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Monday, July 21, 2008

#357. The prayer version of "You Stay Classy San Diego."

In the movie "Anchorman," Will Ferrell's news anchor character always signed off the air with the same phrase, "You stay classy San Diego." I thought that was funny and recently my friend Stan reminded me that sometimes we do the same things with our prayers.

Have you ever done that? Instead of just closing a prayer with "amen," you throw in a little spice? A little flair? Like putting a big loop in your signature when signing things, whoomp, there it is!*

I know what my prayer sign off is, "Lord, thank you for this day and everything you blessed us with." A pastor I've heard of likes to end his prayer with, "May your grace, mercy and peace be with each and every one of us, both now and evermore. Amen." I like the addition of the word "evermore" because it feels a little medieval to me, like maybe I should be holding a sword when I say that word. Is there anyway I could punctuate my sign off with that? Would it look weird if when I prayed I said,

"Lord, thank you for this day and everything you blessed us with. Evermore."

That's cool, right? Maybe not, but I had a few other thoughts on this topic.

1. Context doesn't matter.
One of the things I love about prayer sign offs is that what you said immediately before the sign off doesn't matter. Regardless of the topic of your prayer, you're signing it off with the same phrase. That's like ending the movie "Saving Private Ryan" with ten minutes of comedy from that dude Balki on the show, "Perfect Strangers." You'll throw a fancy sign off on the end of a prayer about a pig winning a blue ribbon at the state fair or a casual sign off at the end of a tragic hot air balloon mishap. It makes no sense.

2. Here comes the end.
The great thing about having a favorite prayer sign off is that your friends know that once they hear that, you're about to stop praying. As you ramble about the verbal countryside, throwing out the word "just" and repeating God's names a million times, they can all wait for those magical words that mean, "he's done." (That was a test. If you laughed at that you should be ashamed of yourself. For a real Christian there's no such thing as a "too long prayer." That's an oxymoron.)

3. Sometimes that's all you'll say.
There are times at our house when my two daughters are already trying to eat their chicken strips (roughly 87% of the food they consume), the phone is ringing, the dishwasher is running and all manner of chaos is breaking out. I admit, I'll go right to my sign off. Instead of praying, I'll just start and finish with the sign off. I didn't really realize I was doing that until today. That's like writing a letter that only has a "p.s." in it. I am such an awesome Christian.

It's weird how many prayer posts are on this site. If someone asked me what I thought was funny about the church, I doubt I would say "Prayer. Prayer is hilarious." But there it is, prayer sign offs are something funny we do.

Mine is pretty boring, but I would love to hear what you do or hear one you've listened to before at church.


*That's right, I said it.
Tag team back again. Check into wreckin, let’s begin. Party on party people let me hear some noise, DC’s in the house jump, jump rejoice. Says there’s a party over here, a party over there, wave your hands in the air, shake your derriere. These three words when you’re getting busy, Whoomp There it is. Hit me.

68 comments:

  1. I used to have a pastor that would say "Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord" at the end of all his prayers. Right there, we knew it was over.

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  2. What about the prayer openers? Will Ferrell gives a good one in Talladega Nights.

    I love the closing: "Now may the grace of God and the sweet communion of the Holy Ghost, both rest, rule and abide with us now and forevermore. Amen." CLASSIC one while I was growing up!

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  3. My dad always ends his "before the meal" prayers with "and bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies and our bodies to Thy service."

    And may I add that he begins every prayer with "Our kind and gracious Heavenly Father..."

    Love your blogs!

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  4. Wow my gosh, this is hilarious. =) But I do admit, I've had more experience with prayer openers (like...can openers? A can of worms openers? o_o). When I was in high school like 62% of the people I would pray with would open up with "Lord thank you for this beautiful day and that we can pray here together right now in this place with you with each other at school here." That was a slight exaggeration, but I thought it was pretty funny. Of course, super holy pray-ers would never open up with such a silly opening. =)

    I've noticed I always close with "God...just...just...thank you so much." hahaha.

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  5. My mom would do #3 for dinner every night, ie. her closer was the actual prayer itself

    "Bless this food and us to Thy service. In Thy name we ask. Amen"

    It had kind of a 6/8 lilt to it too.

