landscapes.
This is the same concept but instead, thinking the place most likely to elicit comments like, "You are so amazing and brave and adventurous and you really are holier than thou" and then deciding to see what God might be doing there.
We went to New York City to do outreach soccer camps and work with a couple of churches in soup kitchens and passed out poptarts as servant evangelism. It was an incredible trip just watchng these kids grow in their faith a they really had to go out of their comfort zone. We are from rural northeast Ohio (Amish Country)
ReplyDeleteAnyway we were on the subway which I likened to the worlds largest elevator in the way nobody makes eye contact or talks. one of the kids in our group has gas. not average you can just ignore it gas it was eye watering people moving to the next car gas. A young mother with her child in a stroller gets on and says who let off a stink bomb, and she is angry, of course my students just start laughing and point to the guilty party. She is really not happy thinking someone let off a stink bomb in the subway. Then it happens again. She looks at him and says "is that natural?" one of my students says that it is. She look right at the guilty party and says "if that's natural, you need a laxative!" which just had everyone laughing so hard our sides hurt. But it lead into a conversation about why we were there. Imagine if she comes to christ because of that conversation? As the old camp song goes-give me beans in my burrito so i witness really neato.
Please write about teen mission trips! I just went on my first one... as a chaperone. I thought it was half cool, half weird. Mostly weird because I think half the trip costs went toward Disney World entertainment on the second half of the trip...
ReplyDelete(sorry if this is a duplicate - my connection went haywire when I tried to submit before).
ReplyDelete-Mawkishly sentimental slide shows shown by visiting missionaries. I just know that thinking these all look exactly the same makes me a very bad Christian.
-Confusing missions with discipleship. Youth ministry gurus love to say that a foreign missions trip gives you the biggest bang-for-buck in terms of life-change in teenagers. Perhaps it does, but that's a mercenary attitude wholly unworthy of the Great Commission.
-Have you done a post on inventing new names for things that have perfectly good names to begin with. My church insists on referring to missionaries as "global outreach partners," and it sets my teeth on edge. The pastor has to explain what he's talking about every time he uses the phrase. If you've made yourself equally incomprehensible to your church members and your visitor-seeker-prechristian-pew fillers, then your attempt at avoiding Christianese has misfired.
We went on a mission trip in high school to south carolina. What we didn't know is our youth pastors planned a surprise white-water rafting trip on the last day. That turned out to be a disaster. The river was at flood level and we ended up having 3 people taken to the hospital and crying our whole way home.
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing was, we prayed for bonding at the beginning of the trip. Praying for bonding is a lot like praying for patience. Don't do it :)
How about a post on the fuzzy math of mission trips?
ReplyDeleteI recently heard the pitch for one of my church's annual trips, which sends a group of 20 unskilled folks to do construction work and street evangelism with this church in the developing world. The presenters mentioned that this church is praying for a bus, so they can transport the villagers to worship all year long.
Seems to me that at $1000 apiece, 20 folks could NOT GO on the trip this year and buy them a bus instead. But that'll never happen!
Summary:
Mission trip plane ticket: $600
Food, lodging, and ground transport: $400
That warm fuzzy feeling inside: Priceless.
Wearing a Canadian Flag on your backpack
ReplyDeletea) For Canadians to be distinguished from Americans in foreign countries.
b) For Americans to be more welcomed.
Don't complain. It happens.
Praying the missions dinner prayer - "Lord, I'll put it down if you keep it down." You cannot be rude and not accept what is put in front of you, but sometimes it takes all the strength you have just to swallow. And it's worse when the food is not that foreign, just something that makes you gag to eat - like rice pudding. I can eat a lot of things but for some reason that night I just couldn't force down the rice pudding.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite is the mission trip preparations. It seems to be nearly the same stuffs for us in church:
ReplyDelete- prepare by rehearsing puppet shows and mimes that will transcend languages and cultures. (i like that part)
- a theme song, theme verse, theme shirt.
- asking the church for sponsors for clothes and toys and stationary.
and yupp. nearly every trip comprises of at least one visit to orphanages (in the developing South-East Asian countries).
guess thats what short-term missions largely comprise of. medium-term to long-term differs so much tho.
Someone may have said this, but the youth group spiritual high following a trip, always last 1 Sunday, then their back to their self-centered culure (I was guilty too).
ReplyDeleteA hispanic interpreter once told me that while a group was in Mexico an english pastor preached and instead of interpreting the English sermon that he did not like, he spoke his own sermon to the people. he said it turned out well, people got saved and the pastor felt good about it.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I got back from a 6 week trip to far east Russia and are planning a 6 month trip to Africa. I love the sprinting through the airport to the terminal as everyone is watching...classic. Also, the fact that Americans are rock stars! We would go to market and the only thing we could understand was, "Americans!!!" We look forward to the next trips. We have a lot more stories!
ReplyDeleteLetter Writing to Everyone you have ever crossed path with to "partner" with you.
ReplyDeleteMexico - the only place where missions takes place
Buying Soccer Jerseys - That might of been only me. . .
Smuggling Bibles
"Mostly weird because I think half the trip costs went toward Disney World entertainment on the second half of the trip..."
ReplyDeleteMy thinking was along this line, but just to solidify my thoughts:
What is up with teen youth group mission trips seeming more like vacations with a little bit of service thrown in? Fly to some exotic area, go tubing, hike some trails, swing a hammer as a group of 20 raises a barn, interact mostly with people in your group, spend a day in the city, spend a lot of money on souvenirs, fly back.
Oh, the obligatory Slide Show report of pictures from amateur photographers three months after the trip that everyone forgot the trip happened
ReplyDeleteHow about interpretation issues - like the pastor I knew who went to Mexico, was really proud of using his spanish, and kept telling people that Jesus wanted to save them from their "pescados"... not realizing that he was saying "fish" instead of "sin" (pecados). Ha!
ReplyDeleteAlso - the different types of people you see on a missions trip, especially with jr high or high school kids... like the lazy kid who tries to get out of actually doing any work, or the rebel whose parents sent them in hopes that it would change their life, or the mini-dictator who wants to be in charge of everything, or the popular girl who's all about getting all the guys to fall in love with her, usually paired with the cool guy who just wants to show off his muscles (on build-a-house-type trips).
Really emotional conclusions to the trip, especially if a bonfire, sharing what God has taught you and "friends are friends forever" kind of songs are involved... only to be followed by a slow decline back into pre-mission trip life. This also affects friendships started on the mission trip - a lot like "The Breakfast Club" and what Monday morning must have looked like.
Eating some really disgusting food. Especially in a foreign country. Fish heads, bugs, unidentified meat, etc.
At least one person who forgets not to drink the water (and that ice is water), and who needs to use everyone elses' supply of Immodium AD.
Bugbites, sunburns, minimal showering facilities, usually no laundry facilities.
That's all I can think of for now.
Well, there's always airport trouble, different customs, often limited showers, and yes, the food. When I was in Ukraine we were served these huge hot dogs that were as big around as my wrist. Cucumbers were served at every single meal, as was hot tea. That was in the city. In the country we were treated to sardines on buttered bread, and fish with more bones than meat. Good times.
ReplyDeleteThe animals in Peru is something I'll never forget. Holding a huge anaconda boa was absolutely incredible. If you ever have the chance to go to a "petting zoo" not far from the amazon, go!
