I have a few friends at one of the largest Christian bookstores on the planet. They produce a lot of the Vacation Bible School materials that most churches use. I've never asked them how they come with their VBS themes, but I am fairly certain they would have to kill me if they told me.I think there is a secret bunker 10 stories below the earth's crust that serves as the command center for the VBS Theme Team. Once a year, the magic rings they all wear start glowing and they know it's time to travel as fast as they can to the hidden lair to create new themes.
And getting there is not easy. You have to throw away a copy of Harry Potter, the Da Vinci Code and the Golden Compass in an unmarked trash can. An unmarked van will then throw a bag over your head and spirit you away. They blast Carman music on the ride so you are disoriented and make you eat bootleg cookies for energy. When you finally get there, you have to walk through a long cave using one of those candles they give you at the Christmas Eve service as your only source of light.
Once inside, you find yourself in a room with 6 other people (you make person #7 which is God's favorite number by the way). On the wall, you find the acceptable VBS categories:
1. Water
You might be in the middle of Ohio, but we want you to feel like you are floating in an veritable ocean of awesome. Real themes include "WaterWorks Park, Tropical Luau, Outriggers Island, Beach Party."
2. Wild West
It's buckaroo time. We love cactus. And the desert and gila monsters and cowboy hats and spurs and horses. If you listen closely, you can almost hear God whisper, "don't eat the glue at VBS" when tumbleweed rolls by on the high and lonesome sandy plains. Popular themes include, "Cactus Canyon and Rancho Avalancha."
3. Power
I need to do a post on those weightlifting speakers called something like "Team Nitro," but in the meantime, power is one of our favorite things to explore at VBS. I kind of hope that when I open my church, Red Bull will sponsor VBS. And if they do, I might have to use one of these real themes, "PowerZone Sports Camp, Power Lab or Chosen Champions for Jesus."
4. Pun-tastic
The other day while scooping a massive vat of beets for a charity project, I said something like, "Man, nothing beets serving others." That is horrible, so by no means do I criticize VBS for using puns. But I have to mention them. This year's batch includes "SonWorld Adventure Park and Son Harvest County Fair."
5. Curve Ball
This is the category I love the most, where we just come up with something wild that doesn't make a ton of sense at first glance, but is still honestly fun to little kids. One this year is "Holyland Adventure: Jerusalem Marketplace." I'm sure they are using that word differently than me, but "marketplace" makes me feel like I might be making bracelets all week to be sold at the final VBS evening event. And who can forget the bayou themed "Crocodile Dock, where fearless kids shine God's light." Because swimming with Christian crocodiles in the swamp is ... I got nothing. But my favorite this year is Dino Detectives, which I think is a cross between Encyclopedia Brown and Jurassic Park and the show CSI. Wouldn't it be awesome if one of the dinosaurs kept taking off his sunglasses like David Caruso does on that show and said things like, "This t-rex wanted to be an all star, but in this pit, it looks like he became an 'all-tar.'"
I am honestly thrilled that creative folks out there are figuring out new ways to connect kids like mine to God and the Bible. From Crocodile Dock to the desert and "Walk it Out" and back again, kudos to you for some great work.
If I ever do have a church, our VBS is probably going to be called "Bounce." I'll outfit all the kids with those big balls you can crawl inside and roll around in. I'll throw a Bible inside and some goldfish snacks and probably some glitter. Then we'll just roll them around for a solid week. They might not come home with a Popsicle stick craft, but when else in your life will you be able to spend a solid week inside the safe, fun confines of a big rubber ball, bouncing down hills, eating treats and reading the Bible? That's weird, isn't it?
p.s. Check out the limits today on 97secondswithgod.com
38 comments:
if I don't have to use popsicle sticks, i will be glad to help at your VBS........as long as i get some orange drink to go w/ the bootleg cookies.......
Eep. Isn't 'Dino Detectives' just asking for a schism? Christians like their reality in plenty of different ways, and they're not averse to discerning anyone who disagrees...
I might have just missed it but I'm surprised you didn't mention this years favorite "walk it out" which is a VBS for African American churches.
Jo -
Thanks for the heads up. The sites I researched did not mention "Walk it Out." They mentioned "Chosen Champions for Jesus" which is a targeted program but not the one you mentioned. I added it to the post. Thanks for the info. I appreciate that
Jon
"Walk it out?" Is that anything like "Hug it out, b****?" I can only assume that they'd change or omit the last word, though...
Sometimes I don't like that the VBS theme is just a Christianized version of whatever other "themes" are popular for birthday parties or camps that year (or sometimes old themes from previous years).
