Ever done this? It's pretty simple. This is where you want someone that is with you to do something but you don't really know how to say it, so in the context of praying out loud you actually pray at them, instead of God. Imagine me and my wife are praying together and this is what I say out loud:
"God, I just pray you will help Jenny with her attitude. She's been really grumpy lately and you are the God of all might and can change her negativity. I pray you will help her see the error of her ways and she will no longer go out so often with her friends at night Lord. I ask you to just lift her attempt to ban the show Family Guy in our house God. It's really unreasonable. In your name I pray."
None of that was for God. It was for my wife, but instead of saying it to her, I hid it inside the context of a prayer. Maybe you don't do this, but I know I have and it's not cool.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
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21 comments:
Happens a lot of Sunday mornings in church, too, specifically as "praying at non-believers."
Bad bad bad.
When I first got the internet in high school I'd go to the Christian chat rooms on AOL, and people would type prayers like that into the chat!!! Wow!!
It makes me crazy when the guy praying at church does his own sermon recap during the prayer. . .
I haven't noticed this as much as I've noticed another phenomenon: giving God information. It's a popular way of making sure someone's prayed for without having to take the time to inform the group beforehand about the request. Why go through it all twice when you can save time by just shoving it all into the prayer? "Lord, we pray for So-and-So, because, Lord, she has a biopsy coming up because there's something suspicious on that X-Ray and the doctor said he needs to get a better look and you know, Lord, they already have a lot of unpaid medical bills, and it turns out, Lord, that she might be losing her job because the company's merging with a bigger one, as they just reported on the news tonight, and . . ."
We're an efficient bunch, we Christians. :-)
Gina
How about when someone uses prayer to break unpleasant news to the congregation? "Please be with our sister Betty-Lou who was in a terrible accident and is now fighting for her life on a ventilator."
Or, better yet, for 'holy' gossip... er, concern, "Please be with Sue and John who separated this week."
There's a ton of weird stuff Christians do when they pray. I knew a guy in Ireland that only prayed in the King James Language. Weird. I have a younger friend (he's about 20) who's in seminary right now and he always seems to be trying to impress people with his prayers. His tone changes, he breaks out words like propitiation, he gets VERY passionate and starts preaching at God. Weird.
I agree wholeheartedly. I hear this often from me and from others, when we pray so that other people hear us, something Jesus expressly warned us not to do.
This is true whether we want to uplift each other, challenge each other, or convict each other. If these things need to happen (as they often do), they're worth doing face to face.
so....this is wrong why??? j/k. hilarious.
Glad I found this blog.
My dad is so guilty of this. When we were younger we used to fight in the car and before we pulled off my dad would pray "Lord help us with our attitudes, and help the girls to realize its not worth fighting." He had a good reason, but he was still totally talking to us.
Awesome post :)
Do this all the time. It's never worked yet. You'd think I'd learn by now.:)
my seven year old son does this at supper to his 5 year old sister...or worse yet, back to his mom..."God, help mom to not yell at me"
Then there's big trouble, before you know it the whole family is praying at each other in raised voices.
Help us Prodigal Jon!
I've gotten this one so many times from my mom over the years. Usually when I've been a jerk and I already know it and I'm on the verge of apologizing. But then being prayed at makes me angry again and I keep being a jerk.
The moral of the story is that praying at people backfires.
I have to stifle a laugh when the pious pray-er accidentally switches pronouns in mid-prayer and starts speaking right *to* us *about* us!
And yeah...the gossip under the guise of prayer thing...bad bad bad, as bernard says.
It always drives me crazy when people use "father God" as prayer filler words. You know, like we say "and uh" or "Ya know" in between every word of a conversation? Well a lot of Christians say "father God" like every other word while they are praying bit it sounds like they are saying it in place of dead air, not really telling God that He is their father.
I know, it's bad that I notice that. Now my daughter notices it since I mentioned it to her and she really hates that I brought that to her attention.
Now you have to do one on praying in King James english. I was visiting a church this morning that uses the NIV, but when the deacon led the offertory prayer, he prayed in KJ. Took me back to my childhood....
bearcatprof
Okay, but I have to say one of the things that my mother taught me as a soon to be wife (several years ago) was that sometimes when we're turning things over to God, it MIGHT be helpful to say it out loud so that the person (translation: your husband) knows exactly what he's done. lol! I say this with my sincerest sarcasm!
LOL. My favorite part about this post is that you used the word "just" in your prayer. Christians like the word "just." "Father God we just wanna lift up Ruth Johnson. She just needs your healing. Lord just be there with her." JUST!
BTW, this blog is so funny. I found it yesterday. I've been reading Stuff White People Like for a couple months now and I always have to laugh, yet cringe and say "ugh we are so LAME!" and this site makes me do that too. Good work! :P
This is my #1 pet peeve, especially in services, but it happens all the time. A close #2 is the "say Hi to the person next to you." I will never like that. It is SO fake, and there's no way it helps visitors to feel comfortable. (I wonder why we do it at North Point?)
hahaha, mom used to do this all the time when we were kids. It was easier than stopping the prayer, scolding us, and then continue praying.
Bulls-eye.
Drives me nuts when it happens. Hate it even more when I'm the guilty party.
What's really hilarious is how instead of dropping this obnoxious habit, I just get more and more subtle at it. When you step back and think about it; that the God you're praying to is completely aware of the situation you're praying about, as well as your true intentions - it's ridiculously funny.
Great post-great blog.
Prodigal Jon,
I don't know if you've ever read a book called 7 Confessions of a Pastor (not sure that it's 7, but it seemed right), one of his confessions is not liking corporate prayer and he talks about a lot of the "stuff" you have on this blog as reasons why. The part of the book I read has the same spirit as this website.
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