Oh yeah ... but just don't drink the water. :)
I forgot to mention those horrible human video skits - you know the face-painted-kid-scarying ones.
ReplyDeleteWhat about all the random souvenirs everyone brings home? They are like little pieces from that world you experienced. Every time I look at that carnal, skin covered drum on my shelf, I remember the hours of dancing and banging on those drums like we knew what we were doing.
ReplyDelete- The video montage set to "Hands and Feet" by Audio Adrenaline that is always shown on the Sunday after the team gets back.
ReplyDelete- Wordless dramas (mainly, the "Everything" skit)
- Realizing that the poor boy in Indonesia isn't "pretend" and is actually much poorer, dirtier, and skinnier than he looked on the cover of Time
- Having your mission "change your life" ... for about two weeks
-Being the church "rockstar" in the months surrounding the trip
How about the teen mission trip(usually to Mexico) that involves maybe a couple hours of VBS in the morning and the rest of time at the beach...glorified vacation with lots of opportunity to make purple.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read many of the replies (or any of them), so I apologize if this is redundant: How about children's missions organizations (GAs, RAs, Acteens, etc.) that send care packages to missionaries in the US- you know, stuff like razors, soap, sticky notes, snacks- things you "can't get" on the mission field.
ReplyDeleteThis actually happened to a friend of ours who was a missionary in Indiana through NAMB several years ago!
How about the "types" of people that go on those trips! It's like the 7 Dwarfs of Mission trips!
ReplyDeleteThe Whiner (I can't eat this!)
The Sickie (gets food poison from everything)
The Enthusiast (Come on guys, lets DO THIS!!!)
The Sheltered "Mamma's Boy"
The OCD Germaphobe
The Diva (HAS to find an outlet!)
The Steve Erwin (goes after every animal in sight)
We moved to Haiti a couple of years ago = one of our jobs includes hosting one week mission teams each month - we have a lot of fun with some of the things people do -- clothing is certainly one of them -- but another is HYDRATION -- sometimes we will maybe take a walk ... oh say, around the mission ... but before we walk 500 steps everybody gets their camelback all loaded up -- the hydration efforts for just a short hike are quite impressive. We also laugh at how over the top anal retentive people are about what water to drink and what food to eat ... most don't trust the filtration we do of our water ... they want to go buy water that is filtered elsewhere, little do they know that water filtered elsewhere is likely MORE risky ... whatever, perception is reality. :)
ReplyDeleteOh the ideas are limitless really.
Cultural Relevance and ignorance of the culture you're entering ... that alone could give you weeks of material.
what about the Sunday Service when the team gets back from their trip. This always involves:
ReplyDelete1 - the kids who shares his story in front of the church, only he doesn't write anything down and rambles for 5 minutes.
2 - the kid who shares her story in front of the church, only she writes it all down and reads it in the most monotone voice possible.
3 - kids sharing inside jokes about the trip that make everyone else uncomfortable, especially the kids who didnt go.
4 - the stories from the youth pastor about the one student who was so much trouble, he hopes he never sees him again.
Oh -- gotta share this ... I cannot put it on our blog for fear of getting busted by the higher ups -- but one time this white dude came down to preach to Haitians ... his sermon (like any good sermon) had some illustrations and fun stories to add to his point and drive it home -- one of his LONGEST most drawn out illustrations was about WINSTON CHURCHILL ... preaching to Haitians about Winston Churchill - zero context - zero. That would be like your pastor in Iowa preaching using the name Toussaint Louverture out of the blue in a sermon and assuming all of Iowa knew who that was. Der!!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toussaint_L'Ouverture
I had someone tell me that mission trips are just 'vacations for middle-class white Christians.' I work for an organization that leads these trips, but there is a lot of truth in that.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it seems like we are more interested in making people more like us than more like Christ. Also, the focus seems to be on the effect in has on us rather than the effect it has on those we are supposed to be ministering to. We buy trinkets and ride zip lines while locals wonder where their next meal is coming from.
I think most mission trips (by Americans) grieve the heart of God.
On our college mission trips we always had "debriefing" sessions at night to share what we'd learned, who we'd been able to share with, etc. But when our leader said "debriefing" we couldn't help but giggle. And we were always soooo tired but we always "debriefed".
ReplyDeleteOne trip we stayed in a house that we thought was going to be empty - we had about 30 of us. We got there and the house was stuffed with JUNK. The guys slept outside in a tent and several girls slept on 4 mattresses literally stacked on one another.
I don't know if anyone else had similar experiences but thought I'd share these.
That night when everyone writes their names or draws handprints on each others' shirts, ensuring that no one will ever wear that shirt again.
ReplyDeleteI remembered two more fond memories - endless diarrhea and a bag full of foreign crap, also known as souvenirs (nothing says thanks for supporting me like a lead-painted, hand-carved monkey). O' raising the funds is a good one too.
ReplyDeleteHere's another idea - the kids who get in major trouble on the trip. Every time we went to Mexico, the same group of people almost got us kicked out of the country. Or at least the church. The boys would wonder off in the middle of the day to nap, or they would follow the cute girl into town at night without telling anyone. Or they do something that law enforcement sees and you have to bribe them to keep the kid out of Mexican prison...
ReplyDeleteThe mission's trip version of "bless her heart". this is where kids on the trip complain about the food and the showers and the tents and the leaders then smile and say "but that's not why we're here".
ReplyDeleteOn one of the mission trips I took to England as a high schooler the pastor and councelors had us all take days off to go shopping. I watched in awe as the kids ran past the needy to buy some Diesel Jeans.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably not blog-tastic, but on a missions trip to Mexico a few years back, I was stabbed twice by mexicans and one of the leaders went on midnight drug runs for me and another girl for a few days in a row.
ReplyDeleteI had some sort of strep or sinus infection and being that I was living in dorms under a medical clinic, when I was profusely vomiting, they made me go upstairs for "care". They gave me an IV and a shot for whatever I had. (They barely spoke English so I will never understand what they gave me or why. I'm pretty sure he didn't know any of my symptoms and guessed by my throat and nose insides. We barely had a translator so that was scary but I was too weak and miserable to resist shots and medicine.) The next day another girl was so sick she stayed in the clinica over a period of 24 hours unable to communicate with anybody in a community style room with hospital beds piled in. I think getting a shot/IV and going back to bed in privacy was the better deal.
Also, because my bedroom downstairs was directly under the birthing room, we constantly were woken up by the screams and cries of newborn babies and their mothers as they came into the world. It was awkward, but also cool to semi-witness so many miracles of God bringing these precious little ones into the world.
Definitely the short-term mission trip where you send a lot of unskilled people to do what the citizens of that country could do quicker and better, plus they could use the work, not to mention the money you are spending to take a bunch of 16-year-olds there.
ReplyDeleteMy dad called the other day because he has hooked up with some organization that goes to Sudan and tells Bible stories, because, he says, it's an oral culture, and he wants me to go with him. I ask him, are you doing anything besides telling Bible stories? Because I'm all for Bible stories, love 'em, but Sudan is pretty lively these days, there's probably other stuff you could do. Not to mention there *are* actually churches in Sudan, and they probably communicate better with their own folks than you do, and maybe you want to take the $4000 it would cost you to spend a couple of weeks there and fund those churches and their outreach efforts.
