I went to a wedding yesterday and it was delightful. NBA star, Shaquille O'neal was staying at our hotel. A fan of Stuff Christians Like brought me a huge bag of Skittles because I mention that candy so often and I was flawless at handing my brother his bride's ring during the ceremony. (Seriously, I was like a ring handing ninja.) All in all it was pretty perfect, except for one thing – no one mentioned the marriage triangle.
Is that old fashioned? Did we retire it? Seriously, if you guys had a conference without me and voted that we no longer needed the marriage triangle, I'm going to be pretty disappointed. Am I the only one that remembers that geometrical gem from Christian weddings?
The marriage triangle is when a pastor tells the bride and groom that they are starting their lives at opposite points on a triangle. And as they draw closer to the top of the triangle, which is represented by God, they will in turn draw closer to each other.
I wish I knew who invented that. I promise they probably did not get the royalties they deserve. Can you even get royalties on marital sermon illustrations? I hope so, because I am about to suggest a few new ones:
1. The Pentagon of God
Why stop with three sides? Let's have a five-sided version of this illustration that includes the bride, the groom, God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus. I'm not sure how you tie in the whole draw closer concept but, five is better than three. I think.
2. The Holy Heptagon
Don't know what a heptagon is? Me either. I had to look it up. A heptagon is a seven sided shape. (Look at us learning on the SCL, on a Saturday night to boot.) What about doing an illustration where you put the bride, the groom, God and all four parents on there? That wouldn't be a boring shape, would it? Having a shape where your in-laws were quietly lurking and God was somewhere in the mix too. That would be awesome.
3. The Octagon of Outrageousness
If I ever publish a book on Stuff Christians Like, please know I am going to beg the publisher to allow me to write my second idea, which is a book about people that own exotic pets. I would love to write a non-fiction book that just includes dozens of stories that go like this, "I swear, I raised that tiger like a member of the family. That it tried to drag me to a mountain hideaway and eat me is pretty shocking. I just didn't think Frank had that in him." With that in mind, why not add a tiger to the illustration. Now in addition to navigating toward God and all four parents, you have to avoid a dangerous beast as well. These shapes just keep getting better.
Hopefully these three shapes will take off and soon people across the world will be warned about the tigers that haunt marriages. Until that happens though I must forgive the two pastors that did my brother's wedding yesterday for not using the marriage triangle. Dean, pastor of the Well, and my dad both crushed the wedding and made me proud to be wearing a cummerbund. Which is hard to do, because those things are ridiculous.
p.s. One of my favorite moments of the wedding was when a guest from California said to me, "How is Stacy from Louisville doing?"
I just officiated a wedding today (Saturday) and one yesterday (Friday) - it was a busy weekend. I use the triangle to illustrate a Covenantal relationship verses a Contractual relationship. A Contract is a linear relationship between two people whereas a Covenant is a triangular relationship with God as the third party witness and enforcer. To celebrate the triangle, I often fly in my friend Telly Monster from Sesame Street who is "a card-carrying member of the Order of the Triangle Lovers, and he even publishes newspapers about that wonderful three-sided shape." (http://www.sesamestreet.org/onair/characters/telly_monster)
ReplyDeleteTime to go finish my sermon about David and Jonathan friendship's (1 Samuel 18:1-4) starring Bert and Ernie.
...and next week's sermon about the anti-Christ starring Elmo (I couldn't resist).
Don't forget that the triangle, trapezoid, or unspecified polygon N, is held together with prayer, the duct tape of life.
ReplyDeleteWell...???
ReplyDeleteHow is Stacy from Louisville?
Despite 20 years surrounded by pretty much no one but evangelical Christians, I have never, ever heard of this magic (excuse me. I forgot we don't talk about the m-word) triangle.
ReplyDeleteDid you tell them that she's still getting grief on your blog about starting her own blog so we can relish in double the delightfulness (SCL and SFL -- hey!) we receive each day.
ReplyDeleteStacy. From. Louisville. Hurry. Up. And. Publish. That. Blog. I've. Been. Bugging. You. About. Starting.
Or else I'm going to start one myself under your name and write every day about how much you adore Beth Moore and want to wear big, bold, orange, knee-length jackets over jeans, just like her.
Royalties for sermon illustrations? Hmmm ... I know a couple people who owe me some coin.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Christianne! I love reading Stacy from Loiusville's comments. I would love to be able to check in and see how she is doing by reading a blog by her, too!