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  6. Your right, prayer is not one of those things that I would be like "that’s funny". But it is funny. The funny part is our prayer manners. Just like people who tell the same story at every dinner party are available to poke fun at; people who pray the same things over and over are funny too.

    I admit that I rarely freestyle outlook (I am Episcopalian), but when I do I say:

    "Thank you for all you the blessings you willingly bestow upon us lord, Amen."

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  7. At our house grace was always:

    Dear Lord Jesus....

    ....In Jesus' name, amen.

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  8. I am so ashamed of myself...

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  9. my prayer sign off is, " and i love you evermore. amen"

    ok... so i threw in the "and" and "evermore" to make it sound more cool. but it doesn't work quite as well...

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  10. I don't think I have a formal sign-off, but most of my prayers do end having degenerated into something along the lines of "Heeeeeeellllllllppp Meeeeeeeeee!"

    I am a prayer warrior.

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  11. What is it about Will Ferrell movies that inspire SCL topics?

    Perhaps he is just one of our great spiritual leaders. After all, it was probably his line in Talladega Nights that made it okay to publicly do what all of us Christians had been wanting to do for a while, that is, ridicule Tom Cruise's Scientology...

    :)

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  12. Can I just say that I am just so amazed with just how you just went there and just talked about how everyone just says "just" so dang much in their prayers and it's just so amazing like to say just all the time because really people are just nervous about just speaking in public and if they just took a few deep breaths and just talked slower they'd just realize that they just don't need the word and can just have a few half seconds of silence just in between their words and sound just like a normal person instead of just like a weirdo praying.

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  13. Dori (above) might secretly be my sister-in-law because my father-in-law does the same exact thing!

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  14. Whoomp, double comment!

    Speaking of Will Ferrell, there's also the "Whoomp There It Is" tie-in to his scene in Elf where he starts dancing in the mail room. Gets me laughing to tears every time.

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  15. LOL! Funny stuff!

    Mine is...
    "I/we give you praise and glory in the name of our migthy Lord Jesus....amen! Notice the pause between Jesus and amen, its a must, it gives everyone the chance too add there verbal agreements i.e. "Yes Lord!"

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  16. My dad's version was always, "Watch over and protect us. Keep us from evil and temptation."

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  17. BALKI! I love that guy! No idea what the post said after the Balki reference because between Whoop there it is and the Perfect Strangers theme song, my head was too full for the point of this post. Also, there were no pictures of sweet baby Jesus tattoos so I am out like the Humpty Dance. Grace & Peace, d

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  18. dude. you are so right. I just got back from a camp (which, btw, had a wonderful cry night. not only were kids crying about missing each other, the dean dropped the elbow of guilt too! CD'S & Boyfriends! NO JOKE.) anyways, at this camp, the Dean, who will remain nameless, ALWAYS ended with "It's in your STRONG and POWERFUL name we pray, Amen." (emphasis added by him) Mine is "I love you. Amen." Simple, subtle, with a slightly sappy overtone.

    -Elgin

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  19. Oh, this made me laugh aloud. My dad must have grown up with Dori's dad b/c he and my grandfather always ended their meal prayers that way: "Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies and us to Thy service." They spoke the words quickly and with a southern accent, so for years I thought we actually had a digestive organ in our bodies called the "nourshum". "Bless this food to the nourshum of our bodies."

    Chrys

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  20. Have you ever noticed that when you're in a hurry to get to the food, you start saying grace with dignified calm and end up everything blurring together so it sounds like, "... in Jesusnamen"?

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  21. My kids like to end with, "and that's all, amen" when it's their turn around the table.

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  22. Ugh. I am working on changing mine up because I have in a rut.

    "For it is Your beautiful name we are so desperate to praise, amen.

    I think that is a combination of Matt Chandler's and my grandmother's... which can't be a bad thing.

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  23. okay, i had no idea the word "derriere" was being said in that song. it just seems wrong . . . not for the reference but because it's such a SMART way to say booty.

