Have you ever heard someone do this? This might be more of a Southern Baptist thing, but I personally find it to be delightful. Here's how it typically sounds in a prayer:
"Lord we just pray for your strength Lord. We just lift you up Lord. We just praise you. And devil, ohhh devil, we put you on notice. No longer will you have control over our annual bake sale. The mistakes we made last year and the fights we had at the peach pie table have been forgiven and forgotten. We put you on notice devil."
Whenever I hear something like that I start to think about the devil. He's at home, sitting in a chair by a never ending fire of sulfur and sorrow eating a deviled egg. He's reading Harry Potter or the Da Vinci Code or New Earth when someone knocks at his door. He gets up, opens the door and sees a delivery man standing there. "Uh, Mr. Devil. Just wanted to let you know, that you've been put on notice. Mary Smith says you better stay away from the bake sale this year." He shrugs, walks back over to his chair and turns on some MTV.
That's what I imagine in my head anyway.
This post goes well with:
#118. Slowly turning against Oprah.
#96. God's Favorite Word
#15. Calling Satan "the enemy."
(And thanks to the folks that suggested this topic.)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
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53 comments:
This cracks me up. As a Southern Baptist, I have actually never heard this phrase. But my mother prays, "We bind you, Satan." I can just imagine someone wrapping him up in barbed wire. And some of the women in my workplace's non-denominational Bible study pray: "We say that we have dominion over you, Satan, and that you will NOT bring a spirit of fear into our lives." That sort of thing...the leader is Assembly of God. Until this study, I had never "spoken" to the devil before other than "get thee behind me!" :)
What's with the signing in? I've got to follow a link from a friends blog now. How do I officially get invited?
I personally don't like talking to Satan in my prayers. It's like, well, praying to Satan? I know that's not quite right, but why do we assume that he's always listening, like God. He's not omnipotent. I heard someone say once that you're wasting your time talking to Satan, because he's off somewhere with Fidel Castro. That was in the 80's, so now I bet he's definitely with Bin Laden. Also, doesn't Satan need permission from God to mess with us anyway? (see Job.)Also, Jesus told Peter that Satan had ASKED to sift him like wheat (ouch!), but Jesus had prayed for Peter. Deep things. By the way, you're very funny. Keep it up, my friend.
of course the devil watches mtv. awesome.
Silly, Satan doesn't turn on MTV. He turns on Martha Stewart just to make sure she's representin'.
Stacy
You're crackin' me up.
I had a mind picture of Satan eating deviled eggs when there is a "Knock, knock" at the door.
"Who's there?" asks Satan.
"Land shark."
Ok, I guess you have to be 40+ to understand why land shark is so funny.
Andy -
There's something funky with my blogger account. You don't ever have to be invited if you use the URL, www.stuffchristianslike.net
Otherwise, if you use the long blongspot URL it might ask you to sign in. Not sure why it is happening. Something I am trying to fix
Jon
Karen - I thought the same thing - it struck me as praying to the devil. I figure he's kind of like the relative who likes to discuss politics - you try to ignore him best you can and not get into his "stuff" but you still have to keep a close eye on him so he doesn't ambush you!
Oh my word - this is SO true!! I'm not going to be able to hold my laughter the next time I hear someone pray that. And I'm blaming you!
BTW... in reference to your blog on using big "seminary" words - I used to attend a church where the Pastor would CONSTANTLY use big words from the pulpit. Everyone else seemed to nod their head in agreement, while I was left thinking what in the world does that one mean? and trying to figure out how to spell it and look it up later, so as not to be the only one at Sunday dinner that had no clue what the morning's sermon was about. They even had shirts made up that read "Is your church Salubrious?" Seriously... and they love it. It makes me laugh, although it is a good word (it means "favorable to promoting health" or "heathful" in case you were wondering).
Why call the nasty ex
When the Beloved is sitting right by you?
Binding Satan is big amongst my Southern Baptist folk. Also they remind God that what is bound on earth is bound in heaven and what is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven...just in case the Lord had forgotten.
Southern Baptists are getting more charismatic, is my observation.
