Put it down dude. Seriously, you know who you are. I went to camp with you. I went on a lot of church retreats with you. And some how, you even ended up living on the same floor as me freshman year of college.I get it, you own an acoustic guitar. You put stickers of bands I have never heard on the outside of your guitar case. You have an interesting guitar strap. You are moody and introspective and somehow when you combine that guitar with the three songs you know and a campfire, every girl on the planet wants to sit near you. Are you kidding me?
Back when I was in high school you knew the simple chords to Poison's song, "Every rose has it's thorn," and Bon Jovi's "Bed of Roses." But I have to believe the newer version of you has updated the material. What are you singing now, Coldplay's "Yellow" or maybe Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities?" Maybe you are doing something by the Jonas Brothers now or Maroon 5? What, you're actually singing U2's song, "One?" You are killing me.
I know what you are doing. You have brilliantly found a way to carry around the thing you are best at. (And I use the word "best" loosely.) I am very jealous. What if painting was the thing I was best at? Would it be OK if I just started carrying around a canvas and an easel and then when girls said, "Do you know how to paint?" I could casually reply, "Oh, this thing? I guess I forgot I had it with me." Or maybe I was really good at pottery and could carry around a kiln and a wheel like in the movie Ghost. Because that's what you do. You pretend that you just happened to have the guitar with you. Like the whole thing was just accidental. I know it's not though. I know.
Your instrument isn't even in tune but that doesn't matter does it dude with the guitar? Because it's more about the image, not the music. And what really gets me is that you're going to play a song at youth Sunday this year and people are going to tell you that you should be a worship leader. Hearing that is going to make you start wearing product in your hair and rocking a white belt and when I walk to class at college you'll be sitting on the steps of our dorm with a girl that is way too pretty to talk to me singing, "How great is our God." And when she asks you, "Where did you learn to play like that?" You'll respond by saying, "I just listen to my heart." You are my archenemy dude with the guitar at camp.
I am going to steal your guitar and replace it with those big hand bells and the white gloves that handbellers (or is it just 'bellers') wear. Let's see how easy it is to get girls to go on dates to Outback Steakhouse when all you have to play is a gigantic bell.
I started playing bass in high school so I could play with the youth group worship band.
ReplyDeleteIt's the only instrument that you can suck at and still be allowed to play with real musicians.
Shameful.
that is brilliant. I have dedicated my life to being a musician that is not that guy
ReplyDeleteIt's "ringers". Joining a handbell choir is one of the best ways to meet lots and lots of girls who will never date you.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are saying, Jon. I also have a dislike of guitar dude. BBQ's are another place where he tends to strike and steal the glory from my fantastic grilling!!!! Not this 4th of July, guitar guy, not this year.
ReplyDeleteahahaha... I sense a bit of bitterness here Jon, but thanks for the laughter anyways! It's even funnier because I know people like this... "That girl with the guitar" is not as common as "that guy" but I will confess that I could occasionally qualify for the title by partaking in some of the afore mentioned activities.
ReplyDeleteThis brings to mind - Haven't we all wanted to do to "Dude With The Guitar" what John Belushi did as "Bluto" in Animal House to the folk singer on the stairs? Classic!!
ReplyDeletehttp://youtube.com/watch?v=a9JYq-mXprw
Guitar Dude always played "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. Something about those high notes warbling their way across the campground. At what point does the Guitar Dude lose his appeal?
ReplyDeleteYes! This was guy all over my small Christian college campus. Every girl liked him and every guy wanted to be and/or beat him. Apparently guitars make you more of a spiritual guy. I wonder if Jesus wore a guitar to get people to follow him around? Like, when Matthew talks about Jesus teaching up on the Mount, maybe what he really meant was Jesus was playing guitar up on the Mount, playing "Awesome God" & "Days of Elijah". Cause no one can resist that stuff.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I went for the euphonium players. =)
We went to a church once where my husband was the worship leader. There was this moody looking youth who always sat on the front row before services playing his guitar as if he was waiting for my husband to ask him to join the worship band. That didn't happen to say the least and I find people like this make me feel awkward and uncomfortable. BTW I play guitar, but I never carry it around with me, maybe that is a guy thing.
