I am on Facebook. I have a profile that you can see if you search for theacuffs@yahoo.com. I would love to be your friend.
But one of my favorite things about Facebook is when we Christians try to "out-God" each other with our profiles. When we try to make them just a little bit holier than the profiles of our friends. It's not easy though. Creating a super Christian profile can be a confusing challenge if you're not careful. That's why I came up with this handy guide.
How to Christianize your Facebook profile:
Step 1: Your Name
Don't just use your name on your profile. Calling yourself "Mary" or "Tim" doesn't do anything for the Lord. Name your profile something like, "Forgiven1" or "WashedinBlood." Better yet, name yourself after a Bible verse so that when you send someone a message, even if they don't open it they will see they got a note from "ForGodSoLovedtheWorld."
Step 2: Status
On Facebook, you can put a little message by your name, allowing people to know where you are or what you're doing. Don't just say something like "Matt is stressed out from finals." Write something a little longer like, "Matt is stuck in the moment, the moment when my eyes will look up to the Son, the Son that's always been there for me, arms around my life, for now and evermore."
Step 3: Photos
Only posts photos from church events. And if your church goes to the beach, or the devil's sandbox as it were, make sure you wear a tankini.
Step 4: Quotes
If you don't have a quote from CS Lewis on your profile page, I'm not sure you're a Christian. You better get right with God and add at least three or four.
Step 5: Groups
The other day someone invited me to join the "Recovering Alcoholics" group on Facebook. That was a weird request as I am not an alcoholic. I have friends that are and I sometimes speak at rehab clinics, but still, weird thing to assume. For the most part though joining a group is a great way to show your allegiance to God. Join as many as you can. Better yet, create your own.
Step 6: Applications
I hate the applications. Everyday someone is inviting me to "download the virtual cobbler! Make your own virtual shoes that you can sell." But there has to be a good Christian application, something that lets you count up the number of people you've told about God or make your own Jesus fish.
Step 7: Notes
Use the notes section as a way to recap in long, long detail the sermon you heard on Sunday. Spare no detail. And when you do post the note, tag all yor friends so that they'll get that little "hey you have a notification" status update. Good stuff.
Step 8: Profile Photo
What, you were just going to use a photo of yourself? You sweaty Philistine. Use a cross or a dove or better yet, a Jesus fish kicking the darwin fish in the face.
Did I miss anything?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
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72 comments:
"You sweaty Philistine"...classic
haha! i definitely have a C.S. Lewis quote on my facebook.
Ha, I get to be first! Unless someone beats me to it while I'm typing this...
You left out what you should enter under "Religious Views." You can't just say "Christian." That's just not enough. You either have to put a verse (not John 3:16, put something like Joel 3:13 and make people go look it up), or a catchy phrase, or a lengthy sentence (borderline paragraph) explaining how you don't have a religion, you have a relationship. You have to have something creative!!
In all honesty, one of my friends has one of the coolest religious views entries I've seen: "I'm trading in my worldly uniform for a crucified jersey." I actually think that's pretty awesome, and I would steal it except you can't go around stealing other people's profile phrases. Bad FB manners.
I'm a fan of the ambiguously unambiguous answer to "religious views"... something like "nothing but the blood" or "forgiven" or "in the Son" or etc... But if you're a really savvy Christian looking to covertly evangelize via your facebook profile you probably go with some U2 lyric as your religious view... I know I have.
hahaha.... that's great! the status updates always get me... i liked the c.s. lewis quotes too. and don't forget to put the Bible in your favorite books.
As always, hilarious - and so true! Thanks for the helpful hints. I'm going to have to change my status to something a bit more holy, I guess. :o)
I think we should find someone to make that "Create your own Jesus Fish" application. And then people with families can have the big fish, with all the little fish following behind, and maybe on with a pacifier and a cute little diaper, like on the back of minivans. :-)
You must also include the Bible in your list of favorite books. If you do no, you are a heathen.
Let's not forget, please, the amount of witness marketing that is getting out of control. IE. Abercrombie and Fitch is Abreadcrumb and Fish. I saw one for Starbucks the other day, and thought, 'Wow, I thought Starbucks was already a gift from God. And now I could have a t-shirt that says so also. Lucky me.'