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  24. My toddler has made me notice that I say repeat of the same things. I pray with her in the car on the way to daycare and when I say, "In Jesus' name we pray" she says "Amen!"

    When I pray with her before bed, I always ask God to bless our family and I go through each of our relatives (for her benefit) and she repeats them. A couple days ago, I heard her in her crib saying, "...and Nana, and Papa, and Beka, and Mommy, and Shiloh. In Jesus' name. Amen." It was so cute! (She's almost two.)

    BTW- at church on Sunday, I raised my hands during worship and instantly started thinking about your post on hand raisers. Haha. Not a spiritual moment for me. Now I'll be analyzing prayers too.

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  25. I had a pastor that would say a normal prayer, but then sing "Come on I wanna" just before amen. I am not lying, I peed my pants the first time I heard it. And it never gets old with age.

    "Come on I wanna"

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  26. Not exactly the same thing - and maybe this has been covered elsewhere - but I used to belong to a church where the pastor would do "announcement prayers" at the end of the service...

    "And, Lord, we just [yes, just] ask you to bless the Men's Breakfast this next Saturday morning, at 6:00 a.m., in the church parlor, for all the men of the church, and also just bless the choir's Christmas cantata next Saturday night at 6:00 (and Sunday night at 7:00). And, Lord, help people to know that they can pick up cantata tickets at the welcome center in the foyer."

    (Okay, the part about tickets is a stretch, but the rest of it is pretty accurate. He basically closed out each service by praying the announcements straight out of the bulletin!)

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  27. Lets see, I open with "Dear LORD thank you for this day you've given us." and close with "In Jesus name I pray, Amen. In thinking about it, I think I do that because that's what my dad does/did when I was growing up. Did anyone else learn this from their parents?

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  28. My Dad always prayed, "Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies" too.

    I am trying to get up the nerve to end my prayers like this:

    "Thanks God, you rock!"

    As an Army chaplain candidate leading prayers with fellow future chaplains of other military branches, I have decided to end with: "Hooah, Oorah and Amen!"

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  29. The pastor of the church we went to in Orlando would close every prayer with:

    "apply to our minds that we might not grow shallow, apply it our hearts that we might not grow cold, and apply it to our feet that we might not be hearers of your word, but doers also."

    A couple weeks ago when we were visiting - he didn't say it - and I gotta tell you, I was sad. I didn't realize how comforting those words were.

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  30. I always find that prayers addressed to Jesus and ending with "in Your name I pray, amen" to be weird. Like the "in Jesus' name" formula/incantation needs to be invoked to the Son, Himself.

    But I cross myself; what do I know?

    (my comment word verification code is "xiqqhvuk." Is that a shot at me?)

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  31. One of my favorites was half-said, half sung witha kind of lilty voice:

    "And we'll be careful to give you all the praise, in JEEEEESUS name we pray, Amen."

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  32. Have only recently started reading your blog. I'm glad I'm not the only one that takes the mick out of such stereotypical Christian things! I just, find it, just, so amusing! Just.

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  33. well, not a normal prayer, but my old pastor, during his benediction, said the same thing for 15 years....

    "May the grace of God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit, be upon each and every one of us, both now and forever more.....My friends, let us go in peace and love and serve our risen Lord. Amen"

    Needless to say, me and all the kids that grew up with me in those many years would always look at each other and mouth along with him his uber long benediction as he was wrapping up the service......its doubtful that I will ever remember another benediction ever again haha

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  34. heh heh heh.. LOVE the post, cause it's so true.

    Both of my parents use "Guide and protect us always, and keep us safe. amen" -- i'm not sure who started it, but at this point, they both do it. And now that I've typed it out and thought about it, it seems repetitive! lol.

    I had a friend in college who's brother was considering going into the seminary who said that if he did become a pastor and had to do a benediction, that his was going to be "Peace out, Freak Daddy" -- complete with a thrown peace sign. I don't know if he did, but it was one of those things we'd throw out at the end of a particularly good prayer time as a group... you know, one where things weren't really serious!

    and once, I was in school and we did a prayer before lunch.. we could say our own prayer or sing a grace song (that's a post, like the Johnny Appleseed grace song) or the Lord's Prayer or could recite a hebrew prayer to bless bread (It was a private school with lots of options) -- a kid in my class decided to free form pray (pretty rare) and he said, "HEY! YO! GOD! What's UP!?!...." He's still pretty infamous for it now, 20 years later! I'm tempted to start like that sometimes, when I'm nervous about praying in a group, but I'm not always sure it would go over so well!