ReplyDeleteAh, Anonymous beat me to it: it's "bell ringer" or just "ringer". I know this as I am an alternate ringer in a bell choir. Maybe I'll make it to the big leagues one day...
ReplyDeleteOh, and did you mention guitar dudes will spend more time tuning their guitars than playing them? Not because they are tone deaf; no, actually it's a sign of how sensitive they are. I hear the chicks dig that.
Hey now, hey now.... handbells can rock.. it's a stretch, but they can be known to accompany the worship eagle as it swooshes from the balcony to the altar...
ReplyDeleteand for the older blog readers... it was "Stairway to Heaven" that guitar dude was pickin'
that was funny!
ReplyDeletethat guy was always at camp.
and he lived on the second floor of my dorm.
This post makes me think of that scene from Starsky and Hutch movie where Owen Wilson tells Stiller to bring in his guitar in 5min. Wilson's reaction when he brought it in nailed "that dude with the guitar's" reaction.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the Starsky and Hutch movie and since this is SCL, I thought I would drop one of my favorite lines - "Dig this man: 'To err is human, to forgive is devine.' I believe that was God, the greatest Mac of all." - Huggy Bear (Snoop)
I have a confession. I was that guy. but forget stickers of bands you don't recognize... I rocked guitar-case stickers with such philosophical gems as "No Jesus, No Peace:Know Jesus, Know Peace" and blatant marketing rip-offs where the Krispy Kreme logo instead proclaimed "Kristis King."
ReplyDeleteYeah. I was that guy. I apologize. But in my defense, my wife didn't even know I played guitar until like the 2nd month we dated. Because there is a wonderful myth out there that the guitarist gets the good, godly wife.
The guitarist gets a flock of freshmen girls who aren't mature enough to know that he is not as godly as he lets on. Then, once they mature to the point that they are remotely datable, they are no longer interested in the guitarist, who has also matured to the point that he realizes the flock of girls is not all it's cracked up to be...
So break out the guitar on the 4th or fifth date, where it is a perk, and not the basis of the short-lived infatuation.
Daggone, where's the love? :) I hate it when people ask me to play, or assume that I will, because I feel like I'm being a guitar guy. I just bring the dang thing and hand it to someone who can really play and let HIM be guitar guy.
ReplyDeleteBWAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! dude, if you could do it, you would. don't even try to say you wouldn't. there is no other way for us to get girls, THEREFORE, we mack on their earholes with our silky smooth sound.
ReplyDeletedon't hate the players, hate the game.
I'm pretty good at sex ......
ReplyDeletethis post kinda reminded me of the "bud light real men of genius" songs :)
ReplyDeleteanyway, that struck a chord with me (like my guitar reference? haha) cuz i started learning guitar in high school because one of my friends was "that guy" ... and yes. all the girls flocked to him when he played.
I'm amazing at gutiar but whenever I like a girl I make sure she doesn't know I play. Relationships based on guitar playing infatuation will only lead to more sappy guitar songs :)
ReplyDeleteI hate the guitar. Know why? Cause it replaced the banjo. There isn't nearly enough banjo love. As soon as Hee-Haw went off the air it was all, "We don't like banjo!" and "We oppose inbreeding and fried chicken and Minnie Pearl" and "People should bathe every day". I say WHATEVER! Society has just gone downhill and I blame the guitar.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't even get me started on what happened to the washboard.
There's so much I could say but I have to go clean the coil in the still....
Jon, the current guitar guy spearheads the aural assault with an even breathier version of "Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer. Also, I was astonished at the number comments defending handbellers, or "ringers" as they apparently like to be called; although quite honestly one comment would have surprised me.