I'll see you a tankini, and raise you a dark colored t-shirt worn OVER the tankini!
If you're too cool to list the Bible among your favorite books, use Blue Like Jazz instead.
ok, so I assume this applies to bloggers who use Hoosier Reborn for a name and a picture of a mighty oak that appears to be lifting its arms in praise.
dang it.
in my defense, I have entries on cigar smoking, drinking and condoms. That has to off-set christianizing my profile.
When it comes to the "interests" you better included God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, reading The Word, and and entire list of every ministry of which you may be a part. And it better be the first entry.
Otherwise, the Lord may smite you.
I don't have a facebook page, but I do have a myspace page. On it, under the "people I'd like to meet", I've noticed a lot of my friends say, "Jesus", which I'm sure is a righteous thing to say. But if you're a Christian, haven't you already met Jesus? I know I have and I KNOW Him very well, too, although not as well as I'd like - working on that. ;)
Don't forget the "Verse Of The Day" application!
Every part of your profile information must include religious stuff.
Favorite Book - something by Karl Barth or Dedrick Bonhoffer. Don't worry your friends don't know these authors and will be too intimidated by your spirituality to ask questions.
Favorite Movies - you have to have a Jesus movie or a rapture movie in this section.
Favorite Music - Not just a Christian band but a praise and worship band.
Favorite TV Shows - this is a tricky one and you have to go old school to Little House on the Prairie, 7th Heaven, or Highway to Heaven.
Interest - Reading the Bible or Witnessing are acceptable.
Quotes - CS Lewis,Martin Luther, Rick Warren, and the Bible are must or you may not be as holy as you think you are or you want to appear.
I don't have a quote from C.S. Lewis on my profile, so I have definitely failed. But I will soon post the Jon Acuff quote,
"If you don't have a quote from CS Lewis on your profile page, I'm not sure you're a Christian. You better get right with God and add at least three or four."
Will that count for anything?
Sara #1 totally beat me to it :) You can't a 'cool' Christian unless you put something other than "Christian" under religious views. My favorite so far that I have seen is:
Religious Views:
Unorthodox burnout discontent with country club religion and non-denominational denominations
Oh my
What about all of us who are too "holy" to have a facebook account? You left ME out!
How dare you!
I am laughing out loud about right now....
GREAT...
I have C.S. Lewis books in my Fave books ... is that Christian enough?
Real Christians wouldn't be on Facebook! It is a tool of the enemy! You'll eventually see!!!
You definitely can't forget to put something cool as your Religious Views, as Sara says.
"Christian" is not enough. Here's a small sample of the cool things my friends say:
"I have a personal relationship with Jesus"
"Jesus loves us all"
"Jesus resolves."
"A follower of Jesus."
"Jesus is neat."
"Jesus is my savior."
"Jesus loves me, this I know."
"For it is by grace that I have been saved... by the blood of Jesus Christ, my Lord, my God"
"Jesus Christ died for me...I owe Him everything."
"Follower of Jesus"
"Jesus sets people free."
"Jesus' friend"
And that's just from the first page of a search. This is MANDATORY to christianizing your Facebook profile.
Definitely the religious views thing mentioned by sara. And listing the Bible in your books.
But don't forget the About Me which starts with 'First and foremost I love God. God is the center of everything I do." That's followed by giving God the glory and how awesome is God and how God has worked a miracle in your life and all the ways you are involved in your church. Wrap it all up by reminding everyone that you are bought with a price and that you're a child of the King.
Extra points for an obscure favorite Bible verse.
Don't forget your "about me" section. You have to have something like, "I once was lost but god found me and saved me and witnessed to me. Now my life is filled with the love of sweet baby jesus. I also like the color blue and Go Redskins!!!"
Go to applications in Facebook and search "Jesus Fish", it's there.
My FB is very Christianized.
The only thing I can't bring myself to to do is Christianize my Religion.
I just call myself Christian i.e. follower of Christ. Just because others have mucked up that description doesn't mean less to me.