Dad: totally undeterred.
Me, desperate last-ditch effort: Do you speak Dinka? Or Arabic?
Of course he doesn't.
I said I'd have to opt out of the trip.
Hahaha. Mission trips are fun. What about the horrrrible showers? For us, the girls, we had to use the girls basketball locker room showers. The people in charge built these like makeshift cubicle things out of pvc pipe and lime green and pink shower curtains, which didn't really give any added privacy. And there were only like 6 showers for 150 people and there was only a time period of about 2 hours to shower. It was hilarious. And then there was an incident were a girl actually *pooped* in the showers... disgusting. Aw man the crazy things that go on in mission trip showers...
ReplyDeleteOh yeah and what about saying you're gonna continue missions work in your own community and you're gonna still be on fire for God, probably intoxicated by the bright lights and electric guitars, and then as soon as you get home you're back to normal? Cause that sucks...
ReplyDeleteHow about the Sunday after when youth tells about the mission trip? Lol ours was awesome but I've heard a few horror stories...
ReplyDeleteHow about the customary fun trip on the way home from a mission trip? You know, when your youth leaders think it'll be fun to go to the beach for 2 days after you've been working all week pulling of shingles on a hot roof or painting a new house... lol and they usually surprise it on you too... I enjoyed it but some of the younger girls were not too happy :]
ReplyDeleteThe horrible catchy theme song that is still STUCK in your head months after the trip...
ReplyDeleteI've been on a handfull of mission trips lately and some of the funny things I've noticed is how much of the time what happens is a bunch of American kids run off into the bush with dreams of helping the world, but just get themselves into trouble, have culture shock and need God to bail them out... which is where most of the growth ends up happening.
ReplyDeleteMy friend went on a trip to Costa Rica and spent most of the time rafting with little breaks in between to hand out tracks to people who couldn't care less.
My sister went on a trip to Cambodia where her leader got culture shock, locked herself in her room most of the time and kicked the locals out of the house because she was basically afraid of them.
Some people just flat our aren't cut out for it.
I can't remember where I heard this or if it's true, but there was a missionary who had a wall just for the Americans to come and paint so they would feel like they were helping, but it would keep them out of the way.
ReplyDeleteI just got back from a work-related mission trip. Went from Dallas to Beaumont to hang drywall in homes damaged by Hurricane Rita.
ReplyDeleteWe're partnered with a church based disaster recovery group. The leader of that said that everyone always goes somewhere else to do missions, instead of staying local.
This was illustrated by the church members who told us their Jr High students were going to Dallas the next week to do a building project.
So yeah, my contributions would be - you can never stay in the same town to do a mission trip, and leaders who turn all dictator on everyone.
My favorite is having to jusitfy missions trip to tropical places like the virgin islands. i cant tell you how many people called my missions trip to St. John a vacation. good thing they didnt have to sleep in a tent with no air conditioning and fight off crabs the size of texas... and paint in the 100+ heat. maybe their vacations look like that.... mine do not.
ReplyDeleteas i said in another post, sometimes i serve as a translator for american groups that come to mexico (specifically chihuahua) and i've seen many of the things previously said.
ReplyDeletethe last time i worked with an american group, all the girls wore skirts, but not regular skirts, mennonite-like skirts. i am not a fashion expert, but they were hideous. also the matching shirts is a must.
when it comes to translate sermons or stories, i have a hard time finding the cultural-equivalent to the things the missionaries say. it also works the other way around when i translate sermons from spanish to english. how in the world an american person is gonna know who pedro infante is?
Conversing with our 2 year old reminded us of this one.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are having trouble communicating across a language barrier, just talk louder. Because if they didn't understand English the first time, maybe the problem is just with their hearing and not with the language.
Apparently in some countries sh_t isn't considered a crude or offensive word but is in fact a commonplace term used even in polite conversation, to refer to the bodily function of eliminating solid waste, as in "I need to use the bathroom" might be said "I need to sh__t.".
ReplyDeleteNobody told our church's short term missions team this important fact.
While in Africa a woman from our church group told the local pastor's wife that she needed to go to the bathroom. Some confusion ensued when she was shown to a room that had a washbasin (the "bath") but no toilet. Growing embarrassed but increasingly desperate, she tried to explain what it was that she really needed. Finally, the face of the African pastor's wife just lit up with delight and understanding and she exclaimed for the whole room to hear "Oh, do you need to SH_T?"
"And the next slide, please?"
ReplyDeleteMission trips are the only time that it is acceptable to talk about pooping. It is all about the how much or how little or the consistency. Then there are the group made euphemisms to refer to your current pooping status.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, this summer, I was in Mexico and one of our teenage girl team members was having trouble with "evacuation". So we did the logical thing and purchased some prune juice. However; she would not drink it because of the taste, so I went shot for shot with her. Only on a missions trip (or perhaps a senior center).
Giving kids free "old crap" that we don't want anymore...like a t-shirt that says "World's Greatest Dad." And those little Asian kids will wear that junk! They have no idea what it says!!!
ReplyDelete+ The person who never showers, as if they've been waiting for this opportunity their entire lives. Granted, in many countries, they don't smell any worse than the infrequently-bathing, non-deodorant-using natives, but why would someone who normally smells nice decide reeking is a good change of course?
ReplyDelete+ For mission trips in third world countries: the citizens of the country having far less than anyone in the USA, and yet being more giving.
+ Wishing you spoke the language. Never mind that you speak the language in your home country and don't really tell anyone about God there...
+ Someone - usually a guy - drinking the water, or brushing their teeth in the water, or eating something they shouldn't, and getting sick.
+ Girls getting ogled constantly any place with men.
+ Really bad singing - sometimes just for our own "enjoyment", other times for others.
+ Loooong flights, showing movies that are not approved by the mission organization. LOL.
+ Craving McDonald's, or Starbuck's, or pizza, or all 3. Even when you've only been gone a week.
+ The slide-show (now made much cooler by technology) where everyone who went on the trip cries, and everyone else thinks, "Oh, cute kids" and then gets bored.
+ Trying to convince everyone that just supporting or helping the team makes them part of the team too. (Okay, so that's true, but...)
+ Souvenirs you will never use when you get back home. (I'm thinking of the people who bought anything Crocodile Dundee-ish when we were in Australia. Or didgeridoos. Australia has a surprising amount of souvenirs that seem cool when you buy them...)
+ Pretending to be a good Christian while you're there, and then going back to being a hypocrite when you get home.
Missions trips! I have fond memories of them although I question how useful they really are....Some ideas for you to touch on:
ReplyDeleteFundraisers! Bake sales, auctions, and especially car washes. Of course the thing with car washes is that only 5% of the team ever shows up. Say a group of 25 kids will be going to a Dominica, an announcement for a carwash on a hot sunny saturday is given, and you get there only to find...4 other people. And one of you has to hold signs. True story.
Or what about bonding time on missions trips? On said trip to Dominica, we packed 10 guys into a small, hot room with 4 bunk beds. 2 hot, sweaty, almost naked guys curled up in a bed together is pretty much the most ungodly thing ever.
Missions trip pranks? I went on a missions trip to New York City, and while sightseeing in Chinatown, one of our guys bought a pack of chocolate ex-lax and told some of our girls that it was "Chinese Chocolate". They spent a good part of the night in the bathroom and he got in a looot of trouble.