ReplyDeleteIf the handbellers are busy reading your blog, who is watching their multitude of cats and or ferrets?
-your brother Bennett
You're just jealous. Being "the dude with the guitar" at a college retreat helped me start a conversation with a pretty girl. And now we've been married for over 10 years.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I was a somewhat rebellious Christian in college who played electric guitar exclusively, playing blues and classic rock. I had to watch the dude with the acoustic guitar every week at Campus Crusade for Christ, and wallow in my jealousy because he got all the attention, and because the P&W band didn't play any Led Zeppelin, so I couldn't show off my skills. I used to see him outside the dorms too....couldn't stand that dude.
ReplyDeleteI went to college with a lot of guys like this and I must admit I was taken in by their guitar playing powers. Ha ha! Then I got to know them and realized that they weren't as spiritually mature as I thought they were. Beware that just cause a guy totes a guitar and sings to Jesus in your presence doesn't mean he is the spiritual rock star you think he is. Now, when I see the guitar toting dude I make sure there is some spirtitual maturity behind his mad guitar playing skills.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I just sent this post to my best friend because at our Christian college these guys were everywhere! We used to say that they knew exactly 3 songs: one praise and worship song, one Dave Matthews song, and one song they "wrote about my perfect girl." This absolutely made my day! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWhat about those guitar guys at campouts? We tried to make ours sit as close to the fire as possible so he'd only play a song or two before he got "burned out"
ReplyDeleteBluefish TV has a great clip that pretty much goes with your posting called "Mr. Likes to Play Worship Music Guy." You should check it out.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtube.com/watch?v=2G2zMRG8VL0
But for some reason, I don't think this guy would become the type of worship leader that would wear a white belt and product. He's a bit nonconformist. He would be the guy that only leads worship at camps and doesn't wear shoes or something when he sings.
My freshman year of college there was a guy who always hung around our group of girls with his dumb guitar. He tried to impress us by his rendition of Oasis "Wonderwall" by singing "Jesus, he is the one that frees us...and after all, he's our wonderwall."
ReplyDeleteTo this day I still don't have a clue as to what he meant. I don't think he ever did find a wife either.
I've been blessed to belong to churches where most of the young musicians were relatively poor singers. I'm a pretty solid singer. No one wants to hear instrumental guitar - at least not most people. You needed me guitar guy. You needed me. And truth be told - you were the Joey Fatone to my Justin Timberlake. No one came to see Joey - at least not only Joey.
ReplyDeletelol very funny ... ;-)
ReplyDeleteI always called the hand bell ringers the "ding-a-ling choir". They never seemed to like that name ;)
ReplyDeleteDuring the first week of my senior year at a small Christian university, I had the opportunity to witness a late-night, impromptu worship session. The guitar dude had teamed up with the saxophone guy, who was standing on top of a picnic table outside of one of girls' dorms. Sax guy wailed away as a dozen or so freshmen girls gathered around.
ReplyDeleteYou could almost sense the girls' fervent prayers that one day they could lend vocals to the group as Mrs. Sax Guy or Mrs. Guitar Dude.
Now that was funny!
ReplyDeleteI know "handbell ringers" doesn't get used in the same sentence with "rockin" very often, but anyone from North Carolina can tell you about the raleigh ringers. They rock the best "free bird" ever. No lie. You haven't heard handbells unless you've heard them. Also, as a former ringer(not with them)I'm just a little, eensy bit sad about your reference. Just a little.
ReplyDeleteMelissa in Raleigh
Melissa in Raleigh
This was probably one of the most hilarious posts you have ever posted. I am laughing so hard!
ReplyDeleteWell Bennett, after typing and deleting many comments that were decidedly not in the manner that Christ would prefer, I will simply say handbells are heavier than you think. I leave you to put the pieces together.