Ugh, I am overthinking my profile page.
I completely agree, Christianizing ones facebook must include changing your religious standing to something other than Christian... I must confess mine is simply "jesus" and I was tempted to change my political views to something equally ambiguous but Christian but I decided to keep it at "other"
Danielle I love it... "Religious Views:
Unorthodox burnout discontent with country club religion and non-denominational denominations"
Tsk, tsk . . . you forgot having the "I am Christian" application on Facebook. This nifty app allows you to brag about all your blessings and how good of a Christian you are in comparison to your heathen friends. You can brag about things like: "I listen to worship music", "I volunteer my time at my church" and my favourite "I walk in the light lest darkness come upon me."
God and evolution are not necessarily enemies. One can believe that God created life that can evolve. I think that this is even more amazing than God just creating life as it is. He created life to adapt. Of course, this forces one to believe the Bible is not always literal. I accept this as Jesus himself used many parables and metaphors to express the Word of God.
I wish I knew how to make those applications. I'd make a countdown clock to when Jesus return. Punch in your favorite day, obviously anything more that 7 years from now is too long, then it counts down the Days To Armageddon.
Yea! That's the kind of application I want someone inviting me to add.
great stuff, thanks for the post full of info. I can't quite get going on facebook, but I have twitter down.
Hee hee. I just heard on the news about a guy changing his name legally to "In God We Trust".
Personally, I like to hide my faith and trick people so they don't know what's hitting them. :)
The best quote I've seen on facebook was one by Rich Mullins:
"God spoke to Balaam through his ass . . . I believe God still speaks through asses today . . . so if God should choose to speak through you - you needn't think too highly of yourself."
—Rich Mullins
For profile pics, it's even better if you have a picture of yourself reading the Bible to children in Africa or worshiping with your hands in the air with huge Power Point lyrics behind you like "How great is our God".
Dude if your
--First Fave Book isn't "the Bible"
--First quote isn't either a bible verse or an artsy quote from a random unheard of Christian band
--Religious view is not a variation of saying "I'm a Christian"
Then you are TOTALLY not a FB Christian. Period. :)
BTW, my religious views are "I be grazing the lambkins of Him". Feel free to steal.
you may want to check this out too. it's a resource about facebook for pastors.
http://ministrymarketingcoach.com/free-e-books/
And my religious view on facebook is: "God is a hurricane and all I have are crayons". I stole it from someone more creative than me, something else Christians like to do.
My favorite religious view is "Jesus saved the hell out of me".
Now- when I joined Facebook, it was brand new. I think we were one of the first schools it was at. Anyway- you couldn't put anything cool for your religion. There was a list to pick from. I didn't even realize you could personalize it until now!
Like Jen and Chris, I also have a Jon Acuff quote on my profile (the hurricane/crayons statement). This must count for SOME FB Christian points...
you forgot adding every bible verse application. (although you don't like the applications)
rofl...hilarity ensues, seriiously man where do u come up wit this stuff? o right other readers
Hoosier Reborn,
You made me crack up! Good for you!
I don't have a single C.S. Lewis quote. I need to repent!
I totally have scripture in my quotes section. Also, your favorite books MUST include a bible.
My friend and I once got so ridiculously tired of being invited to every Christian facebook group EVER. Seriously kids. Just stop. No one wants to be in the "Pray hard to stop the abortion of fetuses that should not be adopted by homosexual couples in the name of our dear father" Facebook group just like noone wants to be the heartless jerk that doesn't join the "Fight Aids and Poverty and Africa!" those groups mean NOTHING unless you're actually actively fighting AIDs and poverty in africa. If you're joining that group just because all your friends you, you are a crappy poser. That's like standing in front of a homeless person eating a cheeseburger and thinking you've spent time serving the poor.
I think it's cool when people write their testimony in their "About me" section though.
And I like my about me section. It says: Go read about Jesus, He's much more interesting than reading about me ;)
and it's true :)
Love your site! I was a pastor's kid ( independent baptist to boot!), so I really get the concepts you write about!
What about calling everyone "brother" or "sister" before their first name? That really trips our my friends that are not believers!
