#280. True Love Waits

Not having sex before marriage is one of our favorite things to do. Seriously, next to Frisbee and Amy Grant before we got mad at her, waiting until we are married is top of our list. Heck, I've written about abstinence and promise/purity rings. But somehow a ton of people are still doing, well, "it."

I think part of the reason is that we do a really weird job of selling the concept of virginity. I am of course talking about the cornucopia of true love waits products.

Now before I say anything else, I have to cut the guys and girls behind the concept some slack. At this point I imagine they've sold the franchise and someone else is making all the decisions on what to slap a "true love waits" logo on. Or even worse, like the bootleg Calvin and Hobbes stickers you see on cars, someone stole the brand and is creating grossness. Regardless of how it happened though, it has happened and someone needs to say something. What am I talking about? The true love waits sweatpants.

If you have not purchased a pair from Kmart, please let me give you the actual product description from their website:

Whether she is lounging around the house, going to practice, or doing her chores. These soft athletic style crop pants will keep her comfy. Perfect for wearing with her favorite sweatshirt or tee. These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that "True Love Waits" in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants.

* Drawstring waist
* Bold abstinence screen print

As you can imagine, this product left me with many, many questions:

1. Isn't it odd that this girl they mention only does three things and all three of them are productive, wholesome activities? Her options are staying at home, practicing an unnamed sport or doing chores. She sounds kind of boring. They should have said, "Whether she is reading the Old Testament, studying the New Testament or reading both..."

2. How come my pants have never "boldly proclaimed" anything? Honestly, most of the time I think they proclaim, like the map character from Dora the Explorer, "I'm the pants, I'm the pants, I'm the pants, I'm the pants!" I must have lazy clothes.

3. Why would you ever write a holy sounding message on the booty part of a girl's pair of pants? Click on the photo and you'll see that's exactly what they did. Seriously. One of the rules my daughters will live by is "the butt is not a billboard." It's simple, but kind of catchy. This seems a little crazy to me. If I were going to tell people to wait on sex, I would not draw the teenage eye to the butt by putting my message on a cheek canvas. (I could not resist that one despite it's complete lack of funny.) I would put the message on the ankle. No one will have inappropriate thoughts about an ankle. Promise.

4. Am I the only one that thinks it is a little weird that one of the features, listed after the drawstring waist, is the "bold abstinence screen print?" Is that a setting at the sweatpants sweatshop? "Hey Mike, turn off the bold sexy screen print and crank up the bold abstinence screen print. We need to make a new batch of pants for Kmart.

I like the idea behind the whole "True Love Waits" campaign. It's a message I will discuss with my daughters at some point. Is it something that has helped people? Yes. Would I put that message on a teenager's rear end? Probably not.

Update:

Kmart, in an effort to not offend anyone released a ridiculous statement about how the pants aren't really about abstinence at all, despite listing one of the features as "bold abstinence screen print." This is something that azcentral reported concerning the sweatpants:

A spokeswoman for Sears Holdings Corp., which owns Kmart, told The Buzz the pants have absolutely nothing to do with taking any kind of position, either way, on abstinence. "It was not associated with any group or any cause," said Amy Dimond. "It was just a graphic put on the pants."

Piper & Blue, Kmart's private label brand, designed the sweatpants as part of its summer collection that hit stores in late April.

Although the pants were not designed to make a statement, Dimond admitted that "there may be some (customers) who made the (abstinence association), but it was not the intention."
Dimond added that the sweatpants are going on markdown and a lot of the inventory has already sold through.

p.s. Big thank you to Ashleigh for telling me about these awesome pants.