For instance, I guess The Big Backyard is a show in the States and my church back home is doing a VBS themed "God's Big Backyard".
Can we come up with our own ideas sometimes too?
Please share how beets and charity work co-exist. Because I'm nearly certain that even the hungriest person doesn't want beets. Beets taste like dirt and will stain everything they touch. And if you eat too many beets they'll turn your poo shades of pink.
I DARE SOMEBODY TO PROVE ME WRONG!!!
Now that's a VBS activity just waiting happen. "Hey kids! Welcome to Schrute Beet Farm Day!"
Ooooooo! "The Office" themed VBS. Jello-molded stapler for snack! Stick your head in the copier for craft! Painfully inappropriate comment day! Merideth the missionary! It's the stuff dreams are made of. Long live Scranton!
My kid is at Cactus Canyon this week . . . came home with a tin pie pan with holes in it to hang outside as his craft. . .you should see the covered wagon outside the church from the VBS Decorating Cartel.
Please tell me that your "Walk it Out" reference was about this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU3N5c2Kxnw.
My roommate and I think this is hilarious. Hip Hop and 60's dance combined.
"This t-rex wanted to be an all star, but in this pit, it looks like he became an 'all-tar.'"
ha HA! :)
stacy from louisville: i started reading your comment without realizing you had written it. when i got to the part that dared people to prove you wrong, i started giggling uncontrollably, because it started to register in my brain just exactly how they would do that -- prove it, i mean. then i looked up and realized you had written the comment. that's about the time that i went, "of course." :)
Oh, I've got another one...seen on a sign at a church here in Nashville:
S.C.U.B.A
Super Cool Underwater Bible Adventure
????
Jon - Mind your geography, please! Ohio's coastline stretches across the southern tip of Lake Erie, one of the largest bodies of fresh water in the world. It is essentially a fresh water sea that affects weather and other climate issues. Any good VBS Congregant in the Buckeye State should be able to "feel like they are floating in an veritable ocean of awesome" quite easily as with all the Great Lakes, you can not see across them, and they have tides and can produce 10-12 foot breaking waves and even bigger swells.
I think your point was to jokingly reference a land locked state requires a huge mental stretch for kids to feel as though they are are on a maritme adventure. It's a funny point and I agree. But a much better example would be Tennessee; which only has one natural lake in its far northwest corner, which formed after an earthquake about 100 years ago.
Love all the VBS posts. Seriously. But I really think you need to find a church having a VBS in your area and volunteer to be the Dino-Dig Leader of the four year old class. You owe it to the universe after all your VBS posts. Plus, you'd likely get loads of new material...
Our church just did "Exploring Christ in the Amazon" for the kids last week. There was a little Amazonian hut - complete with jungle sound effects!! - in the foyer for about a month beforehand. :-)
"Because swimming with Christian crocodiles in the swamp is ..."
...An idea Salvador Dali toyed with but eventually rejected during his religious surrealism period?
...The best way to prove you're a "Real Man" who loves Jesus?
...The ultimate in evangelistic performance art?
...the eternal destiny of righteous Crocodile Hunters?
...not advisable, because even though they say they're "Christian" crocodiles their church doesn't get many repeat visits?
...all very well, but if the Crocodiles invite you to their potluck dinner, politely say no and leave rather quickly?
...one of the rides at The Holy Land Experience?
I could keep going, but I'll stop.
My church did Holy Land Adventure a few years back and it was actually pretty cool, since kids got to learn a little more about the world Jesus grew up in. But why "marketplace" I'm not so sure.
Anyone know the history of VBS themes? I'm a relatively new Christian, but I did go to a VBS or two as a kid (in the early 90's) and I don't remember there being these packaged themes. How long have we been doing this?
Anon - @ 7:55
You must be a new reader because it's pretty widely known that the two biggest complaints about this site are:
1. My lack of grammar
2. My inability to properly reference fresh water lakes.
I'm working on both problems as we speak
Jon
My church used the Outriggers Island stuff last week. I am so ashamed to find out that our vbs curriculum is not original.
Jon, your VBS idea makes me think of Travolta's "dramatic breakthrough," The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. You should tell your friends at Lifeway to try and work that in as a curveball theme at next year's clandestine meeting.
Kudos on the awesome David Caruso reference.
Sometimes when my friends and I are about to make an awesomely bad pun, we pretend to take off/put on invisible sunglasses. This is decidedly less funny if you happen to be wearing real sunglasses, so I try to avoid making puns in those situations.