Keep the funny stuff coming. We take ourselves WAY too serious as christians
man-my facebook is more 'christian' than I thought it was. I totally have Jesus as one of my interests and C. S. Lewis as a favorite author.
HA!
as you might imagine ...this is a subject near and dear to my heart...(I deeply love facebook) i think you have hit on some excellent points. i too have a jon acuff quote:
"It’s about rolling up your sleeves and being honest about the scrapbook of scars you’ve collected on your arms from foolish decisions in the past. - Jon Acuff, www.prodigaljon.com"
your insights are becoming iconic, i hope that doesn't scare you... and get you more afraid of being one of those people you don't want to be...
the devil's sandbox **LOL** i love it
My friend Mike has this on his FB
Religious views: I have some of these
Political views: I have some of these too.
Nice. No wonder he gets to be a Young Life director...
I have "Mystery Science Theater 3000" quotes in my profile -- but C. S. Lewis (whom I adore) had a sense of humor, so he might have approved. (Plus Mike Nelson's a Christian, so it counts! :-) )
I have 2 comments on my facebook page. 1 "satan will seek to do the most harm to those who seek to do his kingdom the most damage" Richard Baxter
And numero dos:
"beaten with a stick of holiness like a devil pinata"
from stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com
Am I a christian?
Oh my goodness -- I've been giggling my way through the entire comments section. I had no idea my FB profile showed me to be such a heathen -- although I do have some variation of the suggested Religious Views. Definitely need to find a CS Lewis quote to post.
hahaha... Ok, let's see. I'm doing pretty well. I...
1. changed my "religious views". It says, "all about loving people and loving Jesus".
2. have the Bible listed as one of my favorite books
3. have stuff about God in my "About Me"
4. a lot of groups about Campus Crusade for Christ and other stuff
5. Bible verses in my quotes section
...No C.S. Lewis, though. I might be backsliding.
Actually, there is a facebook group by the name, "I Pledge to Reflect Christ with my Facebook Profile."
I only have a quote from Paul in mine. And the Ray Bradbury quote more than cancels it out.
-10 Holy Points
=(
Where's the MySpace love?
Or is MySpace more evil than Facebook?
Religious Views:
"I'm in love with Jesus!"
"Nothing but the blood of Jesus"
"Jesus loves me"
"Jeus Freak"
I can't believe that this hasn't been mentioned.
The Youtube box:
Lifehouse Everything skit
William Tell Overture for Moms (Anita Renfroe)
Abby
PS...one of the religious views that I listed is mine. :)
A few more suggestions (i've seen more than my fair share):
1. "Become a Fan" of a famous pastor like Tim Keller
2. Don't be mediocre by just having "Christian" listed under your religious views - spice it up by saying something like "Religion is for Pharisees, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and if you want one ask me how" or "Christian-/Calvinistic/Evangelical/always reforming/Bible Believing/Jesus is my Savior" that last one was copied from an actual Facebook profile
3. Under 'favorite TV shows/movies' - put a blurb about how you believe watching TV is unspiritual and you prefer to spend your time in prayer and bible study (note that you'll already have listed this under 'interests' and 'about me' and a few other places on your page so we get the picture)
Those are the first ones that came to mind.
So true! I admit I replaced "Christian" as my religion with "Salvation is through faith in Jesus Christ!" or some such thing, 'cause quite a while ago I pretty much decided to stop calling myself a Christian based on so many reasons. You so have to make a Jesus fish application. Make it link to this blog, and I will add it. Otherwise... no. Hehe.
But I have to point out that you used the wrong "your" under Step 3. If I didn't, the owner of one of my other favorite blogs would be SO disappointed in me.
And while I'm pointing out mistakes, rdpettus3, it's Deitrich Bonhoeffer, NOT "Dedrick Bonhoffer". I think those who list them as their favorite authors would seriously consider hunting you down to make sure you know that. ;o)
don't forget putting "follower of Christ" or "saved by grace" instead of "christian" in the religion section.
i flippin love you. i mean in that completely roman heterosexual, inner thigh grabbing brotherly greeting holy kiss (or holy hi-five if your baptist..or is theirs the holy sideways hug?!?) kind of way. hahaha you make my blogline visits so marvelous
you know the "superpoke" application?
i feel like it's a sphere of the f-book world that has yet to behold the christianeze gospel.
just imagine...