To influenced by culture - when you said 'put on notice', I automatically thought of Steven Colbert's 'on notice' board. :). I always dug the phrase 'Hedge of protection'; when I was a kid I saw people walking up to 'your house' and suddenly a bush springs up out of nowhere and they get caught in it. Thought it was funny, but you may have needed to be there (hopefully not in the bush).
I was at a youth conference one time with our youth group. The visiting minister served up this classic:
"We're putting the Devil on notice...you better leave now, or get saved."
I've never heart this either, and I've grown up in the typical SB church. However, it does get on my nerves the number of times people say "just" in their prayers. I "just" want to pray Lord...etc. That irks me. I also don't understand why people have to talk in a different lingo in their prayers. I don't speak all that formal, so I don't pray that way either.
OK, this is close to a topic I was going to suggest. There's two kids' songs which address the devil in ways I don't get.
The first one goes "I wish I had a little black box to put my devil in. I'd take him out and spank, spank, spank and put him back again." W.T.(insert expletive initial here)? MY devil? and you're spanking him? What?!
The second one is the old "joy joy joy joy down in my heart" song which has a verse that says "If the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack (ouch!)" What the heck?
Devout Hypocrite--
I always found the other verse of that song more disconcerting! "I wish I had a little black box to put my Jesus in/ I'd take Him out and kiss-kiss-kiss and put Him in again."
Apparently Jesus is 4 inches tall and kept in a box. So if you're going through a desert phase thinking "Why can't I sense the Lord in my life?"--it's cuz I haven't let him out of the box lately. To kiss him. Ew.
Hmm... deviled eggs.
I have never heard about putting satan on notice. I have only heard the standard "get thee behind me" and "in the name of Jesus, I cast you away."
I prefer to let Jesus handle satan. I feel like I am not equipped.
Oh golly I'm laughing so hard at the description of the devil at home...I lost it at the 'eating a deviled egg' part.
BTW, if you use the blogspot url you need an extra 'f' in stuff. Otherwise it says the blog is private and you need to be invited.
Going after the devil.
This reminds me of a self-defense professional I met. He told me that there are those in the industry that sell pepper spray and mace and teach people to "go after the criminals" with this stuff. And so people do, and get messed up in the process.
I think it's one thing to go after spirits, but the devil himself has been dealt with and YES isn't everywhere.
I just feel uncomfortable acknowledging Satan at the same time I am talking to God. So I usually try to keep him out of my comments. But I will tell you at times when I am being pushed I will say Satan, get off my back, God is the way I roll. Makes me sound all cool and urban doesnt it. Heehee.
"He's reading Harry Potter or the Da Vinci Code or New Earth"
LOL! Surely he'd be watching the new Golden Compass DVD, either that or writing a blog-post with a 38 point refutation of Expelled.
This post made me think of a bit that's done by a Christian comedian (hey! another thing Christians like--Christian comedians) named Joey ILO. You'll have to copy and paste this link into your browser, but it's worth it!
http://www.101qfl.com/voicetracks/CindySwanson/Joey%20Prayer.mp3
Just discovered your blog; thank you for providing what I expect will be many hours of work-day entertainment.
I don't put him on notice, but I have been known to rebuke Satan and let him know that the blood of Jesus is against him. Yes I grew up Baptist (but not southern Baptist).
Recently, I've felt weird about that. I mean, I pretty much interrupted a conversation with Jesus to talk to Satan. Grant it, it was with good intentions, but I wonder if that is theologically "correct."
"We're putting the Devil on notice...you better leave now, or get saved."
I
CAN'T
BREATHE!!
HILARIOUS!!!
"I prefer to let Jesus handle satan. I feel like I am not equipped."
The Holy Spirit in you is equipped to put Satan in his place.
"The first one goes "I wish I had a little black box to put my devil in. I'd take him out and spank, spank, spank and put him back again." W.T.(insert expletive initial here)? MY devil? and you're spanking him? What?!"
For some reason, I couldn't read your entire posting without seeing Akon and Eminem's "Smack Dat" video in my head.
now, "land Shark"?......where are my Depends?
haha! hilarious.
sorry for "cyber stalking"
i know i don't know you....
clicked over from alece's sight.
great post!