ReplyDeleteOk ok, I always fell for that dude with the guitar at camp. I loved when he would bust out with "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls and we'd all stumble through the words until we got to the chorus. Good times, dude with the guitar at camp. Good times.
ReplyDeleteDude with the guitar exists in far too many social groups, unfortunately. In my city (we have 3 colleges), he spends a lot of time walking around the parks near campus, meeting girls and playing especially lousy music. Weird thing is, the pretty girls that start hanging out with him, end up aging at 2x, and by the time they hit 25, they may as well be 40. Yet a fresh supply is always ready & waiting for him...
ReplyDeleteOk, so I'm a musician and have been leading worship ever since I was in 8th grade. I had my guitar at camp, but I only played it when leading worship or jamming with a friend in the cabin. I always saw that guy who carried his guitar all over the place really just to get attention. the guitar is to him what a chihuahua is to spoiled blonds in Hollywood.
ReplyDeleteHere's a link to a humurous video on the subject:
http://www.bluefishtv.com/ProductDetails.aspx?cid=1005&id=2048&f=s2a&cc=1017&csc=0&ldr=0&s=
I believe it's "ringers".
ReplyDeleteHa. I just saw that someone just posted that in the third comment down. I am officially a loser. :)
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteSo I am a little embarressed to say this, but yeah....I'm totally one of those girls that flock to guys with guitars. I am a music major and I play piano and stuff, so maybe that lets me off the hook because I can just blame it on my own musical obsession, but really...from mission trips to praise bands, I always seem to be around "guitar dudes".It's like some kind of magical mind control...I see your average guitar guy and I'm like "Hmmm...what wonderful song will he play next?" or "I wonder if I can get him to play that knew Shane and Shane song..." But just to relieve you a bit, I never dated the guitar guys, their too emotional and needy. Actually I'm engaged to a architecture major. :)
ReplyDeleteahhh yes... i dated that guitar guy. once the music fades, theyre really not that great.
ReplyDeleteFREEEEE BIIIIIIRDDDDD........
ReplyDeleteyou ain't seen nuttin' til you've seen Campanile ring.......
they are the equivalent of the "guitar guy" of the handbell world..
It's more subtle if you play the piano. You don't have to carry it with you, but you arrive at some place, and hey presto, there's an old out-of-tune piano. As you play a few tentative chords, people start asking you if you play, and you say "a little bit". When they beg you to play something, you tell them you have no current repertoire, and anyway, half the keys on this piano don't work, it'd be too difficult. Eventually you give in and the ladies swoon. Not quite as romantic as a guitar, but if you play it right, you can get a similiar effect
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteAlso, even if his guitar isn't tuned correctly, he will spend 5 minutes "tuning by ear"....impressive, huh? the girls sure think so...:)
My friends in college referred to the handbellers as the ding-a-lings.
ReplyDeleteJust a suggestion.
I remember this guy....
ReplyDeleteThey still haven't found his body.
:)
Is this post another example of "if only"?
ReplyDeleteI went on a date once w/one of those guys. We went to a park where he just happened to have his guitar in his car. I fell asleep in the middle of one of his incredibly long songs....he never called me again. That's one way to lose one of those guys.
ReplyDeleteSome of these comments really go hand in hand with post #1 - taking secular things and making them "christiany."
ReplyDeleteI remember guitar dude at camp singing "You're body's a wonderland...after we're married."
I went to youth camp as a leader a few years back, and one afternoon, to pass the time, the guys all got out their guitars and hung out in the area outside the dorms. They were having a contest to see how many girls they could get to come over to them without speaking to the girls directly.
ReplyDeleteWhat's more, these guys weren't just the kids, they were also our fellow youth leaders.
The female leaders got the guys, particularly the youth pastor (yes, he was involved) back, though, because we convinced the head of the camp to go talk to him and tell him they'd been getting complaints and that he was in big trouble. (He wasn't really, we just got the camp director to agree to torture the guy a little.) Ah fun...you should do a post during camp month about how the youth leaders themselves can't behave, much less the campers.