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  35. The post I enjoyed but I laughed out loud when you broke out Whoop there it is...remember when that was the Braves victory chant?

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  36. I haven't thought about Balki in years. Oh my goodness. That was some quality TV time in my teens!!!

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  37. to which i say... "whoomp... there it is" because ... "it takes two make a thing go ri-right.. it takes two to make it out of sight.

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  38. Ah, prayer. WHO has the grasp on such an ethereal concept? Although at even a gentle wafting of ranch dressing, MY kids will gentley place their palms on their heads and calmly and melodiously invoke "Shmah Isreal, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad".
    Cuz they're all fluent in the original Hebrew, even for Chicken Nuggets and fries.

    My current homeschool curriculam is from Tolkien's Silmarillion, but we reading it in the Elvish, as it flows better.

    I am so impressive....


    I just wannabe STACEY from Louisville!!!!

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  39. mildly off topic... went to a bible study while at university, and their unique technique was to pepper the whole prayer with "Lord..." or "Lord we just..." they kept reminding the Creator that they were actually still talking to Him. I'm sure, Jon, it just helped them focus, Jon, but Jon, can you just imagine, trying to, trying to listen, Jon, just to focus Jon, on what I had, dear Jon, to say to you....... Jon.

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  40. ps... I've just decided that someone in your readership, or perhaps a version of yourself, needs to become the awesome, edgy, Christian version of BANKSY!!!

    Google him if you are oblivious to this cool cool dude.

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  41. You need to tell me about your ebonics strategies at some point. Nothing adds more flair, than "These three words when you’re getting busy, Whoomp There it is. Hit me."

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  42. The infamous prayer sign off in my church circles is "And God bless Smudge...Aaaaamen".

    Smudge is a cat. He is one blessed feline.

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  43. Truth be told, I haven't finished reading this post. In fact, I haven't gotten past the first sentence. Ron Burgundy says, "You stay classy, San Diego," not "Keep it classy." Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I think I can go finish reading.

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  44. There's a Messianic Jewish man at my church who begins his Thursday night prayer-meeting prayers with "Good Evening, Your Majesty."

    And my little brother, when he's praying before bed says, "And please help everything go well. Amen"

    When I was teaching in the States at a Christian school, every single student would begin with "DearLordThankYouForThisDayand...." They would pause after that as if they didn't know where to go. Their prayers also ended with "...and...InJesus'NameWePrayAmen"

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  45. I have to admit, I'm guilty of "In Jesus' name," but I think that's because I went to a Christian university, where I was flat-out told that the Bible commands you to say that. The professors referenced Matthew 18:20 ("where two or more are gathered..."), and told us, "Jesus said we have to pray in His name; otherwise God won't answer you." Now that I'm writing this down, I'm realizing that it's a bunch of crap because, in Matthew 6:7, Jesus also said not to pray the same words over and over again like the pagans (presumably because the more you say something, the less it means). Now that I've actually been forced to think about this, I'm going to have to switch things up.

    On the other side of the coin, I have to be careful what I say. Prayer isn't a contest to see who can be the coolest or funniest. It's a conversation with the One who created me and chooses to sustain my life and bless me with a home, food, family, etc. I have a hard time being flippant with the person who holds my very life in His hands. I wouldn't say, "Yo, what's up, homedawg?" to my boss or my husband, so why would I say it to God? (Of course, I would and do say, "Hey," "What's up?" and "Peace out," to those people, so those might be acceptable in prayer.) I guess my point is this: We aren't to say the same things over and over. Jesus makes that clear. However, after reading the comments, I get the impression that some people are trying to impress God with how funny they can be, or, even worse, impress their friends with how cool they can talk to Jesus. Just remember the Pharisee who prayed on the street corners because he wanted everyone to hear (this is for me too because I know I am often guilty of wanting to fit in with my "cool-praying" friends). He got all the reward he was going to get in the form of pats on the back from people who thought he was awesome at praying. God didn't care what he said because it wasn't really for God - it was for the people around him. I think we (me too) need to find that line between rote memorization and being the person who uses all kinds of phrases that they normally wouldn't. We (or at least I) need to learn to just be ourselves, to say what's really on our minds, and to not try to win the approval of God or man because we've already got the one, regardless, and we aren't supposed to care about the other.

