I realize that the response that many of my more traditional readers are going to have is, "Drummer? What drummer?" It's true, unless you go to a contemporary church or at the bare minimum a church with a contemporary service, you're about as likely to see a Bengal Tiger on stage as you are a drummer during worship. (How awesome would that be though? I bet he would play keys.)
But many people know exactly what I am talking about when I say, "fishbowling the drummer." I am referring to the thin enclosure of plexi-glass most churches place around the drummer on stage.
I imagine this is for acoustic reasons, that being behind the transparent shield gives the drummer a better sense of how the drums sound. But that's kind of boring, a little vanilla, sort of flat. I think there are three more interesting possibilities:
1. To prevent a funkless infection.
The drummer knows that people like me, the fairly funkless, are out in the crowd. So in a measure of protection, he asked that churches entomb him in plexi-glass. That way, when I am out in the crowd failing to keep rhythm with the song, "blessed be your name," he's able to not catch my funkless infection.
2. The choir robe theory
The guy that sells choir robes and hymnals has gone out of business. Less people are buying them, so he has had to diversify. Instead, he created a new market for "drummer bowls" and business is booming at churches across the country. (As I have mentioned, he also sells that little table and chair that Andy Stanley of North Point uses on stage.)
3. A blood feud with the triangle player.
Maybe, as I have referenced before, there is a blood feud between the drummer and the lady that plays the triangle. They are like Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac, east coast vs. west coast, Cali vs. New York. The drummer believes, "the triangle is a percussion instrument and should be mine to play." The triangle player believes, "the drummer has enough to worry about, let me really explore the stage with the triangle." To keep the peace, pastors had to build a separator between them.
Again, these are just theories but they might be true.
P.S. Happy father's day.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
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66 comments:
a bengal tiger playing keys? a funkless infection from the floor? exploring the space of the stage with the triangle? brilliant.
i'll add that i always thought the church "authorities" were the ones who decided to put the plexiglass swimming bowl around the drums. kind of like a happy medium between those of us who like it loud and contemporary and the more traditional folk who need to be phased in to the blessed loudness. like, maybe they fear a mass exodus of old people with blue- and purple-tinged white hair once they introduced the drumset to the worship experience. so the plexiglass reigned in the full blast of the noise and helped them communicate the message, 'see? we care about your hearing. we care about keeping it holy with the hymns. we're just experimenting here. please don't go.'
We all know the real reason the drummer is fishbowled: Pastors around the country have heard of Jon Acuff. Yes, Jon, they've been warned about you and your pop and lock tendencies. And those pastors know that on the off chance you're promoting your book at a local AARP meeting and you visit that church and the drumbeat is not muffled you'll whip out your fearsome dance moves in the middle of "Blesses Be The Name".
Your dancing ability has planted fear in the hearts of pastors all over the world. You've been blacklisted. It's a Soup Nazi kind of thing: NO DRUM FOR YOU!
And don't ever mention Tupac again! I'm still not over the loss. Peace out.
i think the blood feud is between the pentecostals and the non-denominationals.
next time those holy rollers step foot in my plexiglass cube, i'm gonna cut 'em!
I laughed as soon as I read the title.
FYI- most drummers hate drum shields. They're primarily there to keep the drums out of the other microphones on stage, and to make them quieter in a smaller room. :)
With some youth groups, the fishbowl has a very practical purpose: to protect the drummer from the stuff the other students throw at him. Ok, this only happened once on a retreat for me, but it works.
Ah yes, I hate the plexiglass. I hate the hot-rods too, but I'll play with those to avoid the plexiglass.
The interesting thing is that there are drum kits perfectly suitable for the church setting...unfortunately the people who know about such things are often pushed aside in favor of the parents who donate their kid's old set he used in his death metal band before he was sent off to military school.
(just found out about this site yesterday. I love it.)
Love #3. I can just imagine the tension as the band practices... the glares, the smart aleck comments. I can see it almost come to blows, as the triangle player yells, "don't make me come over this altar!!" only to be held back by the ass't. pastor.
Another idea...have you explored how Mr. Miyagi to Daniel in the Karate Kid is like God to us? i.e. how he teaches us stuff through experiences that don't seem relevant or that aren't what we want to be doing? Like when Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel how to wax, etc. Could probably add to the analogy w/ the evil karate teacher too!
Just a thought... maybe a silly sermon story. But it does have some 80s reference!
An older couple, who had on-going 'discussions' with their pastor about the unnecessary loudness of the drums during worship, were being shown around a friend's new church building. As they entered the sanctuary and approached the platform, the wife turned to her husband and said, "Oh, look what they've got around the drummer, honey - bullet-proof glass!"