Are you kidding me?!? We just had Dino Detectives at our church this past week!
I was one of the puppets, and I did think it rather odd the Uncle Al, Aunt Ann, Eleanour (sp?), and Eddie were searching for dinasour bones all the while being friends with a tricerotops named Tuff Stuff. Of course talking dinosaurs who love apple pies are normal!! Thankfully, my youth pastor is cool enough to spice things up with our own video of im-prov humor. Seriously, Whose Line is it Anyway? has nothing on us. If he ever posts it online, I'll comment the link.
Aw, man. Now I can't get "we're dig, dig, digging for the truth, truth, truth in the Word, Word, Word of God..." out of my head...
One seeker-friendly church near us is advertising the Anti-VBS VBS. Their signs features the letters VBS with a slash through it and their church name at the bottom. I guess it's for all the little kids who are already burned out on regular VBS. (down with the establishment!!!) I will admit that I would like to go just to see what anti-VBS VBS is all about.
LOL for a quick minute I thought that picture said "Dino Defectives." I pictured a Pterodactyl with one wing longer than the other just flying in a circle all day
I've done Son Harvest before. My former church did it about 5 years ago, and my current church is doing it this summer. Anything with a farm theme works well in south eastern PA.
P.S. If you're doing a "The Office" themes VBS there needs to be a 'ride' that isn't a ride a la the Lakawana coal mine elevator. Perhaps a spin on the floor buffer? Push them across the room with the giant broom?
Stacy - I must disagree.... I LOVE beets! They taste wonderful is they are prepared well. But, yes, certain uh, stuff, will turn pink-ish if you eat too many.
A co-worker of mine told me about a VBS sign she saw for a church in her area (I don't think she goes to church anywhere.) The theme was: Sin Busters!
Besides having a theme that's dated (Who-ya-gonna-call? Sin Busters!), which is my biggest complaint, she got the visual picture that the church would be beating the sin out of her children. I told her that was HER job.
P.S. - How about a more current theme that adults would appreciate like...
Seeking and Saving the
LOST
Each day's lesson would begin with: "Previously on LOST..."
We have 'The Mystery of The Missing Fruit," which demands you have a detective book (the Bible) and teaches about the Fruits of the Spirit. It's just a shame they made 400+ shirts that misspelled 'fruit' as FRIUT.....
Our church writes our own curriculum. It's bible based, fun, and applicable. This year we focused on David, as a warrior, lover of God, chosen king, and a picture of Christ. The kids learned archery, the real deal. I'm sure David had to shoot some arrows to protect his sheep. On the last day we had a shootout contest with real medals. We invited families to supper before the evening school. Lots of dads teaching and playing with the kids. It was a great outreach and I pray the kids will love Jesus as a result.
So. True. As always.
Aaaaand Stacy from Louisville's comment rocked my socks.
A church near us did a Harry Potter themed VBS last year. What the heck? I liked HP too, but as a VBS theme? Did they not read the parts in the Bible about witchcraft being a bad thing?
Okay, for 310 posts, everything has been fair game; but now you're tempting fate. VBS is a gazillion dollar business. Probably thousands of jobs are riding on another successful summer of salvation (with crafts and juice). Thou shalt not make light of it. The entire economy of the Christian world could collapse.
I just got back from working in a VBS from the middle ages . . . They're saying next year is pirates, not sure where they are going with that one!
One of the churches in my area is mongo rich, and they always spend a ton of money on their VBS. Two years ago, it was a desert theme and they went out and bought for all the leaders REAL sombreros and ponchos, which are not cheap at all.
We went to that church and asked them what they were going to do with all their props after their VBS (which was a week before ours) and they said they were just going to throw them away.
So now, it's a tradition to copy their VBS theme so that we can get all the free stuff they toss!
My kid is seriously at "Power Lab" as I type!
Power Lab was great.
Our last VBS was called "The Great Bible Reef"!
I'm so sorry this post about VBS themes is over. I've enjoyed reading everything....perhaps the funniest being:
If I ever do have a church, our VBS is probably going to be called "Bounce." I'll outfit all the kids with those big balls you can crawl inside and roll around in. I'll throw a Bible inside and some goldfish snacks and probably some glitter. Then we'll just roll them around for a solid week.
When you wrote this post last year (wow...makes me wonder why I bother commenting on a post from last year) we did Power Lab and we just finished Crocodile Dock last week. And our theme for next month (we're doing two this summer) is Rome! Is that what classifies as a curveball??
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