"brian has BAPTIZED YOU IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRT."
"chelsea has BULLHORN-EVANGELIZED you."
"darryl has has ANNOINTED YOU WITH OILS FOR THE HEALING OF DEMONS."
and what about RELATIONSHIP STATUS? Is "single" always accurate? how about:
"sarah IS IN AN INTENTIONAL FRIENDSHIP with jason."
or
"felix IS KISSING DATING GOODBYE"
I think this is what Jesus had in mind when he said the "ends of the earth." He meant facebook, too.
How about putting that you're "in a relationship with Jesus" for your relationship status. Could you BE more spiritual than that?!
D'oh, I was laughing right up to the CS Lewis quote. I was doing so well...
Does it make it better if I've quoted you? (I have by the way)
Well my problem is I HAD a facebook account, but after about 3 weeks of going to look at it I couldn't figure out what else to do with it...
I fail at FB Christianity. My religious views is, at least, a Donald Miller quote, but it's not overtly christian: "I think we are supposed to sleep in meadows and watch stars dart across space and time." And, possibly worst of all, I DON'T have the Bible listed as one of my favorite books, but I DO have Lamb: The Gospel of Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (by Christopher Moore) listed. I'm also in a fake facebook relationship.
Am I going to facebook hell?
.... is FB hell Myspace?
*scrambles to find appropriate C.S. Lewis quotes to put on her facebook profile*
Man, I have a lot of work to do. Here I thought being facebook Christian meant being honest and real and *gasp*, normal, so my friends could see that Christians are humans too ;)
Loving this entry today - have just endured some criticism about being a pastor that has a facebook profile, and that it is not even a Christian one to boot. Next time, I'll know to send them to this blog :)
"Step 2: Status
On Facebook, you can put a little message by your name, allowing people to know where you are or what you're doing. Don't just say something like "Matt is stressed out from finals." Write something a little longer like, "Matt is stuck in the moment, the moment when my eyes will look up to the Son, the Son that's always been there for me, arms around my life, for now and evermore.""
I KNOW THAT GUY!!! That was hilarious to read. As I was reading it, I was thinking to myself, "One of my friends does that!"
Great post.
This was a greatly funny post. I have a friend who has her status as "follower of a fisher/carpenter/teacher/savior man named Jesus". I thought it was clever. Alas, mine just says "Christian." I should get on that.
Wow, I am a terrible facebook Christian. I only have one C.S. Lewis quote (and one Tolkien quote), and none of the other stuff in your Christianizing guide. However, do I get points for having 5 out of my 10 fave books written by Christians (3 are C.S. Lewis) and a shout-out to the fact that I re-read LOTR and Chronicles of Narnia every year?
Heh. I have a friend whose religion tag is "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell." Very Christian, but it's a quote from Waiting For Godot, so...?
Let's see...
My religion is a boring "Non-denominational Christian," but half the bands I like are known Christian groups, I have "The Man Who Was Thursday" and "The Space Trilogy" as favorite books, and a good quarter of my flair board and quotes list is Christian (mostly Chesterton).
On the other hand, I think they're canceled out nicely by being a fan of Carl Sagan and Terry Pratchett. Oh, and all the "my evil plan is working" flair. Clearly I'm falling behind.
I used to have a Lewis quote, but I ditched it. Does that mean I have lost my faith? What if I replaced it with a quote from Ted Dekker? Am I still a sweaty Philistine?
You forgot about videos; just like photos you can upload videos from church events. I just uploaded our college groups recent boxing match.
LOL!
this is def one of my favorite posts!
and i'm afraid that some of the stuff on my facebook might cancel out all the jesus stuff, like some of the quizzes i've taken that posted to my wall: what's your stripper name, what's your favorite swear word, etc...
ps- under my religious views, there's a U2 lyric:
"grace, it's the name for a girl...it's also a thorn that, changed the world..."
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