I admit, I am one of those girls who is attracted to the dude with the guitar. But only if he can play more than three songs and can sing well. Oh yes, and he has to be good-looking. I have high standards.
ReplyDeleteThere is still hope for the musically challenged, though. At one camp I went to, they had tomahawk throwing. (I know, where were the responsible adults?) Knowing how to land a tomahawk blade first into a stump is waaay more awesome than knowing how to strum a few chords on a guitar. Really. In fact, I might add that to my list of qualities that my future husband must have, right up there with "must score less than 10 on Jon's worship leader test."
shoot. I'm sort of the guitar guy, or at least I was my senior year of high school, but I've never known the kinds of songs that girls liked to swoon over. At least I suppose so, because I've never had a positive response from a girl because of the guitar.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter, because I never played for anyone other than myself, or any reason but the music (and of course Jesus, or whatever).
I still play sometimes in social situations when I'm nervous and shy and don't feel like talking to anyone, but it's still all about the music (or Jesus, or whatever).
Jesus totally had a guitar. and wore chucks.
ReplyDeletedude.. I work at sandycove ministries ((plug)) and our summer camp staff have arrived and we not only have one.... but THREE guitar players....
ReplyDeleteyes that's right.. they all compete
Bitter much, Jon?
ReplyDeleteWell, me, too.
"guitar guy" was always my little brother. needless to say, that made completely un-hot and a lot more annoying.
ReplyDeleteI have known several "guy with guitar" types... and this made me laugh quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteconfession:
ReplyDeleteI was that guy at camp.
It took someone saying, "Dude, quit being THAT guy" when I was 17 to change that.
well, the reason that most guitar guys can play all the recent songs on the radio lies here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
but really, it's true. 80% of all singles that end up on the radio are made up of 3-4 chords. and they're the SAME 3 or 4 chords.
what ever happened to real picking? i agree with the banjo person up there ^^^ ?? except that picking on a guitar is great, too.
but you know what's strange?? at my college, the only "guitar guys" are the hippies that sit in the grass with their legs crossed, no shoes, long hair and long beards, with hippie girls who wear long skirts and braids every day. i don't see the "guitar guy" except for the fact that his band plays at any huge function anywhere in the college town. i met him at a governor's scholar thing the summer before my senior year in high school. the girls LOVED him. me, not so much. then we ended up at the same college, and his band is HUGE there. they played for our ONE Campaign reward concert where Bono and Daughtry sent us a video greeting. they play at church functions all over. i can't turn around without seeing a flyer for guitar guy's band.
oh well...
btw, that video is great! i REALLY recommend you watch it on youtube. called Pachelbel Rant.
hahahahahahahaha - I cannot stop laughing at this! I'm pretty sure this is a universal theme, and as such is universally mocked and loathed. Thanks for this post!
ReplyDeleteI know a guy, a ringer, and he met the most amazing girl. And we've been married twenty-six years now.
ReplyDelete"Tower Captain" - a world title of cool!
We had a guy like this in my old high school. He would serenade you while at lunch. But because it wasn't a Christian school, people mostly just hated him and would yell at him to go away. He made me and my friends want to throw up our "poorly disguised as food" school lunches.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA, you have summed up how i feel about the guitar guy perfectly. Dude, if you don't win a pulitzer (sp?) prize, its a crime
ReplyDeleteI have a heinously embarassing confession to make: I lived on the second floor of my dorm sophomore year, and the girl in the room directly below mine was dating the guitar guy. He would come sit outside her window and woo her for hours on end. My roommate and I used to stealthily open our window and sit on the floor underneath so he couldn't see us listening in. We wished we lived on the ground floor and/or dated guitar guys because, at the time, we thought it was the sweetest thing ever.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, I now think it would be hilarious to pour a pitcher of ice water on him, though. Just to see if he would keep playing as if nothing had happened, trying to keep his cool (no pun originally intended, but now that I think of it...)