Also, giving testimonies at local churches. If your team is partnered with a local church, typically some of your members will have to get up and speak and give a testimony. Sometimes it's a "Hi I'm *Name*, I'm from America. I was born in a Christian home and raised a Christian and I love Jesus. Thank you." Other times you get some pretty good, heartfelt testimonies in there..
The LOUD/SLOW talking that somehow will magically make people from another culture/language understand what you are trying to tell them . . . as if they were deaf or dumb.
ReplyDeleteFrom Lark News:
ReplyDeletehttp://larknews.com/november_2005/secondary.php?page=1
Missionaries Skip Fundraising, Start Tour Guide Companies
how about the awkward bus/van trip to the missions location (if it's in the U.S., obviously). I went to Colorado for a mission trip over spring break, which is a good 14 hour drive. we took 2 15-passenger vans, and it was funny to see everyone sitting next to eachother, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in without having to touch the person next to them, who they didn't know very well.
ReplyDeleteand then there's the crazy loud mission trip leader who has an ungodly amount of energy and always decides to express their excitement at the worst times. for example, at 3am on the 18 hour bus ride to minnesota when everyone is asleep...
Haha I have to agree with the bus ride... all the stupid little games I think our youth pastor just made up to keep us occupied for a little while.. and then boys couldnt sit next to girls and all that stuff
ReplyDeleteOkay I get the dress comments. How about a "how to" for newbies like me!!! HELP me be effective-please, I only have 1 week! And funny, funny is good. How do I connect and truly help someone.Especially in Haiti. Help me Livesays!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFor a while at my old church (a large, Southern Baptist church in the DFW metroplex) it seemed like everyone was always going to Africa.
ReplyDeleteMy dad went in '88, '89, '90 and '91. On the trip in '90, my two older siblings and my mom joined him.
Myself? I've been twice - '96 and '01.
The one thing they said about Africa that I thought was wrong was that you needed to wear long dresses if you were a female. I found that to be wrong and I wasn't too happy about it.
(both of the following are youth group mission trips)
ReplyDeleteMy sister went on a mission trip to St. Croix...yes, that's St. Croix, as in Virgin Islands. Anyway she spent a good amount of time telling people it was NOT a vacation. There were poverty stricken people and they were going to do a VBS and hand out food and such. Anyway, she gets to St. Croix and our dipstick of a youth pastor GAVE THE WRONG TRIP DATES TO THE LOCAL MISSIONARIES TO CONFIRM THE TRIP. The missionaries were on vacation when the group arrived. In the end my sister and her friends had a 2 week, all expenses paid trip to St. Croix. And the money set aside for extra expenses - they all went scuba diving. Ah, missions....
Or what about the girl on the mission trip who gets all emotional over the little national children and milks it for all it's worth. Every adult thinks, "She's so spiritual!" and "What an angel!" Meanwhile, the rest of us girls nearly break our backs working while she poses for maybe 15,000 photos of her crying and holding a kid. Oh, yeah, I hate that girl. Even now.
Or the kid who gets drunk with the nationals. After all, "This is Europe. It's not illegal here. Plus we shared the Gospel." Repent you teenage drunkard!
Or, my friend Kevan. He was a hobo clown on an inner city trip I took. It was about 100 degrees and he was in wool pants, a suit coat, a shirt with a bowtie, clown wig, hat, etc. He was making balloon animals for children who live in the projects. Sweat was pouring off him like a faucet. And the kids are hanging all over him... He was losing his patience in a big way. Then, this yippy little mutt comes and starts snapping at his heels. At first he ignores it. Then he loses it and screams (yes, screams), "IF THAT DOG DOESN'T SHUT UP I'M GOING TO SHOOT IT!!!!" Everyone freezes and looks at him. And this little girl starts crying and pulls on his sleeve, "Please don't kill my dog, Clown." Again, ah, missions...
"What is up with teen youth group mission trips seeming more like vacations with a little bit of service thrown in? Fly to some exotic area, go tubing, hike some trails, swing a hammer as a group of 20 raises a barn, interact mostly with people in your group, spend a day in the city, spend a lot of money on souvenirs, fly back."
ReplyDeleteYep, you nailed it! I think even as a teenager I would've been weirded out by that.
"How about the teen mission trip(usually to Mexico) that involves maybe a couple hours of VBS in the morning and the rest of time at the beach...glorified vacation with lots of opportunity to make purple."
I really think teenagers need to go on single-sex mission trips only. That was way too many "love triangles" in one week for me.
so these might not be so funny, but...
ReplyDeleteBut along with the "amazing" comment.....after you've been gone for 1 or 2 years, people ask "how was it?" and then after about 1 second, zoning out and not paying attention to what you actually had to say......so you just revert back to "amazing"
Or kids on trips not listening at all to the "advice" of the long-termers and then not understanding why they're not connecting with the culture and getting the weirdest looks from the locals.....
and I agree with the craving of American food after only being in country for 4 days and takes that as "hardship"
I second that closed country mission speak idea!!
This may have been said, but I didn't want to read the 77 comments before me to find out.
ReplyDeleteWhat about when you go on a missions trip and they try to server you American food to please you? It is always terrible. I was so disappointed when we went to Mexico and our hosts served us American food at all but one meal.
getting hurt on a mission trip, and breaking tons of stuff wherever youre staying at on a mission trip.
ReplyDeletei did both of those on the one mission trip i went on.
oh! and along with the purpling.....the mission trip goggles! Seeing that guy/gal, who you wouldn't really be interested in while living in America, doing their noble mission work, and since they're the only one around, you start crushing hardcore.....
ReplyDeleteI went to Hungary a few years ago with a small team of adults and high school students. Our journey began with a frantic phone call from the youth pastor who told us he got the flight time wrong and we were actually flying out 3 hours earlier than we thought.We managed to catch our flight to LaGuardia and get on a flight to London. As our plane turned to fly across the Atlantic ocean, we all smelled smoke. The captain assured us that it was only a "small electrical fire." A random lady who informed us that she "worked" and a mental institution was convinced that the fire was caused by "a cigarette in a dirty diaper" and as she stood up and ranted and raved at the passengers, the stewards and stewardesses had to restrain her and get her to sit down. We then landed in Gander, Newfoundland (look it up) and spent the night in the airport. (I slept in a bathroom) When we finally made it to London, we woke up to find that British Airways was on strike and there was no way we were getting to Budapest. We spent 2 and a half days in London wearing the same clothes and stinking up the place until we could fly to Budapest on a plane so old that it still had ashtrays in the bathroom. We finally it to our final destination in Hungry 3 and a half days later than we planned.
ReplyDeleteThe End
Something funny I've noticed going on missions trips is that people tend feel more freedom than normal talking about their "bodily functions". I think somehow everyone bonds over sharing about their "business" or lack of doin' business. Probably 'cause you're eating weird stuff and going to the bathroom in even weirder places. Once you get home, it's not the same. Only you and your team were able to share the memories of turning the "diarrhea" song into a parody about getting a parasite called "Giardia".