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  46. My dad, when saying a blessing before meals, will ALWAYS end with, "Bless this food to our bodies and our lives to Your purpose. Amen."

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  47. Double posting because I have so much to say after reading comments:
    First: where DID that "bless this food to the 'nourshum' of our bodies" come from? Seriously? What book of common prayer or whatever. My dad was raised Presbyterian, I think.

    Second: little kid prayer songs are TOTALLY a post. For instance, we know probably six in our family (both spoken and sung). It's gotten so that I have to regulate grace-time with my 3 kids, because each one of them wants to sing each song. By themselves. Also, one of the prayers we know in Creole AND English, and they want to do it in both. Grace-time at the Bender household takes like fifteen minutes. (Unless Daddy's home for lunch, then he says, "Hey, let's let Daddy pray.")
    How many little kid graces ARE there? OOOH, pick me, pick meeee! I know them ALL!

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  48. I have to admit that I am guilty of "Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies and our bodies to your service." I don't even know where I picked it up. My 9 year old dd however always ends her prayers with "...and help us to be more like you." I'm not sure where that came from either, but I appreciate it every time I hear it.

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  49. I love that "bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies". Why don't we just say what we really mean? "Lord, I know these deep-fried, bacon-wrapped cholesterol bombs aren't exaclty health food, so can you magically make them healthy on the way down? Amen."

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  50. Hucklebuck, I would so totally eat a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped cholesterol bomb. Can you come cook at my house?

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  51. My normal ending is, "We love you and praise you, amen." But every now and then I admit to dropping a holy "Holla atcha boyee!"

    I bet God appreciates a sweet shout-out every now and again.

    Holla atcha boyee!

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  52. I also love the Talladega nights prayers (totally sacreligious) -- AND I love Greg Focker RN in Meet the Parents ...

    but the real reason for my comment is to give a shout out woot woot for the song reference -- as a former wedding DJ, this song was a large part of my life in the mid 90's.

    We pray freestyle in these parts, I don't think we say the same thing in closing very often --- but we do like, "okay God - do it do it."

    Long live Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller.

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  53. One thing I usually hear at meal prayers is "Bless/Thank You for the hands that have prepared this food." Which I get - good times, thanks for the people that made it. Rock on.

    But it can get awkward if it's standard. B/c once my sister made the food and was asked to bless it. She said "And God thanks for, well...me..." I assume the rest of the prayer was going to finish with "thanks for me making the food" but I lost it and couldn't continue listening. Too funny.

    I also had a minister who at the end of every class/meeting/sermon would "sign off" with some variation of:
    Go in peace
    Love one another
    Love God
    I think he stopped praying to God and started commissioning us but I always got confused....

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  54. I typically begin with "Hi, God!" and end "in Yeshua's name, Amen"

    For a while in high school I usually began "Hi God! Thank you for toes!" I don't know why.

    One of my friends *sings* his signoff - "B'shem Yeshua HaMashiach, Sar Shalom, Baruch haba b'shem Adonai, A-a-men"

    (translation - in the name of Jesus Christ, Prince of Peace, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord Amen)

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  55. My 8 year old ends every prayer with "and thank you for your son Jesus, Amen!" It's so sweet.

    I'm in a rut though. I start all out loud prayers with "Father God thank you for this day" and end all of them with "In your son's name".

    I like the "God you rock" one. I may steal that. I can't wait to see what my church thinks when I bust that out next time they ask me to pray. I'll let you know...

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  56. The prayer opener runs rampant in our house and my husband has passed it on to our children. I'd like to claim it as the "Baptist Prayer"

    "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day..."