Haha. You only sound a little bit jealous. It's true, though. Guitars are girl magnets. When I was younger, musicians seemed way cooler than any guys I knew.
ReplyDeleteI am DYING here....in college my roommate and I called them "guitar boys" and made a list of the ones whom we would not throw up if they kissed us....yes, the list was long....lots of guitar boys at a baptist university....
ReplyDeleteOh boy...that was an awesome post! I've known several "guitar dudes"...I find them a bit annoying. :p
ReplyDeleteGuitar is great, and if a guy can play guitar without being "the guitar dude" that's awesome! :)
By all the comments ... you have a gift man!
ReplyDeleteHil-reakin'-arious!
What about the chick who sings all the time ... when no one is listening!
This video is titles
ReplyDeleteMr. Likes to Play Worship Music Guy to Get all the Chicks Guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G2zMRG8VL0
I know this is a little late, but i thought it fit well.
And, yes i am one of those guitar guys at camp, but i ALWAYS play in tune! And, well, i never learned Maroon 4 or GnR. i played alot of worship and well, Christian bands.
Allan
I will also admit that I always gravitated toward the guitar guys. There is just something mesmerizing about a guy and a guitar. But really, the reason I think I like them so much...they remind me of my dad, the original guitar guy! Dad you rock!
ReplyDeleteI would have been guitar guy but I can't sing. I could only be accompaniment guy and there's not much of a call for that at camp.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding? Put it down? Accoustic guitar dudes are the best!
ReplyDeleteYikes ... how can you write about my life ...
ReplyDeleteOther than the fact that I didn't have rock band stickers on my guitar case, and actually played a lot more Dallas Holm and Pat Terry Group and Love Song stuff than I did rock music. Oh, and I did a lot of my own composition. The chicks really dig that ... especially when you're a good writer.
:)
I laughed so much I snorted. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteOK, I realize this is an older post, but I just had an epiphany.
ReplyDeleteJon, you stole my guitar at church camp in Gulf Shores, MS in the summer of 1998! Admit it! Yes, I was "guy with the guitar" all week at camp. Yes, I had some "camp girlfriends" because of said guitar. Yes, I was singing ridiculous acousitic versions of any number of songs that I am now ashamed of. But stealing my guitar? Seriously. Shame! I loved that guitar! It was my first guitar! And you stole it, because you are a hater.
I'm so angry with you right now.
You owe me a new guitar.
Or an eagle.
Hater.
Now I know where I went wrong. When I went to camp back in the 60s I brought a ukelele along. It was perfect for all the 60s style worship songs like Kum-Ba-Ya. Probably wouldn't work for all the Tomlin/Redman stuff because it's not easy to play those nebulous sus4 chords that just slide up and down the neck. I must have irritated someone because I came back to my cabin one day and someone had stepped on my ukelele. So later I switched to piano and always had camp girlfriends, but the problem was portability. I could only have girlfriends in the chapel or the dining hall, but not in the woods or the beach. And I couldn't play piano at the emotional "faggot service" we would have at the end of each week of camp. You know, where you throw faggots in the fire. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you went to church camp WAY TOO LATE.
ReplyDeleteDude! You are such a hater!
ReplyDeleteI'm just saying, in High School, I was the girl who was always in love with the guys who played the enormous handbells in our handbell choir. I don't think I was cool enough to be infatuated with the guitar guys, of which we had about 13 during all of my youth group years.
ReplyDelete@creativematt: That may be true with a band with a low level of musicianship. Bass players are actually the heart of a solid band. But it is true that you can play acoustic guitar or even keyboard for a decent band and not be that good!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I guess I have become one of those campfire/bbq guitar players. After quitting music school and becoming a software developer, I still needed to play somewhere...