ReplyDeleteWent on a mission trip to France for a summer. We were supposed to refurbish an old church. The pastor couldn't get a permit. So guess what? I had to go out and evangelize.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you I never saw that one coming.
this isn't specific to missions, however what about the "appropriate swimwear" for church trips. the last one I went on I bought a one piece and was pretty proud of myself for thinking about modesty, low and behold half the girls there were wear skirt tankini's which I didn't know was an option. All of a sudden my onepiece looked a bit scandalous without a skirt on the bottom. Up until that trip I thought only old and or pregnant women wore suits with skirts...
ReplyDeleteShort and sweet! I went to Honduras and went to a small village that had about 75 people in the whole village. They had an outhouse 7ft off the ground and all the makeshift houses faced the outhouse. I was bad sick if you know what I mean and each time I would run to the outhouse and climb the stairs the women of the village would all be looking out their windows to watch the event. The toilet was just a hole that went to the shallow water below (that they washed in) and pigs would follow you to the outhouse and sit under the toilet and gather their fill if you get my drift. When I returned to our host house about 6 hours up the river and prepared to go home they bought me a toy pig and wrote on it in Spanish, "So you will always know that someone loves you in Honduras."
ReplyDeletePeace,
Pastor Steve Wright (San Francisco Tat contest dude) www.thesaltminechurch.org
We just went last week to El Salvador to help out at an orphanage.
ReplyDeleteThey had us make a new driveway for the neighborhood they are in. We had to dump some of the rocks and cement we tore up. We thought we were just going down the street so we jumped in the back of the work truck and stood up grabbing the bars above. Apparently the driver (alfredo) had a different plan. There are no speed limits listed in El Sal.. So we went flying down the freeway at like 95 miles an hour, holding on for dear life. At one point we hit a bump and we all floated for a second or two. One of our guys hit his head on one of the bars.. He's ok. but really we all thought we were goners..
I was a youth worker for years and one of our youth ministers favorite thing to say on church trips was "boys are blue girls are pink, lets not make purple" whenever he would see boys or girls to close together he would yell "purple" at the top of his lungs which startled everyone around him and kids would get the dear in the headlights look trying to figure out if they were the ones actually making the "purple"
ReplyDelete-Thrift store clothes
ReplyDelete-Alienating the church group they happen to room yours with
-Having someone get arrested out of the house you are working on (yes, this actually happened at the house I was assigned on my last mission trip).
i haven't read through all of these yet, but for SURE one thing people do, is go home and start pronouncing random words the "right" way. like if you go to mexico, you start making that x an h. and it's not ALL words...you still pronounce quesadillas and other words the same. it's just random little words, here and there. in the middle of normal southern drawl (or whatever), people pronounce random words differently.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if someone mentioned this already but: crocs and chacos..you have to have either type of shoe for the missions trip!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know someone mentioned this about the leader, but its not alsways the leader (I have led trips and would NEVER wear this!), the safari hats and vests...when we are NOT going on safari! It kills me! You know they only bought it for the trip!
And you ALWAYS have that one person who is upset becasue you spent ONE day sightseeing instead of working!
ReplyDeleteLong floral skirts the women in the group would never wear at home. That's among my top 5 pet peeves of people who show up for two weeks of "bringing Jesus to Africa."
ReplyDeleteNote to the masses:
ReplyDeleteKeen Sandals are the new desired footwear for all Caribbean mission trips. $98 - bam, you're in.
eating beans and rice for lunch and rice and beans for dinner while staying on a boat on the Amazon river in Peru.
ReplyDeleteHow about it's one of the few times when people talk about it being such a "journey" when there really was traveling involved? That might be a seperate idea - how much Christians make every spiritual experience a "journey" - "it's about the journey" when actually, Romans says this life is to prepare us for the next one. Sounds like it's about the destination to me!!
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up on all your posts so sorry if you've addressed this already!
(Did I miss this in the comments, or....?)
ReplyDeleteOne thing we Christians seem to love is missionary prayer cards that give us an out from having to pledge any actual money. They all say something like,
Nothing would delight me more than to invest in God's work through you in the destitute, pagan country of Brownistan. Today I pledge:
___$100
___$50
___$25
___$10
___None at this time, but I will keep you in my prayers daily, especially while enjoying smooth, delicious $5 Starbucks lattes.
Mission trip "sponsorship letters". You know, those letters they have to send out to everyone they know and their dogs/cats/etc... in order to raise funds to go?
ReplyDeleteYeah. Those deserve a post.
I never got to do a missions trip, because my dad didn't believe it was ok to send out letters asking for money. I'm so deprived.
:-)
the boyfriend/girlfriend that breaks up (supposedly) just cause they shoudn't be dating on a missions trip
ReplyDeleteActually Jon already posted a blog on this very subject in which he wrote an example missions funding support letter. I forget the title but it should be pretty obvious. Check it out. ;) It's hilarious as usual.
ReplyDeleteAnd I dont' know why nobody else's church friends don't still talk about their bodily functions after trips. My whole group of church friends is very much still comfortable talking about such items and it has been several years since our highschool trips.
How about defining "mission trip"? Not to crack on any denomination but I went on a mission trip with first baptist in my hometown in high school and was so excited until I learned we were doing VBS for a big church in Charleston. Does that even count as a mission trip?
ReplyDeleteHow about fashion tips for returning long-term missionaries. Not that I was "in fashion" before I left. We could also use an update on new popular phrases.
ReplyDelete1. nalgene bottles.
ReplyDelete2. bandanas
3. chaco sandals
4. long skirts
matching shirts for dramas, teaching, testimony time.
signing "autographs"
having "americano!" screamed at you all hours of the day and night
going to villages that "have never seen white people"
in asia at least, always doing the peace sign in photos and saying, kim-chee
oh man. a standard for where i was... always hearing rap music! we were on a remote island with no running water and basically every stereotypical missionarytype thing you can think of (rats and roaches in the house, hundreds of kids outside our door putting their hands through the windows to touch it) and all day every day the song, "apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur" would BLARE over the stereo.
plus most kids only know how to say, "what's your name?"
although it's already been said, talking about poop is a must on a mission trip. we had diarrhea for two months straight. you gotta have something to compete about.
"i crapped 9 times in the middle of the night. beat that."
"oh yeah? well i sharted (farting but then poop comes out...) on the prayer walk at the buddhist temple yesterday."
"damn, you win."
the awkward singing in front of a church of foreigners who have no idea what you're saying but you're missionaries so of course you know how to sing! and then doing the dance because hello, if you're in the mission field OF COURSE God has gifted you with dance.
people asking for your stance on political issues such as israel vs palestine and "how do you feel about taiwan?" and "do you support the war?" but it's usually in a taxi so you can't piss them off and say the wrong thing.
people asking you how your trip was and walking away before you can say anything. which is why i've trained myself to say some off the wall thing to see if they're paying attention. ... they never are.
"oh my gosh! you're back! how was your trip?"
"muffin."
"oh good. i'm glad you had a good time."
the words "awful" "horrible" or if you're kind of cheeky, "shitty" also go well in there, only for the sake of reaction though because most people don't actually care.
haha my favorite i think is when i came back and people would ask me where i went and i'd tell them they'd have no idea where any of the places were because duh no one does missions outside of mexico and africa.
sorry this is long. just got back a few weeks ago and it all still makes me laugh.
also. one more. giving your testimony and using english slang and having your translator just stare at you.
ReplyDelete"god is like, totally freakin cool and has just changed my life like whoa."