Hm. My first thought had something to do with tomatoes.
I think it might be bullet proof. :P
I used to go to a church that didn't just "fishbowl" the drummer; it was a full-on go-go cage up in there. Srsly. It looked like an Assemblies of Striptease.
(oops, can I say that?)
Being a singer in a band, I can tell you that if you have a full drum kit up there, you might not be able to even hear yourself THINK! I love drums, but if I can't hear the other singers, it's going to be me trying to shout into the mike so I can HEAR!
Love drummers. Also love my hearing. Sometimes, the two don't go together.
My church has one of those things, and the real reason (no joke) is so that the old peoples ears don't bleed.
I remember when we first put our drummer in his fishbowl. "What, is the Pope on drums today?"
My church has three, yes, three drums kits set up. The one in the student room, and the one in our contemporary service are in the fishbowl, which is universally hated by our drummers. But the fishbowl, for all the havoc it wreaks on the sound of the drums, is not the worst thing you can do. Yes, I am talking about our third drum kit, the V-drums. Imagine if you will, a full orchestra, a 100 member choir, about 1500 people singing and worshiping. And yet, keeping time is the sound of cheap, electronic drums that belong in a 80s hip-hop group.
Yep, that's my church.
And yep, that is reason #439 why I sit in the contemporary service.
I'm sorry, but I totally believe that the moment we take away the fishbowl it will just be replaced by the cow bell. I mean...we need more cow bell! And when that gets added, who knows where the service will go...
I mean other than the harp, it was David's instrument preference.
I'm in the youth band at our church, and our space is about twice the size of McDonalds , so we need the shield up there, or you get up to about 120 decibels (yeah, I'm the sound guy too), which gets us yelled at by the old folks in the service next door
I always that it was just a big visual "psyche!!" from the worship leader.....if we put the drummer in a fishbowl, you will forget that he has a microphone in there and you will think that it is not as loud.
We don't put our drummer in a fishbowl and I know for a fact that a few of the older people in the congregation put cotton in their ears during worship. Haha. At least it's a compromise.
Brilliant! With an exclamation point.
I must say as a drummer when I saw the title I smirked, giggled and said, "NOT ME" Muhahaha.
Great article.
A few years back when we were transitioning pastors, the incoming one was thinking that we may need to incorporate a drum cage, or 'Fish bowl' have you, to keep the drums from being overbearing. However he was intrigued by the fact at we had not done it prior to his arrival. I commented that we didn't need one, I have a gift called "Control".
We have a number of Senior menbers that made known the level of playing in my earlier days and have learned in time how important control is. Volume control is the key. Finding a drummer that understands that quality and can implement it without sacrifice tempo control it tough to find. Thanks to God for this Gift and thanks to my former congregation for teaching me how to use it. Otherwise I would be "that one guy in the cage"
Our drummer is a pretty good friend of mine. He's used to words "fish bowl" before to describe the shields.
He keeps a "Scuba Steve" by his kit. Not that anybody gets the joke.
I love love love reading your blog everyday! I think you should consider writing about how churches throw a prayer into the end of akward moments...I think my church used 2 akward prayer covers today... =]
Keep the sound of the drums out of the other microphones? With some church drummers, it seems like it's keeping the sound of the worship band out entirely; though it's never as bad as the guy who recently gave us a copy of his album... he's doing the traditional version of Amazing Grace which is in 3/4 time, and the drum machine is in 4/4 time.
BTW, why not seal the base of those things and create an actual fishbowl with some giant koi or albacore tuna. (In some states, if you bequeath money or give a designated offering to your church for an aquarium, they have to build one.)
We have been visting churches in search of a home church. This past sunday the church we visited not only didn't "fishbowl" the drummer they had a bongo drummer! Between the drums, the bongo drums, the piano, the electric violin, and the choir- we felt that this church had figured out how to not need more cow bell!!!
Cara
I'm pretty sure it's number 2. By the way, what do the people who used to sell robes and hymnals do? I mean I'm sure some churches still use them, but surely the seller's income has taken a bit of a hit.
For father's day my church wore jerseys or t-shirts with teams on it. Another - hopefully successful - attempt to make church more "manly." While looking around, I saw all these Pumas on sale at the Marshall's and thought of you! Hope you had a great father's day.
We had a motorcycle and a Porsche on stage for father's day.
The Dave is right. You just need a drummer with control. I've drummed in numerous churches: A big one with no glass shield and small band, the same big one with a glass shield but during an orchestral performance, a small one with no shield, and a big one on some electric drums.