ReplyDeleteThe marriage triangle rocks. How can wedding vows be really really real unless the couple is committed to the Triangle??? I just don't see it...
ReplyDeleteah the blessed triangle... thanks for the moment of hilarity... of course the shack revealed that it should actually be a circle... no sides... a common goal of love and non-submission submission to that love.... and honor and respect... let's talk about that... the circle...
ReplyDeleteThis always reminds me of the vertical/horizontal analogy that is often used. I'm sure you've already written a post on this since it is such a popular topic of conversation among speakers. Just gotta keep a focus on the vertical and the horizontal will take care of itself.
ReplyDeleteWould that be an equilateral, isoceles, or obtuse triangle? I, personally, can demonstrate linear, perpendicular, and equidistant thinking, because I'm a square.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear.....I now fear that my 36-year-marriage may be in jeopardy. I'm practically positive that there was nothing said at our wedding about the marriage triangle. (I doubt it had been invented yet, to be honest.)
ReplyDeleteI have been to many a wedding but never heard the triangle mentioned. Then again, I do get distracted easily at weddings.
ReplyDeleteSinging time:
"They are only paper tigers followin' me, in the wild imagination of the make-believe. There's a fighter, a survivor rising in me." Yeah.
So Jon, were you saying you deserved the skittles because you didn't drop the ring or anything?
I've heard of that triangle, but not at any wedding.
ReplyDeleteHow about a wedding in which the pastor uses a 30-60-90 triangle to symbolize the sacred marital union between a spiritual Christian and a carnal Christian?
ReplyDeleteVisualize God as the 90-degree angle located at the top of the triangle. The spiritual partner is the 60-degree angle located at the lower left of the triangle. The carnal partner is the 30-degree angle located way over at the lower right of the triangle.
As the two partners draw closer together, they also draw closer to God, but the carnal partner has a whole lot farther to go to get there.
I'm with Robyn Collins - Circles I've heard often...don't remember triangles at a wedding... that reference might put people in mind of the Bermuda Triangle...
ReplyDeleteyeah - Circles are definitely safer...
Looks like Stacy did start her blog, which can be found here:
ReplyDeletehttp://stacyfromlouisville.blogspot.com/
I don't think it was used in our wedding, but I'm 93% sure we learned about it in our premarital counseling.
ReplyDeleteAdam, please tell me you're referring to this, because James makes a good addition to any wedding:
http://skerrib.blogspot.com/2008/05/fairly-obvious-signs-that-im-nerd-contd.html
(the video, not my blog, but I'll put in the shameless plug anyway)
Married my dh 14 years ago and never heard of it. We had the candle ceremony where two candles are lit and we, the bride and groom, take them and together light the one in the middle. But, nope, no triangle.
ReplyDeleteAnd then, we ya die, there's the circle that will never be broken. That is always sung at funerals.
I know, really jolly...but I guess it's because lots of guys connect marriage with death....hahahahha.
P.S. How IS Stacy from Louisville doing?
P.S.S. Skittles rule!
Hilarious. It reminds me of that illustration where you and God are on opposite sides of a cavern and you have to build a bridge which somehow turns into a cross.
ReplyDeleteIt's always fun to make use of theologically significant shapes. I always thought the dodecahedron (12 sides) sounded like a council of Jews that Jesus would have been at odds with.
You know, the only thing that I could think when I read this post was...
ReplyDeleteDid anyone read 1 Corinthians 13?
never heard the triange illustration- but i like it!
ReplyDeletep.s did you seriously wear a cummerbund? i didn't think they had those anymore!
Prodigal Jon neglected to mention the two beautiful flower girls in the wedding. They just happen to be my grandgirls so I may be biased. In true female fashion they gave up swimming with the manatees so their hair would be wedding perfect.
ReplyDeleteI think it's time we toss our OLD wedding traditions!!! Be gone aging , dull, read/weep 1st Corinthians 13, then 3 candles and maybe even a camp song from where they met and he played his guitar. Sniff. I am all moved just thinking about them handing out the campfire prizes together!! BLESS the kids who got to take home the worship eagle's unhatched eggs!!!
ReplyDeleteSo I toss the gauntlet Jon!!! I totally dare you to use an exotic nature illustration. Hey, how about monkies?
Howler monkies!!! Toss in the (never heard of in my entire life) triangle blurb, but then get all deep and say something like "and as we send our newly married couple out of this sanctuary where no one is allowed to give massages, let us remember the loving sounds of the howler monkey as it lives it's happy life in the jungles where clueless 1 week wonder missionaries take pictures of big bugs".