I wonder if the devil really does were Prada...
I wonder if the devil really does wear Prada...
Yes, and asking for a hedge of protection to keep him away. Since childhood I always pictured a neatly trimmed row of boxwoods.
I think you should do a post on the number of Bible verses people have on their facebook/myspace pages.... I think the more verses means the better the Christian or something!
Also, then are we obligated to put the Bible in the list of favorite books?
And this leads to the surge of Christan network sites.... they are really weird!
Shannon, I agree. I've also seen it as "I wish I had a little black box to keep my Bible in. I'd take it out and read, read, read and put it back again." Which makes a LOT more sense than keeping the Creator of the universe around like a Cabbage Patch kid.
I just had to tell you that this post made me laugh for almost a minute straight. I liked the concept of a messenger taking Satan a memo. What exactly are we putting Satan on notice about? How are we following up that threat?
Also, I'm 25 and totally understand the land shark reference, Rosie. TV Land FTW.
I am laughing hysterically about the "hedge of protection"!!!!!!
I have more or less always understand that we do not have the power to rebuke Satan, and in fact we'd better not dare messing with Satan, because he is waaaaaaaay stronger than us.
Jude 8-10
P.S. Suggestion for a future topic: judging whether other Christian events/writers/leaders outside your church are "legit" or not.
And just to step a little further back (I guess this COULD be an idea for a wholly separate item/post on SCL), what's up with talking to "the devil" (aka Satan, aka Lucifer the fallen angel who rejected God) in our prayers at all? Sure, we believe that the Trinity is omnipresent & we can talk to Him any time & at any place, but Satan? I thought he was a 1-place at a time kind of being that just commands a legion of skilled schemers (like Bin Laden). Can we put Osama on notice & bind him? 'Cause if so, the Bush administration could sure use that info!
I don't think I'm ever going to be able to eat a deviled egg without laughing.
MAN! I miss ONE day of reading your posts and now I can't catch up. Jon, when do you have time to eat or sleep?
I'm pretty sure Satan's spam filter blocks most of our messages.
I thought scripture supported us rebuking Satan in the name of Jesus????
the devil probably watches Bravo or Logo now, not MTV. Does he eat Devil's food cake for dessert? Is his favorite basketball team the Miami Heat? Maybe he's watching a Devil Rays baseball game.(i know they are now just the ray's but the devil probably still claims them) Is he eating Deviled Ham also? So few answers in the bible sometimes
Ahahahahahaha!
That is all.
In addition to speaking to the devil while praying, I also like to mix things up and open my prayers with "To whom it may concern". :)
this is my favorite so far (i'm reading these backwards). in case you're curious, the secret service ushers post just got bumped to #2. that one made me LOL.
i really like that the devil was reading New Earth. i have been "visiting" a church that i think i am no longer going to visit thanks to his flippant Oprah and New Earth comments last sunday.
sigh.
i cant even breathe from the laughter.
i am actually southern baptist ( i used to be a pentecostal hiding under a nondenominational blanket ) and we totally never do that crazyy junk.
that totally contradicts what the book of Jude says. But oh well.
In the mega charismatic church i used to go to, we did more binding and declaring than worshipping and surrendering. like wth dood.
props to the bloggage, yo
I call this praying to Satan and find it very disturbing. How can you interrupt a prayer to have a word or two with Satan?
It is just silly at best, and disturbing if you think about it.
i work with pentecostals and I hear that almost every week.
Jon, have you ever been to Chow Baby on Howell Mill Road over in Midtown? Your "This post goes well with" is remarkably similar to Chow Baby's sauce mixing cards...just wondering...
this reminds me of The Colbert Report! Stephen puts people "on notice" all the time. well, he used to...
Hey. This is for Devout Hypocrite and Shannon. This is the song I learned: I've got a little white box to put my Jesus in, I'll take him out, hug his neck, and share him with a friend. Then, I've got a little black box to put the devil in, I'll take him out, STOMP HIS HEAD, and put him back again. hehe.
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