I love being the first drummer in a church and hearing old ladies say how my drumming has blessed their hearts.
The bad thing about control is this: If you don't have the same drummer every single time, you need something that allows the sound man to control the sound. This is either electric drums or a fishbowl. Too many young drummers think that they are soloists or the center of attention -- heck, we have a 40-something drummer who twirls his sticks and is itching to do a double-bass drum solo ala Whitesnake.
By the way, there are definitely drums in heaven, and they are LOUD!
How funny. There's nothing wrong with loud drums. Except that everything else needs to be turned up just as loud to sound right and then it just gets all distorted. What about the pillow in the bass drum?
Our drummer has a stuffie of Animal from the Muppets on his kit and that's about how he plays.
I'm sure it's like the spit guard at the buffet - for those of us who stumble over the words pretend we know what we're singing. Or we fling our tears of worship...
God has blessed us all with your blogging. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be laughing, but I do anyway.
I know I'm so late, but I'm ALSO with "theDave".
drummers usually play WAY too loud. We have a mandate at our church that the sound of voices should always be the most prominent sound. I don't know why I call it a "mandate" because NOBODY ever follows it.
I'm not an old lady with blue hair (well, I'm 38, so semi-old) but the music is almost always WAY TOO LOUD for me. think of all those little cilia in your ears that will fall down and will never pop up again!
Can I mention that my church not only encloses the drummers in plexiglass, but the trumpets, as well? I think it's, like, a spit guard.
We also have a cowbell.
When we first got the bowl, it was just setting on the stage for a few weeks before the band got going. We thought it was to possibly protect the pastor from any bullets...j/k.
Dude, you don't have to hang around drummers long before you figure out what the fishbowl is REALLY for: to shield the band from flying sticks. It's like a one-man hockey match in there. He gets to going and... fwing!... drumstick in the face!
I gave you a promo again today. Thanks for the great posts!
:)
My hero! I've often pondered the drummer's plexi-glass cage myself. And after years of thinking that drums will burn the church down, I'm proud to say that my frozen chosen Presbyterian church has a proud drum set on stage all the time, no plexi-cage, and an amazing rock band. But thank you for raising the issue, it infuriates me!
Meghan
Fishbowl - our church takes that literally. Due to space issues on the stage, our drummer is confined to the BAPTISMAL tank. On the Sundays that there are baptisms, he is liberated to the stage (with protective plexiglass). The rest of the time he's stage right, in the baptismal tank. And boy, can he play.
I wish they'd let him out, you can't help but pity him. It probably gets lonely in there.
We have a drum set in our little conservative church and I'm proud of it. It's shining day of glory was our "unicorn song" day. We actually sang a choir version of Chris Tomlin's "How Great is Our God" with organ and drums...no fish bowl for either.
I must suggest to all Christians and Atheist to read this book "The End of Reason" by Dr. Ravi Zacharias. This book forces the reader's mind to do the critical thinking that is so lacking in Christianity today. It should also be considered required reading for the atheist who has never really looked at a logical argument for the existence of God, or the Christian who has never really critically analyzed his own faith. Check out more information on The End of Reason here
i think there is a #4
the protection sheild.
put in place by the worship leader who does not give very many signals to the band and the drummer does not know where he/she is going. its so easy to get a drumstick in the bum cheek.
lol
Let’s see, the rock worship is designed for the older generations. So we have to make sure it’s not too loud for them. Oh wait, NOT! Particularly when our youth band plays and some ”more mature person” complains that it’s too loud, my first thought is “maybe it’s not designed for you(r target demographic).”
I think I understand about the drum sound getting in the other mikes. Since everyone in sound knows
band members are always needing more of “them”, in their monitor.” And now all my friends in the band are mad. Big Butter Jesus shout out to you \o/.
But, my biggest pet peeve is that there are always tons of fingerprints glistening on the plexi-glass (no, am not ocd).
Our main drummer is really good and controlled and thank goodness, he controls the triangle...
I'm not so sure the fishbowl does anything more than annoy the drummer and pacify the older generation in church. Our drummer is the best I've ever heard (inside or outside the church) and I think it's a shame that they put him back there. If you have a great drummer, you really don't notice the drums. When you have a bad drummer, THAT's when you notice the drums.
And speaking of drummers:
What do you call a guy who hangs out with the band?
The drummer.
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
That's so funny--our church just got a giganto enclosure for the drums--with a roof and everything! It was a little distracting at first...
I understand the need for sound control, I really do. What makes me smirk though is that churches want the rock sound for contemporary worship but don't want the volume that naturally comes along with said sound.