"what?"
"god is good and has changed my life in big ways."
How about out-Christianing somebody else's normal trip? Someone I know happened to be going on his first missions trip the summer I was going to Europe with a former college roommate. He said something like, "You're going to Europe with your friends...I'm going to Mexico on a missions trip...."
ReplyDeleteAs for short-term missions trips, you've already talked about the notorious cool van, and van-that-breaks-down. My church has also experienced "van keys lost so somebody had to make a 24 hour round trip to bring the spare set" and the more common "van wars," where food items are thrown from one van at another. Van wars are usually started by the leaders.
Some of the funny things I've seen are Missionary Styles.
ReplyDeleteOnce as we girls were in the room changing clothing, the missionary knocked on the door and said,
ReplyDelete"Close your eyes I'm coming in."
It was pretty funny, at first.
Check out what New Tribes Mission is doing in reaching the Lost. It is an Organization that specializes in reaching those Remote Tribal Groups that have never had a chance to hear what Christ has done for them. They also offer Short term mission programs that are AWESOME including a 'real life' tribal simulation weekend that is going to be starting soon in Jersey Shore, PA, there is also a summer trip to Papua new guinea that teaches college aged folks what its like and how to learn a new culture and Language!
ReplyDeleteOh come on guys! I was TOLD I had to wear skirts at least to the knees and bring only a 1 piece. I'm 5'4...that's a long skirt. And floral-you bet. Do they make longer skirts that aren't and where can I get them? Missionaries quit telling people how to dress, then make fun of their dress. My goal is to not offend the people I'm trying to help.You know the culture, I don't. I just follow their "suggested dress" I'm broke because I didn't send out the stupid letters begging for money. I self financed. Thrift store-you betcha! In our throw away minded society you can get some nice things!
ReplyDeleteI do have to give an amen to the funny way people talk post mission trip. I was out and heard a guy talking to a family about Nicaragua. Everytime he was about to name the country there was a pause then an alien rapid sounding "Neek-a- rrrrrrragua". He kept saying it and we got the giggles. My DH said his face as he said it was equally as funny.
Hey Thanks Livesays! You rock!
I went on a youth mission trip a couple of years ago, and one of the things they'd do every night was during the nightly worship service have a segment for "Mad Props" and "Yay God." What are those? Mad Props were ways the whole group would congratulate a kid if someone else pointed out something nice they did that day. When the story was over, the whole group would punch their fists in the air and yell "Mad Props!" A Super Mad Props was when someone did something extra awesome, and the cheer involved standing up. I ended up getting Super Mad Props a lot because I helped cook and clean up after every meal and did other nice stuff. I remember being a little annoyed after a while because I was tempted to start doing those things for the Mad Props instead of for God. I was also rather sweaty most of the time, and at one point during a Super Mad Props my leader yelled, "Ladies, he's single!"
ReplyDeleteYay God was just as cheesy, but a little more holy. It was when we'd tell something we saw God do during the day. Whenever a kid finished telling theirs, the whole group would yell "Yay God!"
Another fun element of that trip was the idea of Happy Fun Bags. The team in charge tried to make us believe they thought the name was cheesy too, but I saw through that lie. The first day they had everyone decorate their Happy Fun Bag and put it in one corner of the meeting room. People could drop notes of encouragement or praise in your bag. I'll be honest, I was tempted to put gum in some people's, like the episode of the Office where they have the suggestion box meeting.
I have actually talked about this phenomenon while on a mission trip:
ReplyDeletebecoming BFF with all members of your team, then forgetting their names a few weeks later.
I still call the leader of that particular trip "Doug", when his actual name is David. It never gets old.
i didn't have time to read all the comments, so someone ay have mentioned this one: "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" the mantra of all my youth missions trips.
ReplyDeletethe comment that you cannot stay in the same town to do a misson's trip makes me want to give a shout out to our church youth leaders. They came up with the idea a few years ago to do "Madison (our city) Missions" The junior high and senior high each have a week where live at the church and go out every day to partner with community groups to serve our city and county. It is something like 900 + hours of time. They all wear cool logo T-shirts (of course) and love on our community. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the 115 (and counting) comments to this post and however many on the missions souvenirs one, I decided that I must suggest another missions related topic.
ReplyDeleteHow about missionary snobbery?
I found a sadly high number of subtle or implied self high-fives from some of the more adventurous or longer-term respondents.
I got the impression from some that they were of the opinion that a one or two week Mexico trip to "love on" some kids doesn't count as actual missions... of course God could never work in people's lives (from both cultures) in this setting and over such a short period. Even a few of the month-long intern types were cynical about the mere one-weekers.
Must missionaries have a "been there, done that, refused to buy the t-shirt on principle" attitude in order to have credibility? I understand that a short-termer's struggles with not catching a flight are tame in comparison to the daily struggles in other countries but I fail to see how it makes them a lesser Christ-follower.
Further, if a kid's is actually excited to buy a plate (or a machete) to remember this exciting and likely very spiritual journey, does it somehow makes them silly, provincial and pathetic because it isn't a photo with Desmond Tutu (no offense to the commenter who has that...that really is awesome!)? Obviously I am extrapolating those labels - and maybe exaggerating a little - but my point still stands.
I think it may be valuable for all of us to approach each person's experience remembering our first time overseas when our mind was blown and our hearts were torn open... even if it happened on a missions trip to Puerto Vallarta on spring break.
Oops, that sounded really preachy. Not a scrap of funny or feel-good in there at all. Oh well, it's dinner time and I don't feel like rewriting it.
My favorite funny missions moment happened while working a week in Mexico with other folks from church. We were walking through a barrio and could smell someone smoking marijuana--ok, a LOT of someones smoking weed. Those of us in the mission group nervously watched each other, trying to figure out if we should admit that we recognize the smell.
ReplyDeleteSandy
well, with any mission trip, lets take world changers for examply, every youth group boy or girl also know its a chance to meet other christian boys and girls from other places. wow, world changers, what a great idea. everyone signs up for these trips. the best part is when you all depart to go home. the boy and girl who "fell in love" decide they will go home and break up with their convenient bf/gf there and even though they live 5 hours apart they are going to visit and make it work. it always causes tension and drama within each youth group.
ReplyDeleteoh and also, the "sleeping quarters" for girls.. i know its always like a mad place the first day. if you are in sleeping bags on the floor, its like you have to "call your place" or there are going to be serious tears because all week you have to sleep by the girl with the head piece retainer thing and who snores instead of sleeping by the cool girls who stay up all night and "girl talk" and play games.
How about:
ReplyDeleteLearning songs in another language, only to butcher the language and the song during the presentation?
Having to eat *Everything* on your plate, so as not to be wasteful? (memories of a whole baked fish being served...head, tail and all)
My FIL went on a short-term missions trip and one of the women on the trip, the last night, wanted to thank everyone for the "best vacation ever". (She did nothing except sit around during the whole trip)
Going through customs as a missions team.
Being shell-shocked for the first 2 weeks after coming back to the states.
Not being able to really describe a mission trip's meaning to anyone who has never been on one.
in response to Matty's missionary snoobery, suggestion (sometimes spot of the money....missionary snobbery is DEFINITELY a phenomena that needs to be covered) , I just figured I should elaborate on my snobbish statements with a funny story......