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  57. Funny. Mine typically start the same, which I thought was cool until now. :-) "God thank you for the intersection of our lives Lord". When I write it, it looks so corny!

    My son is 8 and sometimes prays for supper. He says "GodisgreatandGodisgood, letusthankhimforourfood. Byhishandsweallarefed, giveuslordourdailybread."

    He says it as fast as he can so he can eat.

    At first I wanted to say "TAKE THIS SERIOUS!" But I think God has a sense of humor...

    (And I to get started quick too!) :-)

    Jason
    Transparent Christian Magazine

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  58. I lived with a pastor's family for a while, and every time the pastor prayed for dinner he'd end it with the "bless this food to our bodies and our bodies to your service" tag. Every once in a while that pops into my head and I start to try to say it, but it never comes out right.

    Also, my four-year-old always starts out her prayers with "Thank you for this food" even if we're praying before bedtime or after she gets in trouble. I don't know if she's just in the habit or if she's secretly hoping for a snack.

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  59. Christians DO like prayer sign-offs...

    Mine is usually something like "We ask all of this in the name of Jesus, Amen."

    I think. I know I consciously try to change it up once in awhile, but the sign-off is just so easy.

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  60. Well, I don't know of any really "catchy" sign-offs (my own are pretty mundane), but the one habitual prayer thing that is SO distracting to me are the people who interject "Father God" after every half a sentence...

    "Father God, we just come before you tonight, Father God, to enter into your presence, Father God, and Father God, we just praise you for your awesomeness, Father God, and...."

    Does He need that many reminders of His own name? I'm pretty sure He knows who He is...LOL

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  61. We were talking about this one Sunday, and our pastor decided to end that day's prayer with "Go Spurs Go!" Gotta love a joker.

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  62. Uhoh my comment got too long so I turned it into a blog post. :)

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  63. And don't forget to spay or neuter your animals.. oh wait-that's the wrong ending.

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  64. Along with overuse of the word "just" in prayers is the overuse of the word "Lord." I know a lot of people who do this, but one person we knew in high school would seriously say it every other word...it was a total crutch.
    "Lord we Lord ask Lord that Lord you Lord would Lord bless Lord this Lord time Lord together..."
    I would always have to clamp my hand over my mouth when she prayed, so I didn't burst out laughing...cuz I'm really spiritual like that:)

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  65. Actually, there is such a thing as a too long prayer for Christians. The 'Great Commission' orders us to get out in the world, implying that spending too much time in our little bubbles is dangerous to both our growth as Christians and to others' ability to accept Christ. And while you could argue that our lives should be ones of prayer, our prayers should not be our lives.

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  66. i totally laughed out loud on this one. the post got me, and the comments did too, especially "don't forget to spay or neuter your animals". i bet bob barker would be tempted to sign off with that one.
    when i was in high school, we had to tell the lunchroom cashier our lunch number and she'd charge our account. one day i went to ask the blessing and found myself telling God "6631".
    oh, and don't forget saying the same blessings over and over. we take turns in my house, and until i was 8 or so, i did "God is great" until my mom suggested i change it up, i guess so it would actually mean something. so i came up with a new one, which i've said ever since: "Dear God, thank you for this food and i ask that you bless it to our bodies and our bodies to your service. in Your name, amen". but what i hate is that i have a hard time enunciating the k of 'ask' so sometimes i think i sound like i'm cussing at God. so i try to run it together with "that" so it sounds a little better. maybe i should start saying "pray" instead. or say something new. i think 12 years is quite some time to be praying the same prayer every meal. sorry for the long comment. :)

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  67. first........i find it interesting how many people referenced Hebrew prayers (or phrases). cool.

    i have a friend (and it has spread among the group of us) who prays (at meals) "thank you for this food and let it nourish our bodies and not be stored as fat"

    i just LOVE that!...........wonder if it works? (not according to my scale, but I don't use it consistantly!)

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  68. I'm a youth pastor and my students recently told me that I always end my prayers with a "double amen" (all 4 years of ministry). I stopped doing it and now that's all they think about.

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