Our drummer is in a "cage" but I'll trade that for him being able to play real drums instead of the old tupperware electronic kit he used to have to play.
A little over a year ago, my husband and I were looking for a church to attend and, at almost all the churches we visited, the deal-breaker for him was the lack of "live sound" because of these fish bowls. My husband is a musician (a drummer) and it really bothered him that you could basically put a CD in and get the same sound as the "live" band. From conversations I've been a part of with him and other musicians, I think this is a deal-breaker in churches for a lot of musicians.
We did end up finding a church that we're completely plugged into. And he's the drummer. And there's no talk of fish bowls or anything. It's a good match.
Ah, the drum bowl. I am a bass player. I HATE the drum bowl! I hated it when I was on stage and couldn't here the drums (ok, so my bass was a little loud...so what?). I hate it out in the congregation (at my former church, we didn't call it a congregation. Nor did we have bulletins. Or a sermon. We had a "message" with notes on the "program" that was given to the "audience". Oh and there was no cross outside, either. Wouldn't want people coming to church to know they're in a church)
Ahem, anyway, satan laughs when he sees drummers in the drum bowl. It is his plan for all of the rhythmically challenged to be unable to hear the beat and thus dance around like a bunch of drunken badgers.
Plus it's a huge marketing campaign by plexiglass makers to sell us useless plastic.
Oh the horror of drum bowls!
Next time you want to compain the drums are too loud and demand a fishbowl, think about this: All that sound that was too loud for you 75 feet away from the drums is now refected right back at the drummers face. I think it's funny how we go to great lengths to quiet a band that's naturally loud. I play guitar and I have to put my amp backstage. If it's loud enough for me to hear 3 feet away, it's far too loud for someone in the congretation :(
And PLEASE use gloves or a towel to move the fishbowl! Otherwise you smudge it...
How about a Tommy Lee-style lowering from the ceiling? Sounds megachurchy to me... but our congregation is like 40, so I'm no expert, but I still think it would be awesome.
...especially since our drummer is a 9 year old...
I always assumed that the drummer got caged in so that he (or she as the case may be, our female drummer rocks out when she plays, and she sets the kit up backwards/lefty which amuses me) doesn't accidentally chuck a drumstick out into the congregation and skewer Great Aunt Ruth who is sitting in the front row.
I always feel sad for the drummer...The poor guy so just wants to slam out a 80's hard rock drum solo, but alas can not. It's like there's a taser gun attached to his seat that if he hits the rim too hard he will be punished...punished severely.
From someone who's been doing church music for longer than I care to admit in public (yep - church organ traditional AND edgy rock, all on keys):
1) At our space, the acoustics waaaay override anything else on stage because of how the room was designed (badly, acoustically speaking. If I ever meet that architect....)
So the shield was purchased to tone down the amount of sound coming offstage out in the audience.
Drummer hearing is protected because we use in-ear monitoring - sealed headphones for the drummer. That Aviom system was the best thing we ever got.
2) We tried electronics, and they worked OK, but the acoustics are just better for people to play. Hard to find a drummer who will get up on Sunday mornings to play, much less play an electric set (even if it is a hartt......)
3) In our case, it wasn't the "church hierarchy" that made the decision - it was the band.
The volume questions/complaints happen regardless of the drums, at least at our church! I've decided the "happy medium" moved out of town.
4) The plexiglass doesn't help when the drummer loses their grip - the sticks end up behind them (in our case, in the baptistry. Rather loudly - wooden sticks, metal bathtub...er.....baptistry, resonant chamber. And they didn't even clank around in time, either.)
The drummer at my church has a glass cage round him. But this might be due to the fact that the worship leader aspires to make a live album. Do all worship leaders want to create albums? haha. We even have ambience mics to 'capture the sound of the audience' and a 29-track hard disk recorder.
Although June has a good point - there's been many a time when our drummer has been carried away and let go of the drum sticks (is that the technical term? can't help but think of chicken.), and they have gone flying (into the plastic glass stuff). Then we are without drums for the next five minutes as it takes an age to find anything amongst the tightly bordered drum set.
Hate playing in the fish bowl, but if it's the difference between playing a live kit or an electric kit, where do I enter this fish bowl?
My church built a faux brick-and-wire wall between where the pastor stands and the band as part of a 4 part sermon. Much to my disappointment, they took it down. It reminded me of the chickenwire stage in blues brothers. I couldn't wait until my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ got unruly and started throwing beer bottles on the stage during a spiritually re-worded version of "Rhinestone Cowboy."
And then I could constantly make reference to "I'm on a Mission from God"
I was so sad when they took the fence down.