ReplyDeleteSo, whilst (I like that word) in my mission country, knowing for many moons that the native guys loved anybody with hair that WASN'T jet black and fawned over them/tried to hook up with them, us, the long-termers, had become quite adept at steering away from that sort of situation......so when we had some short-termers to help us, we told them ALL about it.....
THEN, at our outreach party...
All the local guys were gathered around all of our American girls trying to get a new girlfriend.....we knew it to be creepy, but they liked the attention....so they conveniently forgot the warning we had provided to them earlier and let it continue....
So....the rest of the night....
All of the long term guys (and a few sensible short term guys) were claiming quite a few "girlfriends"...We even had a married guy having a couple! It was getting so desperate that all the long term girls weren't helping to talk about Jesus cuz even WE were running interference for the creepiness!
and THAT is what I talk about when I say that the short-termers don't listen AT ALL to the wisdom of the long-term staff :)
1. The guy who complains the whole time about how tired he is, or how he wishes he had some meat. Dude, we're in an Indian reservation in the mountains!
ReplyDelete2. Breast-feeding, scorpion-killing, and toddler peeing during the worship service.
3. Being the bait - look, white people! They came a long way to tell you something.
4. The Evangi-cube. One little girl looked at it, no lie, like it was a magical totem.
5. The guy from camp with the guitar - he comes on mission trips too.
after reading most of these comments i thought of another one.
ReplyDeletethe constant back and forth between people with different callings...
"you should do LOCAL missions. why go somewhere else to serve if you don't in your own community?"
or
"Jesus said to GO and make disciples. It's harder to reach people you are close to..."
...forgetting that we're ALL called to do BOTH.
Ok, don't know if this fits the bill, but...
ReplyDeleteIn my small Southern Baptist church, we loved us some Lottie Moon month. To the tune that there was a scary Lottie Moon mannequin in the foyer to advertise giving to the Lottie Moon offering.
Additionally, the WMU would put on Lottie Moon skits and monologues every week and pass out Moon pies at the end of each service.
At a different church, the state missions offering was the Dixie Jackson offering. During a business meeting (which could be another month's focus, seriously!), a little old man, while looking over the budget, bellers, "Who is this Dick Jackson guy and why does our church keep giving him so much money."
I heart missions, really.
this has probably been mentioned but i don't feel like reading all 123 comments :)
ReplyDeleteEvery time I go on a mission trip something happens to the van.
One day we noticed a 'bubble' popping out of the tire while at the work site. We made actually had to borrow someone else's spare to use because our van didn't have one or something. On that same day on the way home a different tire blew out. So we waited a few hours and got 2 new tires. On that same trip on the way home a different van had a blow out. This trip we drove Iowa to Mexico about 24 hours.
Another trip I was on our van broke down on the way to colorado in the middle of Nebraska. Possibly the worse place and time to break down. Most repair shops had closed but luckly we caught one before they left. It took quite a while however to get the van fixed.
I'm sure there are other stories but those are the ones I remember :)
I don't mean to be rude or offensive as I write this. I'm in missions in the UK and have been for roughly four years. One thing I've noticed on trips over here by church groups (and unfortunately some long termers too) is a trend to be patronizingly arrogant. They seem to think that because the rest of the world is different from America in taste and culture, that must mean that the rest of the world is backwards. They make snide comments even in front of the Brits and refuse to see any good.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear Jon. There is a lot to be said for missions work within the greater 48 as well (or 50, if you count those states way beyond the wild blue yonder...) Anyways, I had the experience of a lifetime doing missions work with a wonderful organization called *cough* YouthWorks *cough*. Have any of you been employed or done missions work with said organization? If so, you will develop an appreciation for the following: showers every four days, a strange fetish for footwashing, more sandwiches than you ever care to remember, a love for brown paper bags and the red apron of power, a tolerance for the extreme lack of sleep (what sleep?...), those strange black jumping mutant spider-cricket hybrids, running the halls in awkward costumes as your superhero of choice, and phrases such as "Yea God", "Mad Props", and "making purple". As an employee, my repetitive days were nothing less than a minor rendition of the movie "Groundhog Day". I truly had a blast, working seventeen hours a day as Coach Sarah of Outrageous Sports Camp (or maybe I was Nurse Sarah...bloody noses were common, as the community kids learned quickly that a soccer ball, when kicked forcefully into one's face, does in fact cause a bloody nose.) Ahh but my favorite part of this entire story is that somewhere in the process, I managed to develop an abcess on my tailbone (I know...hurl...gross...and eww...waaaay too much tmi there.) Because of this setback, *drumroll please* I had to have BUTT SURGERY in Arkansas. Yes, read that again, BUTT SURGERY. I will forevermore go down in YouthWorks history as the "back-crack boo-boo girl". Can anyone top that? Huh? I dare you. I had to drive nine hours on my stomach to get back home. Talk about a pain in the...well, you get the idea. And so goes my experience with missions work in the wonderful summer of oh eight. You, August Missions Month, rock my world. "Mad Props".
ReplyDeleteHaha, Sarah, I was afraid to name names in my comment, but Youthworks is awesome!
ReplyDeleteHey guys, I'm sorry if you got offended that we missionaries tell people what to wear and then make fun of them when they wear them! I want you to know that we appreciate it when a missions team comes to help us out in our work. I acknowledge all the hard work that goes into the preparations, the fund-raising, the traveling, etc. I also know that the majority of the work that God does during the trip will happen in the missions trip participants' heart. There's nothing like seeing a teenager learn about the God of the world, not just the good old USA.
ReplyDeletePeace out.
Hi, my name is Katy and I was once a mission trip dater. Wow, it feels good to get that out! ;)
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, my first kiss was on the bus during a church choir trip in the US (not quite like a mission trip, but we liked to act like it was). I'm definitely guilty of "The awkward bus cuddle." There's just nothing like trying to snuggle as close as possible to that older, handsome baritone, with the hard metal armrest jabbing you in the side. I can't tell you the number of hours I spent pretending to be asleep just so I could lay my head on his shoulder, while really I could never sleep with my neck arched at a -60 degree angle, taking a metal armrest to the ribs and freezing from the A/C that only comes from the bar by the window. *Sigh,* but sooo romantic it was, with everyone around watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 for 3rd time, our stomachs filled with many days worth of greasy fast food meals on the road, and our matching khakis and theme shirts. It just doesn't get much steamier than that.
That is, until his ex-girlfriend shows up to surprise us at one of our singing stops along the way. Gotta love being the brunt of jokes on the last night of the trip when all of the "Talent Show" acts are themed to your church trip romance. And we thought no one noticed.
Ahh to be 14 again. I long for the awkward bus cuddle days of summer.
"Falling in love with someone on the trip and then breaking up when you get back?"
ReplyDeleteIt seems like other people relate to this one but fo rme it usually fall for one of the chicks just to have her ignore you for the entire trip while you ignored that other girl who was into you. I am pretty sure this happened on like 7/8 of my youth group trips but maybe it was just me.
mispronouncing the language and insulting the locals...my father-in-law after sharing Christ with some Mexicans meant to say, "Dios le bendiga" (God bless you) but instead he gaffed, "Adios banditos!" (Goodbye, bandits!)
ReplyDeleteAlso...what's with the fanny pack w/ a water bottle strapped on and the passport/ticket holder necklace? it goes great with the socks and birkenstock combo. seriously, why do they dress like this???
the "only christian cd's" rule.