Totally with you there, Jon. What the heck? I can't stand to be around the dude with the guitar. And what's with the walking everywhere while playing it thing?
ReplyDeleteI got sabotaged by this guy about a month ago. I play guitar, but even when I take my guitar to church outings, I still get one-up'd by the other dude with the guitar. It was Jack Johnson tunes that beat me out this summer.
ReplyDelete"That dude" happens to be my brother, who admittedly is now a darn good singer/songwriter, but darn it - I swear he's the cause of me being a social outcast at high school - computers and heavy metal were not the problem - it was THAT guy!
ReplyDelete"That dude with the guitar at camp" also known as the "Worship Wooer." He knows what he's doing. He knows.
ReplyDeleteI worked as a camp counselor this summer, and during Junior High week-- there he was-- the worship wooer on the prowl, walking across camp as he played his guitar.
I think it's a proven fact that worship-wooing leads to purpling.
It is your destiny. If you only knew the power of the Acoustic Side.
ReplyDeleteJon, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined guitar strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring beautiful acoustically driven, female endearing, overly emotional praise and worship to the galaxy.
Give yourself to the Acoustic Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. So, you have a sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Acoustic Side... then perhaps she will...
The alliance of Hatin’ on Acoustic Guitar will die. As will your friends. Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your Acoustic Guitar. Strike me down with a moving 80’s love ballad and your journey towards the Acoustic side will be complete!
You underestimate the power of the Acoustic Side. If you will not play, then you will meet your destiny.
… from the acoustic guitar guy you went to youth group with in high school.
Forget Guitar dude, what about piano girl? Their mantra: "I know Fur Elise and The Rose but I mess up every 7 measures and it sounds bad so I switch to "chopsticks" or "Heart and Soul" because I don't know any other songs. But I can't play those songs either, so I spend hours trying to get them right whilst annoying the many people who have to sit in the same room while they figure it out.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to guitar players...but oh so true according to my vast and varied experience. And now that my hubby is a guitar playing man...I swoon. ;)
ReplyDeleteI tried to be that guy for a short time, during my first year at university. You may laugh, but at least I was a music major! I never attracted many Christian girls, but that might be partly due to the fact that I played classical guitar music, and read existentialist philosophy.
ReplyDeleteActually, one time that did lead to a flock of girls surrounding me at summer camp. However, they did so because they wanted to vehemently dissent to my reading existentialist philosophy. Ironically, I found the book I was reading at the time in my Sunday School classroom.
My main instrument was the clarinet, though. Can you imagine a guy with a clarinet sitting on the steps outside the dormitory, playing 'Clarinet a la King' by Benny Goodman? I never tried it, but I doubt it would work, anyway. Why is it that the 100 guys with real talent are ignored, while the few who decide to make sensationalists out of themselves are glorified? Maybe it's because they're all in the music hall practising, instead of strumming chords on the front lawn.
In our defense, some of us dudes with the guitar actually carry our guitars around so because we like to play. Attention getting is not the reason. And some of us are really trying to become spiritually mature. Although the girl thing is nice, it's not necessarly why we carry around the guitar. Thank you.
ReplyDeletei laughed out loud the whole time i was reading this! hysterical! but it really is true. we had like 5 of these guys in my youth group(although only after one was this way for about a year) it only worked for a little while...and then we'd all roll our eyes and laugh at the new girls that fell for it. haha
ReplyDeletejon, this seems personal. you may want to try to move on from whatever "dude with the guitar at camp" did to you. you are an adult now (or supposed to be..) you can get past this! haha
Somehow I think that dude with a guitar at camp wouldn't make it as a youth minister if he knew more than 3 chords and listened to Yngwie Malmsteen or Stevie Ray Vaughn.
ReplyDeleteWhat's always really funny to me is when you go to camp and there's TWO or more of the guitar guys there. Suddenly their mystique is erased like a double negative. At least for the first day. And then they try to act super spiritual like it doesn't bother them that they ran into their "dopplegangar" and they end up all getting together at a picnic table and playing songs together.
