There's a subtle difference between "in christian love" and "bless her heart." When you say bless her heart, you're gossiping about someone behind their back but soften it a little with this phrase. In christian love is what you say when you want to tell someone they're horrible but you want it to feel like encouragement. Here's how it works:
"Jon, can I talk to you? I hope you can hear this in christian love, because that is how I intend it, from one friend to another, but I have to tell you, you suck. I felt convicted to tell you this so that you can grow in your not sucking."
It's a pretty versatile phrase though. This is what an 80-year old lady said to my friend who is single the other day:
"Sweetie, you need to get out and date. Do you think God wants you to be celibate for the rest of your life? I'm only asking in Christian love."
I love it, it's like this get out of jail free card we use every now and then to do what we want but still maintain a bit of Christian veneer.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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18 comments:
"Sweetie, you need to get out and date. Do you think God wants you to be celibate for the rest of your life? I'm only asking in Christian love."
Seriously, Jon. No way somebody sai this to another person.
No longer will I say "I have the gift of encouragement".
For now on, I will say "I have the gift to undo the crap that other Christians say."
Sonova!
I would rather friends just go ahead and be straight with me, rather than cloaking it w/ "christian" love......the fact that someone needs to qualify it at all usually means they don't really know you well enough anyway....
Kind of like the Christain saying, Bless his heart... That translates, "that stupid fool"...
haahaa
Hey, Joe. I'm the friend, and it really did happen.
I've also been told (by a 75 year old) that I need to hurry up and get re-married (I'm divorced) because if I live alone too long, I'll get selfish. And, that it's a waste that I don't have a boyfriend (by a pastor). As if, somehow, without that, nothing I do has any merit.
All, in Christian love!
I’m learning to have a sense of humor about it, so I guess that’s something. And, I have made a vow to never use, “In Christian Love”. Ever. :o)
The whole high and mighty thing is hurtful. It's like when the nurse comes in with a 3" syringe and says, "This won't hurt" before she sticks you... like her words will prevent the pain.
Makes me want to bust out into that old Gaither hit, "If That Isn't Love".
Makes me think of the movie "Saved" where the "saved cheerleader" threw the Bible at another girl and said at the top of her lungs "I am filled with the love of Christ!" HA! (BTW, great movie, but not for those faint of Christian heart...bashes a bunch of Christian cliches too many of us hold dear to our heart. Language too, but a good conversation starter!)
Haha, I thought of "Saved" as soon as I saw this post. "I am FILLED with God's Love!" [proceeds to pelt the girl with a Bible]. Awesome stuff.
As one who has lots of single friends, I would've smacked that 80-year-old woman with all sorts of Christian love.
how about this one:
I'm not normally this prophetic, but there's something not right with you and I'm really concerned.
from a pastor's wife...
Yes, that happened to me and I wanted to slap her...
Jeepers creepers, this is accurate. My pastor preached once on how true friends tell their friends the truth, even when it hurts... One of my "friends" took it as an invitation to corner me and proceed to list my flaws using my name (you know, like I for idiotic, L for lazy, etc.), and it was all "in love". No joke. She couldn't understand why I was so ticked.
This reminds me of another one - when you 'share in love' you are gossiping under the guise of a prayer request. My mom's sunday school class has the market cornered on this one, complete with phone 'prayer chain' so folks know the news asap.
bearcatprof
"When you say bless her heart, you're gossiping about someone behind their back but soften it a little with this phrase." - u are a true southerner for this observation.
It's like the Christian version of "With all due respect..." from Talladega Nights.
One of my friends in college thought that I'd be offended by the movie Saved. While yes, there are some language issues, I think it helps us see what the world thinks of Christians. The world will always see Christianity as foolishness, but we Christians can learn a lot about what we need to change about our actions and attitudes from that movie . I liked it for its satire, much like why I love this blog!
I'm thinking of getting my mother the copyright for "I say this out of love" for Christmas.
Kudos for bringing up "Saved"
A friend of mine went to a very conservative Bible school in Seattle for a little while, and they had rules about the movies that could be viewed on campus. 'R' rated movies were not allowed in student residences, but the only movie that was outright banned was "Saved". Not sure why, I guess they didnt want the students to know what outsiders think of us.
i just realized that this blog is opening my eyes up to things around me which i had no idea about before... ignorance really is bliss...
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