ReplyDeleteeven though you know everyone is bringing their "secular" music, leaders included.
How about when the "key word" for your mission trip is "flexible" as in - be ready at any time to change your plans and do whatever needs doing... except that it applies to everyone except the leaders. Who get to go out by themselves one night because it just so happens to be their anniversary. And when the local youth leader invites your whole team to come to the national symphony he plays in you say "no, but my wife and I would love to come" never mind that you have at least 3 or 4 very talented musicians in your group that would love to come.
ReplyDeleteNot bitter at all am I? And this was 10 years ago!
Email me if you want more - but we're going out of town tomorrow for a week just so you know!
i have a few, some of them are repeats, i know...
ReplyDelete-the share service: where you hope and pray that the things that are said actually pertain to the trip, and not five minutes of some crazy story that horrifies the old ladies and makes everyone that went on the trip cringe.
-the freedom of oversharing: no matter what it is that needs to be said, it is said. all bodily functions are encouraged, no topic of conversation off limits.
-the bus ride: on the way to the mission place, you only sit with who you know, and you don't talk to those you don't know. on the way home, you all sit together and nobody can remember who they didn't know before the trip anyway.
-the two girls that start out as friends but end up not because of something, shared space or a guy, either one.
-the private jokes: everything that anyone (usually the youth group) says is a private joke from the trip. it is only funny to those that went, and it gets really annoying to everyone else.
bouncing off an idea that someone else had: you can do a post on the different types of people in the share service. the one that you can barely understand, the overshare-r, the really nervous kid who can't breathe, etc
ReplyDeletelol yeah the youth share service... that infamous Sunday after the trip where you get up in front of the whole church for the first time and you realise nobody has written down what they're supposed to be saying so everyone ends up standing there looking around nervously as each kid up splutters something completely random like "it was amazing" or "I love sweet baby Jesus, and this mission trip really confirmed that" while sweating profusely because of the intense spotlight you never noticed existed until at that precise moment, secretly hating your youth pastor for not telling you about this "share service" before you decided to go on the trip.
ReplyDeleteI've got one...
ReplyDeleteHow 'bout when, at the end of the trip, they make you come up with your "hit list" for when you go home. You know, "Think of the five worst people you know... now write down their names, and stalk them until they get saved...." That's my favorite one.
"um.. hi, i just got back from mexico, I know I don't normally tlak to you, but you're on my missionary hit list."
Mission trips, ahh. I've been on them as a teenager, a college student and led them for both types as an adult.
ReplyDeleteThe 'fun' activities added on to a trip (to make them more appealing I guess). If your trip is near the coast you will go to the beach, if your trip is near a theme park you'll go there. If your trip is overseas you'll sightsee. If your trip is in the mountains you'll go white water rafting. What am I missing? Ours were called 'evening' activities and were things like dining in a local park with locals, visiting a Wednesday evening service, taking a tour of the community, going to a local museum.
Best teen mission trip company I've been with: YouthWorks! (www.youthworks.org) Got it all (good price, solid Bible teaching, fun activities, but real mission work too)
The inevitables:
Contraband (MissContra): When a girl isn't supposed to bring her straigtening iron and a guy can't bring his super slick phone there's going to be contraband.
Purple-ing: nuff said
Flight delays/cancellations (they don't call ATL the Hartsfield Hilton for nothing!)
Probably a good post would be to differeniate the kinds of mission trips people go on.
The feel good mission trip: You go sleep in basically hotel rooms, have access to your playstation and you go work during the day at painting, doing yard work, or light constrution work. In the evening you'll sing songs and hear a kindaish message. For fun you go to the beach and at the end you go to a theme park.
The feel bad mission trip: You go to a 3rd world kind of place and are lucky to sleep on bunks. You come back with a realization of how rich you really are. You are there to share the gospel and the people there end up teaching you more than you teach them about REAL faith (like praying that the rain doesn't flood their house again and sweep relatives away). Many of these are medical mission trips or something substantial like actual homebuilding is taking place. For fun you go to a local waterfall or something and at the end you are just hoping the customs agents don't steal your stuff.
The Just-Gospel mission trip: You are in a foreign country and you are there to meet the people and share the gospel. You stay with host families or in a college dorm. You could be teaching english as a secondary language, or staying with an organization. There is a lot of friendship building and while you don't see a lot of people 'saved' you are making in-roads for future generations. For fun you go to historical places and at the end your flight is delayed when you are desperately homesick.
I'd like to see Short term vs. Long term as a fight. Any way to bring Fight Club into that?
That's all the ideas I've got for now! Good luck :o)
holding hands (w/interlocked fingers) during prayer time with a guy you have a crush on, but wouldn't dare date...
ReplyDeleteor maybe it's just me... :)
how bout a post on the "fun day" always tacked on to the end of the mission trip, and how someone always finds a way to get lost or get in trouble or break a canoe or get kicked off a six flags ride or shows up two hours late at the meeting point... not that I've experienced this or anything... I'm just saying...
ReplyDeleteGotta say something about the "flirt to convert" missiology.
ReplyDeleteHow about the dress code, where everyone dresses more modestly than ever and when they get back home they're back to wearing their tube tops again.
ReplyDeleteOr how about becoming best friends with someone, then as soon as you get back they ignore you again. Or is that just me? Hm...
can you do a post on how foreigners know you're american when you go on a mission trip? i'm sure you can pull out some awesome accents on this one...
ReplyDeleteThe signing of the t-shirts!!
ReplyDeleteI always found it funny for the post-trip pictures. The girls always seem to take pictures with child/baby in lap (though, I have seen one where it looks like said child was grabbed off the street and forced into the beam of the camera).
ReplyDeleteumm...how about the need for us long term missionaries to make use of the one or two native words we know in our e-mail updates.
ReplyDeletekado! Bonjour! Hola! Jambo!
If we know one...we have to show it off in the subject line as if the reader knows what we are saying.
Maybe this was more for girls. Even though we were going on a trip where we wouldn't shower for days on end and where we would be dressing in clothes we didn't mind getting dirty, there was always an unspoken challenge to be missions' trip chic. What clothes you brought were important - no loose, baggy clothing, you had to bring something that would show off the muscles you were building.
ReplyDeleteHair was a big one too. Who could best style their unwashed, greasy hair when there weren't any mirrors available. I finally brought one on a trip, and I still couldn't attain cool missions' trip hair. Mine was short, greasy, and prone to sticking up in weird places.
I'm probably going to sound totally cynical, but one scary thing that I think CHRISTIANS REALLY LIKE is what I call "tragedy tourism". That means that a group from church takes a trip where they visit a bunch of orphanages, an old folk's home, a hospital, etc, and just pray for people and take their pictures. They may not really meet any tangible needs. In fact, they may even bust in on a school and act like they are the Great White Hope, passing out candy and crayons and hugging little kids and playing soccer. But at the end of the day, who benefits from this? What good does it do to visit orphans for one day, that need long-term, tangible love and care?
ReplyDeleteMy first two mission trips, one to India, one to Africa, were basically "photo tours of the less fortunate, sprinkled with some prayer and proselytizing". It was embarrassing. I will never go on another mission trip without a concrete, tangible goal for helping local people.