And when everyone has finished staring at you, and closes their shock and awe mouths, then they'll realize what sounds you think the married couple will be making.
DO it MAN!!! Start an Animal Planet wedding craze!!! Live on the edge!!
BE the Louis Giglio of the wedding world!!
Stacy has a blog???? Bye!
I LOVE Stacy from Louisville's comments!
ReplyDeleteWhere is she, anyway? Come back and comment on someone commenting on YOU! :-)
HAH! i was at a wedding yesterday (6th one this summer, and yet more to come..) and the marriage triangle was used.
ReplyDeleteso perfect that i read this post today.
I was at a "shotgun" wedding last year, and the minister said, "You may think marriage is between just the two of, but really, it's a triangle. Some people in the room start to cringe because most people there don't know the bride's pregnant, but the minister's about to spill the beans. Then he explains that marriage is between the two people and God. I think the room actually sighed in relief.
ReplyDeleteAwwww man... I thought MY DAD (a pastor) INVENTED the marriage triangle. He's the only person I've seen using it. Bummer!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm fine, just fine. Rather, I was until Anonymous has outed my blog. I've been twitching and swearing all day, except for Sunday School. During the time I was a beacon of submission and the pentacle of decorum, dressed in modest floral clothing and hush puppy pumps. But other than that, my Terets kicked in BIG time. Thanks Anon.
ReplyDeleteWe are young young young parents of an 18 year old planning a wedding.
ReplyDeleteI will be needing to pass some of these gems of wisdom on to her ... we certainly want to "talk triangle" if that is something Christians like!
That triangle changed my life! My high school bf and I were at a youth ski trip (oh, there's got to be a post for that...) and I was really convicted about our physical relationship. We were all crying and talking and he gets a piece of paper out and draws it. You know? I may still have that paper! Loooooove the triangle.
ReplyDeleteBut what happens when you break up? What shape does that become? You don't really have much of a shape at all? Is that why it's more popular to use at wedding? I've never heard of it at a wedding, just youth stuff.
SHouldn't the heptagon include the in-laws? God, bride, groom, mother and father in law times 2?
ReplyDeleteWow - I wish comeone would've used the triangle thing at my wedding - that's awesome! !'ve never heard it before.
ReplyDeletePS - good job on being a ring ninja... those are hard to come-by these days.
i've never heard the triangle thing, but i was just playing piano at a wedding last weekend and they used the analogy of a cord with three strands, which is way holier than a stupid triangle:)
ReplyDeleteI'm totally with you on the marriage triangle. I know for sure it was in my pre-marital counseling, but I don't think it made a center stage appearance at our wedding. Definitely hiding under the first layer of the little scriptural sermon, though.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I may have solved your problem for bringing the bride, groom, God, Jesus & the Spirit closer together, but only if you're including 3 dimensional shapes in the list. You could change it to the Pentagonal Pyramid, so that all five points on the base come together at the tip if the pyramid.
I'm a little late *just* throwing it out there. :)
Yeah, never heard of the "marriage triangle" before.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read the title of the post I instantly thought it was some kind of redneck thing where they ring a triangle to announce to the community that the couple is officially married. Think little old farm ladies ringing a bell/triangle when it's dinner time.
And yeah, I'm originally from Oklahoma. People still do that there.
I've never heard the triangle thing. I must go to heathen weddings...
ReplyDeleteJon, the "marriage triangle" image is actually a derivative of St. Dorotheus' famous "spokes on a wheel" analogy from the 6th century. FWIW.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't have a marrige triangle, we had a marrige circle, (as in the wedding band). I'm so confused now.... ;)
ReplyDeleteOur pastor had us tear apart two pieces of paper he had glued together to illustrate what happens after a divorce. I think the papers were fluorescent pink and green-it was the early 90's. I was shaking so much my husband ended up doing most of the tearing and I just sort of held onto my corner. It sounds more depressing than it actually was!
ReplyDelete@ jennym:
ReplyDeleteWait until you see what we're doing at our wedding, in lieu of the three candles.
I'll expect my own SCL post out of it. Seriously.
(However, it's not for at least a year, so there's a while to wait...)
Our pastor just pulled out the marriage triangle... in a normal Sunday service - "the first small group: Adam, Eve, and God - in a triangle..."
ReplyDeleteOh yes indeed, it lives!