I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the Old Testament, perhaps in the book of Joel, God says that he does not like bikinis. I mean sure, Jesus hung out with hookers and the lowest of the low, but that was then. These days, the trinity hates bikinis. Enter the tankini. The tankini is kind of what would happen if you cut a one piece in half. It's a tank top on top and a regular bathing suit on the bottom. It's less Victoria's Secret and more Land's End. It was originally created in a church laboratory for youth group trips to the beach. OK, I don't know that for certain. What I do know is that neither of my daughters will be wearing one. Instead they are going to be in snowsuits most of their life. Their nicknames at school will be "girls that wear so many clothes." But that's just me, I'm weird.
(Special thanks to Martha for the tankini idea.)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
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13 comments:
Back in my day we weren't allowed to even wear bathing suits around members of the opposite sex. That was called "mixed bathing" (I always wondered why because there was no soap involved) and apparently it was the gateway to fornication.
Tankinis were actually created by moms who didn't want to dress their little girls in string bikinis, but they also didn't want to experience the hell of getting those wet one pieces off when their little one says "I have to go pee" Really I don't know why they came about, but seems plausible, don't you think?
Nope, they weren't created for youth group trips to the beach. Not my youth group at least! The only holy option was a one-piece for us.
That mandate, of course, led me to rebel and walk down the beach to change into my bikini and enjoy sunbathing among the "heathen."
As a father of a five year old girl, I wholly endorse your choice of clothing, nunneries, and the like...
Tank-what-i? All I've ever worn is this: http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-4.html
Just kidding. :)
A little late on the posting, but I fully agree with shanda. Even as an adult I dread the thought of needing to pee while stuck in a one piece. Tankini's are so much easier and let's be honest not all women can really get away with wearing bikinis. Which reminds me, maybe it's because I lived in SoCal but bikini's weren't an issue at my church outings to the beach. I on the other hand embrace the tankini as a God send to people such as myself who hate the confinements of the one piece and the lack of coverage of a bikini. Long live whoever designed the Tankini, and those who follow in their footsteps!
"It was originally created in a church laboratory for youth group trips to the beach."
This made me laugh violently and unexpectedly.
I grew up with the one piece only rule--no matter how "modest" your two piece was. Ridiculous.
Don't even get me started on the bathing suit issue!
all these women dislike one-pieces because they didn't figure to just pee in the pool?
My dad sent me this website and joked that maybe I could find a prom dress on the site. http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-4.html
These are swimsuits that are supposed to "highlight the face, rather than the body." Ha! Yeah right
We left our fundamentalist church 5 years ago. Because we moved, not because we had the guts to on our own.
I let my son wear his hair longer and my daughter wear tankinis. It's like I'm letting them rebel for me for all the years of rules, rules, rules. Sad but true :-)
RE: Wholesome wear swimsuits - I'm pretty sure the girl on the right is Jody from Full House. Also - I can SEE THEIR KNEES! How is that modest, I ask you? =)
The tankini is my piece of swimsuit for the summer! It looks great on me, hiding all my flaws.
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