ReplyDeleteThen it's survival of the fittest. Whichever dude sings the loudest and tries to Stevie Wonder his voice the most gets to lead.
VOMIT. It's like living in an episode of The Office. The awkwardness for everyone within a 2 mile radious is unbearable.
I'm with ya bro. Totally with ya.
This made me laugh more than anything you've ever written. Everything you've written is 100% true about this dude.
ReplyDeleteI married this "Dude with the guitar at camp". They always stay the same.
We are divorced now.
He's still the same.
I met and DATED the guitar dude from camp! ROFL
ReplyDeleteOh man for like 9 months lol.
I fell for it! good times good times.
I'll admit when I started playing guitar it was to impress the ladies but then I found that I really enjoyed the instrument and have been playing for several years now. Don't blame the guitar dude though people.. it's subliminal messaging that has the guys thinking that if they play guitar they will woo the women and has the girls thinking that the guys with the guitars are cool. Well.. i'm not cool xD but I do love my guitars and I do keep the cheap one in my back seat for when I get a break at work.. helps me relax :) honestly though I can't see the problem with anyone who plays guitar at a social function unless they just really aren't very good..
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a spoof I saw once:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G2zMRG8VL0
I swear this is EXACTLY what you are talking about!!!
Wait, Sarah! _I_ play[ed] the euphonium! Is it too late for us?
ReplyDeleteHaha, I've played the euphonium for about 9 years now, and I want to learn the guitar because lugging my horn around the campfire isn't exactly practical. Course, I don't need to worry about getting the ladies, since I'm very happily married.
ReplyDeleteI'm a dude that plays guitar, except it has the oposite effect, seeing I play in dropped tunigs all the time. hmmm. And I hate playing acoustic guitar in the open, it makes me feel awkward and trying hard to impress, which I hate the feeling of.
ReplyDeleteI really hate this guy too, spesh when he only plays the same song. I was at a split night once (guys go one place, girls go another), and there was a guitar out, and I swear four guys all had a turn at the guitar playing THE EXACT SAME SONG INTRO, OVER AND OVER. I mean, come on, it wasn't even that great a song as well.
hilerious man, my boyfriend was one of these guys but could actually play so that's not quite this guy...But I see this type at every Christian festival. Why do us girls fall for them constantly?
ReplyDeleteThere is of course one guy that Guitar Dude can't compete with ... and that is Djembe Guy... fear me Guitar Dude ... I own you ...
ReplyDeleteI was that guy.
ReplyDeleteI was humbled when I met my wife, and when I told her I played guitar, she said, "all guys play the guitar." Pretty funny.
baha~ thats so funny! i totally saw that guy at camp! the girls always crowded him, so i never got a good seat *cough* :}
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time to read your blog! So so so good! I'm glad I started my morning with this.
ReplyDeleteThere were a few guys like this on EVERY youth group trip ever. It seemed that our worship pastor required one or three of the guys to bring their guitars so they could "lead worship". Leading worship was fine...but it was at the campfire at night, playing those worship songs in a closer setting, that the girls came to flock. I was one of those girls for one summer. Then I just sang because I loved to. The guitar dudes will never leave.
ReplyDeleteGuitar Guy is lucky - he's perceived as sensitive and caring and hott. Guitar Girl is not so lucky - everybody just assumes that she's probably a lesbian.
ReplyDeleteI would know.
In addition to all aforementioned appearances, Guitar Dude assumes that beautiful sunsets at the beachfront park will be made all that much more perfect by adding his perfect soundtrack (often teaming up w/ Djembe Dude, and Digs Her Own Vocals Girl). He assumes you feel the same, and will sing loud enough to drown out any thought you might have to the contrary...
ReplyDeleteI think half the people at my youth group fit this description. x]
ReplyDelete