I think they need to have double bass kits. I think we need to do metal renditions of "I'll fly away" and "Power in the blood"
Anyone who has spent any time with drummers knows why the fishbowl is there - it's because they spit, like camels.
It's actually there for several reasons:
1. to keep the stage volume down- allowing the other musicians to hear themselves better and not having to turn the floor monitors up as loud.
2. to isolate the drum mics from other instruments and vice-versa.
With many churches recording the services, it helps to not have crash cymbals going through the vocal mics and guitars going through the drum overheads.
3. to keep the room volume down. that way octogenarians and "old school" worship leaders will be a little less hot and bothered that there are drums in church.
wow. the triangle player is one of the coolest musicians ever. i mean, real skill is involved when we are considering the deafening monotony of this crazy person. this person is one that should be in a cage. (or at least a leash.)
seriously, i have this lady in my church who is the "Oh, Hallelujah! Thank You, Jesus! Preach it Pastor!" lady. And boy is she enthusiastic. I work with the recordings and sound and pretty much everything else having to do with the behind and the scenes. One recording session had to be really tweaked because she was so loud that we heard her in EVERY reference mic we had. I-R-R-I-T-A-T-I-N-G!
Funny part. Normal service. Pastor was doing great. Out of the blue, cell phone rings. Not just a normal "cingular" tone but one of those gospel choir recordings and very loud. Everyone is looking for who is causing the disturbance, sure enough Hallelujah Lady is sprinting to the back door as if she was on fire. The Most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed. I think I peed a little I laughed so hard.
Having seen first hand the damage that can be done to a wall when an overly ambitious drummer loses his grip on one of his sticks during an especially lively song . .. my theory is that the plexi glas is there for the protection of the audience/congregation. :)
Blessings!
i can't stand drum shields - nothing says "we like to live in a bubble" like seeing that stuff on stage. what are churches afraid of? good music?
yeah, we have that. But we can still hear him. Over the exteamly loud moniters that are blaring out guitars, basses, and vocals. And then there are the drum fills, during the chorus usually, that should not be there. that is why I learned when I am singing with the youth band--
"No follow drummer, Yes follow tone-deaf lead singer" Oh well, But hey, it's for the service of the Lord. :)
At my church, we fishbowl the sax player. Not because he sucks, but because it's a small stage and when he's playing full blast the rest of us can't hear ourselves. We have electronic drums, so we can turn the drummer down when we need to. Not so the brass (or woodwind, technically)!
I think you should do a post about the people who leave a lot of comments on your blog. HAHA
Speaking as a drummer who has worked both behind and beyond the"Fishbowl" I present reason #4 Safety glass for the rest of the band, having gone through a period of using cheap drumsticks, (And if you're a drummer admit it, you've either done the same, or considered it) I have learned that they last about as long as a bag of skittles at a youth-night movie. Thankfully the bits and pieces that shatter and go flying are "Caught" by the fishbowl protecting the eyes and arms of the rest of the worship team. (Including our Cow-Bell player)
i have been a church drummer/percussionist for over 8 years... the secret reason for "fishbowling" is because the other musicians are hating on us drummers. here's why:
#1 drummers get to have custom kits with cowbells and dobros and egg shakers and chinese crashes and we get to hang them around the drum set like mr. t rocks chains. the guitarist may have a limited edition les paul custom signed by willie nelson but unless some pimple faced 12 year old kid wearing the korn t-shirt his mom told him not to wear to church approaches the guitarist after the service to inquire about his guitar- aint nobody gonna care.
#2 drummers may forget to tune the drum heads but they can still get the point across and no one would notice. guitarists, pianists and bassists have to tune like there is no tomorrow because if they were to have one out of tune string the pastor would be questioning their holiness and their wife would be wondering if it was because they had decided to avoid the saturday honey-do list.
#3 drummers keep the beat. everyone else has to remember chord progressions. i can name many times sitting in worship practice and almost falling asleep while waiting for the guitarist and bassist to figure out a key change. i just hit some dead animal skins whilst counting time in my head. if i miss a hit i can make up for it. if the guitarist or keyboardist misses a note the congregation snaps out of their worshipful stupor and coldly eyes the offending musician. i got it good.
there are many reasons to hate on the drummer and so thusly many worship teams have taken to "fishbowling" under assumed "technical reasons" (and believe me i am also a media guru and sound tech so i understand those points!)...
and we drummers forge on despite the hatin...
The reason they keep the drummers in a fishbowl is because if they shine the lights just right, the old people can't see into the bowl and will not raise a ruckus.
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